Turos

In the chapter Death Wears White: Could be an idle curse, could mean something. Judging on who is thinking it, I'm gonna guess the latter. EDIT: Oh ya, this is during a fight with another Shardbearer. His blade appears shortly after, following some sweet Lashing moves by Szeth.

Mind if I submit as well?

Do we really understand about a Shard's intent? Is this concept of a driving desire/compulsion verified as an actual attribute of each Shard? If so, Odium would not seem to be drawn to claim attention. He would loathe everyone, leading more to apathy. That is unless you consider it a 'dual-intent' where he actually desires to be hated. It's possible. The order of plot structure, though, seems to indicate otherwise. Brandon's a master when it comes to writing, and one of the key points to a story is introducing the antagonist, 'bad guy/force/phenomenon' aka the opposition, early on. We have news of Odium within the 'First Act' of the Cosmere's story. It could still turn out to be a big plot twist, but my money's on Odium, however there's for certain going to be a big surprise when it happens, somehow.

This is a lot of good advice, thank you! I am definitely going to redo this segment and see where the story goes

Oh, man. That would take him stating the Third and Fourth Ideals of his Order and still it would require an enormous amount of stormlight, I bet.

Ah, now I see what you mean about fitting it all into a shorter book. The pacing in this story is fast, but that doesn't take away from the experience of reading it. I like how you portray the story in first person, which is weird for me. Usually, first person narrative doesn't work for me. The way you explain everything, however, allows for a more focused experience without getting over-the-top in describing everything the narrator is thinking and feeling. Perhaps it's Sence's personality that makes it this way, but regardless of the reason, it works good. The voice of the story is pretty direct: survive regardless of the cost. That's a good, strong voice. I would have liked to see a little more into the personal conflicts the characters may have had over the decisions, however, as that would open a way for me to connect with them better. Vasco seems almost too ready to accept the reasons given him for the deaths of the madmen. Even though there is no real argument against it, Alina was right, I would have liked to have seen the outward conflict of emotion on his face or in his body language, or through more argument, about losing the men or forcing himself to put his opinions aside to accept reality. This story has some very interesting potential, in my eyes, by involving the alien creatures. We can see more of the viewpoints of a different culture for ourselves now that Sence is in their playground. In the entirety, great work. I haven't read the previous chapter, but I can tell you have a good understanding of plot construction, and definitely conflict. xD

Wow, this is some quality stuff you have. I haven't read any other chapters, but I do have comments on this one, at least. I really like the character Origon. He's a smarter-than-thou jerk who also knows how to mess with people, but actually knows what he is talking about. I like how he is so certain of the 'Drain' phenomenon when everyone else claims it preposterous and doesn't give him the time of day about it. Something else I enjoyed was the way he could confide in a fellow Majus, dropping the attitude to talk as equals. These all make for what I think to be a good, rounded-out personality. He has flaws and strengths, some characteristics being in both of those categories. I found it a little odd of a description about his hands dripping yellow while transferring thoughts to someone. I couldn't tell if this was some actual liquid, though I assumed it was really a powerful description of the glow or something, but that didn't seem to have an explanation, though this may have happened in a previous chapter. When Rilan's hands changed color, I came to assume it was simply a glow of power. The only other part that confused me was why Rilan would rush out to aparently confront the assassin when Origon revealed his location. Wouldn't she want more information before jumping to trust his unexplained judgement? This wouldn't stand out to me so much if previously it is explained that she trusts his perception completely, though she says he lacks good perception later. Even still, some sort of particular facial expression would help clue me in to a hidden reason. It's a good way to show he has a way to resolve his doubts about her, but is missing something to this effect. Again, great work! I'm not a big sci-fi fan, but after getting some connection to Origon going, I found it very enjoyable to read and would likely finish the book to see how he develops and the other characters you come up with. EDIT: Also, magi in space? Brilliant!

Thanks for those willing to take a look! Any comments on my writing style are most appreciated so I can get a good feel of whether what I see when I read it comes across decently to you. Any other comments are also helpful, thanks!

Do we have any idea on how large the survivable area is on the Elendel end?

