Wyndlerunner he/him Posted September 29, 2018 Posted September 29, 2018 5 hours ago, Sorana said: I somehow believe we had this discussion with your last rap as well "The Wheel of Time turns and ages come and pass, bringing memories that fade to legend and legend fades to myth, and even myth long faded before the Age that gave it birth comes again..." 10
Ashspren Posted September 29, 2018 Author Posted September 29, 2018 And the winner is... @Firerust, with Lopen! Let's introduce our next competitors: @Silva, with Hoid! @Kidpen, with Nightblood! @Felt, with Cultivation! @AxeliustheGreat, with Vasher! 4
Wyndlerunner he/him Posted September 29, 2018 Posted September 29, 2018 Congrats @Firerust! I knew you had it in ya! 1
Ink he/him Posted September 29, 2018 Posted September 29, 2018 Nice job rusteze! Ash, you sure you didn't thematically pick them? Hemalurgy, Radiants, now Worldhoppers (mostly. Cultivation could be considered one...)
Herowannabe he/him Posted September 29, 2018 Posted September 29, 2018 15 hours ago, Firerust said: Quick question: What are the ethics of voting for oneself in this competition?! 15 hours ago, Wyndlerunner said: It's entirely ethical Shallan would say it’s ethical, but not moral. 1 hour ago, Ashspren said: Let's introduce our next competitors: @Silva, with Hoid! @Kidpen, with Nightblood! @Felt, with Cultivation! @AxeliustheGreat, with Vasher! Vasher vs Nightblood? It’s like watching a Cosmere soap opera! Spoiler 9
Kidpen he/him Posted September 29, 2018 Posted September 29, 2018 2 hours ago, Ashspren said: And the winner is... @Firerust, with Lopen! Let's introduce our next competitors: @Silva, with Hoid! @Kidpen, with Nightblood! @Felt, with Cultivation! @AxeliustheGreat, with Vasher! OhcrapIneedtodothisI'mterribleatcreativitywhydidIsignupforthis May the best person win! 2
+Ark1002 Posted September 29, 2018 Posted September 29, 2018 1 hour ago, Kidpen said: OhcrapIneedtodothisI'mterribleatcreativitywhydidIsignupforthis My thoughts when I signed up...
Borio Singaldi he/him Posted September 29, 2018 Posted September 29, 2018 (edited) ...Well. That's a surprise. A pleasant one, but a surprise nonetheless. Thanks, y'all! And congrats to all of you for your terrific raps as well! Edit: @Kidpen, I felt the same way when I signed up. I have confidence in you. Edited September 29, 2018 by Firerust You got this, Kidpen! 2
Silva Posted September 30, 2018 Posted September 30, 2018 (edited) Hope you don't mind that I took emphasis in the fact that it's insulting with poetry rather than the roast aspect. Spoiler Hoid looked around before taking a seat on a log next to a burning fire. He picked up a flute then began to play. Smoke tendrils rose from the campfire and Hoid raised an eyebrow. This is what they read: Vasher, Kalad, Strifelover, Peacegiver the Blessed, Quite a few names you’ve got. Talaxin, Zahel, Warbreaker the Peaceful, But are any really you? You’re a Returned. You’re appearance can be turned. No name. No face. Does even your identity have no name? You’ve got no appreciation for Breath. You use it to bring death. A grump, You’d be better as an Inanimate lump. Huh, Cultivation. You’re almost an equal to me in age But it’s becoming more visible in you. Gee, Cultivation. You could’ve done better than Honor. The real Stormfather’s gone now and your alone. Wow, Cultivation. Odium’s gaining all sorts of power And you aren’t doing much to help the people, are you? Okay, Cultivation. You’ve got a powerful spren, But Nightwatcher isn’t all that social. Oh, Cultivation. You could be so much more if you tried, I just don’t think you’re going to. Laziness, Cultivation. Is not an Attractive trait. How Do You Even Work? You’re a talking Sword, Nightblood Around Solely Since People Lost Breath. Shame Should Be all You feel Except You don’t Feel. You’re a Sword. You suck Life from Those who Wield you. No one Keeps You for Very long. There’s a Reason You know. It’s due To the Fact That You Are A Sword. And that’s all you’ll ever be. Better than inanimate objects, but still not alive. I know you may think That I have many issues But you all have more. Standing up, Hoid stomps out the fire and wanders off. Also, some of it turned purple for reasons I don't understand. Edit: Fixed the purple problem Edited September 30, 2018 by Silva 16
Kidpen he/him Posted September 30, 2018 Posted September 30, 2018 10 minutes ago, Silva said: You suck Best insult ever 4
Paranoid King he/him Posted September 30, 2018 Posted September 30, 2018 36 minutes ago, Silva said: Nightblood: This is solid gold 4
Silva Posted September 30, 2018 Posted September 30, 2018 53 minutes ago, Kidpen said: Best insult ever I know right? 26 minutes ago, Paranoid King said: This is solid gold The formatting kept messing up, so yay(!), it worked!
