Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[Steeldancer he/him]

1 hour ago, Zennix said:

Granted. But you don't live long enough to the exam because you are murdered by Ghostblood assassins who mistook you for Jasnah. 

I wish to spank Cultivation. (Sorry guys. I just couldn't stop myself from posting that)

Is it even possible to spank a shard???

[Zennix he/him]

30 minutes ago, The Flash said:

Is it even possible to spank a shard???

That's why I need the Old Magic. 

[Mr. Staccato he/him]

4 hours ago, Zennix said:

Granted. But you don't live long enough to the exam because you are murdered by Ghostblood assassins who mistook you for Jasnah. 

I wish to spank Cultivation. (Sorry guys. I just couldn't stop myself from posting that)

So you spank Cultivation (I will leave the rest of the sordid details to you, my friend). However, be ready to get spanked in turn by the full force of an actual Shard.

Don't worry - I'll be there to sweep up the molecular dust of your remains when the entire ordeal is over.

In the mean time, I gift to you this alternate bane! You are now invisible, but only when no one is watching. (I honestly have no idea how that's going to work out...)

I wish for an inter-Cosmere musical.

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

46 minutes ago, Mr. Staccato said:

So you spank Cultivation (I will leave the rest of the sordid details to you, my friend). However, be ready to get spanked in turn by the full force of an actual Shard.

Don't worry - I'll be there to sweep up the molecular dust of your remains when the entire ordeal is over.

In the mean time, I gift to you this alternate bane! You are now invisible, but only when no one is watching. (I honestly have no idea how that's going to work out...)

I wish for an inter-Cosmere musical.

I too am impossible to see when nobody is looking at me.

[Krandacth]

3 hours ago, Mr. Staccato said:

You are now invisible, but only when no one is watching. (I honestly have no idea how that's going to work out...)

I imagine getting ready in the morning would be really difficult unless you happen to have a partner (or attendant) willing to just watch you for the entirety of your morning routine...

3 hours ago, Mr. Staccato said:

I wish for an inter-Cosmere musical.

Granted. It is as spectacular as you imagine, and has a running time of one week, despite Brandon saying it would be no more than 4 hours, intermission included. And no-one complains.

Unfortunately, while watching the musical you can't remember who the actors are, and outside of watching the musical you can't recognise that any given person was in the cast. Furthermore, if anyone mentions anything identifying about a cast member in the context of the musical, you hear rushing wind. Finally, though you remember the emotional effects of the musical perfectly, whenever you remember any song from it you hear it as if it were sung by Joe Pasquale.

I wish for @Drake Marshall to replace the nightwatcher, with all her power, for the next bane/boon. (So, he is responsible for the bane and boon for the person who reports mine and makes a wish.)

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

*grins evilly*

I admit I'm tempted to grant this wish and thus be the person who subsequently has to grant my own future wish. But I won't break things like that.

[Mr. Staccato he/him]

20 hours ago, Krandacth said:

I wish for @Drake Marshall to replace the nightwatcher, with all her power, for the next bane/boon. (So, he is responsible for the bane and boon for the person who reports mine and makes a wish.)

The nightwatcher temporarily steps down for @Drake Marshall. (Wohoo) (Oh wait. Does this mean he'll be the one to...? Oh storms.)

It seems a harmless boon (for you) so the nightwatcher decides on an innocuous bane for you. You get to temporarily replace Wyndle as Lift's cultivationspren for a day. Hurray!

I wish to know the true name of shshshshshshshsh and not be rendered mad in the process.

 

[Windrunner19]

12 hours ago, Mr. Staccato said:

The nightwatcher temporarily steps down for @Drake Marshall. (Wohoo) (Oh wait. Does this mean he'll be the one to...? Oh storms.)

It seems a harmless boon (for you) so the nightwatcher decides on an innocuous bane for you. You get to temporarily replace Wyndle as Lift's cultivationspren for a day. Hurray!

I wish to know the true name of shshshshshshshsh and not be rendered mad in the process.

 

You will learn the name of shshshshshshsh. However, you will lose your ability to speak.

