Socially Awkward Bookworms

[Condensation]

Just now, weiss_kwispies said:

Okay, that makes sense. I kind of thought it was just that, but I wanted to know what it actually was in case there was something I didn't know about. Thanks 

You're welcome!

[Frustration]

@Ookla the Rōnin you litterally sumerized the Entire Shard.

[Tesh]

53 minutes ago, weiss_kwispies said:

This might be a really dumb question, but the last time I was on the Shard was three years ago and I have absolutely no idea what a Shardbuddy is. Is it just acknowledging someone is a friend, or are there like special things you guys do? I've been really confused about this ever since I came back, and it's actually kind of funny because I've seen it mentioned so much and have just been confused the whole time.

I think it's a relatively new thing. I've been on pretty consistantly for about the past three years, and it's just popped up within the past few months. That I've seen, at least.

16 minutes ago, Ookla The Frustrated said:

@Ookla the Rōnin you litterally sumerized the Entire Shard.

Not everyone, as evidenced by @Ookla the Grammatical. (I do prefer to avoid stereotyping/generalizing, though, so... um... yeah?)

This is kind of tangentially related, but I've really been wanting to share this for a while, and haven't really been able to.

So, I haven't really been super open about this as it is a little personal (I'm not actively hiding it, either, though), but I think this is as good a time/place to share as any. I'm about 90% sure I have Asperger's, which is definitely the root of many of my social issues. (I say 90 as I haven't been officially diagnosed or anything, but I've put so much time into researching the subject that I'm pretty confident in this.)

It's a very misunderstood thing, and, honestly, it's fascinating. When I first started looking into it, everything I found that listed traits of aspies and the like as, in a way, a more extreme version of what I experience. But the more I looked into it (I do a lot of reading on psychology and stuff anyways), a few things came to my attention. The biggest one was that girls with Asperger's show that differently than boys do (and more boys have it than girls). So then I started doing research into Asperger's in girls, and it seemed like it described me very accurately, and explained a whole heck of a lot.

I have a really good video by this one guy that explains a lot about Asperger's in girls (he has a lot of other stuff as well, all of which is fantastic) if anyone is interested.

And if you want just a quick summary (I'll see if I can actually write something that's short for once) I'm more than willing to give that a go as well.

There you go! That's what I've tried saying dozens of times, but never really have before! Sorry if you didn't follow my train of thought- it was a little sporadic. And it's just a weird thing to come out and say!

Spoiler

And now I'm worried that I've said too much so I shall now retreat back into the shadows from whence I have crawled until I am summoned forth again...

[Frustration]

10 minutes ago, Ookla the Rōnin said:

I think it's a relatively new thing. I've been on pretty consistantly for about the past three years, and it's just popped up within the past few months. That I've seen, at least.

Not everyone, as evidenced by @Ookla the Grammatical. (I do prefer to avoid stereotyping/generalizing, though, so... um... yeah?)

This is kind of tangentially related, but I've really been wanting to share this for a while, and haven't really been able to.

So, I haven't really been super open about this as it is a little personal (I'm not actively hiding it, either, though), but I think this is as good a time/place to share as any. I'm about 90% sure I have Asperger's, which is definitely the root of many of my social issues. (I say 90 as I haven't been officially diagnosed or anything, but I've put so much time into researching the subject that I'm pretty confident in this.)

It's a very misunderstood thing, and, honestly, it's fascinating. When I first started looking into it, everything I found that listed traits of aspies and the like as, in a way, a more extreme version of what I experience. But the more I looked into it (I do a lot of reading on psychology and stuff anyways), a few things came to my attention. The biggest one was that girls with Asperger's show that differently than boys do (and more boys have it than girls). So then I started doing research into Asperger's in girls, and it seemed like it described me very accurately, and explained a whole heck of a lot.

I have a really good video by this one guy that explains a lot about Asperger's in girls (he has a lot of other stuff as well, all of which is fantastic) if anyone is interested.

