Certified Gay Disasters

[Hmmm lies]

My goal is to be every transfem stereotype ever. So, let's get started on that. :3

 

Also I've noticed that I like girls even more now that I'm out of the egg.

Naive idiot egg me: I'm pretty happy now, but when I have a girlfriend, I'll be happier than I've ever been in my life.

Me now: I'm happier than I've ever been in my life, and when I have a girlfriend, I'll be happier than is actually possible.

[Koloss17]

19 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

My goal is to be every transfem stereotype ever. So, let's get started on that. :3

 

Also I've noticed that I like girls even more now that I'm out of the egg.

Naive idiot egg me: I'm pretty happy now, but when I have a girlfriend, I'll be happier than I've ever been in my life.

Me now: I'm happier than I've ever been in my life, and when I have a girlfriend, I'll be happier than is actually possible.

It’s actually insane how I went from “yeah, I like girls, typical straight things” to “omg GIRLS. I am way too gay to even be on the same planet as women, I need a gf so baaaad”

It is wild how coming out gender-wise can affect how you express your sexuality.

[The Aspiring Archivist]

1 hour ago, Block said:

If alloromantic is the opposite of aromatic, couldn't you just, not specify that? I'm assuming that alloromantic means that you feel romantic feelings, so if you just don't specify that I feel like it's just already implied. Could someone help explain this to me?

I think basically it's best not to assume. Not to mention that among people who do have romantic feelings there's a lot of variation (i.e. demiromantic, gray-romantic)

[Quivil]

Question, just for curiosity's sake:

What's the difference between being in the closet and being in the egg? Are they different?

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood]

21 minutes ago, Quivil said:

Question, just for curiosity's sake:

What's the difference between being in the closet and being in the egg? Are they different?

I think I might have an answer, even though I’m straight. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.

Being in a closet could be like being ashamed of being x while knowing you are x. Egg might be that you haven’t grown into the idea yet or haven’t thought of yourself as x yet.

[The Aspiring Archivist]

12 minutes ago, Thaidakar the Ghostblood said:

I think I might have an answer, even though I’m straight. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.

Being in a closet could be like being ashamed of being x while knowing you are x. Egg might be that you haven’t grown into the idea yet or haven’t thought of yourself as x yet.

I think that's close, though being in the closet doesn't have to mean you're ashamed. Some people are afraid to come out because  they're unsure, because of how people might react, or other environmental factors.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood]

3 minutes ago, The Aspiring Archivist said:

I think that's close, though being in the closet doesn't have to mean you're ashamed. Some people are afraid to come out because  they're unsure, because of how people might react, or other environmental factors.

Yeah, there we go.

[Hmmm lies]

Wait, if there is alloromantic and allosexual, is there also feruromantic and ferusexual?

Bad Mistborn pun aside, question for y'all cis folks: Do you never question your gender for more than like a few seconds? I'm not having any self-doubt or anything, I'm just going to be making some resources for people who might think they are trans, and want to make sure they are accurate. 

[The Aspiring Archivist]

13 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

Wait, if there is alloromantic and allosexual, is there also feruromantic and ferusexual?

Bad Mistborn pun aside, question for y'all cis folks: Do you never question your gender for more than like a few seconds? I'm not having any self-doubt or anything, I'm just going to be making some resources for people who might think they are trans, and want to make sure they are accurate. 

Hmm... I was going to answer this but then I remembered that I don't really strongly relate to any gender? 

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood]

On 5/5/2024 at 7:35 PM, Hmmm lies said:

Wait, if there is alloromantic and allosexual, is there also feruromantic and ferusexual?

Bad Mistborn pun aside, question for y'all cis folks: Do you never question your gender for more than like a few seconds? I'm not having any self-doubt or anything, I'm just going to be making some resources for people who might think they are trans, and want to make sure they are accurate. 

XD what about hemaromantic and hemalursexual? Would that mean you’re spiking someone else’s gender or sexuality into yourself? (We’re going to ignore how wrong that sounds)

I have questioned my gender before, not often, but there have been times. Each and every time, however, there has been one thing in common. I’ve felt that the thoughts have not come from a genuine place of feeling that I am a woman, but from a place of insecurity, a place of darkness, a place of not loving myself. Those feelings were not true for me, they were not good for me. Other people, you for example, have had and are having good experiences with this, and that is wonderful! I myself am not someone who has genuinely felt these things.

