Certified Gay Disasters

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

10 hours ago, Wittles said:

What's the Wolverine reference mean? I'm so confused lol

But I agree

let the gay be unleashed

Idk nothing in particular, just meaning go wild

[Hoid Slayer He/Him]

So… not exactly gay… but definitely confused. Maybe you guys can help me out?

I think might be aro hetero, but I’m not really sure…

I’m definitely physically attracted to people (suffice it to say I’m clearly not ace) but I don’t feel like I’ve ever really had a “crush” on anyone. It’s like, I find people hot, but nothing about their personality attracts me beyond just friendship. Maybe this is just me having high standards, but I can’t help but sometimes feel there’s something kind of wrong with me (as cliché as that sounds).

So… yeah. That’s me. Thanks for reading, I’ve never actually told anyone this before, so I needed to get it down.

[Hmmm lies she/her]

3 hours ago, Hoid_Slayer said:

So… not exactly gay… but definitely confused. Maybe you guys can help me out?

I think might be aro hetero, but I’m not really sure…

I’m definitely physically attracted to people (suffice it to say I’m clearly not ace) but I don’t feel like I’ve ever really had a “crush” on anyone. It’s like, I find people hot, but nothing about their personality attracts me beyond just friendship. Maybe this is just me having high standards, but I can’t help but sometimes feel there’s something kind of wrong with me (as cliché as that sounds).

So… yeah. That’s me. Thanks for reading, I’ve never actually told anyone this before, so I needed to get it down.

Glad that you could feel confident enough to post this here!

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being aromantic while still being allosexual! (Allosexual is the word for someone who feels sexual attraction to others, opposite of asexual.)

In fact, while no large studies have been done, the current evidence suggests that around 25-50% of aromantic people are still allosexual. 

 

Feel free to ask here if there's anything else about this you're worrying about!

[Wittles he/him]

On 2/23/2025 at 8:47 AM, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

Idk nothing in particular, just meaning go wild

alr

[Keke They/he]

16 hours ago, Hoid_Slayer said:

So… not exactly gay… but definitely confused. Maybe you guys can help me out?

I think might be aro hetero, but I’m not really sure…

I’m definitely physically attracted to people (suffice it to say I’m clearly not ace) but I don’t feel like I’ve ever really had a “crush” on anyone. It’s like, I find people hot, but nothing about their personality attracts me beyond just friendship. Maybe this is just me having high standards, but I can’t help but sometimes feel there’s something kind of wrong with me (as cliché as that sounds).

So… yeah. That’s me. Thanks for reading, I’ve never actually told anyone this before, so I needed to get it down.

Hmmmmm

*puts on glasses over my glasses*

honestly the best i can give you is, people are gonna change a lot. Sometimes it takes many times to get it right. Time is important and doing research and everything about different .. cores… sections.. parts of the community can very much help you in this journey. 

If your aro, JOIN THE PARTY AYYYYYY ARO4LIFE

if your hetero, thats awesome! Girls do be fine sometimes

if your not aro, i hope you fall in looooveeeee with some prtty girlie 

if your anything, WE LOVE YOU HOID_SLAYER WOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

*HUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSS*

if your an alien, WHATS ANOHTER PLANET LIKE

[Hoid Slayer He/Him]

4 hours ago, Clinically insane said:

if your an alien, WHATS ANOHTER PLANET LIKE

Cold. And distant. And full of bagels. Did I mention how cold it was?

[Keke They/he]

18 minutes ago, Hoid_Slayer said:

Cold. And distant. And full of bagels. Did I mention how cold it was?

Mmmmhhhh

so basically Wyoming?

[Hoid Slayer He/Him]

2 hours ago, Clinically insane said:

Mmmmhhhh

so basically Wyoming?

Maybe?  Never been to Wyoming, but the US can definitely seem like a different planet sometimes, especially with current events

 

Edit: Actually, maybe I have been to Wyoming… is that where Yellowstone is?

Edited February 25, 2025 by Hoid_Slayer

[Keke They/he]

2 minutes ago, Hoid_Slayer said:

Maybe?  Never been to Wyoming, but the US can definitely seem like a different planet sometimes, especially with current events

 

Edit: Actually, maybe I have been to Wyoming… is that where Yellowstone is?

Like 1/3 of it.

Its in 3 states

[Entr0pic He/him]

Hello everyone! I saw this thread and thought: I’m gay (well bi, but same difference) and a distaster, so yeah.

 

Edited March 3, 2025 by Entr0pic

[Keke They/he]

18 hours ago, Entr0pic said:

Hello everyone! I saw this thread and thought: I’m gay (well bi, but same difference) and a distaster, so yeah.

 

WOOOHOOO

we love gays ,gays being a general term.

WELCOME

im trying to get this thread more active but it isn’t working.

I dub thee

bi bro

[Entr0pic He/him]

7 minutes ago, Clinically insane said:

WOOOHOOO

we love gays ,gays being a general term.

WELCOME

im trying to get this thread more active but it isn’t working.

I dub thee

bi bro

I shall accept this title with grace and honor, my friend. 

