Sorana

Hello and welcome to the shard! I won't add any more questions for you answer But you really should take a look at the Alleyverse. It's a lot of fun!

Damaya stared at her hands in disblieve. "What's that?" she muttered under her breath just as her hands became visible again. "You could learn how to do somthing like that on your own." Coru whispered into her ear and she decided, that she didn't want to know had happened. She leaned on the counter and waited for Pallas to return. After a second, she checked her hands again to make sure she was still visible.

I was really impressed. The had great actors (singers and dancers alike), and the scenery (I'm not sure if that's the right word - I mean the stuff they put on stage and can move around, according to google it's right though) was beautiful and really complex. I saw it live last year and I like it so much, that I went another time, just to see it again. I especially liked these songs: Confessions of a vampire Original Sin Finale (Starts at 1:37) Carpe Noctum The first two are the ballads of the main antagonist/ protagonist (the vampire) sung by Steve Barton. The Finale is the wohle choir, Carpe Noctum is a part of the choir together with the other male main protagonist. And I looked for the english version of the songs, just ignore some of the pictures.

Great idea. Especially with the different parts of the city being of different levels. I think the nuke could have done more damage, but I am no specialist for that, and it is a fantasy universum. So it doesn't really matter?

Damaya huged Yzabet back. "Spren." She answered and shot a quick look at Coru. "I know my way to the kitchen, you can look after your new customer." Damaya left the general room and walked through the hallway towards the kitchen. She could already smell the hot cakes and heard Pallas working. Without knocking she pushed the door open. "Hey Pallas." she greeting him and leaned her staff agains a wall, setting her bag down on the floor. "I'm here to save you from the big, evil hot cakes." grinning she rolled up her sleeves and stepped up to him. "How can I help?" It was then that she noticed, that she couldn't see her hands anymore.

Phantom of the Opera is great. I play some of the pieces on the piano. Do you know the musical Dance of the vampire? Or Cats?

Damaya smiled at the warm greeting and and walked over to Yzabeth. "I'm fine, thank you. She didn't throw me out, so that's something. But she threatened to do, if I didn't come to you again, so here I am." she replied, trying to appear relaxed, although she felt her voice tremble a bit. She feared the day when the woman finally decided to throw her back to the maws of the poor and homeless. She survived that once, but even the thought of going back there, closed her throat of, let her look for a place to hide. Carefully she moved her memories back, hid them somewhere deep in her mind. Thinking about her reply she hastened to add: "I didn't want to say, that I don't like here. It's really good to be away for a while and I looked forward to the journey and everything." With a rueful glance at Coru she asked. "So, if you have a few hours? I'm here to train, just like the previous times. It doesn't need to be today, I know you have work that needs to be done. And I can help with that, of course, I don't need to sit around doing nothing." She offered, hoping to stretch the time she spent away from the woman a bit.

Gladly. When I was finished I worried a bit if it was too much. I'm really looking forward to whatever you write next be it the first chapter, or a second prologue. Tough I would recommend to write the chapter. Finishing is more important than revising, in my experience.

Yes, and it only got better with the next two books. *stops herself from writing anything more because of spoilers*

That's really a hard question. There are a lot of cut scenes I like a lot. So I chose two of them, because both thouched me deeply. The first one is from Mass Effect 3. What hit me most, was that I as a player wanted to save this character (and I could have done so, though I would have to destroy a races chance fo a future with children), but the character convinced me to let him do this. That the race had problems reproducing was his work and he wanted to atone, and I simply couldn't take him that possibility. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-_X9Tsg0Fc The other one is from Dragon Age. When I saw it the first time, I sat in front of my computer, shouted no and started crying. The important person in the video is the woman holding the bow. She was a compainion in the first part of the series and I always took her on missions, romanced her and I loved her character. She changed during the three parts of the game and I was so happy to see her again in the third one, to again be able to interact with her. And then not even a quarter of the game later they presented me this scene. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pP41j2bTF3Q Oh well, maybe I get a bit too attached to these fictional characters...

I started a reread of N.K. Jemisins "The fifth season". It really touched me the first time. The characters are well developped and the world building had something new and interessting. Sometimes it was a bit hard to read, because it depicts humanity and human actions in dire situations in very realistic and cruel way, but I liked it even because there was no overall untouchable hero, but all the characters were simply human. Afterwards my brother is hopefully back from his holiday and can give me the third part of the Three body problem.

