The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[NameIess]

(Not really)

[+Ark1002]

And then a thermonuke hit him.

[NameIess]

And the Mcdonalds.

[Knight of Iron she/they]

Somehow, it fixed the ice cream machine for Joe.

[NameIess]

Or at least the ice cream machine was the only part of the store that survived.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

And Joe was happy.

[NameIess]

Until he realized that the icecream had evaporated.

[Quivil]

He sighed and slumped his shoulders. At least maybe he could get some soda from the trashed soda machine in the corner...

[NameIess]

It exploded.

[Knight of Iron she/they]

Spaghetti flew everywhere.

[NameIess]

Which was strange, considering it was a soda machine.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

It was depressed spaghetti.

[NameIess]

It had been stuck inside the soda machine for the past 500 years.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

If one listened to it, all one heard was AWOIJXZ.,/MRIOJCXVZMLK/REWOIUVDSJLKREAOI;JFMLKEWLKEFWLIVSL/KMSDLIMLFEWOIJSDFMKLM/LKSDIO'J/LKMCX/LKM

[NameIess]

But it was actually the wisest philosopher that had ever lived.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

In areas of cynicism.

[NameIess]

And also fatalism.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

And negativism.

[Knight of Iron she/they]

It decided it would grant Joe one wish.

[NameIess]

So Joe wished for the cure to cancer.

[AonEne he/him]

It gave him something that would completely and utterly obliterate all Cancers.  

[Mortals]

“Death”

[xinoehp512 he/him]

But since death was coming for them all anyways, nothing actually changed.

[+Ed Venture]

Death looked up, but realized someone was talking about it's brother, so went back to cuddling puppies.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

*[sic] Kittens.