Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[The Night Watcher]

2 minutes ago, BringerofShadows said:

Granted, but you don’t live forever to eat them all.

 

 

I wish for the weekend to last forever.

Granted, but one Saturday you drink 3 cases of beer and you never wake to see the following Saturday morning. 

I wish my professor didn't have an accent. Then maybe I could take notes. Or even understand what he's saying when he scolds me for not taking notes.

[Vogelsang he/him]

Granted, but now he has a long illustrious bright purple mullet, accompanied by a clashing puke green mustache.

I wish I could speak German fluently.

[Sherlock Holmes he/him]

Granted. You can now speak German, but you always have an itch in your right ear. 

I wish that people stopped caring about whether a person was straight or not.

[The Night Watcher]

1 hour ago, Sherlock Holmes said:

Granted. You can now speak German, but you always have an itch in your right ear. 

I wish that people stopped caring about whether a person was straight or not.

Granted, but something has to fill the empty hetero- hole. (That's not innuendo.) So now people care if you can grow a beard or not. First, it's in the media, then it's bullying in schools. Suddenly, beard bars start popping up all over the world, and the beardless are denied access. Bolstered by women and men forever trapped in pubescence, protests and rallies form, but, alas, the bearded regime crushes them, and with the enforced breeding — ahem bearding ahem — programs, beardless numbers begin to dwindle.

I wish I had better things to do with my life than write stupid beard puns in a forum of well-mannered, educated people.

[Winds Alight she/her]

Granted. Everyone else feels the urge to tell you stupid beard puns.

I wish for customers in retail to just ... be less stupid.

[Quantus he/him]

Granted.  They are all now insufferable know-it-all's

 

I wish for a relaxing vacation. 

[BringerofShadows she/her]

Granted. You get a relaxing vacation in Antarctica.

 

 

I wish to die a slow and painful death. Alone.

[TheGirlWhoLookedUp she/her]

Granted, you become an Elantrian, then a Hoed. Slowly and painfully. You get beheaded before Elantris is restored.

I wish I could sing well.

[Merlin]

Granted. You sing so well and so high it deafens you and mutes you the first time you try.

 

I wish for tasty food without maggots.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

Granted. Hope you like chull dung.

I wish for this week to be over...

[The Night Watcher]

2 hours ago, Shard of Thought said:

Granted. Hope you like chull dung.

I wish for this week to be over...

Granted. In 3 days.

I want to play Dragon Age. I wish I still had the motivation to wait the 4 minutes it takes to boot my spaceship-esque P.C.

[Kelsier'sGodComplex she/her]

Granted, but you also have motivation to stop playing the game. 

 

I wish for a pet tiger who is nice to everyone except people who are tryng to attack me. 

[The Night Watcher]

18 minutes ago, Kelsier'sGodComplex said:

Granted, but you also have motivation to stop playing the game. 

 

I wish for a pet tiger who is nice to everyone except people who are tryng to attack me. 

Sure, but your tiger is senile and often mistakes one person for another. Specifically your mother for your awful ex.

I wish for a golden egg.

 

[Kelsier'sGodComplex she/her]

Granted, it's golden because my tiger peed on it.

I wish for a ccredit card with unlimited amounts of money that I can spend however I want, and can't get stolen from me.

[Jetter he/him]

Granted, but you have to pay it all back down to zero every day.

 I wish to never be hungry again.

[StormblessedSurvivor he/him]

Granted, you are always thirsty.

I wish to have an infinite amount of Stormlight which I can use for the Surge of Gravitation.

[Merlin]

Granted. The only way you move around is floating 300 feet above ground.

 

I wish for school to end.

[The Night Watcher]

16 minutes ago, WannabeWorldhopper said:

Granted. The only way you move around is floating 300 feet above ground.

 

I wish for school to end.

Sure. Schools close down all over the world. Now we're faced with the issue of mass illiteracy. 

I wish my dog wasn't so cute. Then I could discipline him without feeling the wrath of his Bambi-eyed stare.

[Kelsier'sGodComplex she/her]

Granted, but because of the lack of knowledge, you become homeless.

I wish for unlimited knowledge and many means by which to share it with others.

[Jetter he/him]

 

17 hours ago, Kelsier'sGodComplex said:

I wish for unlimited knowledge and many means by which to share it with others.

Granted, you lose your body and become THE INTERNET!

 

I wish to always be alert and never tired again.

 

[The Night Watcher]

20 minutes ago, Jetter said:

 

Granted, you lose your body and become THE INTERNET!

 

I wish to always be alert and never tired again.

 

Granted. You are now a meth addict.

I wish I was tall.

[Kelsier'sGodComplex she/her]

Granted, but only your head grows taller.

I wish for unlimited health.

[Kidpen he/him]

Granted. Your life is converted to a video game type style, where every injury takes off health and you have a certain amount. However, you also now have to go and defeat the all powerful villain, who also has unlimited health. You've already entered the lair and can not escape. Have fun.

I wish everything was awesome.

[Zath he/him]

On 2/28/2019 at 3:29 PM, Kidpen said:

I wish everything was awesome.

Granted. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

Your bane is that this song is now stuck in your head FOREVER.
...Also, Lord Business now rules the world, but compared to the song-stuck-in-your-head thing that seems like a minor inconvenience.

 

I wish for infinite Batmans.

Edited March 29, 2019 by Zath
Grammar

[AonEne he/him]

Granted, but Zen kills you. On the bright side, before she kills you - and it's a painless, quick death - she looks you in the eye and tells you you're Batman.

I wish to have a spren bond with Kelsier, where he is my spren and I am his Radiant, and I gain two Surges of my choosing. (Last time, for those of you not around then, I just asked for a spren bond with Kelsier. I got a very nice story where I was the spren. It was hilarious, but not what I was trying to get. )