And if you want just a quick summary (I'll see if I can actually write something that's short for once) I'm more than willing to give that a go as well.

There you go! That's what I've tried saying dozens of times, but never really have before! Sorry if you didn't follow my train of thought- it was a little sporadic. And it's just a weird thing to come out and say!

  Reveal hidden contents

And now I'm worried that I've said too much so I shall now retreat back into the shadows from whence I have crawled until I am summoned forth again...

Former Tesh, being weird is normal here, I mean if I can be popular here than anything is possible.

[Tesh]

5 minutes ago, Ookla The Frustrated said:

Former Tesh, being weird is normal here, I mean if I can be popular here than anything is possible.

Spoiler

I will always be Tesh, whether the moon turns inside out or the dinosaurs return, or if the Shard is destroyed or Brandon Sanderson dies, I shall always be Tesh.

That's the reason why I feel comfortable sharing this at all.

Edited December 8, 2020 by Ookla the Rōnin

[Flying]

1 minute ago, Ookla the Rōnin said:

I think it's a relatively new thing. I've been on pretty consistantly for about the past three years, and it's just popped up within the past few months. That I've seen, at least.

Not everyone, as evidenced by @Ookla the Grammatical. (I do prefer to avoid stereotyping/generalizing, though, so... um... yeah?)

This is kind of tangentially related, but I've really been wanting to share this for a while, and haven't really been able to.

So, I haven't really been super open about this as it is a little personal (I'm not actively hiding it, either, though), but I think this is as good a time/place to share as any. I'm about 90% sure I have Asperger's, which is definitely the root of many of my social issues. (I say 90 as I haven't been officially diagnosed or anything, but I've put so much time into researching the subject that I'm pretty confident in this.)

It's a very misunderstood thing, and, honestly, it's fascinating. When I first started looking into it, everything I found that listed traits of aspies and the like as, in a way, a more extreme version of what I experience. But the more I looked into it (I do a lot of reading on psychology and stuff anyways), a few things came to my attention. The biggest one was that girls with Asperger's show that differently than boys do (and more boys have it than girls). So then I started doing research into Asperger's in girls, and it seemed like it described me very accurately, and explained a whole heck of a lot.

I have a really good video by this one guy that explains a lot about Asperger's in girls (he has a lot of other stuff as well, all of which is fantastic) if anyone is interested.

And if you want just a quick summary (I'll see if I can actually write something that's short for once) I'm more than willing to give that a go as well.

There you go! That's what I've tried saying dozens of times, but never really have before! Sorry if you didn't follow my train of thought- it was a little sporadic. And it's just a weird thing to come out and say!

  Reveal hidden contents

And now I'm worried that I've said too much so I shall now retreat back into the shadows from whence I have crawled until I am summoned forth again...

I actually have an Asperger's diagnosis. I almost mentioned it in my first post on this thread (about my stories and stuff), but I decided against it because I thought it would be too random. But now I guess I can talk about it anyways. 

It's honestly hard for me to explain to people because it is so misunderstood. I feel like a lot of the facts about it are difficult to easily find on the Internet. I'm a girl who has been diagnosed with it, but it's hard telling people because they most associate Asperger's with how it appears in boys. Some people have even gone so far to tell me that I probably don't have it, but I have been diagnosed and have gone through testing so I know for sure that I do.

But, even though it's often misunderstood, I've kind of just accepted it as an important part of who I am. I like to think that social interaction is a video game and I'm playing it on hard mode, and because it's so difficult me, I've become proud of what I've accomplished. I'm extra skilled because I'm playing the game on the most difficult setting and somehow still surviving 

[+JesterLavorre]

2 hours ago, Ookla the Ethereal said:

when I’m comfortable speaking to them and initiating a conversation

Teach me your ways. 

[Flyingbooks]

How can a single thread title sum up my personality so accurately?

