Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

I put something on my writing thread that explains some stuff if anyone wants to see it. Not having a great day today.

[Canada Lover]

On 11/29/2023 at 1:42 PM, Cruciatus_heart said:

So it's been my 17th birthday for about ten minutes now and my elder sister who I completely adored and trusted for nearly all of these 17 years didnt even wish me. We share a room btw. 

And i. I don't know. Recently I've been realising that though I loved her, she's been absolutely toxic to me and because I trusted her so blindly has stopped me from achieving quite a lot of what I wanted to. 

It hurts when you realise that the love was fake all along. And yeah she has her trauma but there's always a choice. 

Always. 

I've also been feeling kind of lonely lately. Cause like, I have friends but I am no one's favourite person. There is no one who is excited by my text, there's no one who initiates a hang out with me, there's no one who wants to tell me al their gossip. 

I'm just...there. i just exist. 

I feel you. I spent my birthday with my friends in the hot sun against my will even though I didn't want to do it, and my literal dentist was the first one to wish me a happy birthday via email.

[The Honorable Musician he/him]

35 minutes ago, Canada Lover said:

I feel you. I spent my birthday with my friends in the hot sun against my will even though I didn't want to do it, and my literal dentist was the first one to wish me a happy birthday via email.

That's because you didn't tell anyone when your birthday was.

[Canada Lover]

11 hours ago, Ookla the Wayfarer said:

That's because you didn't tell anyone when your birthday was.

I told you not to do it that day. Also, I did tell one person, and they didn't care.

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

I, once again, am having a bad day.

I am conducting an interview for a school project and freaking out about it. I’m so worried that I won’t be able to get the zoom link up or something like that, and the guy I’m interviewing is super busy so I can’t just waste his time. I’ve been worried about this and do my focus hasn’t been great, and I’m not very good at math anyways, and so in math class my brilliant friend who has already taken the class before, the school just didn’t count it for credit, belittled me because I didn’t remember how to do something with it. And I’m not happy right now and not trying to hide it, and so he also asked me if I’m ok. I said no and none of my friends care (I sit with a group of four of my friends). They also asked if I’m feeling depressed, I said yes and once again they didn’t care, they just mocked my answer and me. They don’t mean anything by it but it still hurts, and it hurts more that they don’t care.

So yeah, I’m not having a great day right now.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

1 minute ago, Ookla the foolish said:

I, once again, am having a bad day.

I am conducting an interview for a school project and freaking out about it. I’m so worried that I won’t be able to get the zoom link up or something like that, and the guy I’m interviewing is super busy so I can’t just waste his time. I’ve been worried about this and do my focus hasn’t been great, and I’m not very good at math anyways, and so in math class my brilliant friend who has already taken the class before, the school just didn’t count it for credit, belittled me because I didn’t remember how to do something with it. And I’m not happy right now and not trying to hide it, and so he also asked me if I’m ok. I said no and none of my friends care (I sit with a group of four of my friends). They also asked if I’m feeling depressed, I said yes and once again they didn’t care, they just mocked my answer and me. They don’t mean anything by it but it still hurts, and it hurts more that they don’t care.

So yeah, I’m not having a great day right now.

*hugs massively*

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

8 minutes ago, Ookla the foolish said:

I, once again, am having a bad day.

I am conducting an interview for a school project and freaking out about it. I’m so worried that I won’t be able to get the zoom link up or something like that, and the guy I’m interviewing is super busy so I can’t just waste his time. I’ve been worried about this and do my focus hasn’t been great, and I’m not very good at math anyways, and so in math class my brilliant friend who has already taken the class before, the school just didn’t count it for credit, belittled me because I didn’t remember how to do something with it. And I’m not happy right now and not trying to hide it, and so he also asked me if I’m ok. I said no and none of my friends care (I sit with a group of four of my friends). They also asked if I’m feeling depressed, I said yes and once again they didn’t care, they just mocked my answer and me. They don’t mean anything by it but it still hurts, and it hurts more that they don’t care.

So yeah, I’m not having a great day right now.

*tackle hugs* im so sorry, just go find some other friends. if theyre doing that to you, they arent your friends.

