The Aspiring Archivist
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Officially back from the mountains now! Sorry for my inactivity!
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Hello, welcome back!
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hi guys
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It's okay not to be positive. I think it's best to be honest, if you can.
*hugs*
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Am I the only one who flexes my toes when I'm writing something and get really excited?
Is...is that just me?
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Sometimes that happens when I'm excited in general. I'll also just go really tense involuntarily, or like reflexively bounce up and down. It's odd.
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Okie I'm still not supposed to be here but I suspect that now that I've breached the line, Imma be posting status updates now and then
I wrote a short story! It's not perfect at all and I don't know how I feel about it but I enjoyed writing it a whole lot, so I'm putting it here. If you plagarize (whateverthestupidspellingGAH), I will find you
Also, I award you, @Immortal Platypus, three nice comic-style bombs and a stick of dynamite. And some marshmallows
that won't steal your soul! Have fun! And no, I have no regrets on this point.SpoilerIn an age long forgotten, there hung a castle in the sky, suspended by stars. The palace used to be a beacon of hope, little more than a concept to bring to the world ideals, to give the world order and to show men honor when they looked to the skies. This palace was secured to the clouds by thirty strings, delicate as spiderweb, but hundreds of times as strong. Those gifted with the powers of darkness were chosen to watch over half of these strings, and those with light the other half, to keep the castle in the sky and preserve this shred of hope that the world could eventually become perfect.
Anciently, these two factions did not trust each other. Half stars reborn, half monsters given a second chance (so the legends said), one faction wished to control the others, though even they themselves never gave this desire a name, instead calling it suspicion or mistrust due to the nature of the darklings. Those who held the night in their hands were rarely powerful enough to fight back, instead retreating into mountains or fighting wars of ideas. These wars were ongoing, even at the time that these thirty guardians were chosen and given their wings, the better to protect and thicken their strings.
Each string was bonded to the heart of the guardian. As they sought to become better, and in turn to better their worlds through the ideals of the stars, the strings would strengthen. This, the spirits decided, was a perfect way. Surely those respected with such a sacred duty would never forget what they stood for. After all, half of them came from the stars, and the other half had in a previous life been pure enough to wish to change their very nature. Their task was the perfect way to do it. How could they not appreciate that?
This worked perfectly for exactly ten years. On the anniversary of the day the system had been implemented, a lightling called Elisa sought out the spirits and presented an argument. Creatures of darkness, she claimed, should not be trusted with such a task. Their very abilities marked them as evil by nature, something difficult to overcome even for the best of their kind. The spirits listened patiently but painfully as she listed the reasons she saw her people as deserving of the birthright, and the darklings as little more than peasants. Redeemed prisoners. As she spoke, her string began to melt, little by little, drop by drop. Gradually, the sustaining energy of the stars withdrew from the darkness she’d found in her heart.
She paused for breath, and the string snapped.
The spirits shuffled and muttered. There was more than one cry of despair. What went wrong, they asked each other? Where did she go wrong? What happened?
They forgot about Elisa, who, feeling the loss, flew to see her string. It had snapped, having become far thinner than it should have been. Aghast, she tried to fix it. “I was only doing what was right,” she cried to the stars. “You have chosen my people! You have given us your gifts, not the darklings. Have you forgotten that you favor us?”
She should not have spoken. Her wings, bestowed also of the stars, began to melt away. The stars did not wish her death, but they could not stop it. Her ideas were flawed. They were wrong, and they could not give their power unto one who had allowed her mind to become clouded with the ideas of men. If only she had understood. But, for Elisa, it was too late.
The spirits called the other 29 together, determined to find out what went wrong. They told the others what had happened to Elisa, and asked how they could prevent this in the future. Haedin, a darkling, stepped forward. “We need to realize, he said, that my people is just as good as their people, chosen of the stars or not.”
“But you are not chosen,” Tembri insisted, a lightling. “You are not chosen because you are not good enough. You are monsters. You must beg on your knees for a chance at redemption. We are fallen gods, here only to gather more power. Naturally, we are the more capable.”
“And Elisa? She was among the capable?”
“Elisa was a fool,” Tembri snapped. “She grew weak. The ideals state that our groups are equal and deserve our opportunities. Those are, however, ideals. Only rusty ideals. Her crime is speaking a truth that contradicts what the stars would have us believe.”
