AltonicKeys

Granted. I add this to my ever-growing reading list. I don't read very much though. See you in a few years. I wish for a better attention span specifically for reading

A few thoughts about it: I think for an opening scene, it introduces a lot of terms that I have a hard time digesting. Especially war-related phrases. Like 'lockbowmen', or 'the enemy horse (singular)'. I do eventually understand what they mean, but it does take me a moment to employ my critical thinking skills, and kinda takes me out of the moment. Might just be a me-thing though and I'm illiterate. The scene of Samhain entering the tent to meditate was kinda abrupt. He's in the middle of a war, receiving reports about stuff, and then in a couple of sentences he's sitting down in a tent thinking about his uncle. I guess it's supposed to be sudden, supposed to raise the question of 'what kinda general just drops everything to meditate', but it did seem a little out of place. Good piece of characterization for him though, a very calm fellow. The bit at the end about Samhain's embarrassment really made me laugh. I love that he's not just some crazed military guy who has a mind palace, but also makes foolish moves like that. I'll get around to reading the rest of the world building later, because good lord, what a wall of text that is. Looks very promising though!

Granted. You now have a duck that is always following you. You can see and communicate with it, but it's always out of frame and refuses to talk back to you. Sometimes it will make gobbling noises but when you turn around it's already gone. It get's old really quick. I wish for a good book that I can read WITHOUT worrying about plot holes or inconsistencies or nonsensical British author vocabulary

Granted. It's so accurate, that it's exactly as it appears in-game. It has two chords. They do not sound good. This does not help you. I wish to be able to do anything I want whenever I want instead of procrastinating for a month

hehe Love people going on holy wars and then being wrong its in my top ten favorite tropes I think in that case, I'd go with a central pool, since that has more political leverage and such, and can really help add to that spiral of chaos. Scattered limited pools would kinda give the crazed man less impact and less threat rating imo. That central pool gives him a more tangible end goal. Even if he doesn't want it, people can think that's what he's aiming for. I dunno just some ideas about how that'd work

Mother of all omelettes, Jack! These people need to wake up about who they are! No more closeted trans people! We will get them to realize this before noon! This poorly addresses my carnal desire for the guy standing to my left. 'Carnal' is up for interpretation.

Alright, I have this 2x4 arrangement of squares. How many are there in total, and if you divided them in half, how many would there be? Also I strapped a bomb on you. You have 4 words, if you exceed that limit, it blows up. There are exactly nine million and two rats. How will this help at all?

You get a really cool guitar. So cool in fact, that whenever you play it, it starts overheating from your playing, and bursts in flame. This paradoxically creates a cool hot guitar. The universe does not understand oxymoronic irony and thus collapses. Good thing you have not strummed it yet. You hold a world-ending bomb in your hands. I wish I can eat nectarines without juice getting everywhere.

Granted. You cut yourself with the Shard. The glass Shard. The sharp Shard of broken glass that I capitalized and then gave to you. You do not gain any cool powers and just get infected instead. It's not a cool infection, it just hurts. Good job. I wish Harvard University wants me really bad

Granted. You sleep behind the car and get exhausted instead... I wish for all of Sun Tzu's wisdom

First off that's a really neat concept, the pools of starlight especially. Personally, I think the first one, nightly starfalls, would be really cool. It can give everyone limited access to it, instead of one group unlimited access. It can give rise to an occupation of people that can try to predict and chase the pools and harvest it before anyone else can get to it, and later sell it. This can create multiple starlight companies and a power struggle between them. This way, you still get that conflict, and they can even start exporting or trading the starlight to places that don't have access to starlight for whatever reason. But now it's up to you whether you want several regional companies, or one central monopoly that spans the kingdoms. So the second one, a central infinite pool, would give a little backstory and lore, but I think the first one can give more conflict and action. Totally up to you though. Do you plan on posting any kind of snippet or sneak peek? I'm really interested in this system, and I'd love to see where it heads, whichever direction you choose.

I love this premise! Like Lord Stormer, I'm also interested in the local flora/fauna. How do they survive? Did they adapt to the Shattering or did it all just work out? Can plants and animals be Crystalblooded too, and use the Galeshards similarly (or in a completely different way) to humans? And when you say the world was shattered, is that the whole planet or just a chunk? Is there a planetary core at all? If not, how does the atmosphere stay in place? Between the layers, I assume there's some kind of fog or something that prevents them from seeing each other. Unless it's magical, and the sunlight can't reach them properly due to crystal shenanigans? Not trying to be critical, I'm just really curious. But it's your story, if you don't want to reveal too much then that's cool too

Yeah that's what I was thinking. It's just a higher skill curve to overcome, but in the end you'll just be back to doing normal incremental workouts. And I completely forgot about the existence of space and astronauts. I thought 1G to 1.2G would be kinda bone crushing (because my sense of weight is way off), but there's over 600 people who went through five times that transition when coming back to earth. I guess it wouldn't be too huge of a difference then huh, if you're just increasing everything's weight by a fifth. But what do I know, I've never been to space.

