NerdSandwich she/her Posted May 4 Posted May 4 hey y'all it's been awhile. *doomscrolls last few pages* *hugs* I.... just *hugs* 1
Verdance he/him Posted May 4 Posted May 4 Erm is it like, intolerant for me to be concerned when i open unread content and see some bot or something spamming threads unrelated to islam with stock islam photos idk dont want to be a jerk but thats creeping me out
NerdSandwich she/her Posted May 4 Posted May 4 That... would creep me out too. I assume it's completely normal to be creeped out (but I am...an odd one). Don't look at me for advice (-1,000IQ socially) But yeah that sounds kinda creepy
Verdance he/him Posted May 4 Posted May 4 Just now, NerdSandwich said: That... would creep me out too. I assume it's completely normal to be creeped out (but I am...an odd one). Don't look at me for advice (-1,000IQ socially) But yeah that sounds kinda creepy Okey i live with the fear that one day i will say something here and realize that it was incredibly rude and everyone will hate me but idk quran bot really weird
Shatter He/Him Posted May 4 Posted May 4 2 hours ago, Verdance said: quran bot really weird taln nuked it from orbit 2
Aeoryi she/her Posted May 4 Posted May 4 36 minutes ago, Shatter said: taln nuked it from orbit Real footage of what actually happens when bots get nuked: Spoiler 2
Usseewa Posted May 7 Posted May 7 Little update I guess So I got nice sleep, yippee. New med, might help. But... TW/CW SH Spoiler I've been getting worse in relation to self-harm, I think. I finally contacted a crisis hotline a few days ago, and I genuinely wanted help, but the next day and now, I don't really want help anymore. And I was on the verge of cutting myself a few minutes ago and my hands were shaking and... I feel like I'm going to do it, and I want to and don't want to get help or prevention or alternatives or anything. I just want to cut myself but I don't know, I also don't feel like myself anymore and it's honestly kind of scary and I feel lost. Last night I got really close also, there did end up being some blood actually. I just don't really know what to do because I wanted help but now I don't but I'm also scared. 1
Verdance he/him Posted May 7 Posted May 7 1 minute ago, Usseewa said: Little update I guess So I got nice sleep, yippee. New med, might help. But... TW/CW SH Hide contents I've been getting worse in relation to self-harm, I think. I finally contacted a crisis hotline a few days ago, and I genuinely wanted help, but the next day and now, I don't really want help anymore. And I was on the verge of cutting myself a few minutes ago and my hands were shaking and... I feel like I'm going to do it, and I want to and don't want to get help or prevention or alternatives or anything. I just want to cut myself but I don't know, I also don't feel like myself anymore and it's honestly kind of scary and I feel lost. Last night I got really close also, there did end up being some blood actually. I just don't really know what to do because I wanted help but now I don't but I'm also scared. *hugs* Hey. It’s going to be okay. Can you explain what’s going on?