Haedin stiffened while Tembri went on.
“The stars are weak,” he said. “They are too merciful to those who don’t deserve it.”
Tembri’s string snapped. “He stumbled back, shocked. What did you do, Haedin?”
Haedin’s eyes flashed with anger. “I did nothing, you fool. You did it yourself. You called the stars weak. You contradicted the ideals. The truth.”
From there, the conference only escalated, and the influence of the spirits was not enough to calm thirty fiery angels. Some were angry because they were set equal with darklings. Darklings, they claimed, had no moral code. Darklings were monsters reborn. Darklings were abominations. They should all be killed. These arguments only escalated, and several darklings threw in retorts of their own. Lightlings were useless little pieces of divinity who had never done anything wrong in their lives, as if the darkling blood on their hands was nothing but mud from mere interactions with them. Lightlings destroyed everything they touched. Lightlings, full of privilege, full of superiority, made them sick. Lightlings were the ones that should be expunged.
Snap. Snap. Snap.
But nobody seemed to care anymore. Now it was about winning. Winning, whether the castle crashed or not. Strings melted and snapped. Wings dripped onto the floor, coating it in a thin layer of wax. Most of the darklings stayed out of the confrontation, watching the proceedings with wide eyes, trying to calm everybody. But their strings alone were not enough. The castle creaked, tilted, stretched the remaining strings thin…
…thin enough to snap.
The palace, symbol of ideals, fell. The spirits escaped. The twenty nine were not so lucky. The impact with the mountaintop killed most of them instantly, even the few who hadn’t noticed over their own shouting, not until the palace had flipped and crashed into the ground.
The towers were not crushed. The palace was built in the shape of a smooth trident, and the spires stabbed into the ground, fixing the palace and the island beneath it deep into the earth.
For years, people within eyeshot and earshot of the mountain where it fell spoke stories in hushed, nervous voices of the huge landmass that had fallen there. They knew nothing of the palace. It was no longer visible.
A relic.
A relic of ideals and broken promises.
A relic of the past, of an angry people turned fiery and the passive not strong enough to hold up the world.
Ideals had fallen. Ideals had broken. And yet the stars had hope.
Perfection, after all, is not for man. These people had listened too much to the skeptics. In magnanimously descending to work with the others, they showed the world how good they could really be. But only out of pride.
This was not the way to return to the stars. This was the way to return to what they were before, back to waiting and learning until they were ready to try again.
The stars and the spirits spoke of the events. They found the inferrations made by these two nations quite interesting. Why would they send remorseful monsters to the earth with darkness when that was the very thing they were attempting to forsake? Why would they send stars, who already knew how to use light, to earth as lightlings? There was no progression there. No, the monsters were the lightlings, given light to learn to use it so they could come to the skies. The stars were sent with darkness, to learn to harness it so they could become something more. Light and dark together. That was progression.
No, the conquerors had been wrong.
No, the victims had been wrong.
Perhaps, with the truth, they would be able to find their ideals.
Then again, maybe truth, like ideals, would famously thud to the earth, the minders of it disillusioned and annoyed.
—KLH
Oh, and also, I originally wrote this without quotations just for fun and added them for clarity. so yeah
LOVE YALL MISS YALL
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Hello again!
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Drowning
The chain around my heart
Is dragging me under
It wrenches me into
The black depths
I cannot tell
If the water is in me
Or outside of my head.
I am drowning.
The water closes over my head,
Blocking out all the light.
It is cold, dark, wet, and lonely.
There is no hope
For those who are drowning.
I will soon be consumed
By the dark waters.
They will clog my throat,
I will stop breathing.
I will sleep for eternity
Under the waves
That slowly rock my carcass.
Back and forth.
Unfeeling and
Uncaring.
Will I finally find peace,
Down there, in the depths?
Do those who drowned
Ever get to rest?
Or are they in ceaseless
Turmoil
Way down
Deep.
I am drowning.
None can save me.
~ Stick 1-3-24
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I wrote a poem awhile back... so, here.
(spoiler for length and cause it's kinda sad/depressing...)
SpoilerAbandoned
Lost
Forgotten
Alone
Did I ever make a difference?
Do people care?