@Slowswift Just a short update: I can't get them all out of my head. Their music really hit a nerve. At the moment precious declaration lives in my head 24/7. It's been a while since a band captured me so completely. Especially one, that's a bit outside of my usual radar. I really have to thank you for that!

"I'm checking if you brush your teeth regularly."

@Draginon It's good you have someone to talk to. And definitly don't involve yourself in the whole divorce discussion. My parents tries both to get me on their side and in the end thy went to a lawyer who wrote down when we kids had to visit whom and when we had to leave and so on. It ended with my six-year-old self looking after my three year-old brother while our parents screamed at each other. I wish you, that the whole situation resolved itself at least so far, that it doesn't bothers you so much anymore. And that you find a way to live your life despite all of this.

In a way it does, yes. About the beginning of year four after the war Damaya ducked the grasping hands of a man and ran towards the end of the alley. She got too old for this. At eleven she was already a lot bigger than the other children and it proved to be a disadvantage. The younger ones were sometimes given food by nice men or women, but she, she was too old to look cute or helpless. She was old enough to work, they said, except that there wasn’t any work for a street urchin like herself. The last years without any regular food had left her body weaker than it should be and she had never had the chance to learn a craft. Sometimes she could earn a few Chrysts at the market, but usually nobody wanted her near their wares. So she survived by stealing food, by sitting in the street, begging for anything someone was willing to give to her. Recently a few men had approached her, offered her a full warm meal, she only had to let them have a bit of fun. Damaya had run away, frightened by the sheer thought of what they proposed. But a few days later the thought of a warm meal, a full warm meal only for herself. It became more and more powerful, luring her down a path she never thought she would even consider. “Over here.” she heard Coru’s voice and turned towards his nearly invisible form on a wall. She had accepted him as some sort of help, sometimes during the last winter, when she thought she would die either from cold or from hunger. Hastening down the next alley she followed him through the maze, over a wall and finally she saw the boards that were her own. There were still a few ruins left, and she slept in one of them, her form concealed by torn wooden boards. Hiding behind them she tried to calm her breathing and listened for those who had followed her. It was quiet, nobody came. She had lost them again. There was a part of her, that knew, that one day, she wouldn’t be able to loose them, that one day they would catch her and cut of her hand because she was a theif, but not today. And hopefully not tomorrow. Half a year later “Got you.” The guard grabbed her tunic and slammed her into the wall of an house. Damaya suppressed a cry and only stared at him. Her hand still clutched the pouch she had stolen from a woman a few minutes ago. Coru sat on a wall, and she could see him turning in strange circles, like painting a picture. A frightened, dark picture. Wriggling against his grip she tried to get free, to find a chance to bolt. But he simply slapped her across the face. “Be quiet.” Damaya stared into his dark, cold eyes and found no mercy there, no kindness. Only the promise of capture and pain. “You’ve got her?” A woman arrived, flanked by another two guards. She was young, maybe in her twenties and she wore a dress without too many patches and a pair of good boots. Not really rich, but definitely not poor either. “Who are you?” She addressed Damaya, her voice soft, the words spoken out clearly. She held herself with an innate grace, that Damaya usually knew from daughters whose only aim was to marry a good and rich man. Composed, well-spoken, educated. “Damaya.” She answered, after the guard held up his hand again, threatening to hit her. Another one grabbed the pouch and when she didn’t let go he pressed her hand into the wall until she sobbed in pain and let it fall down onto the ground. “Damaya.” The woman said her name softly looking her up and down. “I don’t like it, when someone steals my belongings, Damaya.” Her voice was still soft, emotionless like she stated a fact. “I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.” Damaya started begging, but the woman shook her head. “You will do it again. Don’t lie to yourself or to me. The moment you are hungry you will steal again. And since nobody caught you so far, you have to be rather good.” Again she stated facts and Damaya looked at her again, into her eyes. They were cold, and there was something else. Sadness? Maybe, she wasn’t really sure. The woman stepped closer, touching her hair, brushing it out of Damayas face. “You look like her.” She said, her voice sounding lost. “She would be as old as you are right now.” Her fingers caressed Damayas cheek and Damaya tried to get away, but the guard’s grip held her firmly pressed against the wall. “Take her. Nobody will miss an orphan.” She hesitated. “You are an orphan?” Damaya kept silent, she didn’t want to go with the woman, she wanted to run away. “Yes, she is.” The third guard answered the question and Damaya looked at him for the first time. Her gut clenching. She knew him. Everybody knew him. He made a point in getting to know all the orphans living on the streets. And he made a point in letting them entertain him. She had escaped him “attentions” because he preferred his girls, or his boys, a bit older. They all tried to escape him, but he had money and money was power. And if there was one thing an orphan didn’t had, then it was someone who stood up for them, who defended them. It was easier to let this guard continue and save the children of those with work, than to look after those that were lost, those that lived next to the society. The woman nodded and turned to her: “I have an offer for you. Either we remove your hand and send you out again to die. From cold, from the injury, through hunger.” Again her fingers moved over Damayas cheek. “Or you behave yourself, learn what I give you to learn, start being a good little girl. Then you can live with me at my house. It’s your decision.” She turned around and started to walk away. “Put her into the cellar and give her something to eat. And tell her to wash. She should think about her options.”