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

12 minutes ago, Ookla the Raveness said:

*hugs massively*

*hugs massively back*

Thank you.

5 minutes ago, Ookla of Ravens said:

*tackle hugs* im so sorry, just go find some other friends. if theyre doing that to you, they arent your friends.

Well…the thing is they are my friends and I don’t know who else I would find to be my friends. They don’t realize how much what they’re doing hurts me, and I usually enjoy being around them, they can just be very insensitive. And the biggest thing is that there isn’t anyone better to be around at my school, it’s really small and I’ve tried hanging out with different groups, these kids are the ones that accept me the most. But thank you for the advice, it means a lot that people actually care.

[Edema Rue she/her]

17 minutes ago, Ookla the foolish said:

I, once again, am having a bad day.

I am conducting an interview for a school project and freaking out about it. I’m so worried that I won’t be able to get the zoom link up or something like that, and the guy I’m interviewing is super busy so I can’t just waste his time. I’ve been worried about this and do my focus hasn’t been great, and I’m not very good at math anyways, and so in math class my brilliant friend who has already taken the class before, the school just didn’t count it for credit, belittled me because I didn’t remember how to do something with it. And I’m not happy right now and not trying to hide it, and so he also asked me if I’m ok. I said no and none of my friends care (I sit with a group of four of my friends). They also asked if I’m feeling depressed, I said yes and once again they didn’t care, they just mocked my answer and me. They don’t mean anything by it but it still hurts, and it hurts more that they don’t care.

So yeah, I’m not having a great day right now.

*more hugs*

Friends are tough, school is tough, and it can wear you down. Keep breathing. This isn't all that there is; whatever happens right now doesn't define who you are.

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

1 minute ago, Ookla the foolish said:

*hugs massively back*

Thank you.

Well…the thing is they are my friends and I don’t know who else I would find to be my friends. They don’t realize how much what they’re doing hurts me, and I usually enjoy being around them, they can just be very insensitive. And the biggest thing is that there isn’t anyone better to be around at my school, it’s really small and I’ve tried hanging out with different groups, these kids are the ones that accept me the most. But thank you for the advice, it means a lot that people actually care.

Oh, i didnt know about that. Well, i would just say be frank about it: tell them that what they do hurts you, and that they are the most accepting to you. thats my advice, take it with a grain of salt.

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

7 minutes ago, Ookla the Believer said:

*more hugs*

Friends are tough, school is tough, and it can wear you down. Keep breathing. This isn't all that there is; whatever happens right now doesn't define who you are.

That’s very true, and I’ll try, thank you.

7 minutes ago, Ookla of Ravens said:

Oh, i didnt know about that. Well, i would just say be frank about it: tell them that what they do hurts you, and that they are the most accepting to you. thats my advice, take it with a grain of salt.

 Thank you for the advice, it’s good. My problem with it is I am very bad at talking about my feelings to people, admitting that I’m feeling depressed was really hard already. But that would be a very good thing to do if I can muster the strength.

[Edema Rue she/her]

15 minutes ago, Ookla the foolish said:

That’s very true, and I’ll try, thank you.

 Thank you for the advice, it’s good. My problem with it is I am very bad at talking about my feelings to people, admitting that I’m feeling depressed was really hard already. But that would be a very good thing to do if I can muster the strength.

Yeah. And that's okay. You can take all the time you need, and we'll all be here to care whichever way you go.

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

I have an update

I am doing some better. I’m over my panic attack, I got the interview over with (my fears were well founded, there were technical difficulties involved), and I’m away from math and those friends from earlier. Thank you everyone for your support!

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

Just now, Ookla the foolish said:

I have an update

I am doing some better. I’m over my panic attack, I got the interview over with (my fears were well founded, there were technical difficulties involved), and I’m away from math and those friends from earlier. Thank you everyone for your support!

Hooray!!

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

thats amazing!

[Canada Lover]

9 hours ago, Ookla the foolish said:

I, once again, am having a bad day.

