The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[whattheHoid she/her]

The got swindled by an opportunistic Gaz. He started to gamble again, so he decided to sell glue covered brick hats to unsuspecting customers. 

[Rebecca she/her]

Suprisingly, Gaz sold over 50 hats.

[Kidpen he/him]

To be exact, he sold 50.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 hats.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

A hornet bought the 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000001nth hat.

[whattheHoid she/her]

Every single one of Gaz's customers were furious at being duped. Especially since he charged 50 spheres and .000000000000000001nt of an eye. Gaz almost had a complete eye.

[BitBitio he/him]

So he threw bricks at them.

[whattheHoid she/her]

Gaz was regretting his line of work and that he managed to cram in 10 bricks per hat. There were a lot of bricks. Vathah just laughed.

[Kidpen he/him]

He then wept because Gaz was his only friend and now he was throwing bricks at him.

[whattheHoid she/her]

"Why Gaz!? I loved you like a brother! Why did you turn to the Darkside?!" Wailed Vathah. 

"They've got free drinks! And these Voidspren are wild! I still love you, Vathah! No hard feelings!!" Yelled Gaz.

[Borio Singaldi he/him]

At that moment, Vathah was broken. Both mentally and emotionally by the soul-crushing betrayal, and physically by the bricks pounding into him.

He collapsed to the ground, weeping as more bricks crashed into him, the ideal moment to swear an Ideal and deus-ex machina the crem out of everything.

[+Ark1002]

Then a thermonuke hit him.

[Borio Singaldi he/him]

XD Careful, it's rude for me to burst out laughing at a university library.

It unfortunately also obliterated everyone else in the area, except for the hornet with the 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000001nth of a hat.

[Kidpen he/him]

6 minutes ago, Firerust said:

XD Careful, it's rude for me to burst out laughing at a university library.

This, only during a test at school when everything is dead silent.

The hornet paused, then spoke. "I will buy hats for those who have none," it said, then deus ex machinad the heck out of everybody.

[whattheHoid she/her]

Everyone was hacked to little pieces, but hadn't died. Luckily for them, a Bondsmith passed by. However, she wasn't very good with the surges granted with her Radiant position. She spiritually adhesioned everyone, but she got people mixed up. She called up Dalinar on her video fabrial.

[Rebecca she/her]

Dalinar didn’t answer. He was in the middle of a very important meeting.

[whattheHoid she/her]

'Storms! I am never going to get this right! I should've listened to Dalinar's instructional videos better! Why didn't I save them!!?" said Persnickety Blueberry.

[Kidpen he/him]

Suddenly Maui from Moana came and tried to eat Persnickety Blueberry, regardless of the fact that she was a strawberry and he was allergic to strawberries.

[whattheHoid she/her]

Persnickety Blueberry shrieked in terror. The strangely cobbled together, Butt, Arnold, and Uncle Brandy tackled Maui as Persnickety Blueberry was their only hope of getting back to normal.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

Persnickety Blueberry turned into a strawberry.

[whattheHoid she/her]

Now Persnickety Blueberry's sense of self was all akimbo. She rang for Dalinar again. He picked up...

[Kidpen he/him]

A certain narrator wondered how Persnickety Blueberry had changed to a strawberry when she already was.

But anyways, he picked up the shard Ambition.

Edited August 18, 2018 by Kidpen

[BitBitio he/him]

No, literally, he picked up a piece of glass that had the word Ambition carved into it.

Capitalize or else

[whattheHoid she/her]

A certain narrator laughed heartily. whattheHoid got the narrator, Kidpen. She knew that Kid had been trying to grab Shards all along and decided to place random shards around for Kid to follow with a pair of gloves by each shard so no one hurts their hands.

[Sherlock Holmes he/him]

Axelius, the narrator, picked up a Shard and became the Shard of Irrelevancy quite magically. 

The Gaz Redemption comic is awesome. You should check it out.

[whattheHoid she/her]

Hey Axelius, that Gaz comic, storming good, thanks.

This was accepted as Axelius became irrelevant as long as he/she held the Shard. Dalinar cursed Persnickety Blueberry and her incompetence. He fixed everyone who Persnickety Blueberry globbed up.