Tesh

*crashes through the wall*

IT'S BEEN NINE YEARSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

As always, thank you to all of the lovely people I met here, and to this site for giving me a place to belong when I didn't really have one anywhere else.

NEXT YEAR WILL BE A DECADE

WHAT THE storm

Ooh I don't think this will let me swear, I wonder what that word will change into.... 

Anyways.

Happy nine year Shardiversary to me I guess, my pfp reverted back to its natural form a bit ago and I think I shall now remain a kiwi as long as this site exists.

*blows everyone a kiss*

Guess what I missed.

Been on this site for over eight years now. Only super active for maybe half of that but it's still really important to me.

The list from last year still holds firm, andddd yeah. I talk to you all on Discord like every day. So. We're just doing this cause I've done it every year for eight years and I won't stop now.

Wahooo

Love y'all. 

Hiiiiiiiiiiiii it's my Shardiversary!

It's been seven years now, I think.

Gonna keep this short cause I'm really not active on here much anymore, but I'm just going to thank a few people.

@The Awakened Salad HEY NERD. I love you. Just. Yeah. You're really really cool. You know how I feel about you. I can talk to you about anything, and you're just one of my absolute favorite people ever.

@AonEne HEY NERD. I love you. You're also super duper cool, and it's always fun to pull the "I know a mod and his dog attempted to initiate relations with me" card. (I don't do anything with it, I just show it to people I guess. I think I mention you more than I mention my aunt knowing Emily really well? Anyways.) I'm really going to miss being close to you next year, but we made it work before then and it will continue to work. Thanks for just. Always being there.

So grateful for the FAB squad as a whole, you two really are just two of my closest friends and I hope it stays that way for eternity. (My ghost will haunt your ghosts.) (I feel like that's a reference to something but I'm not sure what.) (Might be a Skyward quote actually?)

@Knight of Iron Koiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. Thanks for being awesome. I'm always so thrilled when you DM me. I love talking to you so much. Thanks for being my Hollow Knight buddy.

@Ed Venture HEY NERD. (I could great every single one of you like that.) Okay so here's an example of how Vennie is the best human being ever. She lived down the road from me this last school year. When I was moving out to come back home for the summer, I invited her over so we could hang out one last time before I left. I was expecting her to just kinda hang out while I cleaned and we'd talk or maybe watch something, but she just showed up and asked how she could help. And she then proceeded to clean the majority of the kitchen. (My two roommates who left early didn't do much cleaning.) AND when I left the next day, I had mentioned that morning on Discord in a random channel having gotten a cut on my finger and thinking it was infected but having all my first aid stuff packed, and she ran by to say bye and just. Brought me a bandaid and some antibiotic stuff from her job. I have nothing for praise but this wonderful lady, I'm going to miss her so much next year. (I'm going to a different college.)

@DramaQueen HEY NERD. Thanks for being such a great roommate! You're crazy and I'm worried about your quantity of free time, but I have so much respect for you for just. Doing it. You're really cool, and I'm going to miss having you around next year. (I have to live with people I don't know????)

@King Oreo Hello my child. Thank you so much for all the memes, and all the pictures of your critters, and of course for sharing all of your art! I love you so much, and I'm so grateful to have you in my life. Talking to you always brightens my day.

@Mist @Condensation @Vapor Hi nerds!!! Sorry for grouping you all together, but I wanted to mention all of you and I'm going to bed very soon. But you all are so cool??? Just you're all genuinely so thoughtful and kind, and so fun to be around. I'm also going to miss being close to you all, but I'm so grateful we got to hang out so much this last year (even though it wasn't anywhere near enough). (Tell the cats I love them.)

And of course a shout out to everyone who has touched my life, especially the Knights of the Cosmere roleplayers back in 2017 and the original TUBA group. Thanks for letting me know what it's like to belong. I'm eternally grateful.

Until next year! (Unless I just totally leave by then, I really don't know what will happen.)