YAY!!! Good luck to those in the first group! I really look forward to read your roats!

Damaya walked up the path to the Waystop, her thoughts circling around one central point. She was here to learn about her spren. And she didn't really want to do that. Coru followed her somewhere, and although she didn't admit it, she liked to have him around. He would listen to her, he would talk to her when she was bored. He would tell her when someone walked up to room late at night, so that she could blow out the candle and pretend to sleep. But in the end he wanted her to advance, to start using her powers, and she didn't want to. Without these stupid powers there would have been no war, her parents wouldn't have died and she wouldn't have bonded that spren. He reminded her of what she had lost, of these terrible nights hiding while monsters killed everybody she knew, she cared about. Even her little cat hadn't survived. And now she was here, because the woman that had kept her fed, that had looked after her and gave her the oppurtunity to be more than a scrawny street orphan, had asked her to do it. Learn about your spren, about what he offers. Make an informed decision before you decline something like that. There was no way she could have told her no, no way not to go. Nearly bumping into a man, who stood outside the door she looked up. "I'm sorry." she apologized and walked around him to grasp the handle. "Isn't the door open? It's a waystop after all. I never saw one with a locked door during the day." Pushing down the handle she opened the door and looked inside the room. "Hello? Is anybody there?"

Hello =) first of all: thumbs up for writing the prologue and for having the courage to post it here. Yes it reminded me of the Reckoners, but well, every superhero story somehow reminds me of the Reckoners. But I also got the feeling, that you're approach isn't the same, and that you can move your story in a direction that won't feel like Reckoners 2.0. But after reading the prologue I simply don't know enough of the setting to really judge that. But if you want to bounce a few ideas back and forth just contact me. I added my feedback to the text itself in red, see the spoiler box below. I hope you can understand it, and that it isn't too much and that it helps you. When I give something to my beta I ask her/ him to simply comment everything, and that's what I did here. Because even if I don't agree, I always value their opinion. If you have any questions please ask.

I think something like "Heart of steel" from Manowar would fit Damaya well. It's one of their quieter songs and it depicts (partially) the way I want her character evolve. To become a strong and self-confident person that won't give up, even when something goes wrong. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rY_ewcSaRho That one's beautiful. And really strong.

Ingeniuty. Because then I would know what kind of investiture it is related to. WYR be able to store physical weight or your senses?

@minima Legion is also great And I can understand that you want to read them in english, same here. I also feel like something is lost reading a translation, because every translator has to interpret up to a certain point.

Hello and welcome to the shard! And you definitly should read his other books as well. They are as good as those Cosmere related. If you want to spend more time outside of books you could maybe start with Alcatraz as they are short compared to Rithmatist or the Reckoners Series. But on the other hand Rithmatist is only one book. I don't know, just read them

Assuming you mean Brandon Sanderson and not some random guy that's easy: definitly Brandon. Although I'm not sure if that will ever happen. WYR be a Rithmatist or a Steelrunner?

@Rand al’Thorres And a piece of general advice: Don't try to understand each word. Just continue reading. As long as you get the sense behind a sentence it's fine, because you understand the book. And don't give up. It gets easier with every single page you read. When I started reading in english I kept something to write next to book and if an unknown word appeared often then I wrote it down to look it up later. I was a good way for me, because I could continue to read and and learn new words.

I find it hard in general to decide between Brandon's books. They're all great. The rest are just personal preferences, but in the end I loved every single one of them.