It's hard for me to reach out individually to people who I don't know since I have no idea what their interests are and I overthink what might happen if I talk to them, but I'm bad at understanding people even though I really, really want to. I guess that's one of the reasons why I like books. They let me understand people''s minds without even having to *gasp* talk to them. When I do get up the courage to try to reach out to people, I typically send out a message on the Skype group for one of my classes or a club that I'm part of about a book that I like in the hopes that somebody else also likes it and will talk to me about it. I'm typically very shy in conversations, but I get so excited about some things that my excitement overcomes my nervousness and words just come flooding out. In general, initiating any semi-social thing makes me go into overthinking panic-mode where I'm paralyzed by not knowing how people will react to what I say. Even as I write this post, it's been affecting me, since I've had this open for a while now without making any changes and I'm nervous to hit the "submit reply" button. I logically know that it'll be perfectly fine to post this, since other people here have many of the same problems with social interaction as I do, but there's a part of me that just won't stop panicking about social interactions.

[Tesh]

41 minutes ago, weiss_kwispies said:

I actually have an Asperger's diagnosis. I almost mentioned it in my first post on this thread (about my stories and stuff), but I decided against it because I thought it would be too random. But now I guess I can talk about it anyways. 

It's honestly hard for me to explain to people because it is so misunderstood. I feel like a lot of the facts about it are difficult to easily find on the Internet. I'm a girl who has been diagnosed with it, but it's hard telling people because they most associate Asperger's with how it appears in boys. Some people have even gone so far to tell me that I probably don't have it, but I have been diagnosed and have gone through testing so I know for sure that I do.

But, even though it's often misunderstood, I've kind of just accepted it as an important part of who I am. I like to think that social interaction is a video game and I'm playing it on hard mode, and because it's so difficult me, I've become proud of what I've accomplished. I'm extra skilled because I'm playing the game on the most difficult setting and somehow still surviving 

This is a greatt video I have found on the subject. It's fantastic.

Spoiler

 

It really helped me when I started doing all sorts of research into it, though, and recognizing why some weird things about me were weird. Like the fact that I learned how people think by reading books? That was a conclusion I had reached in elementary school, but only attributed it to Asperger's in particular when I started looking into it. 

When you've always felt out of place, it's very nice knowing why that is. 

(It is really nice to hear from another person who has had (at least in part) an experience similar to my own in this regard. Thanks for sharing.)

[+JesterLavorre]

2 minutes ago, Flyingbooks42 said:

How can a single thread title sum up my personality so accurately?

It's hard for me to reach out individually to people who I don't know since I have no idea what their interests are and I overthink what might happen if I talk to them, but I'm bad at understanding people even though I really, really want to. I guess that's one of the reasons why I like books. They let me understand people''s minds without even having to *gasp* talk to them. When I do get up the courage to try to reach out to people, I typically send out a message on the Skype group for one of my classes or a club that I'm part of about a book that I like in the hopes that somebody else also likes it and will talk to me about it. I'm typically very shy in conversations, but I get so excited about some things that my excitement overcomes my nervousness and words just come flooding out. In general, initiating any semi-social thing makes me go into overthinking panic-mode where I'm paralyzed by not knowing how people will react to what I say. Even as I write this post, it's been affecting me, since I've had this open for a while now without making any changes and I'm nervous to hit the "submit reply" button. I logically know that it'll be perfectly fine to post this, since other people here have many of the same problems with social interaction as I do, but there's a part of me that just won't stop panicking about social interactions.

I think this is why Adolin in particular is one of my favorite Stormlight characters. He’s so good at reading and understanding people around him, and he’s not afraid to socialize. It’s relaxing just to read from his point of view.

[Tesh]

Sorry for the double post...

1 minute ago, Flyingbooks42 said:

How can a single thread title sum up my personality so accurately?

