The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[+Doomstick he/him]

He took a shot

was it a starting pistol? was it a shot of brandy? nobody knew.

(except for the fact that it was Canon that Uncle Brandy didn't like drinking brandy, so it obviously wasn't that one)

Edited December 28, 2021 by DoomStick

[AonEne he/him]

The one named Second was in the lead. 

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

Until it sneezed violently, dropping in to first and one half place.

[NameIess]

Right behind second the chicken who was in first place, who held a solid placement of 1.25th place

[AonEne he/him]

The mandra named Fifth overtook all of them. 

[NameIess]

After which the Mandra named Sixteenth Being Ridden By Hoid Carrying A Baseball Bat shot into first place.

[AonEne he/him]

Bigfoot, meanwhile, was in dead last. 

[NameIess]

this was of course because mandras didn’t have feet.

[DramaQueen she/he/neopronouns]

Somehow, a featherless ostrich had become part of the race, and the ostrich was simultaneously in first and last place.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

There was much screaming from the crowd.

[Morningtide she/her]

The Ostrich was awarded a ribbon and a medal, which was engraved with its name:

[Ashbringer he/him]

Bold Text Goes Here.

[Robin Sedai she/her]

Unfortunately, Bold Text Goes Here ate the medal and choked to death.

[AonEne he/him]

So the second-place runner ended up winning: 

[NameIess]

Loser The Slow.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

King Toe di um declared all racers must adhered to 

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

the bads of grammer n speelnhg.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

sorry

Suddenly a Bird

[Robin Sedai she/her]

rescued the dragon

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

from the clutches of

[Robin Sedai she/her]

TMZ.

[AonEne he/him]

Who chased after it to get it again. 

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

The Dragon screamed.

[+Doomstick he/him]

ahem

it is time for me to reclaim my place

here goes

Spoiler

He Did

 

[NameIess]

After which he ate twenty-two chickens.