I am immensely grateful that I never acted on those feelings and thoughts because, as time has progressed, I have grown into liking myself, feeling more secure over who I am, and have felt like I am a son of God. With all of those things has come a realization of my biggest life goal. I want to, above all else, get married and become a father. If I had acted in those false thoughts, I would not have the chance to become a father at some point in the future. 

In summary, I have questioned my gender and I think about it occasionally, but each time I always come out of the train of thought thinking that I am male, have always been male and will always be male. So I guess there’s your answer

(now, if we’re talking about gay tho, then I have one word for you. Aziraphale)

Edited Monday at 12:05 AM by Thaidakar the Ghostblood

[Quivil]

What does aziphrale mean? Google thinks I'm asking for a different word and I don't know how to make it not.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood]

55 minutes ago, Quivil said:

What does aziphrale mean? Google thinks I'm asking for a different word and I don't know how to make it not.

A character from Good Omens. 

[The Aspiring Archivist]

1 hour ago, Quivil said:

What does aziphrale mean? Google thinks I'm asking for a different word and I don't know how to make it not.

 

38 minutes ago, Thaidakar the Ghostblood said:

A character from Good Omens. 

I believe Thaid meant Aziraphale. Great show, that

[Koloss17]

Neil Gaiman, one of the best authors out there.

 

Gaiman truly knows how to book.

[ShrubSeph]

On 4/29/2024 at 6:45 PM, Block said:

If alloromantic is the opposite of aromatic, couldn't you just, not specify that? I'm assuming that alloromantic means that you feel romantic feelings, so if you just don't specify that I feel like it's just already implied. Could someone help explain this to me?

The usual assumption is that most people's romantic and sexual identities align, so it might be assumed that someone who says they are asexual is also aromantic unless they specify otherwise (I know a lot of people who conflate the terms).

 

On 4/30/2024 at 3:54 PM, Quivil said:

Question, just for curiosity's sake:

What's the difference between being in the closet and being in the egg? Are they different?

I was under the impression that the closeted person is someone who doesn't know/isn't out about their sexuality, while an egg is someone who doesn't know/isn't out about their gender. 

 

On 5/5/2024 at 8:35 PM, Hmmm lies said:

question for y'all cis folks: Do you never question your gender for more than like a few seconds? I'm not having any self-doubt or anything, I'm just going to be making some resources for people who might think they are trans, and want to make sure they are accurate. 

I've questioned my gender quite a bit (I'm a cis guy) but I'm pretty sure I'm cis because my attraction to other men is very gay.

[Hmmm lies]

Okay there's been a lot of confusion on egg vs closet lately, so here's what I'm fairly certain is correct.

An egg is a trans person who doesn't know they are trans yet, meanwhile a closeted person is someone who is either not cisgender or not heterosexual/romantic, and has not told everyone yet (for example, I'm still closeted even though I'm out to three people, since most people don't know I'm trans)

[AonEne]

On 4/29/2024 at 6:45 PM, Block said:

If alloromantic is the opposite of aromatic, couldn't you just, not specify that? I'm assuming that alloromantic means that you feel romantic feelings, so if you just don't specify that I feel like it's just already implied. Could someone help explain this to me?

The thing is, it shouldn't be implied! I'm of the opinion that we shouldn't just default to straight, cisgender, neurotypical/allistic, able-bodied, etc. as the norm. We have these words so that we aren't just saying "non-trans people" or "non-aspec people" all the time - that implies that being queer, neurodivergent/autistic, disabled, etc. is the weird thing, while "normal" people don't need any language to describe themselves because it should be assumed until told otherwise. 

On 5/16/2024 at 7:56 PM, Hmmm lies said:

Okay there's been a lot of confusion on egg vs closet lately, so here's what I'm fairly certain is correct.

An egg is a trans person who doesn't know they are trans yet, meanwhile a closeted person is someone who is either not cisgender or not heterosexual/romantic, and has not told everyone yet (for example, I'm still closeted even though I'm out to three people, since most people don't know I'm trans)

^^ this, imo. Any queer person can be in the closet, it's just not being out, whether you know what you are or not. Eggs are specifically trans and don't know (or suspect, but haven't accepted) who they are. 

