Kinnsayyy

Explain a Plot Badly

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Shadows of Self just slayed me.

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Well, the problem with Stormlight is that it requires like 3 or 4 explanations per book, 'cause plotlines. I'll see what I can do. 

Stormlight:

Spoiler

Kaladin: A depressed man with an imaginary friend teaches a group of slaves to fight, and then has them commit treason.  

Shallan: A girl tries to steal an ancient artifact from her mentor, nearly dies, and is taught strange powers by her mentor  

Dalinar: An old warlord starts to trust his hallucinations over reality, and ends up getting most of his army slaughtered  

Dunno if those made sense, but it's a fun idea!

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@Nashan'ElinI liked yours, but I'm giving it my own shot.

WoK:

Spoiler

Guy with daddy issues makes a bunch of misfits into a rag tag group, because he pees glowing liquid.

WoR:

Spoiler

Girl who murdered both her mother and father falls in love while slumming it with a group of assassins.

 

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WoR

Spoiler

When sticks don't listen. And crustaceans don't listen. And horses. And annoying cousins. (Cousins could relate to either Elhokar or the Lopen)

 

Edited by ryshadium90
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1 hour ago, Nashan'Elin said:

Well, the problem with Stormlight is that it requires like 3 or 4 explanations per book, 'cause plotlines. I'll see what I can do. 

Stormlight:

  Hide contents

Kaladin: A depressed man with an imaginary friend teaches a group of slaves to fight, and then has them commit treason.  

Shallan: A girl tries to steal an ancient artifact from her mentor, nearly dies, and is taught strange powers by her mentor  

Dalinar: An old warlord starts to trust his hallucinations over reality, and ends up getting most of his army slaughtered  

Dunno if those made sense, but it's a fun idea!

For Shallan, I'd say it more like this(after a few key points from WoR):

Spoiler

A girl kills both of her parents, then judges her mentor, who she's stealing from, for killing criminals.

I like your other two though.

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Harry Potter:

Spoiler

A young boy learns magic and struggles with his teenage hormones.(There are also bad people)

A New Hope:

Spoiler

A young boy whines about his power converters, rescues Princess Peach Leia, then blows up a big ball.

The Empire Strikes Back:

Spoiler

The young boy gets rekt and his friend freezes up when trying to flirt.

Return of the Jedi:

Spoiler

He's not the Chosen One, his dad is. (There's also a huge slug and a metal bikini)

The Phantom Menace:

Spoiler

The devil comes for the souls of George Lucas and friends.

Attack of the Clones:

Spoiler

"How do you feel about sand?" "It SUCKS!!"

Revenge of the Sith:

Spoiler

Little Annie tries a flip and gets wasted by Ben.

The Force Awakens:

Spoiler

Let's rewatch A New Hope, shall we?

Rogue One:

Spoiler

Hey, guys, look! Suicide Squad is awesome now!

I know most of these are films, but couldn't resist. :)

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Not Cosmere, but Brandon so:

Rithmatist:

Spoiler

A young boy wishes to be an artist, and gets a second chance at life... only to have a picture literally run away from him. Snape is using a policeman guy in order to turn all of the students into pictures. In order to stop Snape, the boy enters a really intense art competition.

Steel heart:

Spoiler

Superman and King Midas have a baby, who gives our main character the tragic backstory all heroes need. He goes on to discover that we have nothing to fear but fear itself.

Firefight:

Spoiler

Our heroes go to Sea World, where Professer X finally loses it. Fortunately Jean/the Pheonix shows up and saves the day. David gets a grammar lesson.

Calamity:

Spoiler

An all-powerful being realizes that everything really is his fault, and goes away. Time and space is bent in order to allow our hero to bond with an alternate version of his father, whose son is conveniently dead. A touching moment follows.

 

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Yall had me dying. But if we're doing other books too.. 

Kingkiller:

Spoiler

A little boys parents are killed by snow white and the 7 dwarfs so he decides to go to college and sing

Powder Mage:

Spoiler

A guy snorts c̶o̶c̶a̶i̶n̶e̶ gunpowder and shoots people

Harry Potter:

Spoiler

An old man has a crush on a little  boy so he gets him to drop out of school and kill himself

Star Wars:

Spoiler

A little boy is the chosen one. Wait nvm he isn't. Wait.. Nvm he is. 

Lorien Legacies:

Spoiler

A bunch of numbers kill this little girl's pawpaw

Mortal Instruments:

Spoiler

A girl starts dating her brother, who turns out to not be her brother, but then starts dating her actual brother. Who turns out to be a demon, so she goes back to the other guy, who turns out to be an angel. 

Hunger Games:

Spoiler

The female green arrow falls in love with the boy who throw bread at her

Game of Thrones:

Spoiler

A dwarf gets imprisoned, married, divorced, his nose cut off, imprisoned again, then shoot his dad while he's on the toilet. 

:D

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Lord of the Rings:

Spoiler

A short man-child is given a stolen ring from his uncle who then abandons him. Man-child proceeds to journey to home of a floating eye and throws the floating eye's ring into the oven.

 

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9 minutes ago, Jedal said:

Lord of the Rings:

  Reveal hidden contents

A short man-child is given a stolen ring from his uncle who then abandons him. Man-child proceeds to journey to home of a floating eye and throws the floating eye's ring into the oven.

 

Nice! How about this?

Spoiler

A game of finder's keeper's that ends in a violent trip to the return desk of a jewelry store.

 

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I shall expand on The Wheel of Time

The Eye of the World:

Spoiler

Doesn't this remind you of The Fellowship of the Ring?