Does God see?
Why
Why do they wonder?
What is it like to be me?
The lies
So believable
Where are you?
When these feelings take over?
When it takes so much effort just to keep breathing?
When the fear is crippling?
When I am falling apart?
Body,
Mind,
Spirit,
Toppling over.
The wind is strong.
So strong.
I can feel it,
Tipping me toward decisions.
Regrets.
Why do we live?
For purpose?
What is that purpose?
Oh God, where are you?
In my hour of need?
In a matter of life and death?
My life?
My death?
When I need you!
With every fiber of my being
I know, somewhere inside,
That you hold me.
But
Why can I not feel those hands now?
Rest.
What is rest?
Why am I a stranger to so much?
Do my words mean anything?
I toss them up!
Toward you!
Do you hear?
They ricochet endlessly off the ceiling.
Bounce back into my face.
Why? Oh Lord?
Why me?
Did you choose,
When I was made,
To give me these burdens?
So heavy.
I strain under the weight of them,
Crying out for rest!
For help!
All the time,
Wondering.
Wondering
Why,
Wondering when
This load will be lifted
If it even will.
Ever.
I feel hopeless.
Abandoned
Dead inside
Wanting the deadness to consume me
What stops me?
From ending it all?
Facing eternity?
Killing my dreams
My plans
My hope
Myself
Empty.
Why am I here?
You say you have plans for me?
Prove it!
I bleed!
In spirit
In mind
In body
Do you see?
Do you see the suffering?
Why is this called life?
Is there any hope at all?
I am dying!
And yet
You seem to do nothing!
Why?
Lord.
I fall.
Have fallen.
Will continue to fall.
Forever.
Will I be caught?
In anything other than this storm?
Emotions
Pain
Heartache
They swirl inside of me,
Beating against my very soul
Among them all,
The question remains,
Unanswered
Abandoned
Forgotten
Why?
You made us;
So fragile!
We break.
Hurt.
Die.
And you!
Up where it is safe!
Look on and do nothing!?
Why are we like this?
What is the plan?
Why have you hidden from us?
I have dreams.
Nightmares
I am haunted
Creatures lurk
Skitter
Creep
Through the shadows in my soul
There is no escape
Death lives here
In my heart
But
I am still breathing
If only
If only I wasn’t-
These are the thoughts
The thoughts killing me-
Or am I killing myself?
Everything is dark
Cold
Scary
Why?
What kind of life is this?
Would it be better not to live at all?
Who understands?
Not my family!
Not my friends!
Not you!
Tell me, God!
Where are you?
When Hell has come to earth?
When I want to-
Feel as if I need to-
Die
Escape
Fade away
Forever
Would anyone really notice?
If I was gone-
One instant-
One decision-
One jump-
One stab-
One life-
Gone
What if?
Who would care?
Who would weep?
If I
Was
Gone.
Forever.
Can I continue to bear this?
Like I have for so long?
If I just collapse?
The strain is too much!
I am weak!
Alone.
You say that you are always with me?
Then where?
Where are you?!
What must I do to feel your presence?
Empty.
Alone
Abandoned.
~ Stick
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Tired:
(Somewhat depressing)
QuoteI’m tired
tired of time spent
trying to fit in
even in my own family
tired of working
late into the night
only to know
and be told
it isn’t good enough
I’m tired of hating
myself and what I say
I’m tired of wasting
time instead of
getting stuff done
I’m tired of being
told that I just need to
work harder
give more
when I’ve given it all
I’m tired of depression
dragging me down
I’m tired of people
saying I control my emotions
I’m so very, very tired
I’m tired of being tired
I should sleep at some point.
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Well, even if you just want to talk about it or about anything, we're here.
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Tired:
(Somewhat depressing)
QuoteI’m tired
tired of time spent
trying to fit in
even in my own family
tired of working
late into the night
only to know
and be told
it isn’t good enough
I’m tired of hating
myself and what I say
I’m tired of wasting
time instead of
getting stuff done
I’m tired of being
told that I just need to
work harder
give more
when I’ve given it all
I’m tired of depression
dragging me down
I’m tired of people
saying I control my emotions
I’m so very, very tired
I’m tired of being tired
I should sleep at some point.
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You know we're here if you ever need anything.
