AltonicKeys

Szeth-son-son-Vallano, Truthless of Shinovar, rode a shark into the palace on the day he was to kill a king. The storm dropped it off earlier and it's been flopping around the whole day. It suffocated an hour ago but he's been using lashings (the magic kind) to puppet it around. It made him feel pretty cool while killing a king.

Szeth-son-son-Vallano, Truthless of Shinovar, killed a king, and all he got was this stupid white t-shirt

Granted. It is quite relaxed. If you step into it it will get really uncomfortable. It won't share any of its good mood with you. But whatever, net happiness in the world and all that. I wish people would stop being butt faces to minimum wage workers (me)

damn, I was wondering about the silence. Stay strong soldier! Don't feel pressured to do anything too much. Love the work so far though!

Granted. You get a New France horn. Due to colonization, it's been renamed to the Quebec Horn. It's an antique horn, a buisine. One of those long medieval horns. It sucks. I wish I have the willpower to get out of bed earlier

Granted! No one likes talking to you anymore because you're always right (or at least stubborn enough to make the other person wrong). You've got a promising future as a lawyer though. I wish my phone can load stuff in a shorter time than 30 seconds

"Have you guys listened to Tame Impala? How many people do you think is in that band? 3? 5 maybe? Well did you know it's just one guy? Isn't that wild, it's just one guy making all that music?" -Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Grandpa grandpa look! I got the Golden Ticket to go to the Chocolate Factory! Some guy on the street offered me 19 quadrillion dollars for it, he showed me the cash and all, but I turned him down! Aren't you proud? You can finally go back to the factory! hey why is your breathing getting shallower? Yeah I don't know, it might have been my fault??

This has been REALLY bothering me ever since I laid my eyes on that book. And I have a huge problem with the fact that Shallan discovers the use of puns and rhyming words. This is kind of a vent post where i complain about an inconsistency. Sanderson mentioned that everything that we read is translated from the local language to English. (I have some other questions about the illustrations and the mix of Women's Script and English, and sometimes Steel Alphabet but that's a discussion for a later date.) Proper names and unique terms are written in the native tongue (Roshar, Navani, spren) but common words are usually translated. This is a cosmere-wide thing, seen when worldhoppers talk to locals. So the reason that the in-world poems, Ketek, work so well is because they don't use rhymes/rhythm like traditional English poems do. Instead, they're built off the symmetry of words, which are translated. I've always loved this concept, it uses that idea of translation to make a poem without rhyming. It's why I loved the fact that there has never really been any examples of rhyming. Now. I don't have the specific passages because I don't have the book, but Shallan tries using puns in a couple of places. I (shamefully) giggled at a few of them yes. But these puns. You have me believe that Shallan uses words that not only rhyme well enough for the joke to work, but they also mean something that makes sense in the context of the joke, and makes sense in the context of the scene? This whole pun just so happens to work in Alethi/Veden/Thaylen, just as well as it would in English? If I said, "Why won't crabs lend you money? Because they're shell-fish!" in one language, and then translated it into another language, it would sound like "Because they're crustaceans!" And the joke is lost because that sounds nothing like selfish. But if I didn't make a punchline that relies on rhymes, like "Because they're penny-pinchers!" Then that would work, since you can just turn that into "Because they're peso-pinchers!" And it would still be considered a bad pun, just not one that needs a rhyme to work!! That's all she needed to do!! Just don't rhyme!!! I can vaguely remember a similar problem in TotES, where Hoid was complaining about "barbarian rhymes" too. But it's okay because it's Hoid we're talking about, there's probably a plausible explanation. Maybe Hoid and the Sorceress learnt English and used it for her curses. One rhyme makes a coincidence. Two rhymes make a pattern. Three rhymes will make me angry. I dunno. Does anyone have any explanation that makes thematic sense? Does anyone have any explanation that will make me less upset? Can someone just come up with a lie to make me feel better?

Nah it's cool I genuinely have no idea what this is... I'll put it on da reading list and check it out... eventually.

fruit basket.? like. Blueberries and strawberries, the occasional grapes? I mean who isn't a fan of fruit so

maybe. i dunno. don't look at me. The man with the Sandwich hurriedly runs off into the horizon, and the Storm High rolls back up to the hill. "hooo-whee Yeah these words are accepted. Good job. Uh." The cloud then blows back down the horizon, clearing the skies again, and the man with the Sandwich runs back to the hill, panting and out of breath. He takes a moment to breathe, and stands up straight with the Sandwich like nothing happened. "What'd I miss what just happened"

"WAIT... this looks glorious. What is it? i get it. its amazing. Ill come back here later" -Sun Tzu, Art of War