Usseewa Posted May 7 Posted May 7 9 minutes ago, Verdance said: *hugs* Hey. It’s going to be okay. Can you explain what’s going on? Wdym I did explain I mean what questions you have Also whenever I'm in crisis it doesn't last that long so by the time I get help (if I do) then it's passed and I don't feel the same anymore but I know it will come back
Verdance he/him Posted May 7 Posted May 7 2 minutes ago, Usseewa said: Wdym I did explain I mean what questions you have Also whenever I'm in crisis it doesn't last that long so by the time I get help (if I do) then it's passed and I don't feel the same anymore but I know it will come back Why are you in crisis? If you don’t mimd me asking yeah i understand
NerdSandwich she/her Posted May 7 Posted May 7 (edited) I've felt the same way sometimes. A lot, actually. Just know that there are people who care about you. It took me a while to accept that because of my social standing, but know that there are people who care about you and are worried about you (not just on the Shard, I'm sure there are IRL too) I find it helps to talk to an IRL friend (bothering @ChipsAHoid :D). I also think that, if you're comfortable, talking to someone who has the experience to help you. (I was never brave enough to do that). I'm sorry you don't feel like yourself and that you have to go through this. Tbh I have no idea who I am. I just keep trying. *many hugs* Edited May 7 by NerdSandwich
Usseewa Posted May 7 Posted May 7 (edited) 47 minutes ago, Verdance said: Why are you in crisis? If you don’t mimd me asking yeah i understand Maybe crisis isn't the right term? I'm still figuring stuff out Idk I guess. It's just that I don't really feel good, I'm depressed as per usual, but also kinda overwhelmed. It's passed somewhat but still here. 19 minutes ago, NerdSandwich said: I've felt the same way sometimes. A lot, actually. Just know that there are people who care about you. It took me a while to accept that because of my social standing, but know that there are people who care about you and are worried about you (not just on the Shard, I'm sure there are IRL too) I find it helps to talk to an IRL friend (bothering @ChipsAHoid :D). I also think that, if you're comfortable, talking to someone who has the experience to help you. (I was never brave enough to do that). I'm sorry you don't feel like yourself and that you have to go through this. Tbh I have no idea who I am. I just keep trying. *many hugs* I've been considering finding someone to talk to. I spoke with my therapist last time about having self-harm thoughts and such, but.. I don't know if I'll be able to talk about basically having self-harmed. But there's someone(s) I can probably talk to.. I guess. Or a hotline again. Hugs to you as well edit: and I don't really know *why* I've been feeling bad and SH-ey and even possibly suicidal. I think part of it is the academic stress, coupled with my ADHD. I've also just been depressed years. Edited May 7 by Usseewa
Verdance he/him Posted May 7 Posted May 7 6 minutes ago, Usseewa said: Maybe crisis isn't the right term? I'm still figuring stuff out Idk I guess. It's just that I don't really feel good, I'm depressed as per usual, but also kinda overwhelmed. It's passed somewhat but still here. I've been considering finding someone to talk to. I spoke with my therapist last time about having self-harm thoughts and such, but.. I don't know if I'll be able to talk about basically having self-harmed. But there's someone(s) I can probably talk to.. I guess. Or a hotline again. Hugs to you as well edit: and I don't really know *why* I've been feeling bad and SH-ey and even possibly suicidal. I think part of it is the academic stress, coupled with my ADHD. I've also just been depressed years. When does the school year end? Im looking forward to getting out and finally getting that weight out of the back of my skull… so i can go work 10 hours a day at an ice cream shop
Usseewa Posted May 7 Posted May 7 1 hour ago, Verdance said: When does the school year end? Im looking forward to getting out and finally getting that weight out of the back of my skull… so i can go work 10 hours a day at an ice cream shop the end is approaching for sure of school im not gonna say when it will probably help..
Verdance he/him Posted May 7 Posted May 7 3 hours ago, Usseewa said: the end is approaching for sure of school im not gonna say when it will probably help.. Look forward to that actually had a mental breakdown and wrote a subpar short story to cope, will post it latet
Usseewa Posted May 8 Posted May 8 (edited) 2 hours ago, Verdance said: Look forward to that actually had a mental breakdown and wrote a subpar short story to cope, will post it latet I guess. Cool. SH kinda Spoiler I don't even know *why* I self-harm besides "wanting to" or liking it, idk. And what's the point of getting help, anyway? In the end it'll just be therapy, right? Which I already have. but if i don't know *why* then how do i explain it to someone without feeling... invalid? edit: I'm just so confused with life and with myself, I don't really know who I am and I don't know what I'm feeling but I know it's not good but I don't know if it's real or if the cause is valid edit: (idk spoiler weird) Spoiler i don't really feel like i can "claim" self-harm, which makes things more confusing for me. Edited May 8 by Usseewa
Aeoryi she/her Posted May 8 Posted May 8 I have a question for any "normal" (not struggling) people: what brings you happiness in your day?
