The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[Life&Death]

Butt walked off, but accidentally stepped on a ghanderflaffle, which exploded.

[Apollyon he/him]

Nasty black feathers flew everywhere. Butt spit one out of his mouth and continued onward. With a snap of his fingers and a click of his heels he...

[Nerd3.14159265358979 he/him]

Tried to fly off into the sunset, but instead tripped and landed with his face in a pile of...

[whattheHoid she/her]

Rusty nails. The nails pierced his skin and he tripped head over heels onto...

[Apollyon he/him]

A dark alley. The nails had been strategically placed to Hemalurgically spike Butt.

[whattheHoid she/her]

The spikes gave Butt superhuman sense of smell and strength. He became the ultimate and strongest Fartomancer with these spikes. Than the voices came. Butt was scared; confused. 

[Devout Pathian]

He wasn’t confused because of the voices, but because he was already the ultimate and strongest Fartomancer in the cosmere before the spikes.  That what comes with holding the Butt shard.  So he sat there confused as to how he just became the ultimate and strongest Fartomancer when he already was it before.

[Niteshado he/him]

As he was lost in thought, a voice came to him, telling him to rule the world.

[whattheHoid she/her]

"Which world should I rule?" thought Butt. Than he realized, rule just one world, that's not challenging enough, he would rule the whole Cosmere. But first, Butt needed a team of people with no scruples to help. 

[Kidpen he/him]

So he invited Scruple, a person who had moral doubts about everything. Butt does not understand what scruples means.

[whattheHoid she/her]

Butt liked to pretend he knew what fancy words like scruples meant, but in reality he could barely count to 20. Luckily, Scruple could count and read everything.

[Devout Pathian]

Butt asked Scruple to find other people to invite to the team.  Scruple would handle paying them.  Butt figured that they should be his employees.  Scruple invited Lord Tresting, even though he was dead.  He brought him back from the Beyond.  He wondered if that had been a good idea, but he figured it would work out okay, because Tresting should loyalty now since they brought him back.

[whattheHoid she/her]

Lord Tresting was irritated at first that he was brought back, but once he heard about the Plan of Domination, he got really excited. Then Scruple brought in a man named Dilaf and couldn't wonder if that was a mistake. He had a fanatic look in his eyes that made even Butt uneasy.

[Apollyon he/him]

But it was okay because words such as ‘fanatic’ and ‘uneasy’ were too much for Butt’s vocabulary. But that was irrelevant.

[whattheHoid she/her]

Luckily, Butt wasn't thinking those thoughts at all just Tresting. Dilaf decided that Butt's Cosmere should have but one religion and one color for clothing Shu-Dorath and the color red. Scruple looked at Dilaf askance.

[Nerd3.14159265358979 he/him]

He also thought that the holy word should be irrelevant, though irrelevant was too big for his vocabulary as well.

[Devout Pathian]

Despite that irrelevant was his favorite word.

[Apollyon he/him]

But once more, all this was irrelevant.

[Elenion he/him]

Because apart from Butt and Tresting, Dilaf decided that he needed an upgraded set of abilities, and that of course would require sacrifices.

[Devout Pathian]

Tresting suggested using a few of his skaa as sacrifices.

[+Ark1002]

The skaa hated the idea, but were to depressed to rebel.

[+Ark1002]

Because of this, they were promptly sacrificed, giving him the powers of Limelight and Steelheart. (Ark1002 dies a sad and lonely death due to the fact that the universe hates him for combining the cosmere and the Reckoners multiverse.)

[Devout Pathian]

Dilaf rejoiced in his new powers.

Also @Ark1002 just so you know the moderators don’t like it when people double post.  You didn’t know, so don’t worry about it.  If you have more to say before someone else posts again then just edit and add it to the original post.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

Then he cried because of the exploded ghanderflaffle.

Not because he cared about what happened to said ghanderflaffle, but because the remnants of it had caught fire, and the entire area was melting.

[Apollyon he/him]

These tears were pure tears of sadness. They reminded Butt of his lowest lows in his life, all of his losses, all of his sorrows. This struck Butt with an opportunity to change. A chance to start anew. So Butt  curled up and started sobbing in a corner.