The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

As a result of this landmark court decision, several invested entities started writing as "brandon sanderson," in hopes of readers confusing their books for those of the actual Brandon Sanderson.

[NameIess]

This turned out to be, surprisingly, completely legal.

[Immortal Platypus]

One smart one chose to trademark and copyright the pen name of brandon sanderson so they changed to Brandon sanderson. 

[NameIess]

Then the lawyers attacked.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

This brutal courtroom battle was dramatized as "Inherit the Wind II: The Sequel Nobody Asked For."

[Immortal Platypus]

Very few people actually knew what "Inherit the Wind" was, so they were confused by the sequel.

[NameIess]

Fortunately, the Inheritors of the Wind came out of nowhere and put a stop to the movie.

[Just_a_Fan he/him]

Plot tried to return, but was dragged away by X, the semi-titular antagonist of the OG 2011 writing of Sonic.exe by...

Spoiler

JC -the- hyena... *cringes*

above was spoilered because he was... not a good person... and I don't know how y'all would feel about that weirdo-freak-whatever-you-call-him being mentioned... then again, this is TLT and lol so random.

Edited April 13, 2024 by Just_a_Fan

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

The prime Inheritor of the Wind was known as Sir Jeffery the Indubitable of Westershire, Eastershire, Southershire and Northershire, esquire. And his name was known around the land as being called into question in each moment wind blew for the west, the east, the south or the north. Others called him Sir Jeffery the Flatulent. 

[NameIess]

The ancillary Inheritor of the Wind was known as Lord Edward the Windmaster. He had indisputable domination of the wind, and the only the stopping him from becoming the Windfather was his respect for the current holder of that title. Coincidentally, he was the one who'd coined Sir Jeffery's misnomer.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

The Ancillary of the Inheritors of the Wind was actually a judge.

He meted out Ancillary Justice.

[NameIess]

This justice was very swift. Like the wind.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

Mallory from studio c narrated every action he said, thus being the one who said “Like the wind.”

[NameIess]

This was part of a plea deal with the SOPSKEEOW*, as Edward's real voice was far too powerful.

*Society of Please stop killing everyone every other week.

Edited April 14, 2024 by NameIess

[Immortal Platypus]

Their name was wildly inaccurate. Most people were killed on a weekly basis, bi-weekly was far too much time

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

That was, unless they were insured by…

The Totally Not Shady Insurance Company! TTNSIC for short. Their president just happened be Edward.

[NameIess]

He was very good at making sure his company didn’t lose any money paying out life insurance. Just like the wind.

[Immortal Platypus]

(Mallory was still narrating (not to be confused with Narrating) so that explained the random statements comparing things to the wind.)

[NameIess]

*(Mallory was narrating like the wind.)

Edited April 14, 2024 by NameIess

[Immortal Platypus]

(That she was.)

[NameIess]

Wind-related humor aside, something important was happening. Well, a lot of important things were actually happening, most of which would never see the light of day due to the limited ability of the Author's imaginations to discover them, but this important thing was both important and already found.

Wait, where did I put it again? I could've sworn I left the plot right here. Did somebody steal it* while I wasn't looking?

*Like the wind

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

However, it was too late. Plot had returned! He had ran off with the Plot as an attempt to restore his true power.

[NameIess]

If all went according to plan, he would regain it in a mere thirty thousand pages.

Edited April 14, 2024 by NameIess

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

However, none of the Narrators were near that point.

[NameIess]

But one day, probably before the heat death of the universe, they probably would be. And Plot would be waiting*.

Meanwhile...

I wonder where that Plot went. Oh well, Guess I'll have to go with the backup. 

In TLT, there are many strange things and many strange people. But today, this plot does not focus on anything out of the ordinary. No indeed, it focuses on something-sorry, someone-entirely ordinary. His name is Timothy. Timothy has always been an ordinary person, and his number one goal in life is living a long one that is as free of extra suffering as possible. To accomplish this goal, he does his utmost to avoid drawing a Narrators attention. To name a few of the precautions he has taken, he has carefully removed any latent desire to go on an adventure**, he has moved to a city that is extremely boring and has never even been mentioned in TLT, and he has resolved to avoid falling in love with anyone, as that only ever leads to eventual heartbreak. Although some would call his life "boring" or "in dire need of more explosions" Tim is actually quite happy in his normality. In fact, the only odd thing about him is the lengths to which he goes to hide from abnormalities. Well, that all might change today. Or it might not. I guess that's up to you.

Tim heard a knock at his door. I wonder what that could be. I didn't think I had any company coming over.

*Like the you-know-what

**He accomplished this great feat by reading Trauma: An In-depth Study of the Great Heroes of TLT. (The author of this book had spent a great deal of time obtaining interviews by pretending to be a therapist, and had written a chapter on basically every significant figure in the past fifteen-hundred pages.