I am conducting an interview for a school project and freaking out about it. I’m so worried that I won’t be able to get the zoom link up or something like that, and the guy I’m interviewing is super busy so I can’t just waste his time. I’ve been worried about this and do my focus hasn’t been great, and I’m not very good at math anyways, and so in math class my brilliant friend who has already taken the class before, the school just didn’t count it for credit, belittled me because I didn’t remember how to do something with it. And I’m not happy right now and not trying to hide it, and so he also asked me if I’m ok. I said no and none of my friends care (I sit with a group of four of my friends). They also asked if I’m feeling depressed, I said yes and once again they didn’t care, they just mocked my answer and me. They don’t mean anything by it but it still hurts, and it hurts more that they don’t care.

So yeah, I’m not having a great day right now.

*hugs* I know what it feels like to be made fun of. Also to look for a new friend group. I didn't have trouble with it, as I knew a lot of people, but the best way I find is to simply introduce yourself and ask if they want to be friends. I know sometimes school is very small, with not a lot of different groups in it, and, well, if that's the case, just sit alone.

[Throw TheLiving Silverware he/him/il/lui]

Well.

Today is exam day.

And for the first time in my life, I didn’t hear my alarm.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

1 minute ago, Ookla the Dreamer said:

Well.

Today is exam day.

And for the first time in my life, I didn’t hear my alarm.

*hugs hugs hugs*

[Throw TheLiving Silverware he/him/il/lui]

28 minutes ago, Ookla the Raveness said:

*hugs hugs hugs*

Thanks  It wasn't as bad as it seems, my aunt woke me up early enough and then I went through my morning routine in speedrunner mode. I might actually end up on time. 

Still, of all the days this could happen? Seriously?

[+Wax he/him]

On 11/19/2023 at 10:22 PM, Ookla the Dreamer said:

warning: long and completely insane rant incoming

  Reveal hidden contents

So basically I have been addicted to video games (or rather a specific game) for like a year now and it's been completely ruining my life bc i'm a student and instead of doing the work i had to, well i was just playing, sometimes all day long (i do mean that, there has been days i just got out of bed, ate my breakfast, started playing and just kept on until bedtime, pausing olny for lunch and dinner)

it's a miracle i validated last semester honestly the main reason is that most of my grades were group projects where i pulled... lets say far less than my weight

some of you might remember how i basically disappeared from the shard overnight last year, well that was when the addiction ramped up significantly

i've tried all parental control softwares existing out there to try limiting myself but that kind of things is useless when you have the password to give yourself just another hour time and time again

and now it's really starting to crush me i have tons of work to finish in the next days/weeks 

and guess what i have been doing yesterday all day long instead of doing that work

i just kept repeating myself "you'll have time to do all of that later" WELL NOT ANYMORE YOU MORON

i just uninstalled for like the fifth time in two months, i set up several of those parental control things so that they block me from reinstalling steam and then they block each other, but i know one day or another i'll find a way around like all the previous times "come on just an hour each day, this time you'll be able to limit yourself" and then i start playing and never stop

and now all the work i have to do, the exams coming soon, the project to finish tomorrow, the mooc to complete today, the internship i should have found like yesterday but i haven't even started searching... it just feels like a mountain except it's entirely my fault it's like this

 

i havent been doing anything with my life for so long now and it's driving me crazy

 

 

I had a similar challenge years ago with a video game.

I was able to uninstall and let it itgo after a couple of times though.

I recently got back in and the same issue and cycle.

I used a different technique this time. I quit my job recently, and promised myself I won't use the game until I got a new job. It's installed still, but I haven't touched it since.

---

PS I'm unemployed now because I hated my last job. Hopefully, I can get something soon.

 

[Throw TheLiving Silverware he/him/il/lui]

23 hours ago, Wax said:

 

I had a similar challenge years ago with a video game.

I was able to uninstall and let it itgo after a couple of times though.

I recently got back in and the same issue and cycle.

I used a different technique this time. I quit my job recently, and promised myself I won't use the game until I got a new job. It's installed still, but I haven't touched it since.

---

PS I'm unemployed now because I hated my last job. Hopefully, I can get something soon.

 

*hugs*

I'm really sorry you had to go through that. And also I'm amazed by the fact that you are able to have the game still installed and not play it, like I haven't played since almost a month but only because I made it absolutely impossible to download Steam. And even then I've still been filling the void with... literally anything else but studying

How did you not get sucked in something else (watching YT videos, browsing social media... idk there are so many mindless timekilling distractions these days)?

