The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[Lunamor she/her]

Reason 4: They did a lot of raising the roof.

[Silva]

Reason 4.7689: They weren't sure how to count and included every decimal point out there, even 7.000000000000000009 and 5.23859487247934571.

[Lunamor she/her]

Reason 6: Alcatraz was there.

[Archer he/him]

The Aforementioned Reason 5.23859487247934571 (Which Alcatraz's proximity made come after 6, obviously): They were not throwing away their shot.

(Their poor counting ability was due to the regular interruptions of their childhood education regimes by large hurricanes. As such, they learned to sing and to dance surprisingly modern looking hip hop numbers, but never to do math. Hopefully, none of them will ever get a job working with money or anything like that. That'd be bad.)

Edited May 26, 2019 by Archer

[Jaywalk he/him]

Reason 7: The oceans were drying up, making them much higher above sea level than before.

[Lunamor she/her]

Reason 0: Someone had pressed the big red button of doom.

[Jaywalk he/him]

Reason 2(3.14): That big red button had caused the rocket thrusters underneath the empire to ignite.

[Lunamor she/her]

(They had been put there in case of zombie apocalypse)

Edited May 26, 2019 by Lunamor

[Jaywalk he/him]

(Nobody knew how it would have helped, but they still put them there.)

[Lunamor she/her]

(After all, no one would be stupid enough to press the big red button of doom. Right?)

[Jaywalk he/him]

(Nope.)

[xinoehp512 he/him]

(..why are you all looking at me?)

[Jaywalk he/him]

Aaanyways, on to reason 42.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

Star pointed out that there were only ten reasons and as such, reason 42 was void. Reason Forty Two did sound like a cool book title though. 

[Jaywalk he/him]

But Reason 42 made all other reasons irrelevant.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

Listed in the ghanderflaffle Book of Rules (written by Emperor DeKalb the Great) Reason Forty Two stated that...

[Jaywalk he/him]

The empire was rising, and that was all anyone needed to know.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

There were many holy ghanderfaffles whose sole job was to study and interpret the Ghanderflaffle Book of Rules.

[Jaywalk he/him]

But there was a conspiracy amongst them.

Edit: 1,800th post! Only 200 before 2,000!

Edited May 26, 2019 by Jaywalk

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

They planned to overthrow the ghanderflaffle government. 

[BringerofShadows she/her]

And Shard of Thought- I mean the Germans.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

As Star furiously scribbled down notes about the mimes and the Master of Silence, she mindlessly wondered if Shadow was referring to Thought or her. Thought didn't have her Shard anymore (Well, probably. Star wasn't sure that was ever resolved) and she herself was indestructible. Unless someone wanted to keep her held down forever... Not that she wanted to give anyone any ideas.

[Jaywalk he/him]

Narrator Jaywalk would back Star up if the need arose.

[Lunamor she/her]

As would Narrator Lunamor, due to certain events in TLPW.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

Star smiled. A small part of her still believed that being tortured that way was exactly what she deserved, but looking at all the notes around her, she had to admit she had changed. Her work regarding Silence was important to her. Important to the thread. It redeemed her.