I wish to be adopted by Brandon Sanderson and not die soon after

Edited April 5, 2017 by Windrunner19

[Djarskublar he/him]

Actually, we know her name. We found out during the Dark Talent tour. Her name is Evie (spelling unconfirmed, it's pronounced like the Pokemon eevee). I was there with the guy who got that answered, so can confirm.

Sorry to make your wish pointless 

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

23 hours ago, Mr. Staccato said:

The nightwatcher temporarily steps down for @Drake Marshall. (Wohoo) (Oh wait. Does this mean he'll be the one to...? Oh storms.)

It seems a harmless boon (for you) so the nightwatcher decides on an innocuous bane for you. You get to temporarily replace Wyndle as Lift's cultivationspren for a day. Hurray!

I wish to know the true name of shshshshshshshsh and not be rendered mad in the process.

The nightwatcher steps down. Drake momentarily ascends to the position of nightwatcher, grinning manically. Listening attentively for a wish...

Staccato looks on in horror as he realizes what he has done by granting this wish.

"I wish to know the true name of shshshshshshshsh and not be rendered mad in the process."

Aha! I know just the bane for you... "Grante--"

11 hours ago, Windrunner19 said:

You will learn the name of shshshshshshsh. However, you will lose your ability to speak.

I wish to be adopted by Brandon Sanderson and not die soon after

Suddenly, a stranger jumps forward in between Staccato and Drake-turned-nightwatcher and grants Staccato's wish.

What? What is this sorcery!

Ultimately, it doesn't matter. All this windrunner fellow has done is switched himself out with Staccato... He shall receive my bane, then. Muahahahahah...

"You're wish is granted. Brandon Sanderson somehow discovers how to use cosmere magic on earth. In an accident involving hemalurgy, he ends up turning a stranger into a hemalurgically deranged mutant. That stranger is you. In part because he feels responsible for you, and in part to cover it up, he ends up adopting you. It soon becomes evident that the process cannot be reversed without killing you. He is kind to you, but you aren't ever allowed to leave or go outside, being a hemalurgically deranged mutant and all. If you escaped you would probably be captured and dissected or something."

 

I wish for prescience. I'll also throw in the wish that I don't receive Taravangian's bane, if just because I'd prefer something original.

[Borio Singaldi he/him]

On 4/5/2017 at 9:49 PM, Drake Marshall said:

I wish for prescience. I'll also throw in the wish that I don't receive Taravangian's bane, if just because I'd prefer something original.

Um, aren't you currently the one doing the Nightwatcher's job right now? Does that mean you can just grant your own wishes and banes? Ah, whatever. Moving on.

Because you ascended briefly to the Nightwatcher's position, you are granted both wishes. You do not receive the same bane as King Taravangian, and you receive the gift of foreknowledge. Unfortunately, now the entire universe has turned against you and everything you can see in the future is something bad that will happen to you, your loved ones, and the world around you.

I wish to know the full story of the mysterious Trell.

Edited April 7, 2017 by Firerust the Terris Gyorn
I forgot to add my own wish.

[NamelessThirteenth]

I wish for better punctuation and spelling in my school assignments (that's kind of a divine ability for me), and my boon can be that... anything so long as I can still borrow books and read.

 

[Zennix he/him]

Granted. 

The only books you can read now are dictionaries. If you read any other type of book, you will forget everything when you drop the book. The only way to counter the boon is to always maintain physical contact with any book you want to retain your memory of reading it. 

(Clue: tie the book around a part of your body using a rope or adhesive tapes, or even some glue.)

That’s like creating a book metalmind (a Bookmind?). That's so cool, right? It's almost like a boon. 

I wish to own a Catquistor (a cat Inquisitor).  

Edited April 7, 2017 by Zennix

[Gizmosowner he/him]

6 hours ago, Zennix said:

Granted. 

The only books you can read now are dictionaries. If you read any other type of book, you will forget everything when you drop the book. The only way to counter the boon is to always maintain physical contact with any book you want to retain your memory of reading it. 

(Clue: tie the book around a part of your body using a rope or adhesive tapes, or even some glue.)

That’s like creating a book metalmind (a Bookmind?). That's so cool, right? It's almost like a boon. 

I wish to own a Catquistor (a cat Inquisitor).  

Granted however the catquisitor kills you in retaliation for impaling it's head with spikes. I wish for nothing.