[Block]

On 5/18/2024 at 12:03 AM, AonEne said:

The thing is, it shouldn't be implied! I'm of the opinion that we shouldn't just default to straight, cisgender, neurotypical/allistic, able-bodied, etc. as the norm. We have these words so that we aren't just saying "non-trans people" or "non-aspec people" all the time - that implies that being queer, neurodivergent/autistic, disabled, etc. is the weird thing, while "normal" people don't need any language to describe themselves because it should be assumed until told otherwise. 

I get what you're saying that it shouldn't be implied, but it is being implied. That's just how most people think right now so even if it shouldn't be, it is. So I think it's good that the terms are there if people start thinking differently, but right now they really aren't needed.

Edited May 21 by Block

[The Awakened Salad]

On 5/22/2024 at 2:07 AM, Block said:

I get what you're saying that it shouldn't be implied, but it is being implied. That's just how most people think right now so even if it shouldn't be, it is. So I think it's good that the terms are there if people start thinking differently, but right now they really aren't needed.

Disagree on this, change doesn’t happen unless people make an active effort to change their behaviour and language. People don’t start thinking differently on their own, we need to have those conversations and bring awareness to other identities, and defining and using these terms is a great way to get started on that. 

Edited Sunday at 06:39 AM by The Awakened Salad

[AonEne]

On 5/21/2024 at 10:37 AM, Block said:

I get what you're saying that it shouldn't be implied, but it is being implied. That's just how most people think right now so even if it shouldn't be, it is. So I think it's good that the terms are there if people start thinking differently, but right now they really aren't needed.

Salad put it very well, people not thinking that way right now is exactly why these terms are needed - how else will there be space to change? 

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood]

On the subject of terminology, I would, without stating my own opinion on it as it is in too unformed a state to be spoken of, ask what all of your thoughts on the idea of regarding, say, trans women and women as two separate genders? I heard it in a Ben Shapiro video once and thought it was an interesting idea that is, at the very least, worth some thought.

[The cheeseman]

On 5/5/2024 at 9:35 PM, Hmmm lies said:

Bad Mistborn pun aside, question for y'all cis folks: Do you never question your gender for more than like a few seconds? I'm not having any self-doubt or anything, I'm just going to be making some resources for people who might think they are trans, and want to make sure they are accurate. 

My gender? No. Not once. My sexuality? A little, yeah. But at this point in my life, I am very much a straight man.

[Hmmm lies]

3 hours ago, Thaidakar the Ghostblood said:

On the subject of terminology, I would, without stating my own opinion on it as it is in too unformed a state to be spoken of, ask what all of your thoughts on the idea of regarding, say, trans women and women as two separate genders? I heard it in a Ben Shapiro video once and thought it was an interesting idea that is, at the very least, worth some thought.

No. Just no.

And we do not appreciate that person.

Edited Monday at 01:33 AM by Hmmm lies

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood]

Just now, Hmmm lies said:

No. Just no.

Fair lol. 

I think it's a good idea in some ways, but also a bad idea in a lot of others. It has merits, but it has downsides. There are lots of ways an argument for it or against it could go. 

2 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

And we do not appreciate that person.

lol that's fair too. I like him, for a good lot of reasons that I won't go into rn.

[AonEne]

6 hours ago, Thaidakar the Ghostblood said:

On the subject of terminology, I would, without stating my own opinion on it as it is in too unformed a state to be spoken of, ask what all of your thoughts on the idea of regarding, say, trans women and women as two separate genders? I heard it in a Ben Shapiro video once and thought it was an interesting idea that is, at the very least, worth some thought.

They aren't two separate genders, that's simply not how gender works. I don't need to give it thought because the answer is easy. I don't see a single merit (if you're thinking of "superstraight", that isn't a thing, it's an excuse for people to be transphobic; happy to explain more if needed). In addition to being factually incorrect, it's rhetoric used to harm trans people, and there is nothing good about it. 

Ben Shapiro is, in my opinion, not a good person; he spreads misinformation and hate. Many of the things he says would get him moderated or outright banned on our platforms.

Please don't endorse his beliefs on this website; even the ones that aren't outright political (we discourage politics on the Shard) are often very harmful and against our Code of Conduct in other ways.