Zephrun’s Imperium

I'm back with another Mistborn themed status update. (Can you tell I've been rereading the greatest trilogy ever written?) I wrote this.  Yes, I ship Lerati. Yes, you should too. Enjoy; I had a good time crafting this short piece. 

"Leras."
The misty god stopped in place, bracing himself. It was now, the moment he'd been dreading for two thousand years. "Ati..." He closed his eyes, turning his head to the floor, a hand coming to rest on his shoulder. 
"You look terrible."
Leras stiffened. He had been expecting censure from his old partner, but the gentleness was somehow worse. "You say that as though you had nothing to do with it," he snapped, meeting Ati's eyes. 
Another thousand years couldn't have possibly prepared him for that sight. 
Red haired and almost as short as Leras himself, Ati wore robes of black and gold. Too many memories... too many memories of that face. Leras had to turn away again, lest they overwhelm him. 
"It was your choice to lock me away and spread yourself so thin. You brought this upon yourself."
Fists clenched. "You speak of choice, but what else was I to do? You would destroy all that we worked for!"
"Endings are inevit-"
"Don't recite your speech to me, I know your justifications quite well." Leras folded his arm, scowling. They'd had this conversation a million times over, what was it worth? Nothing. He awaited Ati's retort. 
"And you? Given your way, you would see this world at a standstill, held in one moment forever. Life is only beautiful because it ends. Things that don't change might as well be dead. We want the same thing, really."
"Neither of us can convince the other, Ati. I've given up trying to persuade you, you would be wise to do the same."
Ati sighed. "I just thought," he said, "I would give you one more chance. I don't want to kill you, Leras."
"I know..." 
"For what it may be worth, I am... sorry." 
Ati tried to take Leras's hand, but Leras pulled his hand away, tears beginning to burn in his eyes. "Leave," he whispered. And Ati left.

A follow up to my previous status update (because I cannot stop thinking about this):

Two points. First: despite Kelsier (ostensibly) being the hot one, it’s always Marsh being drawn without a shirt. Although I suppose sexualizing Kelsier is like sexualizing Jesus, in some capacity… 

Point two: Okay, so y’all know the iconic fight between Vin and all the Inquisitors in Luthadel where all the Inquisitors are shirtless, just because? Well I propose that it was not just because. Y’all know Ruin had to coordinate that! What a drama queen. Just to stick it to Leras, like, “my servants are hotter than yours.” 

A PSA by Star

Listen, y’all.

I know artists like to draw sexy characters. I’m an artist too, I do it all the time. Muscles are fun! But people? 

KELSIER AND MARSH ARE DESCRIBED AS LANKY. 

Not ripped. Not jacked. Not swole. Not buff. Lanky. Do I really have to spell it out? 

adjective, lank·i·er, lank·i·est.

1. ungracefully thin and rawboned; bony; gaunt: a very tall and lanky man

I just devoured a 500 page book - The Lost Metal tee hee hee - in two days. That may not sound impressive to some of you, but guys? I haven’t read that much in ages. This is a huge triumph. Look out boys, I’m gonna be rereading Era One again!!! 

Four years ago today, 13 year old me decided to join the Shard. And boy howdy, if that wasn't the best darn decision I ever made.

In years passed, I've written up a post a few days before my Shardiversary, but I decided against that this year. Think of this as an unedited video of sorts. I gotta say, 2022 was probably the hardest year of my entire life. My depression and anxiety have been worse than ever, I've lost some of my closest friends, I've been to the ER twice, I've renounced my previous religion, and I burned myself out on art so badly that I haven't drawn anything in three months. That's not to say it's all been bad - I made huge progress on my writing, I got a new dog, I went on a choir trip to Chicago, I learned how to do calligraphy, and I made all state choir - but it's been hard.

And yet... this last week, something changed. I can only describe it as a realization that the way I've been treating myself is not sustainable. This year, I am committed to handling myself kindly. To me, that means starting to do yoga again, listening to more music, journaling, spending time with friends, and paying attention to what I need. It's about time I let myself be happy. I deserve it. 

I really just want to thank everyone for great memories and support. I cannot overstate how much joy has come from being a member of this site. I may not be nearly as active as I once was, but my younger self owes her happiness to the friends and stories she made here. 

If you're reading this, go have some chocolate and listen to your favorite song. Happy new year. 

Guess who just bought The Lost Metal?! 

And I also bought a blue leather purse, which makes me happy. Lord knows I need more things that make me happy right now. 

I just had the greatest dream about Mistborn that involved Kelsier, and breakdancing, and Walmart and Cheetos, and trampolines, and very large boats, and large scale musicals, and references to drag queens. What’s funny is that it actually started out very dark an and then just turned into Kelsier VS the government and Christianity. That’s something I can get behind. 

Hi, all,

Not sure how often any of you guys think of me, but I like to think I at least matter somewhat around here, so I guess I should say something. I'm not very eloquent right now, unfortunately - haven't been for the last month for whatever reason - but I'm going to try to express what's appropriate.

I was just discharged from the ER. Another brush with suicide unfortunately. But I am still here. 

For the last month, I’ve slowly been sinking into the depths of my own mental health. There are some things I’ve realized about myself that have gone unnoticed for years and there are things that I cling to for dear life that it’s about time I let go of. I've missed so much school that I've had to drop two classes and start doing things online. It's been very strange not being the kid who doesn't need any help and understands everything. 

I guess the biggest thing for me is that I need to stop pretending. It’s okay to not be okay; we’ve heard that a million times but I’ve never internalized it. I've really been pushing people away recently and let my anger get the best of me... for anyone that I've hurt, I'm sorry. I'm an angry person, yeah, but that's no excuse. I've been pushing people away when I should be holding on to them for dear life. 

That's all I really have to say... thanks for everything, everyone.  

Thinking about a song I sang for an honors choir in 5th grade. There's a reason these lyrics have stayed with me all of eight years.

The water is wide, 
I cannot cross o'er
Neither have I
The wings to fly

Build me a boat
That can carry two
And both shall row
My true love and I

A ship there is 
And she sails the seas
She's laiden deep
As deep can be

But not so deep
As the love I'm in
And I know not if
I sink or swim

I leaned by back
Against a young oak
Thinking it were
A trusty tree

But first it bended
And then it broke
Thus did my love
Prove false to me

Oh love is splendid 
And love is kind
Bright as a jewel
When first it's new

But love grows old
And waxes cold
And fades away
Like the morning dew

Me: what are you dressing up as for Halloween?
My ninth grade friend Kyle: The hottest man alive. I won’t even have to change.