Bought and started reading my first Sanderson book (tWoK) seven years ago on the 16th.

Which is. Wild. I was in sixth grade at the time so it's been a part of my life while I've been growing up and just. Worked towards becoming me. Still got a ways to go but I'm going to assume you guys know what I mean.

I don't think the Cosmere will ever have as big a role in my life as it has in the past. This site is where I connected with so many of my current friends, it got me into reading adult fantasy and not just YA and middle grade, it helped me pursue writing. Those things were instrumental in who I am now. I'll be honest, I don't like a lot of Brandon's newer stuff as much as the older things like Elantris and The Way of Kings and era one. I still consider The Way of Kings one of my top three favorite books.

I was at Dragonsteel in November and that was incredible, but mostly for the people. I love the stories and the characters but there are stories and characters I love more.

I wish I could've told lil twelve year old Tesh that Dragonsteel was a thing that would one day exist and that you'd be able to go and hang out with some of your favorite people in the world.

It's nearly 1am and my brain isn't overly coherent.

But these books have played an incredibly important role in who I am now, and that means that they'll always be a part of me. And part of that is broadening my horizons in terms of what I enjoy reading, and like I've moved beyond things like Harry Potter and Percy Jackson, I'm moving onto new things now. I still regularly reread Percy Jackson, and I still own more Brandon books than books by any other author, so they're far from left behind. But I'm still moving forward.

Like I never considered myself a fan of horror, but Neil Gaiman is my top author this year by a lot and I've fallen absolutely head over heels for Sandman. I also never thought I'd read this many comics!

I guess another thing is that I've found books that showcase the experiences of more people than Brandon's. I use Storygraph to track what I read (BECAUSE I LIKE GRAPHS) and last year my second to top genre (behind fantasy) was LGBTQ+. None of Brandon's books would fall into that category (yet!). But as Brandon does get better at inclusivity, I'm finding myself liking his writing (and honestly just hard, epic fantasy in general) less.

It's kinda hard acknowledging that even to myself because of that huge impact they've had on me, but that's the truth of the matter. And it's okay. Just unfortunate that I moved to Utah after the peak of my obsession.

TL;DR Brandon's books have fundamentally changed me as a person, and introduced me to fandom and therefore to my best friends in the world. I'm never going to discount that, but I've also changed a lot as a reader and a person and I've found a lot of other things that I enjoy more than a lot of his more recent work.

I did not mean for that to be so long and my brain isn't working anywhere near well enough to reread that for coherency, so ENJOY!

And my Shardiversary is next month, and I'm not really active enough on here anymore to totally justify doing those. So the one next month may be my last one, who knows.

Oh I can't forget to do the mental health awareness month post though.

If I sent this on Discord it would reach a more relevant audience but it's going here for old times sake.

Anyways, see ya! I'll be back on the 1st (probably) and the 17th!

This is one of the first places where I'd send updates on my birds for years. When I shifted to Discord that kinda stopped, but when I got Kaladin I remember asking on here for name suggestions. 

Figured I'd update people on here, even though most of the people who were around when I got him I mostly talk to on Discord anymore. But he passed away this afternoon. His health has slowly been getting worse for about a year now. He was a wonderful little bird. I'm at school, but my family did their best to give him the best care they could while I've been gone.

There's really not much of a point to me sharing this here, but I guess that he's kinda just been such a big part of my personality that it feels necessary to just let everyone know. 

He would've been four this April. 

I didn't expect Good Omens to burrow into my brain like it has.

I keep feeling like I'm forgetting something really exciting and then I remember. 

It's not even anything really overly specific about the show that my brain keeps getting excited about.

Just getting large surges of happy chemicals.

I ordered the book though so I'll be reading that over my break.

Anyways, highly recommend the show. It's just so unique and so fun and so good and YES. 

And I am four days away from being done with my first semester of college so that's fun. 

I MISSED MY SHARDIVERSARY!!!

I literally thought about it that morning and then forgot.