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Hi!
I started Warbreaker today!
I'm excited!
How is everyone?
I'm trying to get some poems written soon, I promise, But someone might need to stab me with a certain stick....
anyways...
this is short...
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*mlid poke*
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So I’ve noticed something recently.
I think Duolingo is stalking me.
Evidence:
Spoiler
More evidence:
Spoiler
And as extra evidence:
SpoilerIt gave me a story today about a person named Eddy.
So…give it up. Which one of you is secretly Duo in a slug costume?
-_^
AND WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO KNOW YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ME?
…
@Ancient Elantrian is it you
SpoilerAnother thing I’ve noticed. There isn’t enough laughter or smiles or togetherness in this world. And…well…maybe I’m a drop in a bucket, but if that drop is into y’all’s buckets…
Then I hope I can bring some laughter to your aching hearts <33
SpoilerAlso I’m genuinely afraid of Duolingo at this point someone help me
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So I’ve noticed something recently.
I think Duolingo is stalking me.
Evidence:
Spoiler
More evidence:
Spoiler
And as extra evidence:
SpoilerIt gave me a story today about a person named Eddy.
So…give it up. Which one of you is secretly Duo in a slug costume?
-_^
AND WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO KNOW YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ME?
…
@Ancient Elantrian is it you
SpoilerAnother thing I’ve noticed. There isn’t enough laughter or smiles or togetherness in this world. And…well…maybe I’m a drop in a bucket, but if that drop is into y’all’s buckets…
Then I hope I can bring some laughter to your aching hearts <33
SpoilerAlso I’m genuinely afraid of Duolingo at this point someone help me
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Uh...I don't know how that happened...
Somehow I posted two more times when I wasn't even on the shard
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So I’ve noticed something recently.
I think Duolingo is stalking me.
Evidence:
Spoiler
More evidence:
Spoiler
And as extra evidence:
SpoilerIt gave me a story today about a person named Eddy.
So…give it up. Which one of you is secretly Duo in a slug costume?
-_^
AND WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO KNOW YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ME?
…
@Ancient Elantrian is it you
SpoilerAnother thing I’ve noticed. There isn’t enough laughter or smiles or togetherness in this world. And…well…maybe I’m a drop in a bucket, but if that drop is into y’all’s buckets…
Then I hope I can bring some laughter to your aching hearts <33
SpoilerAlso I’m genuinely afraid of Duolingo at this point someone help me
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Finnish or be finished
Dutch or the crutch
Italian or the battalion
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Love your profile picture!! I'm actually singing Not About Angels from The Fault in Our Stars for my vocal lessons
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So I’ve noticed something recently.
I think Duolingo is stalking me.
Evidence:
Spoiler
More evidence:
Spoiler
And as extra evidence:
SpoilerIt gave me a story today about a person named Eddy.
So…give it up. Which one of you is secretly Duo in a slug costume?
-_^
AND WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO KNOW YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ME?
…
@Ancient Elantrian is it you
SpoilerAnother thing I’ve noticed. There isn’t enough laughter or smiles or togetherness in this world. And…well…maybe I’m a drop in a bucket, but if that drop is into y’all’s buckets…
Then I hope I can bring some laughter to your aching hearts <33
SpoilerAlso I’m genuinely afraid of Duolingo at this point someone help me
-
Finnish or be finished
Dutch or the crutch
Italian or the battalion
-
-
So I’ve noticed something recently.
I think Duolingo is stalking me.
Evidence:
Spoiler
More evidence:
Spoiler
And as extra evidence:
SpoilerIt gave me a story today about a person named Eddy.
So…give it up. Which one of you is secretly Duo in a slug costume?
-_^
AND WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO KNOW YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ME?
…
@Ancient Elantrian is it you
SpoilerAnother thing I’ve noticed. There isn’t enough laughter or smiles or togetherness in this world. And…well…maybe I’m a drop in a bucket, but if that drop is into y’all’s buckets…
Then I hope I can bring some laughter to your aching hearts <33
SpoilerAlso I’m genuinely afraid of Duolingo at this point someone help me
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Spanish or vanish
French or the trench
Japanese or your knees
SpoilerYou're more than just a drop
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Oh gosh I'm REALLY not supposed to be here... so this isn't me coming back permanently, this is me sneaking on to wish you all happy 2024 because I love y'all and miss y'all all the scudding time.
