The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[Nerd3.14159265358979 he/him]

He stumbled about in confusion, wondering what was up with Uncle Brandy. When he finally realized his mistake, he was falling off a cliff, and realized that his noodle shop provided all the money he needed for his FartCloak.

[Apollyon he/him]

So he gathered his funds, and went to a mall in search of a Fartcloak. None of them were very good, so he went for the next best option.

[whattheHoid she/her]

He ended up going to the very old and reputable shop called Fartomancers Emporium. They were guaranteed to have the quality FartCloak he was looking for. He entered the shop and saw the jazziest FartCloak he had ever seen. "This is the one." Thought Butt

[Apollyon he/him]

It was the one. It seemingly called out to Butt Venture in his thoughts. "Take me..." The cloak seemingly telepathed.

[Toaster Retribution he/him]

”Okay” Butt said. He immediatly regretted that after taking a look at the price tag.

[Apollyon he/him]

The price demanded the outrageous cost of 30,000 Emerald Broams, His soul, and interest.

[whattheHoid she/her]

Butt thought for a moment. "Is this worth it? Storms, yeah! Let's do this! I don't have to give my soul, I'll find someone else's!" Said Butt. He grabbed the FartCloak paid the half the emerald broams upfront and set up a payment plan for the rest.

Edited June 14, 2018 by whattheHoid

[Apollyon he/him]

He hadn't realized the vendor who was selling it was a shade however.

[whattheHoid she/her]

"I can't win! All what I want is this kick-chull FartCloak and there's a shade!" Thought Butt. Butt tried a different tactic. He started to talkto the shade to explain his problem, but didn't know how. So, Butt just said with a menacing growl, "Kelsier!" The shade froze and started to groan.

 

Edited June 14, 2018 by whattheHoid

[Nerd3.14159265358979 he/him]

Then it attacked, thinking that Butt was saying that he was a  friend of Kelsier's. Butt quickly side-stepped the Shade, which would have enraged it further, except for the rack of silver dust behind Butt that it ran into, killing it.

[Snipexe he/him]

Butt promptly stole the deed of the establishment, and took the Fartcloak. His power now grew even stronger then before

[Nerd3.14159265358979 he/him]

Also, because he owned the shop, he was now a billionaire in emerald broams. He also owned several souls that he didn't want. They were always whining.

Edited June 15, 2018 by Nerd3.14159265358979

[Apollyon he/him]

Because Fartcloaks and Instant Noodles make great business partnerships, unexpectedly.

[Nerd3.14159265358979 he/him]

The random silver dust that the shade had for some reason was good in the soup, too.

 

[Toaster Retribution he/him]

Butt lived happily ever after. That is, until the door to his shop opened, and Moash entered.

[whattheHoid she/her]

Butt was sitting by the fire, smoking his pipe when Moash stopped in bringing with him what appeared to be a giant geode man with spikes driven through his eyes, who went by the name of Mr. Fused. They didn't look like they wanted to talk. "Oh rusting great," thought Butt, " they know about the Secret. I'm screwed."

[Apollyon he/him]

But Butt wasn’t screwed. He was 2 Shards, so, with a wave of his hand; teleported Lift there to deal with them instead.

[Toaster Retribution he/him]

Lift ate Moash.

[whattheHoid she/her]

Upon eating Moash, Lift became more awesome than ever before. She cocked her head and studied Mr. Fused and asked him, "Have you heard of the legendary Bacon Ramen noodles from Mr. Mashaloto? He makes them once a year at the Festival of Lights. They change location every year; only those most worthy will find it. I'm awesome and you seem like you could use some cheering up. Wanna check it out?" "Oh Lift ! What are you doing!?" Thought Butt.

[Nerd3.14159265358979 he/him]

But Lift refused to take back her words, and t he fused accepted the offer. They found the legendary Bacon Ramen noodles from Mr. Mashaloto, and, upon tasting them, Mr. Fused was so happy and started to like Lift so much that he became a good guy.

[whattheHoid she/her]

Lift and Mr. Fused had a grand time traveling the Cosmere for the most legendary of tasty foods. Mr. Fused became so find of Lift that he unofficially adopted her. Life was well for them for a time, until the Ghostbloods caught up to them with some important yet devastating information. There were two words on the note, "Odium comes."

[Nerd3.14159265358979 he/him]

So they decided to give some of their exotic food to him (him being Odium), though it pained them to do so.

Edited June 15, 2018 by Nerd3.14159265358979

[whattheHoid she/her]

Odium gladly took the food, but being Odium he wasn't satisfied for long. He not only needed to be the only complete shard in the Cosmere, but also have all of the most exotic food too. Lift and Mr. Fused couldn't let that happen, so they gathered the Resistance in secret. Butt and Kelsier were the first recruits. Next, they needed the help of the Knight Radient and of course the best legion of Fartomancers trained by the Master, himself. 

[Weedolfin she/her]

How many post does this topic need for the record?

[whattheHoid she/her]

I don't know. All I know is I'm kinda into this Fartsmere/Cosmere Butt Venture story. Help.