Anyways.

At least I remembered today.  

So... It's been six years now. 

That's crazy.

I was in sixth grade then (no one found out, it's fine) and now I'm about to graduate and go to college.

This community and these books have had such a huge impact on me. I talked quite a bit about that when I posted my Sanderversary so this time I'm going to mention some specific people.

@The Awakened Salad You are the best half of STAELSAHD, the best leader of The Awakened Salad Co, and the best friend I could ask for. I wish that our time zones and schedules didn't hate each other so much so that we could talk more, but... Despite that, you're amazing. Thank you for introducing me to The Owl House and many books. When I started talking to you it was like I had finally found out what it was like to have a true friend who I genuinely feel comfortable talking to. Befriending you was the first step for me to realize that it was possible for me to actually have real friends. Thank you, thank you, thank you. (And one day I will meet you and we can watch tOH together and it will be awesome.) [insert sanderavalanche gif here]

@AonEne ENE! The F of the FAB squad, the head of the Bene pantheon, an original member of The Knights of the Cosmere, an original member of TUBA, and now the best 17th Shard mod. (I'm not biased at all.) You're just... You're really cool? It's hard to convey how cool you are. Also you're kind of the mature one out of the three of us which is super weird but I'm also very grateful for that. You're incredibly wise, intelligent, thoughtful, nerdy, and just fun to talk to. I absolutely cannot wait to see more of you next year. Thank you for being my friend, and thank you for being awesome. 

@Knight of Iron K O I ! You are also super cool. I'm so grateful for your friendship. You're the only reason I ever beat Hollow Knight, you're so thoughtful in your friendships, and you're getting really storming good at thinking about things critically and challenging your assumptions, and it's so cool watching you learn and grow. Life has not been very kind to you, but you keep pushing through, and I'm so so so glad that you're in my life.

@DramaQueen You, my friend, are just as awesome as everyone else on this list. It's so fun to talk to you, and I'm so glad that we were able to connect and get to know each other better. Honestly, you're not really the kind of person I generally see myself being friends with, but... we are! And it works! And I'm so glad that we are. Hanging out with you has always been so fun, and thank you for introducing me to a bunch of super cool musicals. I can't wait to be roommates next year and to come up with some great cosplays and for you to meet Kaladin and everything else on our list.  

@Ed Venture Vennie, I love you to death. You're such a neat person, even though your sense of humor is mildly disturbing. Thank you for your help with all of my random questions about college, and for just always being there for me. It means so much. I can't wait to see you more next year. (I haven't forgotten about dress shopping.)

@Vapor You are such an incredible person. I'm amazed every time I talk to you by your resilience and bravery. You're so cool, you have awesome hair, and hanging out with you is always a joy. You're such a kind and delightful human being. 

@Condensation TELL SPOOK I SAY HI! You are also amazing. I know we don't talk very much, but I always feel comfortable around you and it's so easy to talk with you. You're awesome and you've got this. I really hope to see more of you and Vapor next year as well. 

@Doomstick I know we're kind of more casual friends, but when I do chat with you it's always great. Thanks for being my first friend on Duolingo, and I hope that we have the chance to ski together again a few more times in the future. (I'll read Bluebear at some point, I promise.)

Of course there are so many more people, but these eight have probably had the largest influence on who I currently am. To everyone else, you're also awesome and it's a joy and a blessing to know you and have you in my life. The community I've found through this site rivals no other, and I have genuinely made life long friends. And it's so nice knowing that it'll always be incredibly easy to find someone to discuss Sanderson books with.  

Until next year!

Hey guys! Just wanted to let y'all know that I just posted the mental health awareness thread for 2023! 

Please stop by and show your support by changing your profile pictures green for the month of May! And it'd also be great if some of you would be willing to spread the word around a bit. Most of the people who follow me are no longer active.  

Okay so I missed my Sanderversary. 

On April 19, 2017, I bought my first Brandon Sanderson book. (I found the receipt a while back which is the only reason I know the date.) I started reading it that day.