What in the world does 'PBA' stand for? I just read this entire thread and apparently missed some clue... Let's see, possible meanings: Piggy-Back Assistant Pretty Bad Apple Pie Before Actions Probability-Based Anger EDIT: Aha, no worries, I googled it. For those who don't know what we are talking about here, PBA stands for Professional Bowlers Association. They even have the acronym, as their website

So here's some loose conjecture: We have been told that Odium is the most power Shard of Adonalsium, correct? We have been told that Rayse, the apparently current mortal holding the Shard of Odium was already a good fit for it as a rather bad dude, correct? Is there a reason Odium is more powerful? I'm sure. I am wondering if the mortal acts as a sort of conduit for the Shard, allowing it to actually use its powers. In this assumption, a Shard can do nothing, or not nearly as much, without a body to inhabit. If this is the case, would it not make sense that having a mortal as a host, being tied to the three Realms, who's spiritual attitude and determinations are aligned with that Shard's aspect thus allow the Shard to use its power to a fuller potential? Translation: Is Odium stronger because his host is more like him than any other Shard's host is to those Shards? Here's another thought. In the Way of Kings, the person in Dalinar's visions (I'm assuming it's Honor) mentions something interesting in reference to fighting Odium: The thing about the champion is interesting, but I'm more interested by the "bound by some rules" thing. What ideas do you have as to what that implies?

Say a Forger from Sel forged something like a piece of pottery to make its history rewritten into a masterpiece. Then let's say a worldhopper from Roshar who happens to be a Soulcaster Knight Radiant comes along and tries to soulcast it. Would it be too difficult to do because it has been invested with a different magic? If not, how would the soulcasting affect the forgery? If its true that investment in something interferes with further investment by someone else, does that mean someone could make a fortress that protects them from other magic by investing it? Here's another one: So Hoid visited the Well of Ascension before Vin, right? Whether he took a bead of Lerasium from it or not is irrelevant. Could he reasonably have a Forger make up a soulstamp that would change his history into him having swallowed Elend's Lerasium bead before Elend had a chance? Temporary Mistborn powers anyone? I wonder how far the effects of one Shard's magic and power of creation can step into the realm of another Shard's magic and power of creation. Even though they are seperate 'entities', they were originally all one 'entity'. Ooo, use a soulstamp to fix Adonalsium. xD Just remember to reapply the stamp every twenty minutes.

So what happens with summoning a Shardblade if you have arithmia? Does it summon half-way first, then the second half pops up a beat later? Oooo! Or maybe you get two half-Shardblades!

1. I was[/i] wondering what happened to him. <---FAIL TROLOLOL 2. 0.0 3. What do they look like? 4. Oh Kaladin, always failing us. Your punishment shall be infinite! So does this mean Hoid is his master?

That darn Odium Can't keep his hand out of the cookie jar, even though he hates those cookies with a passion! Cookies are a cruel mistress to him.

Oooh, magnetism is an interesting idea for a Surge one way or the other.

So, ya. Syl is definitely NOT a windspren. I caught up in my rereading From hearing Brandon's explanation for many things basing around "how the object views itself", my opinion on gravity and the anchor already touching the ground, it seems perhaps that the object may just consider itself, in general, part of the ground. The physics wouldn't be so much of the question as the perception of the elements in play. I can, however, see the roof of a cavern considering itself separate from the floor of the cavern, even though it is carved from one massive rock. At the same time, both would see themselves as part of the cavern as a whole. It looks like more of a conditional thing, all tied to the cognitive direction of the objects.

Sweet! A full roster of submissions. I have something ready for the 28th if its not full already

Right, so it would be more of having to start the summoning, wait for ten separate heartbeats to pass, and the Shardblade coalesces in their hand. Some evidence: And from chapter 13 entitled "Ten Heartbeats": (Emphasis added) There are some more references to ten heartbeats, but I think this is solid enough to confirm that the heartbeats are indeed the required pattern to summon the blade.

And yet we can predict Odium's arrival as it is a key plot tool of foreshadowing. Odium definitely will be on Roshar by the tenth book and more likely much sooner. What gets me is why don't the other Shards team up on him? Can't they tell what he is doing? Honor apparently could, unless it was Odium after all who did him in. Is Odium now that strong that he can take on all the others at once? Then again, would all of them want to stop him? Maybe some are working with him, at least as far as they get something out of it. Then I wonder about Cultivation. What's that Shard up to? Hiding and surviving? Seems that way.