[Keke They/he]

Just now, Entr0pic said:

I shall accept this title with grace and honor, my friend. 

Sweet.

[Hmmm lies she/her]

1 hour ago, Clinically insane said:

WOOOHOOO

we love gays ,gays being a general term.

WELCOME

im trying to get this thread more active but it isn’t working.

I dub thee

bi bro

I'd love this place to be more active, but idk what to talk about.

[Keke They/he]

21 hours ago, Hmmm lies said:

I'd love this place to be more active, but idk what to talk about.

Yeah…

that seems to be an issue……

uh since we got a lot of new people should we do like intros?

Edited March 5, 2025 by Clinically insane

[shortcake thr/eat ka/boom]

okay for like 2ish years I've been genderfluid with a preference for they/them pronouns so technically nonbinary, but like I don't care how people perceive me

and I only just now found out that apagender is a thing... and it fits me pretty well with things, I feel like? but would it still be apagender if I prefer they/them? Im not like, set on they/them pronouns, since I don't care what pronouns people use for me...

Im stuck haha

(found out from @Clinically insane's signature, by the way)

Edited March 6, 2025 by shortcake

[Keke They/he]

1 minute ago, shortcake said:

okay for like 2ish years I've been genderfluid with a preference for they/them pronouns so technically nonbinary, but like I don't care how people perceive me

and I only just now found out that apagender is a thing... and it fits me pretty well with things, I feel like? but would it still be apagender if I prefer they/them? Im not like, set on they/them pronouns, since I don't care what pronouns people use for me...

Im stuck haha

(found out from @Clinically insane's signature, by the way)

So…. They/them is for someone who is neither gender but still A gender

genderapathetic is not feeling you fit with any gender.

For instance i dont feeel like any gender so i let people call me whatever so long as it makes them feel comfortable

im no pro on this and it could be completely wrong.

Im not trying to say that your not right.

pls dont take it that way. If thats how you feel then thats how it is. I would ask @Hmmm lies cause she seems more experienced on this.

feel free to correct me.

this actually leads to a question I’ve had

is genderapathetic the right one for letting others choose how they see you?

[shortcake thr/eat ka/boom]

1 minute ago, Clinically insane said:

So…. They/them is for someone who is neither gender but still A gender

genderapathetic is not feeling you fit with any gender.

For instance i dont feeel like any gender so i let people call me whatever so long as it makes them feel comfortable

im no pro on this and it could be completely wrong.

Im not trying to say that your not right.

pls dont take it that way. If thats how you feel then thats how it is. I would ask @Hmmm lies cause she seems more experienced on this.

feel free to correct me.

this actually leads to a question I’ve had

is genderapathetic the right one for letting others choose how they see you?

I'm pretty sure genderapathetic is when you don't necessarily fit with any gender

might be wrong

I looked it up when I saw it in your signature

There are various gender identities, including nonbinary, an umbrella term referring to people who do not exclusively identify as male or female. Even within the nonbinary umbrella, a person may choose various terms to describe their gender identity, such as gender apathetic.

Gender apathetic, or apagender, individuals don’t strongly connect with any particular gender label. In fact, they are indifferent toward their gender identity and may not even care about what gender they come across as to others. 

 

got that from https://www.charliehealth.com/post/what-does-it-mean-to-be-gender-apathetic

[Keke They/he]

1 minute ago, shortcake said:

I'm pretty sure genderapathetic is when you don't necessarily fit with any gender

might be wrong

I looked it up when I saw it in your signature

Yeah. I dont really feel any gender so i let people call me whatever makes them feel more comfortable. If its better your friends with a guy then think im a guy if it makes you more cofortabke to think im a girl then im a girl.

though I think i may lean more towards guy but i dunno

[shortcake thr/eat ka/boom]

6 minutes ago, Clinically insane said:

Yeah. I dont really feel any gender so i let people call me whatever makes them feel more comfortable. If its better your friends with a guy then think im a guy if it makes you more cofortabke to think im a girl then im a girl.

though I think i may lean more towards guy but i dunno

that makes sense

I always just told people I'm genderfluid because I'll respond to like literally anything, but then there's the issue that sometimes my friends will ask what pronouns I wanna use for that day, and then when I respond with "I don't really know, nor do I necessarily care" they get frustrated and confused. I got scolded by a friend for referring to myself as genderfuid because apparently I'm not a "real" genderfluid if I don't use different pronouns every day... I don't see how that makes sense though, because since when has there been rules with your gender???

I just wish I had a gender neutral name

and my family is homophobis so its not exactly like I could just change my name

I usually present more masc but it confuses people since I have long hair and a feminine face, and sometimes I wear makeup

I was born female and like I don't mind being referred to as a female, but then Ill wear a binder and then I feel more... me.

I'll still respond to any pronouns though

I know I'm not trans though.

