Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[Unintelligenius he/him]

Granted. You are unable to eat the SPAM.

I wish for some grilled pineapple.

[Through the living jeff he/him(straight)]

Granted. It’s in a burger.

I wish for the collectors razor crest lego set

[strmblsd he/him]

Granted one piece is missing and can't be replaced 

I wish to understand girls

[BlueWildRye he/him]

Granted. You can't hear your own thoughts.

I wish for preserved copies of all the books in the Library of Alexandria.

[Pineap-spider Pineapple/Spider]

Granted. No one will ever be able to read ancient Greek/ Egyptian/ Latin/ Whatever language the books are in 

I wish I could fly everywhere in my car 

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

Granted. I launch you and your car into the sky with a trebuchet so you can fly anywhere you want- once.

I wish for some chips and salsa.

[Lunamor she/her]

Granted. Tomatoes are now as poisonous as their cousins, nightshades.

I wish for a teddy bear.

[Pineap-spider Pineapple/Spider]

Granted. It requires a weekly sacrifice of a stuffed deer toy, or it will turn on you

i wish that my apples were never mushy

[BlueWildRye he/him]

Granted, but your Adam's Apple is mushy, whatever that implies.

I wish that I could beat Dark Link in Ocarina of Time.

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

Granted. Now you have to beat a dark version of me instead, and I am much harder to vanquish.

I wish for one of my job applications to be accepted.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

Granted. You now have to work that exact job in the same company for the rest of eternity.

I wish for inflation to stop.

[Pineap-spider Pineapple/Spider]

Granted. In fact, deflation is going to happen! Economic collapse galore!!!

I wish I will always call a coin flip correctly 

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

Granted. You go bald immediately.

I wish to be able to spend more time with my bf.

[LightRinger he/him]

Granted. Bf means boyfriend, best friend, beast friend, and burger fries, and you have to spend eternity with those four things circling you. 
 

I wish for my packages to arrive early. 

[strmblsd he/him]

Granted they arrived before you even lived where you live

I wish for me to feel better and wanted and have a place I fit in and to be ok and to be able to find the motivation to do stuff and... Yeah... For my life to be fixed 

[The Stick]

Granted. However, all these struggles are put onto you or a friend's favorite pet.

I wish for knowledge.

[AltonicKeys he/him]

Granted. You now know all the possible results of rolling a six-sided die.

I wish for a fancy hat.

[Pineap-spider Pineapple/Spider]

Granted, you no longer have pinky toes and ring fingers

I wish for a stop sign that wasn't acquired illegally. 

[aetherbound he/him]

Granted, it was created illegally.

I wish for all llamas to become nonexistent.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

Granted. The population of mosquitos was just multiplied by a hundred.

I wish for a hot dog.

[strmblsd he/him]

Granted you get a dog that's on fire

I wish for a group of friends who had the same interests and have read Sanderson 

[LightRinger he/him]

Granted. They’re called Sharders, and most of them you’ll never meet in person. 
 

I wish for $20

[BlueWildRye he/him]

Granted. You stole them from a sweet old lady and have to live with the guilt forever.

Spoiler

The lady's name being Edema.

I wish for space on my computer.

[AltonicKeys he/him]

Granted. Your computer can't handle the sheer size of our ever-expanding universe, and explodes. (Now there is even more space)

I wish for a box with a box with a box with a box with a rock and two quarters

[strmblsd he/him]

Granted the box is made out of really thin paper.. 

I wish for my anxiety and stress and everything to go away..(I had a dream where something that is completely just my biggest fear happened and it woke me up at least an hour before I usually would)