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Granted. You're bane is that you receive something. Specifically a headache for the next 24 hours.

I wish for for some chouta, preferably without shells in it.

[Farnsworth]

On 4/5/2017 at 10:53 AM, Djarskublar said:

Actually, we know her name. We found out during the Dark Talent tour. Her name is Evie (spelling unconfirmed, it's pronounced like the Pokemon eevee). I was there with the guy who got that answered, so can confirm.

Sorry to make your wish pointless 

Presenting:

The amazing Evie Kholin!

[Brightness Enna she/her]

On 4/7/2017 at 7:12 PM, Drake Marshall said:

Granted. You're bane is that you receive something. Specifically a headache for the next 24 hours.

I wish for for some chouta, preferably without shells in it.

Granted. Yummy, yummy meat and gravy and tortilla-esque thing. 

However, you can never touch a piece of paper again without getting a papercut. The size of the cut is in direct relation to the size of the paper. Better avoid posters.

I wish for chocolate ice cream. mmm....

[Kplynch21 he/him]

You get chocolate ice cream, but Rock prepares it the same way he would for Sadeas.

 

I wish to break the 50 yard butterfly middle school record. (0.31 seconds off in my first meet of the year, granted with a relay start.)

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Hmmm... Granted. In exchange, you lose seven years of your life span.

I wish to know what happens when you try to burn metal with a hemalurgic charge in it.

[Zennix he/him]

Granted. You find out through personal experience that anyone who burns a hemalurgically charged metal will develop profuse,  constant and everlasting Diarrhea. 

(So, I understand why you are posting on the 17th Shard from your toilet.)

I wish to become a Returned who can convert pizza to Breaths. 

Edited April 21, 2017 by Zennix

[Brightness Enna she/her]

Granted.

Unfortunately, your Breath requirement jumps from one a week to five, and every two years, it doubles.

On the plus side, Domino's probably will give you frequent flyer miles, so there's that.

I wish for a free flight to anywhere every time I want one

[Borio Singaldi he/him]

12 minutes ago, Brightness Enna said:

I wish for a free flight to anywhere every time I want one

Granted. However, your vision has been altered so that now you see everything in a negative monochrome.

I wish for luck at school.

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

2 hours ago, Firerust the Terris Gyorn said:

Granted. However, your vision has been altered so that now you see everything in a negative monochrome.

I wish for luck at school.

Granted. All things random act in you're favor.

Unfortunately, very few things in the world are true random. Quantum physics tends to have some true random features, but nothing large-scale does really.

So... What does that look like? Quantum luck?

The only effect of this that you might notice is that the probabilities for radioactive decay near you are skewed. So, if you somehow came in contact with a large amount of a radioactive substance, it would, against all odds, not decay in your presence, and thus you and everyone else wouldn't get radiation poisoning. Which I guess is kind of a cool power.

But even then, you're radiation immunity only functions at school, since that is the only place your "luck" applies.

I suppose the other "true random" thing you might be able to notice is the location of an electron with respect to the atomic nucleus of an insulator... So insulators tend to be polarized in you're favor. Hm... I guess that means you also never get a static shock at your school anymore?

So. That is your wish granted. Scientifically.

Anyway, your bane is that you are now dyslexic. If by wishing for "luck in school" you hoped you would be getting better grades, that may have backfired...

 

I wish to no longer need sleep.

Edited April 11, 2017 by Drake Marshall

[Kplynch21 he/him]

9 hours ago, Drake Marshall said:

I wish to no longer need sleep.

Granted. You no longer need sleep, however you always have a longing want to sleep, and you sleep over 20 hours a day because you want to.

I wish that I could get the people sitting in front of me in class right now to shut up unless they are talking about Brandon Sanderson. (An ability to turn my hearing off would do just fine.)

[Jonathon]

On 4/11/2017 at 8:14 AM, Kplynch21 said:

I wish that I could get the people sitting in front of me in class right now to shut up unless they are talking about Brandon Sanderson. (An ability to turn my hearing off would do just fine.)

Granted, the people sitting in front of you stop talking, however for the rest of your life you will be haunted by their voices in your head (and they aren't talking about Brandon Sanderson). 

I wish for the gift of understanding