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In my experience it is a longer-term writing relationship. Usually it begins after one is substantially far into a piece. Bits are shared and critiqued in an LBL format each week or so for an indefinite period of time. So not an alpha, which is a breezy read through for like/not like and general comments, not a beta, which tends to be a one shot thing. Not a copy edit, because that's what an actual copy editor is for once you sign. I've been editing so much the past year I haven't needed one. But now with starting a new book from scratch, a CP would be very helpful. I like to have three or four for a new book, so if anyone else wants to be my buddy...

@Mandamon gotcha! If you need a CP for your fantasy, let me know. I have to start book three here soon and could use a solid CP for the ride.

@Mandamon what's your Twitter handle (if you don't mind sharing)? Would love to follow you.

Upcoming Twitter pitch contests, as found here. If anyone is thinking of entering and wants pitch help, query help, or all of the above, just PM me. August 29th: Hot Summer's Cool Pitchfest September 7th: PitchSmae: Star Wars -- TheWrite Side Septermber 8th: On the Block September 8th: #PitMad Twitter Pitch party October 5th: #DVPit for kid and YA lit October 6th: #DVPit for adult / NF November TBA: #AdPit and #KidPit December TBA: PitchMAS

Congratulations, @Mandamon!

Completely understandable @Robinski! I do the same- can't work on my stuff until the critiques for the week are done. Im always excited to see work from you, so hoping to see you submitting more!!!

Sent you LBLs and my thoughts, but just wanted to reiterate that I LOVE Brick, and I found this an enjoyable chapter.

Overall I liked it. A lot. I got a lot more feel for Atena, who she is as a person, and why war is so heavy on her mind. I'm still confused about the war in general, and would like more reasons for its existence, but you're doing very well on character development. Your questions - timeskip: is fine with me - worldbuilding: LOVED it - Atena: she needs work, but I like what is coming forth. We get a few more personal stakes out of her and I'm all aboard Team Atena - pacing: I found this chapter to have more tension and better pacing than the action-packed one before it. THIS chapter would have me keep reading the book. The one before would have turned me off as just battle with zero character development. This chapter gives me world, stakes, people, investment. - flashback: I detailed thoughts on this below Nice work! Can't wait to read the next chapter! As I go - 'high' not really needed with the word 'piled'. Piled already implies 'high'. Also, you use 'high' in the next sentence, making it redundant - page one: 'remembrancers'. Isn't this word pretty much owned by Garth Nix? Yes, it's a real word and such, but its use just sticks me in Abhorsen immediately. - page two: I'm still struggling with this war. Why is it being fought? What are the stakes? - page two: sidenote to Marcus - if you're trying to get a lady out, buddy, you need to work a little harder than that. Sure, she's a war hero, but there has to be a monster truck rally or a gun show or a rabbit agility contest somewhere that would perk her interest. Work for it. - page three: the word 'billboard' really stands out as modern in this dystopian world - page three: the line about giving hands whatever need to keep city running in perpetual cycle of reverence is vague. What exactly is the cycle of reverence? What type of reverence? To whom? - page four: Marcus has a statute but she doesn't? Isn't she some type of hero? - I'm not certain you need that whole dream here. I like the lead up to it, and the snippets, but the whole dream dumps a little much. It might be more fun to have snippets of the dream come over the next few chapters, perpetually invading her day-to-day activities and unwinding her story more slowly