Clouds roll in. Not a small puff of water vapor anymore, but a huge rolling storm, high above everyone's heads. They should come up with a name for that. A Storm High. yes. The clouds rumble satisfyingly at this new name they came up with. The Sandwich grumbles unsatisfyingly at the arrival of the storm. Or it would, if it didn't take away its ability to grumble. It stops its pausing and slapping, falling silent. It 'stands up', back straightened like a lightning rod. The storm notices this. The storm acknowledges this. Once again, the cloud's flashes of lightning and thunder become rhythmical, and transition into words. Loud, booming, thundering words, each one making The Sandwich shrink back slightly. "Hi. How are we doing." The Sandwich deflates. A sigh? "Oh. yeah. Right. You can't talk anymore. hah. Anyways." The storms darken above The Sandwich. "You ready to go? The Sandwich isn't. But it stands tall. "Very well. I would tell you to 'say your goodbyes' but that's not really a thing you can do right now. Well uh. Cya." With that, a bolt of lightning blasted from the storm, a huge beam of light that lingers longer than usual. The Sandwich is completely enveloped in the energy, the spot of impact glowing a bright white, before fading. After everyone's eyes adjust, The Sandwich sits unmoving in a familiar spot. On a hill. The Storm High rolls away, now without a target. It rumbles off under the horizon, where a figure appears in its place. A man, swarmed with bees, covered in frost, walks up to The Sandwich and grabs it. Thank you everyone for participating, I had fun roleplaying a piece of food. That will be the most activity you will see from me for another month or so. I will continue my routine lurking now. Thank you for three years of tBftS!

An angry cloud, small flashes of thunder and all, briefly forms above ThatOneWorldhopper's head, prepared to smite him down for the breaking of rules. The cloud reads a little more of the posts, and shakes its head. Ace's actions briefly gives the cloud somewhere to be, but the 'spitting it out' part makes the cloud sigh. If only there was something to smite. Something small. Something that was only recently given sentience. hm... The Sandwich's proverbial hairs stand up. Something is about to happen. It shakes Ace's saliva off and returns to its prior destination. The Sandwich begins flopping around, before settling into one spot. It starts jumping around, creating a rhythm of beats and slaps. Beat. Beat. A slap. Beat. Beat. Beat. Beat. Beat. Beat. Beat. A slap. A slap. Beat. A slap. A slap. A slap. Beat. A slap. Beat. Beat. A slap. Then it repeats. Its flopping gets progressively more and more anxious.

yes because I am The Sandwich. The Sandwich is literally my child and I gave it sentience so I could puppeteer it around until tonight, from then yall can throw it around for another three years The Sandwich looks around (using its bread pores for sight) and realizes that this is not where it wants to be. While YouCantHaveMySandwich isn't looking, The Sandwich inches outside, a mad dash of tiny flops. There's a certain destination it wants to get to, and it WILL get there, by any means nessessary.

The Sandwich remembers it has somewhere to be, and awkwardly flops out of Ace's hands. It flexes its bread in a way similar to a caterpillar, crawling off to an unknown direction.

The Sandwich is mildly concerned with all this growth. It clears its throat, which sends huge rumbles in the surrounding cosmic area. "Guys we could probably solve world hunger with the current rate I'm going at, and eventually universal hungeeoouuughhhh noooo." The Sandwich rotates "upwards", to look at a huge nebula cloud that just manifested above it. It's an amazing sight, dazzling colors and all, but its arrival heralds something that The Sandwich dreads. "Not agaiiiiin, I just got speech a few days ago! You can't take it away like tha-" A bolt of lightning, though probably more accurately, a long shower of comet dust, shot out of the nebula to strike The planetary Sandwich. A huge puff of stardust coated its orbit. And once that had faded, The Sandwich lay silent. No warbling, no flapping of its bread to make a voice, just a Sandwich. However, a smattering of remaining stardust gathered up in a cloud and blew its way into the eyes of @.YouCantHaveMySandwich. It seems like it still has some sort of willpower to exercise, before that too disappears tomorrow. (Slight Ninja addition) The nebula's lightning has had some effect on The Sandwich, making it grow smaller and smaller upon its reentry into the Earth. It fell into Soulbinder's hands, transfered into Unintelligenius', and tried flopping around in his grip.

The Sandwich squirms. It tries to convince everyone to stop fighting and enjoy the view.

The Sandwich enjoys a few seconds of nostalgia and peace on the hill before it's whisked away. It feels like it should have a say in this matter, especially right now. "Heeey you know I don't think I would taste very good right now, me being alive and all, and It would probably feel weird if you ate what is basically a big mouth. I mean I don't think I'd hurt that much since I'm just bread and meat and some other miscellaneous fillings, not like I have nerves, but it'd sure be a weird experience for the both of uuuuus?" Without its limbs, it just tried using its mouth to flop around, to little success.

The Sandwich lies on the ground. "Thank you for saving m- oh! Okay bye." It sits in contemplation for a moment, pondering its apparent status as a cannibal. It's now a Cannibal Sandwich, and it does not like this new label and its implications. It's not like it has anything better to do-- Or really, anything else to do. It's had its limbs for one day and lost them the next. Soon it won't be able to speak again. Such is the cruel nature of the frozen bee god. "The ice giveth and the ice taketh away..."