The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[AonEne he/him]

Even as a baby, he loved holding a sword. 

[+Ark1002]

Holding it with his feet and a...

[+Doomstick he/him]

seven meter nose

[Condensation she/her]

Which, like Pinocchio's nose, grew whenever he told a lie.

[+Doomstick he/him]

but he never lied, because the only thing he ever said was "I like war"

[Condensation she/her]

It got a little repetitive after a while.

"I like war," said Bob.

[Jaywalk he/him]

Translated, that meant he was hungry.

[Condensation she/her]

For war. Bob the warmonger didn't often get hungry in the normal sense of the word.

[Jaywalk he/him]

Except when there were noodles on the menu.

[Kings_way he/they]

one time he went to war to get noodles.

[Condensation she/her]

He had to fight 5 separate countries to get those noodles, but he did it.

[Kings_way he/they]

then the noodles fought each other.

[Condensation she/her]

As Bob ate them.

[+Doomstick he/him]

they were instant noodles!

[Turtle they/them]

but then bob noticed that the noodles he had just ate where very bloody and so he...

[Experience he/him]

continued to eat them, this time with more speed and carelessness.

[Ghanderflaffle she/her]

The blood got everywhere. 

[Jaywalk he/him]

All over his brand new tablecloth.

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

“I like war,” Bob the Warmonger said, looking crestfallen as he examined the damage done to the tablecloth.

[NameIess]

Nameless challenged Bob the Warmonger to a duel.

[Ghanderflaffle she/her]

Bob accepted.

[+Doomstick he/him]

Nameless was knocked out instantly by bob's nose

[NameIess]

Nameless walked back into the house through the hole he had made when he was knocked out of it, and knocked Bob into the moon.

[Condensation she/her]

The moon was thrown from orbit and spun through space.

[+Doomstick he/him]

the microscopic life on its surface had the time of their lives