Edema Rue

Hello yes, welcome to the fine arts hall, where you can hear Christmas music blasting loudly in august, feel free to stay as long as you’d like. 

Today happened and it was lovely. ish. Parts of it were lovely, and we're going to remember those parts because those are the parts I want to think about and you don't get a choice.

We had an opening drama social today, and it was insanely fun. Seniors who plan things for everyone else are amazing. We played that one game, Captain's Calling, and got crazy competitive. There were a lot of bruised knees and egos. Partly because one of the things he'd say was "captain's daughter", where you found the person closest to you and picked them up, and then dropped them when he said something else. I won. I beat everyone. I have a massive bruise and some cuts but I don't care, it was worth it.

We also played a game called spotlight tag, where basically they turned off all the lights except 2 spotlights, and the goal was to get from the back of the house to the stage without being caught by a spotlight. Since there was lots of army crawling, this led to more injuries but that's ok, they had ice.

OH AND I MOWED MY LAWN!! That shouldn't be a big deal! But I honestly think mowing the lawn is one of the most relaxing things to do. We have an acre, and a tiny lil push mower, and we've been out of town so the grass was loooooong. It was a lot of fun  

And I washed bikes!

And I got all registered to go to the shakespeare festival in October which'll be insane.

Aaaaaand that's my day. How are you guys doing?

This isn’t really relevant to any of you, but my brain needs to write so you get this.

Today is the day. 

I have been working for today for nearly a year.

I’ve given blood.

There’s a tossup for whether I’ve given more sweat or more tears. 

But it’s too late to train, now.

Too late to put in the work that should’ve started last year.

Because today, we ride.

I have my first race of the season, today. We only have 4 races, 5 if you go to state, and I intend to go to state. Problem is, for my category, JVB girls, only the top 25 go to state. And I’m starting 44th. That means I need to pass at the very least 19 people, and maintain it, too.

And I don’t think I can do it.

This has been my goal for a year now, and I’ve worked specifically for today.

And I’m terrified. I didn’t sleep nearly enough last night. 

A part of me really, truly, wants to just ride and enjoy coming in dead last. I’ve done it before, I can do it again. 

But today, I’m choosing to believe. I’m choosing to believe that I’ve worked hard enough and that if I push, I can do it. 

And that’s why I’m so scared. Because it hurts more to have hope. Hope is like a water-filled cactus: it can save you, but it’s going to hurt every time you fail and even when you succeed. 

I’m terrified. 

But today, that’s ok.

Today, I’m gonna ride my bike and I’m gonna beat some people.

(when you all get an emotional, depressed SU sometime tonight or tomorrow, you’ll know why).

Happy birthday dude!!