The Great Hunt:

Spoiler

Do you hear that? It's the Call of Gondor- oh wait, it's just that horn.

The Dragon Reborn:

Spoiler

Whosoever holdeth this sword shall possess the power of al'Thor.

The Shadow Rising:

Spoiler

Just lie down, kick back, and enjoy the sweat tents!

The Fires of Heaven:

Spoiler

I think I'll kill off their mentor now. (Hoid killed Asmodean)

Lord of Chaos:

Spoiler

And behold, the most epic battle since the Battle of the Five Armies has arrived.

A Crown of Swords:

Spoiler

Wasn't Mat enjoying the thrill of being a girl's plaything a while ago?

The Path of Daggers:

Spoiler

Guys, help me! Robert Jordan is falling asleep!

Winter's Heart:

Spoiler

Boy, it's freaking cold!.........But not when Rand is involved! WHOOO!:wub:

Crossroads of Twilight:

Spoiler

ZZZZZZZZZZ*politics*ZZZZZZZ*where's rand?*ZZZZZZZZ

Knife of Dreams:

Spoiler

Not to worry, guys. Mr. Jordan is up again.

The Gathering Storm:

Spoiler

The death of Adrin was terrifying! (You cried when you read the foreword. Admit it)

Towers of Midnight:

Spoiler

Wow, Mat Cauthon is a regular Norse god!

A Memory of Light:

Spoiler

IT'S OVER! IT'S FINALLY OVER!.......I think I'm gonna cry now. *Sniff*

New Spring:

Spoiler

Doesn't blushing count as revealing emotions??

You're welcome.

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18 minutes ago, Captains Domon said:

I shall expand on The Wheel of Time

The Eye of the World:

  Reveal hidden contents

Doesn't this remind you of The Fellowship of the Ring?

The Great Hunt:

  Reveal hidden contents

Do you hear that? It's the Call of Gondor- oh wait, it's just that horn.

The Dragon Reborn:

  Reveal hidden contents

Whosoever holdeth this sword shall possess the power of al'Thor.

The Shadow Rising:

  Reveal hidden contents

Just lie down, kick back, and enjoy the sweat tents!

The Fires of Heaven:

  Reveal hidden contents

I think I'll kill off their mentor now. (Hoid killed Asmodean)

Lord of Chaos:

  Reveal hidden contents

And behold, the most epic battle since the Battle of the Five Armies has arrived.

A Crown of Swords:

  Reveal hidden contents

Wasn't Mat enjoying the thrill of being a girl's plaything a while ago?

The Path of Daggers:

  Reveal hidden contents

Guys, help me! Robert Jordan is falling asleep!

Winter's Heart:

  Reveal hidden contents

Boy, it's freaking cold!.........But not when Rand is involved! WHOOO!:wub:

Crossroads of Twilight:

  Reveal hidden contents

ZZZZZZZZZZ*politics*ZZZZZZZ*where's rand?*ZZZZZZZZ

Knife of Dreams:

  Reveal hidden contents

Not to worry, guys. Mr. Jordan is up again.

The Gathering Storm:

  Reveal hidden contents

The death of Adrin was terrifying! (You cried when you read the foreword. Admit it)

Towers of Midnight:

  Reveal hidden contents

Wow, Mat Cauthon is a regular Norse god!

A Memory of Light:

  Reveal hidden contents

IT'S OVER! IT'S FINALLY OVER!.......I think I'm gonna cry now. *Sniff*

New Spring:

  Reveal hidden contents

Doesn't blushing count as revealing emotions??

You're welcome.

Impressive. You pretty much summed up whatever I remember from the series (except the ending, but whoo, spoilers. Weird stuff there, am I right?)

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52 minutes ago, Faceless Mist-Wraith said:

Final Empire:

  Reveal hidden contents

A man convinces a girl involved in a small time gang to commit even worse crimes by having her drink a vial of mysterious liquid.

Well of Ascension:

  Reveal hidden contents

A treasure hunt where everyone is looking in the wrong place, and hundreds of people die because of it.

Hero of Ages:

  Reveal hidden contents

A man desperately tries to become an atheist, before discovering he's the Chosen One destined to become God because a prophecy used a gender neutral pronoun.

WoK:

  Reveal hidden contents

The book that made everyone hate Sadeas.

WoR:

  Reveal hidden contents

1088 pages of engaging battles, stunning revelations, new mysteries, and compelling character arcs, and the words that had the greatest impact on the 17th shard community were "I am a stick'.

 

WoR: So true.

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Stormlight Archive  

Spoiler

An emo teenage boy, a da Vinci wannabe cheerleader and a very buff old guy try to save the world from (Skynet) Odium. 

Mistborn 

Spoiler

A bunch of people who drink vodka from test tubes fight God. 

 

Edited by Zennix
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Cosmere

Spoiler

God was killed, his murderers became little Gods and went on to mess the universe. 

Stormlight Archive

Spoiler

A group of people need to go crazy to gain superpowers and save the world

Secret History

Spoiler

The book that if it didn't exist would have sent fans into nervous breakdowns after last page of BoM

I dont think I've ever used my upvotes so quickly as today:P

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Shallan's arc:

Spoiler

A girl kills her parents and then is really upset when her family has no money, so she joins the organization that stole from her family.

 

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Kingkiller

Spoiler

A guy spend two days talking about how awesome he used to be.

WoA

Spoiler

A guy loses his kingdom, his wife forge an empire for him

Hero of the ages

Spoiler

A girl breathe a lot of fog and becomes a God.

 

Edited by Idealistic Mistborn
grammar
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