Kidpen he/him Posted December 11, 2019 Posted December 11, 2019 SOURCE: https://ectojazzmage.tumblr.com/post/172468159521/a-summary-of-the-cosmere#notes (beware of swears) So yeah, not mine. Spoiler A Summary of The Cosmere White Sand: *Eric Andre voice* who killed the sand masters? Also it’s a comic instead of a book for some reason. Elantris: A poor understanding of geography causes the zombie apocalypse. The Hope Of Elantris: Sanderson realizes he forgot to write the ending of Elantris. The Emperor’s Soul: Original Soul donut steal Mistborn: Gandalf is evil and the Fellowship has to take him the [heck] down. Wax And Wayne: Lethal Weapon but with magic and cowboys Allomancer Jak: *Indiana Jones music plays* Mistborn Secret History: Kelsier discovers the mysteries of the universe and gets totally burned by Hoid. Mistborn Era 3: Hotline Miami: Scadrial Edition Mistborn Era 4: HOID IN SPACE Warbreaker: The worst honeymoon ever. Guest-starring the Master Sword. Nightblood: Will likely be (and should be) renamed “Vasher and Nightblood’s Excellent Adventure” when it comes out. Shadows For Silence In The Forests Of Hell: A bounty hunter tries to catch a bad guy whilst respecting the trigger warnings of angry ghosts. Sixth Of The Dusk: That scene from Spongebob where a caveman meets a robot. The Silence Divine: *smokes blunt* dude what if the flu gave you superpowers dude. Dragonsteel: Is probably gonna attract a bunch of dragon [fans] to the fandom. People will ship Hoid and Frost, if they haven’t started to already. Edgedancer: Lift has a wacky misadventure while the world gets invaded by cosmic horrors. The Stormlight Archive: Cosmere: Infinity War. It’s raining, it’s pouring, the old man is getting eaten by Voidbringers. 12
Necessary Eagle she/her Posted December 20, 2019 Posted December 20, 2019 On 12/11/2019 at 0:15 PM, Ookla the Procrastinator said: SOURCE: https://ectojazzmage.tumblr.com/post/172468159521/a-summary-of-the-cosmere#notes (beware of swears) So yeah, not mine. Reveal hidden contents A Summary of The Cosmere White Sand: *Eric Andre voice* who killed the sand masters? Also it’s a comic instead of a book for some reason. Elantris: A poor understanding of geography causes the zombie apocalypse. The Hope Of Elantris: Sanderson realizes he forgot to write the ending of Elantris. The Emperor’s Soul: Original Soul donut steal Mistborn: Gandalf is evil and the Fellowship has to take him the [heck] down. Wax And Wayne: Lethal Weapon but with magic and cowboys Allomancer Jak: *Indiana Jones music plays* Mistborn Secret History: Kelsier discovers the mysteries of the universe and gets totally burned by Hoid. Mistborn Era 3: Hotline Miami: Scadrial Edition Mistborn Era 4: HOID IN SPACE Warbreaker: The worst honeymoon ever. Guest-starring the Master Sword. Nightblood: Will likely be (and should be) renamed “Vasher and Nightblood’s Excellent Adventure” when it comes out. Shadows For Silence In The Forests Of Hell: A bounty hunter tries to catch a bad guy whilst respecting the trigger warnings of angry ghosts. Sixth Of The Dusk: That scene from Spongebob where a caveman meets a robot. The Silence Divine: *smokes blunt* dude what if the flu gave you superpowers dude. Dragonsteel: Is probably gonna attract a bunch of dragon [fans] to the fandom. People will ship Hoid and Frost, if they haven’t started to already. Edgedancer: Lift has a wacky misadventure while the world gets invaded by cosmic horrors. The Stormlight Archive: Cosmere: Infinity War. It’s raining, it’s pouring, the old man is getting eaten by Voidbringers. In that vein (SoS bigtime spoilers) Spoiler Shadows of Self: Trell hath no fury like a woman fridged.
Zachary Holbrook Posted December 20, 2019 Posted December 20, 2019 The Lightbringer series: Spoiler A fat kid is killed by a collectable card game and resurrected by coffee 2
Jaywalk he/him Posted December 20, 2019 Posted December 20, 2019 55 minutes ago, Zachary Holbrook said: The Lightbringer series: Reveal hidden contents A fat kid is killed by a collectable card game and resurrected by coffee It’s true...
Nathrangking he/him Posted December 20, 2019 Posted December 20, 2019 BoM Spoiler And you thought that your family reunions got ugly! 1
Faceless Mist-Wraith he/him Posted December 21, 2019 Posted December 21, 2019 Frozen 2 Spoiler The snow princess from the first movie goes on a journey to discover she's the avatar. 2
AonEne he/him Posted December 21, 2019 Posted December 21, 2019 1 hour ago, Faceless Mist-Wraith said: Frozen 2 Hide contents The snow princess from the first movie goes on a journey to discover she's the avatar. Speaking of Frozen 2 summaries...anyone know where I can find the hilarious Olaf ones?
