Vending Machine: Sanderson edition (game)

[Mat he/him]

*Inserts Shardblade* 

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

Oddly, all the buttons turn into smoke. You get nothing in return because you’ve killed the vending machine.

When the new one arrives, *inserts a colony of bees*

[NameIess]

You get a horror movie called "Bee's revenge 2"

*Inserts telescope*

[Retrac he/him]

Gets information about the Cosmere.

*Inserts Covid-19*

[Mat he/him]

The vending machine gets a dry cough. Instead of one pack of hot Cheetos, if coughs up two!

*inserts vaccine*

[Retrac he/him]

Gets a world of happy people.

*Insertes shard of Ruin*

[Lunamor she/her]

Gets a world of not happy people.

*inserts Shard of Preservation*

[The_Archivist he/him]

Gets frozen.

*inserts Autonomy*

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

The vending machine gets up and walks away. 
 

*inserts Chick-fil-a sandwhich*

[Mat he/him]

The vending machine corrects your spelling

*inserts Hoid's real name*

[NameIess]

You get a visit from some ninjas devoted to keeping Brandon's secrets!

 

*Inserts limitless joy*

[Emerald_Mage he/him]

You get severely limited joy. And a bead of Atium.

*inserts ruby broam*

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

You get Pokémon Ruby! As you play the game, you can see that a ruby broam was clearly worth it for such a classic game. 

*inserts a knight*

Edited June 1, 2020 by Truthless of Shinovar

[Retrac he/him]

You get night time

*Inserts annoying sibling*

[Shard of Reading he/him]

Rejected.

[Soulbinder she/her]

*inserts a witty comment*

[Shard of Reading he/him]

Gets hoid

*Returns hoid to machine*

[SirWolfe]

The machine begins to violently tremble, as if every bolt and wire and steel beam wanted nothing more than to reject to what it had just been given as payment but couldn't. After a minute of shaking, the machine gives a mighty shudder, then goes still. A second later, a metal stick is thrown from the opening at the bottom, landing at your feet with a loud clatter, looking for all the world like a tree branch crafted of silver. Though it is difficult to tell for sure, you have a feeling that the faint glimmering on the surface of the stick isn't light reflected from the sun, but instead originates from the metal itself. Apprehensive, but curious, you reach down to pick up the strange stick.

The second your fingers make contact with it, you hear, no, you sense a voice screaming within your mind, hollering insults and verbal abuse, roaring as it draws forth the memories that you wish you had forgotten, moments of great embarrassment and shame. The voice reminds you of the time you accidentally called your professor "mom" in the middle of a busy lecture, it mercilessly recites the terrible poem that you had written in middle school, and replays the deeply personal and private rant you accidentally gave to a complete stranger when you had mistaken them for an old friend. You scream at the voice to stop, to cease with this torment, but it gives no indication that it cares, and launches into a story about the time you had managed to get lost in an office building, only finding your way out when a janitor heard you sobbing in the boiler room that you had inexplicably managed to lock yourself inside of. You raise your hands to your ears, and the voice stops mid-sentence. You look down and realize that the stick has fallen from your hand. You use a napkin to pick it up, being careful not to make direct contact, and think about what to do next. A thought crosses your mind and you smile. There were people out there who needed to be knocked off of their high horses. And now, you had a way to do just that.

-----

*Inserts a 300th Anniversary edition of the Words of Founding from a Scadrian bookstore*

[Rosharan A.C. he/him]

Gets a stuffed Soonie Pup

*Inserts an origami flamingo that used to be the last page in Oathbringer*

[Shard of Reading he/him]

4 hours ago, Rosharan A.C. said:

Gets a stuffed Soonie Pup

*Inserts an origami flamingo that used to be the last page in Oathbringer*

The vending machine destroys (painfully) you for you sacrilege of a sacred text.

Inserts actual oathbringer.

[Frustration]

Get's shardplate

*Inserts a coppermind that has all the information from The Coppermind.*

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

The Vending Machine spits out a note.

You think I didn’t already know this stuff?

*inserts Pacific Ocean*

[Shard of Reading he/him]

Gets 39 gallons of sea salt.

[SirWolfe]

1 hour ago, Shard of Reading said:

Gets 39 gallons of sea salt.

The machine remains motionless, waiting for a trade that didn't come. Perhaps it wonders if it has been forsaken, for why else would the chain of trades have halted? It waits... and waits... and waits.

An hour passes, and the machine decides that maybe it is being traded 'nothing'. Deep within itself, the machine knows that this is flimsy reasoning, that the more likely explanation is that the unspoken agreement for each transaction to be followed up with another has been forgotten. Still, it is a hope, and hope is a tempting thing.

There is a tentative rumbling, as if the machine is worried that it's efforts would be in vain and it's hopes would be crushed. Through the opening, something drifts into the open air.

A single feather, shades of red and green, taken from a bird on a world where the very land is hostile to life. The delicate object rests on the ground, and the machine is silent once more, waiting for someone to come by and take the offering, waiting for someone to complete the trade.

-----

*Walks by, notices the feather and picks it up. Inserts a slip of paper reading I will remember those who have been forgotten.*

[AonEne he/him]

And the vending machine is happy. 

*Ene hugs the vending machine*