Welcome back! I'm glad you're subbing again. I want to know where this goes. Overall While I can see a clear world emerging, I am having more and more problems with Sira as a character. Details below. I like the magical elements of the world, and her unfolding backstory, but I think the grandfather description needs to be a lot earlier. As I go - page one: need a transition between paragraph one and two. I'm confused - page one: I still don't understand why she is afraid. What is she afraid of, specifically? Why does she have this fear? Where does this 'maelstrom of terrors' come from? - I'm confused too at the transition from fear to slow steps at not wanting to return home. This is a very abrupt transition all around. - Why is she avoiding her grandfather? You set it up as if she was sneaking in, perhaps she'd been out too late? But the grandfather seems not at all concerned. She turns down pie, but says she'll come back for it later? What is happening here?? - page two: the empty dresser and luggage bit is good! - page five: "However, she realized, giant beasts would not own human-sized clothing." I LOLed - start of page six: again with this terror thing. This time it is a little better flushed out, but still. I need backstory. Why is Sira constantly acting like an alley cat? - page eight: OK, so here we finally get a clue to the flightiness of Sira. This needs to come MUCH earlier. It would help push the entire narrative along, as well. - page nine: While I have some empathy for Sira's younger self, the inability to see past the scarring at the age you have her at makes me dislike her character, and emotionally attach to the grandfather. Dude needs a hug. - page 9: French is a proper noun. Toast is not. - page ten: bungalow is not a proper noun - page thirteen: getting too many new gadgets here. I can visualize the triangulator, but not really any of the others. You need to spend more time on them, and introduce fewer all at once. Also, what happened to all her terror? She just willingly goes back to this place now, after all the fear build we had previously? I'm getting whiplash. - end: I'm disliking Sira the farther into this we get. She started crying before even trying to see if she was trapped?

Our 'S' here is for sexual tension. All very angst at this point. Nothing tangible. Be ye not afraid. I reworked chapter three, and would like to hear your thoughts on if it. I am primarily concerned with the ending - do you get a feel of impending doom (or something akin) with the ships massing? Should I spend more time there? Between chapters three and five there is a substantial uptick in sexual tension. I think. I hope. I have a romance critique group I just joined just to deal with this book (a romance writer I am not), and they’re pleased with the progression. So my question now is, does it work for a SFF audience? Things should be getting smoother with the writing now, as I’ve just moved to draft four. LBLs are greatly appreciated at this stage, along with hard core comments on character development. I’m also always after help with tension.

I had yesterday off. I sat down in my favorite chair and spent eight consecutive hours editing chapter 26 in book two. Is there a writing marathon olympic sport (in which you basically stay in one place/chapter)? If so, I may have just medaled.

I was thinking of when she commented on him bringing back a husband, or something along those lines. I laughed. It didn't seem like a barb, more like a slightly edgy but still well-meaning sibling taunt.

I think we have six in line right now, so if you're out it drops to five, so capacity. If anyone else wants in, I'll drop out. I've been submitting pretty regularly.

Finally getting to this! Overall I enjoyed the first section. The death of the goddess colored the dialogue and had me really paying attention. The second half I was less interested in. I know it sets the stage, and it has good information, but these types of scenes, especially for an intro chapter, just seem...dull. I'd like a bit more conflict before we sit down and chat between brother and sister. Some tension, so discussion perhaps of things like, what if a new goddess doesn't rise? Does crime spike in-between goddesses? Does Lasila have a mystery client she needs to meet with soon? Just something to spark the imagination to get us through the sibling chat. Lasila From this chapter, I see her as very hard working. Very committed to her family (if only just through monetarily staying afloat). Concerned with keeping appearance, a soft spot for plants. Clearly going to have magic. That is implied through the flashback. Still a bit...passive in her reactions to the world, but I hesitate to say that because its only first chapter. I do say it because she's a lawyer, which is against society ATM, but when she talks about not being able to practice in a courtroom there is no anger. No fantasy of what she could if she could. When she speaks with her brother, it is calm. Not forceful, although playful. She's a very calm person, working with the system she has. This is fine, but it makes for a 'slower' character, one that can sometimes be hard to rally behind. I third this. First section is active. Engaging. Second is back to issues I had with the last draft. Also agree here. I have a very definitive sense of the world now. @Mandamon and I seem to track together on reviews a lot, recently. As I go - second paragraph lays out the society very nicely - discussion of goddess death really holds my attention - page three: that first discussion stretches a bit long. Shaving a few paragraphs off would help. I feel like it starts to meander in places. - I love the flashback to her childhood dreams!

*coughs* *coughs again* *backs out of the thread*

Welcome back @Shadowfax! @neongrey yes, best to have a fully polished manuscript before entering. Requests are everywhere during it, so you'd likely get a few pings, and then you wouldn't want to squander chances with a manuscript still rough around the edges. I think it'll run pretty regularly twice per year. I'm helping with it this time, so it's super exciting!