Fezzik Posted December 21, 2019 Posted December 21, 2019 8 hours ago, Nathrangking said: BoM Reveal hidden contents And you thought that your family reunions got ugly! Also, SoS...
dayman Posted December 28, 2019 Posted December 28, 2019 Oathbringer Spoiler Mr Miyagi struggles to make new friends. Meanwhile, everyone else struggles to fill plot. Eventually the evil Tinkerbell army losses to Mr Miayagi's literal hand(s) of God and ... A bowling ball.
AonEne he/him Posted December 29, 2019 Posted December 29, 2019 The Alleyverse: Spoiler You might get spiked/experimented on, assassinated, or pulled into a war, and neither parties nor taverns/bars are ever safe for long, but somehow people still live here. The Knights Next Door: Spoiler It’s just regular life EXCEPT DID WE MENTION, you get superpowers! And have to fight evil demons! But someone’s gonna bring home a cat so it’s all good. Who cares about needing therapy later in life when you can kill your spren, put everyone else’s health before your own, and have a bunch of ships amiright Knights of the Cosmere: Spoiler Did you think we were going to give you a happy scene? Well you thought wrong lol
Nathrangking he/him Posted December 29, 2019 Posted December 29, 2019 (edited) Oathbringer Spoiler Evil grandpa uses ghosts in an attempt to free himself from a broken deal? Edited December 30, 2019 by Nathrangking
Karger he/him Posted December 30, 2019 Posted December 30, 2019 Rise of Skywalker(also every star wars movie) Spoiler The best, worst, most mediocre, movie that is also fine depending on which part of the internet you habitually yell at. Also all the other ones 3
Nathrangking he/him Posted January 2, 2020 Posted January 2, 2020 Star Wars The Return of the Jedi Spoiler Raging Grandpa's party is interrupted by care bears! 2
Paalm Tree Posted January 18, 2020 Posted January 18, 2020 Pokemon Spoiler A bunch of immortal 12 year olds run around, kidnapping animals and forcing them to fight each other. 4
Koloss17 She/They Posted January 19, 2020 Posted January 19, 2020 Oathbringer Spoiler Every character being insecure and traumatized for twelve hundred pages 9
NameIess Posted January 20, 2020 Posted January 20, 2020 Warbreaker: Spoiler Priests decide to worship those who return from the dead by encouraging them to kill themselves. A god who doesn't believe in his own religion gives away the codes that control his countries army of revived corpses, then decides to believe in his religion, and kills himself to give his king a tongue. A spoiled princess is forced to take her sisters place in a marriage contract to a revived corpse, then falls in love with said revived corpse. Other spoiled princess gets mad that her sister was sent to marry the revived corpse in her place, and follows her sister in an attempt "rescue" her, but accidentally almost starts a war. Man who came back to life attempts to keep a war from happening with a sword that sucks out the souls of both those who use it, and those whom it kills. It turns out that the butler was behind it all, and he gets killed by the god king. Then the god king orders an army of skeletons covered in stone to kill his kingdoms entire army, and everyone is happy. 5
Reckless Reader Posted January 20, 2020 Posted January 20, 2020 Alternate Warbreaker: Spoiler Pretty zombies argue over whether or not they need a small patch of land. Meanwhile, a sassy lump of smoke manipulates people into dying for being bad. 11
Bookish Ocelot she/her Posted January 22, 2020 Posted January 22, 2020 2019: Spoiler Wow things are increasingly bad but the memes are increasingly good 8
Nathrangking he/him Posted January 22, 2020 Posted January 22, 2020 AoL Spoiler A tale of butlers, crazy lawmen, and lucky hats.
Bookish Ocelot she/her Posted January 23, 2020 Posted January 23, 2020 Heathers Spoiler They killed themselves, but not really. And then he kills himself, but really. 1
SirWolfe Posted January 23, 2020 Posted January 23, 2020 Shadows For Silence In The Forests Of Hell Spoiler Grandma kills the tax collector. 5
Eluvianii he/him Posted January 27, 2020 Posted January 27, 2020 Persona 3: Spoiler You and your friends fight tarot cards to save the world, which actually dooms the world. Then an unbeatable final boss appears, but you beat it anyway by turning into a door. Persona 4: Spoiler There's a killer on the loose and you and your friends catch him, but it's not him, then you catch him, but it's not him, then you catch him this time for good, but turns out he wasn't the bad guy. 1
Wyndlerunner he/him Posted January 27, 2020 Posted January 27, 2020 On 9/27/2019 at 0:47 PM, Eluvianii said: Fate/Stay Night UBW: Reveal hidden contents This- is absolute gold! 1
Eluvianii he/him Posted January 27, 2020 Posted January 27, 2020 1 hour ago, Wyndlerunner said: This- is absolute gold! Thanks!
Wyndlerunner he/him Posted January 27, 2020 Posted January 27, 2020 Just now, Eluvianii said: Thanks! You're welcome! UBW was the third anime I ever watched, so it will always hold a special place in my heart 1
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