You guys have been such an amazing part of my life. I'd say you helped define me. So many ideas were born from roleplaying on here, and I feel like I understand people better now.
And, gild it, y'all are just such great people. I'm so excited to become reacquainted with all of you guys, and newly acquainted with those I don't know. I miss this corner of the digital world.
I'd give all of you the world if I could (see This Is A New Year by A Great Big World for the reference).
If there is ever anything I can do for you, you know how to reach me. Wizzy can get us in touch (shout out to Wiz: thanks so much for giving me messages, you're an absolute saint).
Sorry this is short and poorly written. It's past midnight and I just spent all my brainpower on a really cool magic system that kept making my head spin.
BEWARE THE EXPLODING MARSHMALLOWS. THEY ARE COMING FOR YOUR SOULLLLL. *evil laugh*
-Haly :)
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Hey! Happy 2024 you guys
*clears throat to set the scene*
12 hours ago (11:22ish PM CST), half my family was gathered in our living room. I say half because my little brothers were in the basement on the xBox, my little sister was god knows where (until it was time for the countdown, which we missed anyway because she couldn’t figure out how to work the TV
), and my older brother was out with a friend. So… less than half. Me and my parents and our two cats, one of whom was snuggled in my lap, sleeping, were gathered in the living room. Lol.
Anyway…
I was thinking about all the cool (and not-so-cool) things I got to do this past year! A few of them are:
Our family had a crazy cool summer vacation this year, and while that was during some of my major struggles with depression and anxiety, it was an incredible experience! We saw, experienced, and learned so many new things.
My family left the Mormon church, and I tried coffee (which has become rather a staple in my weekly life, seeing as how I’m basically an insomniac at this point), which I guess is a positive? It kind of uprooted everything (not the coffee, leaving the church lol) and was quite possibly a major stressor on my mental health. Personally, though, I prefer having Sundays to just spend time with family, work on myself, watch an episode of the Chosen, or whatever we choose to do! I hope reading this didn’t make anyone uncomfortable
I got to have a lead in my first ever musical and I unfortunately fell in love with my co-star (haha who auditioned with his girlfriend but I got the part instead—it was super awkward but ykw it’s fine), so you can imagine how that went. Fun experience, though! It’s the first time I’ve ever been spun around by a guy before lol.
I rediscovered Sleeping At Last, Lauren Spencer-Smith, Ed Sheeran, Lewis Capaldi, Sia, Billie Eilish, and discovered The Crane Wives, Ethan Gander, (Aw shoot I forgot his name wtc) uhhhhhh… he’s the Australian guy who wrote I GUESS IM IN LOVE and Chicken Tendies, and Fleurie, all of which are now among my favorite music artists.
I had a major struggle with depression and anxiety, and it eventually lead to self-harm and almost worse, but my parents and friends (especially those here on the shard) helped pull me out of that, and now I have experience that helps me empathize with/help others who struggle with similar things. I see that as a positive. I’ve also gained different perspectives that a lot of people my age don’t have yet—which is a bit lonely sometimes but mostly enlightening. I’m grateful for that.
There are so many other things that happened— I finished my show choir season undefeated and moved on to a new show choir group (comp season is coming up yall
), I saw major improvement in my art, singing, writing, and socializing skills, as well as myself as a person. I grew closer with current friends and drifted away from others, which is okay, because that’s part of life. I met new people who are just so incredible and so much fun to be around. Thank you all for being such amazing people!
I don’t technically have any resolutions this year, as I never get them done, but I do have some basic goals. They include:
-Getting a job
-Working out
-Continuing to improve my current skills
-Finding love??
-Writing a rough draft of my godforsaken novel
-Upholding a 4.0 GPA for the rest of the school year
and there are more, but those are kinda the main ones. Do y’all have any resolutions/goals? And if so good luck lol because goals can be fricking hard to stick with!
anyway, I hope all y’all are having an amazing new year, and if you ever need emotional/mental support, shoot me a message! I’m always ready to listen. Thanks for being such a wonderful community, and happy new year!!!