The start is always the hardest part for me, back when I did creative writing... Cool to hear that though! Always love that 'aha' moment where everything falls into place.

So what I'm getting is that the detour will go through the town where people are "forming new fountains?" A little odd to go through a construction zone I guess, but I bet they'll be some pretty cool fountains! That would be great if they weren't pointed directly at my eye. Pop off though

Please meet my friend, Iwan Tyorm Uhnee! The ski mask is because they're insecure about their appearance, but I'm sure there's just a perfectly fine, non-threatening face under there. They're staying with us for a few weeks because their physique bears striking resemblance to the bank robber this morning. We can't have people get the wrong idea until the criminal is caught! Here, let's give them a tour of our house so they know where to find the bathroom, kitchen, vault, bed, etc. Hey do you have your bank information on you? The mold? The mold that is actively causing your problem? The mold?

I think sure, everything would feel a bit heavier and you'd have a harder time standing and stuff. But also, this can just be done with, like, heavier weights? Adjusting to Sel would take the same amount of effort as adjusting to wearing a backpack full of bricks everywhere you go. Sure you wouldn't get the full experience of everything being heavier, but the workout routine probably wouldn't be much different? It'd just be like someone beginning to work out start with a 50 pound dumbbell instead of like a 20 pound one. So theoretically just working out with weighted clothes and making any equipment heavier should work just fine. Besides, someone from a planet with 1.0 gravity going to one with 1.2 would probably have all their blood forced to their feet and pass out mid-workout because their heart isn't used to working so hard to supply the brain. I dunno.

No, see, it's really quite simple. I train these ravens to track them, and report back to me. If they do anything bad, I send all 628 ravens after them to drop rocks on them and otherwise pester them. Nothing harmful. Well of course I'll give it to you! You just have to hand over the rat. Or the rooster. Or the alligator. Really anything from your entourage of animals will do.

Do we know if they are different sizes, or just different distances from the ground, like different orbits? Is it stated how different they are?

For the Allomantic duralumin bit, I think it's kinda iffy. Its stated purpose is to enhance and burst the current metal(s) being burned by the same allomancer. But at the same time, WOBs about nicrosil burning and duralumin with surges. So while Sanderson says that it's possible, and you can use it, at the same time he doesn't elaborate on exactly how. We don't see duralumin used on anything but other A-metals, and the same goes for A-Nicrosil. Even if this would 'work,' I feel like you'd still get that discounted attribute and power loss from the speed. F-Nicrosil, however... That might have some potential. Though it's not explained, not even understood by the users, the general gist of it is that you can store investiture. Coppermind states someone storing it would be storing their ability to use investiture. The example used is that a Feruchemist storing their Feruchemy abilities would lose their powers, and someone else tapping the metalmind would become a temporary full Feruchemist and be able to fill metalminds. So. Say you have a full Nicrosilmind and a full Pewtermind. The Nicrosilmind is full of your Pewter ferring powers. You tap Nicrosil and double it, so you're twice as 'able' to use pewter. You tap pewter, at a doubled rate. How much strength would you get out of it? Will you get 4 times a normal rate, since you're double-tapping it twice over? Would you get 2 times strength, but without any power loss, since you're twice as 'able'? or What about F-Aluminum, and you tap your Identity as a pewter ferring at a doubled rate? (Would you lose some of that identity due to power loss over time?) I get that I am asking more questions than I am answering, but I think it's relevant to bring up other Investiture-related shenanigans.

Hey is that the device that immediately explodes upon someone asking you why you have it? That's wild. Hey wouldn't it be crazy if- Nanomachines, son! And also normal sized machines too but they aren't relevant. And we don't talk about megamachines.

First off never trust ChatGPT because this was really neat! I like the specific way the story is told. Always love a good rebellion story. In regards to "is it too long," there's not really a length limit on prologues, but I feel like for these folklore/legend style openers, generally if you can tell it as a short story around a campfire or something, then it's good. So you're fine! I don't know the full lore yet, but I think this can cover whatever the reader might want to know later. Thank you for sharing, I'd love to see whatever comes next!

I for one love this. I'm always a fan of culinary folklore. There's stories galore of ancient dishes that I love hearing about. Your interpretations of things feel fresh and new, it's a fun break from traditional "They're weak because I said so" stuff. LOVE the idea of etiquette and caste coming into play, really adds depth and a human aspect. Are there any sneak-peeks or snippets available to read yet? I'm really interested in this premise, and I'm excited to see where it goes!

Woah! This is really in-depth! I really like the premise, and how deep the world's history goes. I'm always a big sucker for space age fiction, and an even bigger one for really thought-out lore. I like how you set specific word goals for yourself. Can I ask, do you plan on releasing this eventually? Are you thinking of a physical publication?