The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[Lunamor]

Reason 4: They did a lot of raising the roof.

[Silva]

Reason 4.7689: They weren't sure how to count and included every decimal point out there, even 7.000000000000000009 and 5.23859487247934571.

[Lunamor]

Reason 6: Alcatraz was there.

[Archer]

The Aforementioned Reason 5.23859487247934571 (Which Alcatraz's proximity made come after 6, obviously): They were not throwing away their shot.

(Their poor counting ability was due to the regular interruptions of their childhood education regimes by large hurricanes. As such, they learned to sing and to dance surprisingly modern looking hip hop numbers, but never to do math. Hopefully, none of them will ever get a job working with money or anything like that. That'd be bad.)

Edited May 26, 2019 by Archer

[Jaywalk]

Reason 7: The oceans were drying up, making them much higher above sea level than before.

[Lunamor]

Reason 0: Someone had pressed the big red button of doom.

[Jaywalk]

Reason 2(3.14): That big red button had caused the rocket thrusters underneath the empire to ignite.

[Lunamor]

(They had been put there in case of zombie apocalypse)

Edited May 26, 2019 by Lunamor

[Jaywalk]

(Nobody knew how it would have helped, but they still put them there.)

[Lunamor]

(After all, no one would be stupid enough to press the big red button of doom. Right?)

[Jaywalk]

(Nope.)

[xinoehp512]

(..why are you all looking at me?)

[Jaywalk]

Aaanyways, on to reason 42.

[Zephrun’s Imperium]

Star pointed out that there were only ten reasons and as such, reason 42 was void. Reason Forty Two did sound like a cool book title though. 

[Jaywalk]

But Reason 42 made all other reasons irrelevant.

[Zephrun’s Imperium]

Listed in the ghanderflaffle Book of Rules (written by Emperor DeKalb the Great) Reason Forty Two stated that...

[Jaywalk]

The empire was rising, and that was all anyone needed to know.

[Zephrun’s Imperium]

There were many holy ghanderfaffles whose sole job was to study and interpret the Ghanderflaffle Book of Rules.

[Jaywalk]

But there was a conspiracy amongst them.

Edit: 1,800th post! Only 200 before 2,000!

Edited May 26, 2019 by Jaywalk

[Zephrun’s Imperium]

They planned to overthrow the ghanderflaffle government. 

[BringerofShadows]

And Shard of Thought- I mean the Germans.

[Zephrun’s Imperium]

As Star furiously scribbled down notes about the mimes and the Master of Silence, she mindlessly wondered if Shadow was referring to Thought or her. Thought didn't have her Shard anymore (Well, probably. Star wasn't sure that was ever resolved) and she herself was indestructible. Unless someone wanted to keep her held down forever... Not that she wanted to give anyone any ideas.

[Jaywalk]

Narrator Jaywalk would back Star up if the need arose.

[Lunamor]

As would Narrator Lunamor, due to certain events in TLPW.

[Zephrun’s Imperium]

Star smiled. A small part of her still believed that being tortured that way was exactly what she deserved, but looking at all the notes around her, she had to admit she had changed. Her work regarding Silence was important to her. Important to the thread. It redeemed her.