It's hard for me to reach out individually to people who I don't know since I have no idea what their interests are and I overthink what might happen if I talk to them, but I'm bad at understanding people even though I really, really want to. I guess that's one of the reasons why I like books. They let me understand people''s minds without even having to *gasp* talk to them. When I do get up the courage to try to reach out to people, I typically send out a message on the Skype group for one of my classes or a club that I'm part of about a book that I like in the hopes that somebody else also likes it and will talk to me about it. I'm typically very shy in conversations, but I get so excited about some things that my excitement overcomes my nervousness and words just come flooding out. In general, initiating any semi-social thing makes me go into overthinking panic-mode where I'm paralyzed by not knowing how people will react to what I say. Even as I write this post, it's been affecting me, since I've had this open for a while now without making any changes and I'm nervous to hit the "submit reply" button. I logically know that it'll be perfectly fine to post this, since other people here have many of the same problems with social interaction as I do, but there's a part of me that just won't stop panicking about social interactions.

I am practically the exact same way! Especially when it comes to talking a lot about books. And getting nervous before posting something like that...  (Seriously, no judgement here on anything you say. At all.)

4 minutes ago, Ookla the Sprinkle said:

I think this is why Adolin in particular is one of my favorite Stormlight characters. He’s so good at reading and understanding people around him, and he’s not afraid to socialize. It’s relaxing just to read from his point of view.

Relaxing is a great word to use to describe it.

[The Awakened Salad]

29 minutes ago, Flyingbooks42 said:

Even as I write this post, it's been affecting me, since I've had this open for a while now without making any changes and I'm nervous to hit the "submit reply" button. I logically know that it'll be perfectly fine to post this, since other people here have many of the same problems with social interaction as I do, but there's a part of me that just won't stop panicking about social interactions.

^All of this. I can’t count the number of times I’ve been too nervous to post and have deleted what I wrote instead of hitting submit. 

(case in point: this post)

Edited December 8, 2020 by Ookla the Ethereal

[Aspiring Writer]

Definition of my life, though I have been lucky enough to find outcasts like myself to be friends with, and this is excluding the ones on the SHard.

[Bearer of all agonies]

@all of the Shard

Heyyallwhatsupimanakwardbookwormlikeyoubecausereasons

[Shard of Reading]

So, I'm a book nerd. And I don't like talking with people I don't know. (I'm fine socializing once I consider them to be my friends, but I'm not going to go out of my way to talk to people and get to know them.) *Retreats into corner with pile of books*

Edited December 8, 2020 by Ookla the Bored

[Vapor]

7 hours ago, Ookla the Ethereal said:

^All of this. I can’t count the number of times I’ve been too nervous to post and have deleted what I wrote instead of hitting submit. 

(case in point: this post)

I ^^ your ^.

[Cosmical Existence]

(even though everyone else has already said it, and repeating things other people say is hard for me, I'm just going to say it) 

Oof, I feel so called out by that title. 

And everything. I feel everything everyone has said here. I am the worst at social interactions, and everything that I've learned has come from reading, or intensely studying human beings in their natural habitat. I don't feel like I have any friends, and even here on the Shard I'm always afraid to join groups because I'm afraid everyone is thinking in their heads "what is this person doing here? we didn't invite her."  I often say I'm a vampire, not because I'm afraid of the light, but because I need an invitation to do everything. And I mean everything. It's the worst. 

Reading is my only safe place. 

[Chasmgoat]

I just want to say, I am a bookworm but I am not socially awkward. Everyone else is too awkwardly social.

[Trutharchivist]

12 hours ago, Ookla the Rōnin said:

Two questions:

How do you respond when someone calls you smart? You can't say that you're not, because then they insist. And if you say thanks, it sounds a little like you have a high opinion of yourself.

And at what point do you consider someone a friend? (I'm just curious.)

 

Now, I am a bookworm like everyone here. And I'm not exactly socially awkward, nor am I socially adept. I'm somewhere in the middle. But the first question caught me, and so, I'll answer it in the name of me from different ages:

Me at 14-15: takes out a pencil, starts pursuing the person daring call him "smart". He's definitely not smart, and everyone should know that.

Me at 16-17: gets annoyed, maybe shouts that no, he's not smart, stop saying that!