Verdance he/him Posted May 8 Posted May 8 1 hour ago, Usseewa said: I guess. Cool. SH kinda Hide contents I don't even know *why* I self-harm besides "wanting to" or liking it, idk. And what's the point of getting help, anyway? In the end it'll just be therapy, right? Which I already have. but if i don't know *why* then how do i explain it to someone without feeling... invalid? edit: I'm just so confused with life and with myself, I don't really know who I am and I don't know what I'm feeling but I know it's not good but I don't know if it's real or if the cause is valid edit: (idk spoiler weird) Hide contents i don't really feel like i can "claim" self-harm, which makes things more confusing for me. If you made yourself bleed somewhat intentionally, thats self harm accidents dont count, and self harm doesn’t just apply to bleeding, but yeah. Rule of thumb
Usseewa Posted May 8 Posted May 8 6 minutes ago, Verdance said: If you made yourself bleed somewhat intentionally, thats self harm accidents dont count, and self harm doesn’t just apply to bleeding, but yeah. Rule of thumb I mean it's only bleed a littleee Spoiler i was... scared I think when i was gonna do... more
Aeoryi she/her Posted May 8 Posted May 8 9 minutes ago, Usseewa said: I mean it's only bleed a littleee Hide contents i was... scared I think when i was gonna do... more I'm worried about you, you know 1
Usseewa Posted May 8 Posted May 8 (edited) 20 minutes ago, Aeoryi said: I'm worried about you, you know mm.. i feel weird Spoiler I can still kind of feel the partial cuts why do they.. sting, kinda also I don't feel the urge to cut right now, but I probably will again sometime. But not at the moment. It doesn't feel good to think about. Idk. Edited May 8 by Usseewa
Verdance he/him Posted May 8 Posted May 8 (edited) 32 minutes ago, Usseewa said: mm.. i feel weird Hide contents I can still kind of feel the partial cuts why do they.. sting, kinda also I don't feel the urge to cut right now, but I probably will again sometime. But not at the moment. It doesn't feel good to think about. Idk. This is not okay and i don’t know what to do or say um logos brain says stinging cuts are bad and you should hand sanitizer them but if you’re bot in physical danger or majorly damaged do not hospital it is sooooo expensive and humiliating ethos brain says SH is bad and please dont do it pathos brain is paralyzed because this is scary im here for you… but please, for gods sake, you do understand what you just did, right? This is an incredibly serious thing and please dont do it again. Dont even think about it *hugs* Edited May 8 by Verdance
Aeoryi she/her Posted May 8 Posted May 8 31 minutes ago, Usseewa said: mm.. i feel weird Hide contents I can still kind of feel the partial cuts why do they.. sting, kinda also I don't feel the urge to cut right now, but I probably will again sometime. But not at the moment. It doesn't feel good to think about. Idk. I... don't know what to say though
#1 Taln Fan he/him Posted May 8 Posted May 8 10 hours ago, Usseewa said: I spoke with my therapist last time about having self-harm thoughts and such, but.. I don't know if I'll be able to talk about basically having self-harmed Please please actually tell your therapist things. I’ve been doing therapy-adjacent work with participants in my lab and it’s showing me how much further the recipient can get if they’re honest. 1) How can they help you if you don’t actually tell them the significant problems? 2) They’ve seen it dozens of times before and won’t judge you for it, even if they want you to stop. 3) They also won’t judge you for withholding the info previously, they know fully well how difficult it is to open up fully While telling the partial truth is a good start, you can’t get the full benefits of therapy without opening up all the way. And they can’t actually help you overcome the SH or give you strategies if they don’t know you’re doing it 1 hour ago, Verdance said: accidents dont count, and self harm doesn’t just apply to bleeding, but yeah. Rule of thumb This 100% 3 hours ago, Usseewa said: And what's the point of getting help, anyway? In the end it'll just be therapy, right? Which I already have. but if i don't know *why* then how do i explain it to someone without feeling... invalid? It's still therapy yes, but your therapist can actually specialize their help to adapt to the fact that you're SHing, which can make ain't important impact on how they help you. Technically it's "just therapy" if you just stare at your therapist in dead silence for an hour, but it doesn't mean you'll get anything out of it. Most people don't go to therapists because they know the why of everything. Part of the main job of therapists is to help you find that why, which is part of what they're trained to do. You don't have to explain, you can just tell them that you've been SH, and you can work through it together and figure it out. But it starts with opening up 2
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