And now I get to flex that my first Sanderson book was The Way of Kings and that I read it when I was twelve.  

So... Yeah, it's crazy. These books have been such a huge part of my life for the last six years. I've grown up so much since then. (And I still have a lot more growing up to do, trust me.) The Cosmere has completely reshaped my understanding of stories and of fantasy in particular, and Brandon honestly is just a great person. The books are no longer my entire personality as they were when I was in middle school, but they have made up a lot of who I am now. And even if at some point I move on from them (unlikely), that mark will always remain.

And honestly, I'm just so grateful for Brandon. I love how much he has grown as an author, especially when it comes to representation and diversity in his books, and how he's been handling that of late. As a queer, autistic, AFAB individual, it means the world to me that my favorite author is an open supporter of these comminities I'm a part of, and is not only standing up for us (specifically in relation to the LGBTQIA+ community), but also is seeking to accurately depict us and others in his works of fiction. 

Representation. Means. Everything. 

And the more I've come to understand bias and how representation can affect that, the more I've come to appreciate Brandon. Because no one really does it like he does, especially with how open he is with his fans about it. I especially appreciate how he's acknowledged his past shortcomings, such as his lack of female characters in Mistborn, and that he has been open about them, as well as the fact that his desire to improve in these regards is clear in his newer works.

He's not perfect. I disagree with the way he approaches a lot of things, especially his work with his charity and the way he handled the Kickstarter. But when it comes down to it, he's honestly just a good human being. And I'll never forget how kind he was when little seventh grade me came to a signing and asked "do you care how many books you sign?" and he said no and then proceeded to sign all fifteen books that I brought. I look up to him in a lot of ways. 

And... Honestly, most importantly, these books led me to finding a community when I had none. When I was in middle school, I wanted nothing more than to have friends that I could talk to about the Cosmere. But, understandably, most kids in that age range don't really want to be friends with the one weird kid who just wants to talk about the giant epic fantasy bricks and who constantly pesters everyone to read them. But I came here. (Yes, I was too young. But no one caught me so hah. /lh) I found a community. I started a role play that continued for I think three years, I was the second member of TUBA, and eventually I got on discord and through the community that came together through the Shard, I met a bunch of people who are now some of my closest friends in the world. (I'll give some of them a shoutout next month in my Shardiversary post.)

I seriously just can't express how large a role these books have played in my life. (Though my list of how many times I've read each book in my about me may provide an idea.) 

But.... Yeah. Just... I'll always be a Sanderfan, in one way or another.

Oh also I read over half of Elantris today. This was only my third time reading it and I enjoyed it so much more than I remembered. Raoden is such a good bean. Also now that I've started fencing, the fencing scenes were so fun. I think I currently like it more than I like Warbreaker, which is kind of unexpected. My second to last time reading Warbreaker I read it in under 24 hours, but last time it just kinda fell flat. But I loved Elantris so much this time. I think the difference between those two for me this time around was my perception of the characters. The characters in Warbreaker (sorry for reusing the same phrase) just fell flat for me. But Elantris felt far more driven by the individual characters. The characters felt less like plot devices, I guess.

Anyways.

Elantris was fun.

I have the tenth anniversary edition too so I got the fun little scene with Hoid doing Hoid things at the end.

...

It got far too late far too fast. Stupid sentimentality.  

Who decided I'm qualifed to go to college ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

If you are currently in a time zone where now is a good time to go to bed, please go to bed. Thank youuuuuuuu. 

Oh and also, y'all should watch The Owl House.  

I just finished Tress.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

That is all.

Update: still obsessed with The Owl House.

That is all.

Wow.

Nostalgia.

June 30, 2017

It's been a while.

I'm still really really grateful for all of the connections and friends I made through tKotC. Everyone was just absolutely delightful to interact with, and I honestly miss it. But I definitely don't have the time to revive it right now.

But yeah.