THE BEST EVER Twitter contest is coming up! #DVpit goes down October 5th for kids/teens books and October 6th for adult books. 8am-8pm ET. Info: http://dvpit.com/about.html This pitch contest was by far the most influential for me. At least twenty participants signed with agents/publishers from the first round (I'm one of them). If you and your manuscript fall into an #ownvoices lanes, THIS IS THE PITCH CONTEST FOR YOU!

I'd like in on the 22nd as well, if possible.

I'm having a very surreal moment. The timelines and maps of the Systems are being designed right now for AFD (the frontmatter). There is a real artist somewhere making a map of a fictitious story from my brain. Thats weird.

In fact I thought you had thrown a new name in when I first read it, because you abbreviated the father's name. Then on the second read I realized it was the father, so was doubly confused. I think your edits sound excellent! ETA: I do agree with @Coop. I noticed similarities to Vin and mist born cloaks and roof jumping right off. I was going to give it another chapter or so to bring it up, in case it veered quickly into fresh territory.

Welcome welcome! Overall Interesting. I'd like to see it fleshed out more, and have some quibbles below. I'm not feeling Riley just yet, and think reassessing how you portray her age and paternal interactions would help. The magic systems is intriguing, but I'd like more about it straight off, so when the sodium goes I have some clue what is going on. I don't think there was too much world building and in some places, a bit more would be nice. There are some tension dip areas though, where you might remove some of the wb and move to other areas. Overall, looking forward to the next chapter! As I go - page 1: I really hope 'frostwood' is an ongoing thing in here, because I love me some fantasy trees - The paragraph starting with 'The secret treasury' reads info dumpy. It'd be more fun to have her recall those events as she looks over more items. - page 2: I'm having a hard time judging Riley's age. Old enough to steal, young enough to live at home. It's a little distracting, but not horribly so yet. Just a heads up. Added to this on page three the father talks about her 'playtime', then invites her to have what I assume is a drink with him. Confusing. - page 3: missing motivation for why Riley wants to one up her father. And why she thinks of him as 'Reginald' sometimes and 'father' or 'dad' other times. I'd like a bit more grounding on the father/daughter relationship early on, I think, before moving into plot. - page four helps with the above, but might be needed earlier. If I was bookstore browsing I wouldn't have gone much past the first two. Page four hooks me, and for me, should be earlier. - page five: paragraph that begins with 'Injury was unlikely' reads infodumpy - page six: moves too fast for world building, and not fast enough for real tension. Suggest focusing on one or the other - page seven: the more roof hopping Riley does, the more I want a really sound paragraph or two on imagery of her jumping. You have a bit of one a few pages up, but I'd love to get the sense of exhilaration, of landing on different types of roofs, of dealing with wind. I want to feel like it is me doing the jumping. - page eight: Hello, fortifier. I'll be shipping you this chapter. - page eight: 'apparently grew out his beard to appear older' is all kinds of awkward - page nine: Woah. Wait. Back the chemistry train up. What is she doing to the sodium? I need to have a better idea of what elra are before this happens, because this scene took me right out of the narrative and way past suspension of disbelief. - page eleven: Hrm. Was looking for more of a hook ending than the one provided. It'd be nice to get just a bit more on the 'lady' part, than the suggestion that her dad is going to get called for her misbehavior.

I did NOT space this week, and did the LBLs. Just sent them to you via e-mail. In general, I liked this, but I think it still needs some kick. I kept waiting for a twist with rex they were fighting, and was disappointed when it was very cut and dry fight scenes (although Pascal enjoying herself a little too much was fun). I like the Oz/Hayden tension a lot, and see the love triangle much more clearly in this new version. Still missing the Oz fighting his foster father thing. I think this chapter could use one extra oomph - a twist in the rex they let fight, someone gets hurt who is a named character, etc. It’s almost there, just needs a nudge.

Have fun @Mandamon!

Just the really basic kind wherein we pull fungi from wood, culture them, then sequence them. Nothing fancy, but we do get name new species pretty regularly!

I have a lot of thoughts about this, but am traveling and not in a good place to put my thoughts together coherently. Posting now to remind myself to do more later.