Felt he/him Posted September 30, 2018 Posted September 30, 2018 Nice one Silva! I'm a bit tight with time but I'll have mine up by tomorrow
Felt he/him Posted October 1, 2018 Posted October 1, 2018 (edited) Here we go, obviously spoilers for Stormlight Archive and Warbreaker Spoiler Battle roast / tournament win / the rhyme writing Cultivation / writing, rhyming / the winning tournament roast battle-Ketek written by Navani Kholin after the Third Tournament of the Roast Battles- “Her rhymes break the bar, but they always equal exactly 16 lines, 4x4…”-commentary of Adolin Kholin after the first round of the Third Tournament of the Roast Battles- “I would give my arm again to see her roast some more people” -commentary of the Lopen after the first round of the Third Tournament of the Roast Battles- My rhymes are four by four, I’ll show you out the door, I go to much extent, now let me take the floor Part of Adonalsium, Cultivation is my intent, I’m Ketek bent, content to be 1/16 percent Hosting, slowly starting rhyming, boasting, don’t do much posting, but I am good at roasting I create, patience is another word for wait, tell it to ya straight, your character isn’t so great You call yourself Vasher, who za hell is that? Warbreaker the Peaceful sounds like a pussycat I will call you deceitful, disgraceful and wasteful, nightbloods point of view, I’ll give him an ear full Is evil black? Or is it maybe blue? You have no clue about what it is that you need to do Swords will never grow, destroying evil’s all you know, put you in your place, now come enjoy the show Now just in case Hoid shows his face, gotta brace a little faster, gotta cut to the chase you’re a shameful disaster and I AM the Roast Master! Didn’t you know? I am the fastidious, now is your name Cephandrius or midious? I will call you perfidious, insidious and hideous King’s Wit, hypocrite, didn’t you know? That Cultivation is THA sh*t..........I have no mortal fear Now all you comic punks, you can go home my dear, you’re faking rapping, crying, why is it unclear? You’ll never reach my level, I will persevere, I’ll drown you little homies while I chug a beer Do you volunteer to be on the frontier? Lets kick it into high gear and make it crystal clear No more going back mate, didn’t you hear? I’m the f*cking best, yes, IN THA COSMERE Edited October 1, 2018 by Felt 10
Kidpen he/him Posted October 1, 2018 Posted October 1, 2018 (edited) Working on mine. It'll be done in time. Just had to figure out how to rhyme. Here it is. It's not very good. Spoiler Hello, would you like to destroy some evil today?Would you please, I’m just dying to slay All the people who make you pay Cause they deserve to die my way Oh, what’s that I hear? You want me to kill those people over there? I’ll vaporize them into air Do you prefer your roasts medium or rare? *Nightblood is unsheathed* HOID! You know you talk too much (You’re abrasive, I'm incredible in court. Succinct, persuasive.) You have about the opposite of a gentle touch People you insult end up needing a crutch CULTIVATION! You only participate In the events in your world that precipitate Your people aren't gonna end up in a perfect state. VASHER! You hold me tight Even though you know it's not right Vivenna uses me to kill evil You just ignore me even though I'm primeval *Nightblood is sheathed* Vivenna, did I do good? And stop all the evil in your neighborhood? I worked just about as hard as I could Hopefully you understood Edited October 2, 2018 by Kidpen 11
Ashspren Posted October 1, 2018 Author Posted October 1, 2018 AxeliustheGreat didn’t post, so... here’s the link! https://goo.gl/forms/sfOPK6HAONNVOJqz1 VOTE VOTE VOTE! 3
Ink he/him Posted October 1, 2018 Posted October 1, 2018 1 minute ago, Ashspren said: AxeliustheGreat didn’t post, so... here’s the link! https://goo.gl/forms/sfOPK6HAONNVOJqz1 VOTE VOTE VOTE! Don't we have pinch hitters for a reason? 1
Paranoid King he/him Posted October 1, 2018 Posted October 1, 2018 Huh. You should have been the one to sign up as Hrathen
Ashspren Posted October 3, 2018 Author Posted October 3, 2018 @John203 and @Ark1002, I’m not taking reservations for the next round. All will be explained in due time... ~~~ This round, we have a tie! @Silva and @Felt, each of you will write an eight bar rap to roast your other opponent. You have 48 hours! Good luck! 2
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