Edited March 6, 2025 by shortcake

[Keke They/he]

1 minute ago, shortcake said:

that makes sense

I always just told people I'm genderfluid because I'll respond to like literally anything, but then there's the issue that sometimes my friends will ask what pronouns I wanna use for that day, and then when I respond with "I don't really know, nor do I necessarily care" they get frustrated and confused. I got scolded by a friend for referring to myself as genderfuid because apparently I'm not a "real" genderfluid if I don't use different pronouns every day... I don't see how that makes sense though, because since when has there been rules with your gender???

I just wish I had a gender neutral name

and my family is homophobis so its not exactly like I could just change my name

I usually present more masc but it confuses people since I have long hair and a feminine face, and sometimes I wear makeup

I was born female and like I don't mind being referred to as a female, but then Ill wear a binder and then I feel more... me.

I'll still respond to any pronouns though

I know I'm not trans though.

Hey i wear a binder too! 

Yeah luckily i was born with a pretty gender neutral name, but i go by hawks everywhere but home and church cause it feels more me.

It was a jump buying the binder and cutting my hair and my mom was annoyed i wanted really short hair and was sus of my binder. She thinks im still her straight good girl.

im still trying to find the best way to properly tell my friends i wanna go by hawks.

[shortcake thr/eat ka/boom]

3 minutes ago, Clinically insane said:

Hey i wear a binder too! 

Yeah luckily i was born with a pretty gender neutral name, but i go by hawks everywhere but home and church cause it feels more me.

It was a jump buying the binder and cutting my hair and my mom was annoyed i wanted really short hair and was sus of my binder. She thinks im still her straight good girl.

im still trying to find the best way to properly tell my friends i wanna go by hawks.

I've actually shaved my head like three times and my grandma didn't think anything of it

dye my hair once though and she makes a scene

I've told people in the past that I wanted to go by Fin and some people have been okay with that but it's mainly because I just introduced myself as that rather than my name

I was named after the good witch from diablo and it's a very pretty name

and that's another issue about it, is that my mom really likes the name and I don't want to offend her

she knows about me being genderfluid/non-binary

if you're confused, I live with my grandmother but I still have contact with my mom

[Keke They/he]

18 minutes ago, shortcake said:

I've actually shaved my head like three times and my grandma didn't think anything of it

dye my hair once though and she makes a scene

I've told people in the past that I wanted to go by Fin and some people have been okay with that but it's mainly because I just introduced myself as that rather than my name

I was named after the good witch from diablo and it's a very pretty name

and that's another issue about it, is that my mom really likes the name and I don't want to offend her

she knows about me being genderfluid/non-binary

if you're confused, I live with my grandmother but I still have contact with my mom

If i told my mom i was genderapathetic she would die

i was named after my 4th great grandpa who I was an important leader of my church so i feel not wanting to offend people.

Dying hair is very normal in my family so when i want a color change its like oh ok.

cutting my long hair i loved off was like uhhh what.

[shortcake thr/eat ka/boom]

25 minutes ago, Clinically insane said:

If i told my mom i was genderapathetic she would die

i was named after my 4th great grandpa who I was an important leader of my church so i feel not wanting to offend people.

Dying hair is very normal in my family so when i want a color change its like oh ok.

cutting my long hair i loved off was like uhhh what.

my grandma was actually the one who suggested having me have short hair and oh my god it didn't not suit me

she let my older sister dye her hair all the time but once I wanted to dye my hair, she was like "only if you do it at your mom's" and so we dyed my hair light pink and now she won't let my dye it ever again while I'm living here

which is another reason I'm so excited to get out of this house

[Hmmm lies she/her]

55 minutes ago, Clinically insane said:

So…. They/them is for someone who is neither gender but still A gender

genderapathetic is not feeling you fit with any gender.

For instance i dont feeel like any gender so i let people call me whatever so long as it makes them feel comfortable

im no pro on this and it could be completely wrong.

Im not trying to say that your not right.

pls dont take it that way. If thats how you feel then thats how it is. I would ask @Hmmm lies cause she seems more experienced on this.

feel free to correct me.

this actually leads to a question I’ve had

is genderapathetic the right one for letting others choose how they see you?

Aww, thanks. I am a bit of a nerd about gender.

They/them can be used for bigender people, agender people (I've never heard the term gender apathetic before, but it sounds kinda like agender, except without dysphoria.), gender-fluid people, systems, xenogendered people, and just about anyone non-binary who wants to.

It should be noted that the term non-binary just refers to any gender identity that is not "Just male" or "Just female". And I also saw someone here was confused about their gender but called themselves "not trans", but I think you might be conflating the term "trans" with "binary trans". The former just means your gender identity is not the same as your gender assigned at birth, while the latter refers to when someone's gender identity is the "other" gender compared to what they were assigned at birth (Like yours truly). Non-binary people are trans, since they identify with something different then what they were assigned at birth. 

 

I don't want to assume anything, or tell you what your identity is, @shortcake, but from what you've said, this apagender label seems like it would fit you better than the genderfluid label. Again, please don't take what I'm saying as fact, even if I do know a lot about gender, you are the only one who really knows you. I'd still do some introspection, since you still seem unsure of things.

 

Let me know if you have anymore questions.