Me at 18-present day: probably like vapor, acknowledging something was said yet not truly referring it in any way.

About the second question, I don't really know. There were this kids, and then one day I realize they are my friends. Oh well.

I probably am not an asperger, but I am a little hypochondriac, and there was a time I thought I was an asperger. I also sometimes feel awkward about social interactions and overthink them, but I still don't think I can be counted as socially awkward.

[Tesh]

1 hour ago, Ookla the Empyreal said:

(even though everyone else has already said it, and repeating things other people say is hard for me, I'm just going to say it) 

Oof, I feel so called out by that title. 

And everything. I feel everything everyone has said here. I am the worst at social interactions, and everything that I've learned has come from reading, or intensely studying human beings in their natural habitat. I don't feel like I have any friends, and even here on the Shard I'm always afraid to join groups because I'm afraid everyone is thinking in their heads "what is this person doing here? we didn't invite her."  I often say I'm a vampire, not because I'm afraid of the light, but because I need an invitation to do everything. And I mean everything. It's the worst. 

Reading is my only safe place. 

*hugs*

I feel pretty confident that I can speak for all of the Shard on this: I extend an invitation to you for all the roleplays and social groups and everything like that. You don't need to join any of them if you don't want, but know that we're more than willing to have you.

Spoiler

(If you want to join a roleplay, might I suggest Let's find a dragon? We're just getting rolling (... pun intended, I guess), and there's a lot of overlap between the people on there and the people who have commented on here.)

But consider yourself officially invited.

If you ever need anything, let me (or probably anyone else on here) know. All of can see where you're coming from, and many of us have had similar experiences. (This goes for everyone, by the way.)

I relate to your post in particular, though. (I call myself a vampire sometimes, too.) I'll often join something, like a conversation or a group on here, and then after getting the sense that I'm not welcome (which almost always happens, even though I don't know if it's an accurate impression or not, due to the fact that social ques are rusting complicated), I just sort of disappear. I avoid things like stake dances and game nights, club meetings for school, working with people who don't know me, and stuff like that. And books are a great way to just... Not have to worry. It's so much easier to read a book than it is to have a conversation where you have to watch your own responses to things as well as what other people are doing.

[Flyingbooks]

10 hours ago, Ookla the Rōnin said:

This is a greatt video I have found on the subject. It's fantastic.

  Reveal hidden contents

 

It really helped me when I started doing all sorts of research into it, though, and recognizing why some weird things about me were weird. Like the fact that I learned how people think by reading books? That was a conclusion I had reached in elementary school, but only attributed it to Asperger's in particular when I started looking into it. 

When you've always felt out of place, it's very nice knowing why that is. 

(It is really nice to hear from another person who has had (at least in part) an experience similar to my own in this regard. Thanks for sharing.)

The video describes me really well (I'm biologically female, but identify as gender-neutral, which I guess just further reinforces it). I think I was diagnosed with being on the autism spectrum because I saw that on a medical/official-seeming paper in my house a few years ago, but I need to find the piece of paper to make sure that I remember correctly.

[Cosmical Existence]

Thanks @Ookla the Rōnin, that means a lot to me.

I'm looking at your rp. It looks like fun. I'll make a character and join.  

[Tesh]

3 minutes ago, Ookla the Empyreal said:

Thanks @Ookla the Rōnin, that means a lot to me.

Of course! *tips hat*

4 minutes ago, Ookla the Empyreal said:

I'm looking at your rp. It looks like fun. I'll make a character and join.  

Yay! I'll see you there!

[Condensation]

13 hours ago, Ookla the Rōnin said:

Not everyone, as evidenced by @Ookla the Grammatical. (I do prefer to avoid stereotyping/generalizing, though, so... um... yeah?)

 And this is why I have an Ask Connie For Advice thread. Because I like to think I'm pretty good at it!

[Tesh]

2 hours ago, More Cynical Than Funny said:

I have found my new home.

Hi!

*waves*

Edited December 8, 2020 by Ookla the Rōnin