Crackpot Theories (A game)

[Lunamor she/her]

Proof: Odium is the god of hatred, and hoo boy does Kelsier like to hate things!

Theory: The Mists are actually from a giant humidifier Preservation made because he got a cold.

[Lord Spirit he/him]

Proof: Leras always wears a coat

 Theory: The last shard isn’t real; there’s only 15

[Faerie Braids she/her]

Proof: Whimsy pretended to be a sixteenth shard, because why not?

Theory: Evi faked her own death to become an Unmade...Sja-Anat, specifically.

[Lunamor she/her]

Proof: Both identify as caring mothers and pay more attention to Renarin than Dalinar does.

Theory: Shallan is actually Wayne wearing a wig.

[RoyalBeeMage he/him]

proof: *holds up a photo that defenity is not fake* wayne jumping into the well of asention and sailing to roshar.

theory: cultivation, honer and odium are the same shard.

[Lunamor she/her]

Proof: They are Shallan’s inspiration, three personalities in one. Shallan is Cultivation because she creates art, Radiant is Honor for obvious reasons, and Veil is Odium because they’re both good at lying to people.

Theory: Threnody’s shades are actually just hall monitors.

[Hmmm lies she/her]

Proof: When was the last time you were aloud to run/burn things/bleed in the hallway?

Theory: Autonomy isn't really a Shard

[Lunamor she/her]

Proof: I mean, who doesn’t go through a rebellious, “You can’t tell me what to do!” phase as a teenager? Autonomy is just the personification of that created from the sheer angst of all teenagers in the Cosmere. It’ll disappear eventually- it’s just a phase.

Theory: Wyndle’s supposed chair garden is actually a front for a money laundering scheme.

[Lord Spirit he/him]

Proof: the chairs are made of the souls of actual chairs that he takes hostage and demands ransom.

Theory: all of Brandons books are a Ponzi scheme where he uses our theories to create new books instead of thinking of his own.

Edited February 9, 2024 by Lord Spirit

[Hmmm lies she/her]

Proof: Why else would noodles, pancakes, and waffles have such a big role

Theory: Vasher is a koloss

[Just_a_Fan he/him]

proof: *laughs in having only read one book*

 

Theory: cosmere is just the prequel of kingdom hearts.

[Lunamor she/her]

Proof: Kingdom Hearts is set in a massive crossover universe, and the Cosmere is working its way up to being one as well.

Theory: Pattern is secretly three spren in a trench coat.

[Faerie Braids she/her]

Proof: Subsets of infinite sets with distinct cardinalities are a well-established aspect of set theory, an area of mathematics that consists primarily of patterns. 

Theory: Kaladin is secretly an honourspren that Ishar successfully pulled into the Physical Realm.

[RoyalBeeMage he/him]

proof: his depression is because the transfer hurt

theory: hoid is stick

[Aredor]

Proof: they both are ancient, unknowable entities with massive power. 

Theory: Instant Noodles are Adonalsium's god metal, which is why Hoid loves them so much. 

[Hmmm lies she/her]

Proof: They are soon to be invented on Scadrial, a planet all about metal

Theory: The Reod was caused by Eventeo

[Lunamor she/her]

Proof: If you add an r and a d to Eventeo, an anagram of it spells “Reod Event.” Coincidence? I think not!

theory: lift switched from stealing food to stealing my uppercase key. seriously lift, i want it back please.

Edited February 10, 2024 by Lunamor

[Hmmm lies she/her]

Proof: When you 'lift' your finger from the shift key, you are no longer using it.

Theory: Every bad thing ever in the cosmere is Eventeo's fault

[Lunamor she/her]

Proof: If you add an r, u, i, n, s, e, v, another e, another r, y, t, h, another i, another n, and g to Eventeo, an anagram of it spells “Eventeo ruins everything.” There are too many coincidences to be ignored! The conspiracy grows!

Theory: Adonalsium was shattered when someone accidentally dropped it, but they were too embarrassed to reveal this and instead made a cover story blaming it on a bunch of other people.

[Faerie Braids she/her]

Proof: So many major Invested Arts in the Cosmere grant flight* that falling must be the formost cause of death among Invested beings. There has been no greater death of an Invested being than the Shattering of Adonalsium, so it is impossible for Adonalsium to have died any way other than being dropped.

*Okay, I know that none of them actually grant flight, but that is basically what Mistborn/Coinshots/Windrunners/Skybreakers/Those Ones of the Heavens/Sand Masters/etc. do.

Theory: Kaladin doesn't like horses, because he can unconsciously sense that they are secret agents of Odium.

[Lunamor she/her]

Proof: Odium was brought to Roshar by humans when they first arrived, and guess what else they brought with them. That’s right, horses! (This actually makes a weird amount of sense.)

Theory: Spren aren’t actually drawn to human emotions, it just looks that way due to a startling number of constant coincidences.

[aetherbound he/him]

Proof: Amians are immune to getting frunk, so Axies couldn't have seen any Alespren if they only showed up for frunk people.

Theory: Middle Earth was originally part of the cosmere.

 

[Lunamor she/her]

Proof: The dragons had to have come from somewhere!

Theory: Azure is secretly Lift from the future.

[Just_a_Fan he/him]

Proof: see coppermind.

 

theory: the land of Skyrim is/was a part of the cosmere.

[Lunamor she/her]

Proof: The dragons had to have come from somewhere!

Theory: Honor isn’t dead, he’s just a really deep sleeper.