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SpoilerSpoilerSpoilerSpoiler
I haven't been arrested before, either. It's just a funny
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Hey! Happy 2024 you guys
*clears throat to set the scene*
12 hours ago (11:22ish PM CST), half my family was gathered in our living room. I say half because my little brothers were in the basement on the xBox, my little sister was god knows where (until it was time for the countdown, which we missed anyway because she couldn’t figure out how to work the TV
), and my older brother was out with a friend. So… less than half. Me and my parents and our two cats, one of whom was snuggled in my lap, sleeping, were gathered in the living room. Lol.
Anyway…
I was thinking about all the cool (and not-so-cool) things I got to do this past year! A few of them are:
Our family had a crazy cool summer vacation this year, and while that was during some of my major struggles with depression and anxiety, it was an incredible experience! We saw, experienced, and learned so many new things.
My family left the Mormon church, and I tried coffee (which has become rather a staple in my weekly life, seeing as how I’m basically an insomniac at this point), which I guess is a positive? It kind of uprooted everything (not the coffee, leaving the church lol) and was quite possibly a major stressor on my mental health. Personally, though, I prefer having Sundays to just spend time with family, work on myself, watch an episode of the Chosen, or whatever we choose to do! I hope reading this didn’t make anyone uncomfortable
I got to have a lead in my first ever musical and I unfortunately fell in love with my co-star (haha who auditioned with his girlfriend but I got the part instead—it was super awkward but ykw it’s fine), so you can imagine how that went. Fun experience, though! It’s the first time I’ve ever been spun around by a guy before lol.
I rediscovered Sleeping At Last, Lauren Spencer-Smith, Ed Sheeran, Lewis Capaldi, Sia, Billie Eilish, and discovered The Crane Wives, Ethan Gander, (Aw shoot I forgot his name wtc) uhhhhhh… he’s the Australian guy who wrote I GUESS IM IN LOVE and Chicken Tendies, and Fleurie, all of which are now among my favorite music artists.
I had a major struggle with depression and anxiety, and it eventually lead to self-harm and almost worse, but my parents and friends (especially those here on the shard) helped pull me out of that, and now I have experience that helps me empathize with/help others who struggle with similar things. I see that as a positive. I’ve also gained different perspectives that a lot of people my age don’t have yet—which is a bit lonely sometimes but mostly enlightening. I’m grateful for that.
There are so many other things that happened— I finished my show choir season undefeated and moved on to a new show choir group (comp season is coming up yall
), I saw major improvement in my art, singing, writing, and socializing skills, as well as myself as a person. I grew closer with current friends and drifted away from others, which is okay, because that’s part of life. I met new people who are just so incredible and so much fun to be around. Thank you all for being such amazing people!
I don’t technically have any resolutions this year, as I never get them done, but I do have some basic goals. They include:
-Getting a job
-Working out
-Continuing to improve my current skills
-Finding love??
-Writing a rough draft of my godforsaken novel
-Upholding a 4.0 GPA for the rest of the school year
and there are more, but those are kinda the main ones. Do y’all have any resolutions/goals? And if so good luck lol because goals can be fricking hard to stick with!
anyway, I hope all y’all are having an amazing new year, and if you ever need emotional/mental support, shoot me a message! I’m always ready to listen. Thanks for being such a wonderful community, and happy new year!!!
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Happy New Year! I really hope this one goes great for you.
SpoilerMy New Year's Resolution is to not get arrested. So far, so good lol
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Is anyone here by chance an expert on Toy Story?
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Yeah, it definitely sounds like it probably has a lot of interesting depth to it.
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Is anyone here by chance an expert on Toy Story?
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Yay! Finally my inordinate time on YouTube amounts to something
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Is anyone here by chance an expert on Toy Story?
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Yay, did I pass? lol
I absorb a lot of tangential knowledge of a bunch of topics, I probably saw a video related to Toy Story years ago and kept that little tidbit stored away.
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Is anyone here by chance an expert on Toy Story?
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I imagine it depended based on which movie. Toy story 1 was one of the first major films using 3d computer animation. The first characters where just posable models without really any underlying musculature, which made toys a good choice as the main subjects.
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Is anyone here by chance an expert on Toy Story?
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Um... depends on how intricate
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Is anyone here by chance an expert on Toy Story?
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I don't know about an expert, but I've seen the movies
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