Good luck on your job search! 

[Wittles he/him]

I am so sick and tired of being tired. There is almost no way I don't have some sort of sleep disorder, whether it be insomnia or something else. I can never get a full night's sleep unless I've gotten less than 2 hours of sleep in a 24 hour time period. This has been going on for pretty much my whole life but in the past few years, it's really starting to break me. I've tried to joke it off to everyone who mentions sleep while being mad at myself for not just going to sleep, but it's to the point where I can't joke about it anymore. As if that wasn't bad enough, I frequently get in trouble with my parents for not waking up on time and not going to sleep on time and it used to really hurt but I'm just completely numb by now. I've tried just about everything people have recommended to me, but none of it works. I can't just go to sleep and I get in trouble for staying awake, and when I finally get to sleep, it's only a few hours before I get in trouble for not waking up on time. It's just really messing me up and I don't know how to fix it. 

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

4 minutes ago, Wittles of Shinovar said:

I am so sick and tired of being tired. There is almost no way I don't have some sort of sleep disorder, whether it be insomnia or something else. I can never get a full night's sleep unless I've gotten less than 2 hours of sleep in a 24 hour time period. This has been going on for pretty much my whole life but in the past few years, it's really starting to break me. I've tried to joke it off to everyone who mentions sleep while being mad at myself for not just going to sleep, but it's to the point where I can't joke about it anymore. As if that wasn't bad enough, I frequently get in trouble with my parents for not waking up on time and not going to sleep on time and it used to really hurt but I'm just completely numb by now. I've tried just about everything people have recommended to me, but none of it works. I can't just go to sleep and I get in trouble for staying awake, and when I finally get to sleep, it's only a few hours before I get in trouble for not waking up on time. It's just really messing me up and I don't know how to fix it. 

*hugs just hugs*

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

1 hour ago, Wittles of Shinovar said:

I am so sick and tired of being tired. There is almost no way I don't have some sort of sleep disorder, whether it be insomnia or something else. I can never get a full night's sleep unless I've gotten less than 2 hours of sleep in a 24 hour time period. This has been going on for pretty much my whole life but in the past few years, it's really starting to break me. I've tried to joke it off to everyone who mentions sleep while being mad at myself for not just going to sleep, but it's to the point where I can't joke about it anymore. As if that wasn't bad enough, I frequently get in trouble with my parents for not waking up on time and not going to sleep on time and it used to really hurt but I'm just completely numb by now. I've tried just about everything people have recommended to me, but none of it works. I can't just go to sleep and I get in trouble for staying awake, and when I finally get to sleep, it's only a few hours before I get in trouble for not waking up on time. It's just really messing me up and I don't know how to fix it. 

*many many hugs*
I know it’s hard to talk about, especially with someone you don’t know like a doctor, but something one of my friends does (he also has a really hard time falling asleep at night) is take prescribed medication that is very strong. I don’t know if you have tried that already, but it might be something to consider.

[Throw TheLiving Silverware he/him/il/lui]

2 hours ago, Wittles of Shinovar said:

I am so sick and tired of being tired. There is almost no way I don't have some sort of sleep disorder, whether it be insomnia or something else. I can never get a full night's sleep unless I've gotten less than 2 hours of sleep in a 24 hour time period. This has been going on for pretty much my whole life but in the past few years, it's really starting to break me. I've tried to joke it off to everyone who mentions sleep while being mad at myself for not just going to sleep, but it's to the point where I can't joke about it anymore. As if that wasn't bad enough, I frequently get in trouble with my parents for not waking up on time and not going to sleep on time and it used to really hurt but I'm just completely numb by now. I've tried just about everything people have recommended to me, but none of it works. I can't just go to sleep and I get in trouble for staying awake, and when I finally get to sleep, it's only a few hours before I get in trouble for not waking up on time. It's just really messing me up and I don't know how to fix it. 

*more hugs*

I second Lightweaver2 here. If this is a health issue -and one that massively affects your daily life at that- then you should see a doctor. 

I hope for you that you find a solution somehow to your problems. You really deserve it.

Completely off topic: I just saw what your profile pic was. Great choice!