Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[Calderis he/him]

I'm done. I'm just... 

So we put down our cat on Friday. Spent yesterday and today moving to the new house and right before we left for the last trip our other cat got out. 

I couldn't stay to look for it because all of our fish were bagged up for the move, and my dad dropped the tank while loading it on the truck. So I rushed out and bought a new 75 gallon tank. 

I'm turning in the moving truck right now, my wife is at the house setting up the new tank to get the fish in, and I hope I can find my cat. 

I just got a new house this is supposed to be happy. I can't deal with losing another pet right now. 

[Sunbird she/her]

28 minutes ago, Calderis said:

I'm done. I'm just... 

So we put down our cat on Friday. Spent yesterday and today moving to the new house and right before we left for the last trip our other cat got out. 

I couldn't stay to look for it because all of our fish were bagged up for the move, and my dad dropped the tank while loading it on the truck. So I rushed out and bought a new 75 gallon tank. 

I'm turning in the moving truck right now, my wife is at the house setting up the new tank to get the fish in, and I hope I can find my cat. 

I just got a new house this is supposed to be happy. I can't deal with losing another pet right now. 

*all the hugs* Praying for you to find your lost kitty.

[Pestis the Spider she/her]

It's 11 pm. I have 10 hours to write 2500 words long essay that I have barely started, I am struggling to make myself work on it, but I have to. I already failed to that once and if I fail again I will waste 4 years of university. I also have exams in a week that I need to retake, and I haven't studied. Instead of doing it I am only dwelling for last 3 days, trying to find every excuse not to do it, because I feel like I should fail. That if I fail everyone will finally see the truth about me, that I am in fact terrible, worthless person that noone needs. I want someone to kill me. I won't do it myself, because I am afraid and I don't think I deserve a break from hurting. I want someone to realise how useless I am, how much they hate me and just get rid of me. I hate myself. God, I hate myself so much. It's been going now for over two years, and despite meds, some counselling, various help, it doesn't seem to get much better. I am just so tired of it all. 

And the worst part of it is just how alone I am. And also the knowledge, that even I somehow turn my life around now, write my essay, pass my exams, graduate, find wonderful job, I will always be alone. I don't know how to interact with people, and to be honest I dodn't really like it. I am terrified of them. Even interacting with my parents is hard, as I feel they don't understand me, and that I don't understand me. Whenever someone seems to care about me I totally freak out and drive them away, because I just am scared. I like to tell myself that I don't need anyone, that I am fine on my own, but that is a lie. I would like to have a friend. A single one, but I don't know how. I always ultimately drive them away or, if it doesn't work, lock myself away. 

I am sorry for crying here again. And again. It's not the first time that I complain in this topic. But there really is just noone else, no other place, and sometimes I just can't take it anymore. How do you learn how to live a happy life?

[Steeldancer he/him]

57 minutes ago, Pestis the Spider said:

It's 11 pm. I have 10 hours to write 2500 words long essay that I have barely started, I am struggling to make myself work on it, but I have to. I already failed to that once and if I fail again I will waste 4 years of university. I also have exams in a week that I need to retake, and I haven't studied. Instead of doing it I am only dwelling for last 3 days, trying to find every excuse not to do it, because I feel like I should fail. That if I fail everyone will finally see the truth about me, that I am in fact terrible, worthless person that noone needs. I want someone to kill me. I won't do it myself, because I am afraid and I don't think I deserve a break from hurting. I want someone to realise how useless I am, how much they hate me and just get rid of me. I hate myself. God, I hate myself so much. It's been going now for over two years, and despite meds, some counselling, various help, it doesn't seem to get much better. I am just so tired of it all. 

And the worst part of it is just how alone I am. And also the knowledge, that even I somehow turn my life around now, write my essay, pass my exams, graduate, find wonderful job, I will always be alone. I don't know how to interact with people, and to be honest I dodn't really like it. I am terrified of them. Even interacting with my parents is hard, as I feel they don't understand me, and that I don't understand me. Whenever someone seems to care about me I totally freak out and drive them away, because I just am scared. I like to tell myself that I don't need anyone, that I am fine on my own, but that is a lie. I would like to have a friend. A single one, but I don't know how. I always ultimately drive them away or, if it doesn't work, lock myself away. 

I am sorry for crying here again. And again. It's not the first time that I complain in this topic. But there really is just noone else, no other place, and sometimes I just can't take it anymore. How do you learn how to live a happy life?

Gosh I dont want to get preachy but I find all those answers through God. He's helped me through some moments where I felt so alone that I had no one to turn to. I suspect that if I had not had that, I would have lost all hope. 

But all I can suggest is just do it. It's going to be hard. I know it's going to be hard, I struggle with similar issues (although admittedly I still get by. Spoiled by talent I suppose). 

But I can promise you one thing: somewhere out there there is at least one person who can understand you. I didn't believe that myself until in the last year I met someone who did. You are never alone. Whether God, or a person, or just this thread, someone is there for you. Now go do your best. But don't procrastinate any more. 

[Pestis the Spider she/her]

I don't believe in God. And I used to get by using talent, but talent is not going to help me when I skip all the lectures and then am too afraid to leave the house and skip the exams too. And it's wait too late for me to do my best. 

[Steeldancer he/him]

1 minute ago, Pestis the Spider said:

I don't believe in God. And I used to get by using talent, but talent is not going to help me when I skip all the lectures and then am too afraid to leave the house and skip the exams too. And it's wait too late for me to do my best. 

Well obviously what you've done you've done. The point is to do everything you can now. Don't waste time bemoaning your lack of judgement. Deal with your education now. Then deal with social issues. There are classes and such that you can take to learn to make friends. But right now doing that essay is the highest priority. So even if you get no sleep or whatever, do everything you can.

As for God, I can only speak for my own experience. Without God, I would not have had the hope that quite literally gave me reason to stay alive for a while. But I'm not here to preach, I'm here to help you the best I can. 

All I can say is i truly feel for you. I empathize with what your dealing with. But from experience, the only way out of this situation is to DO. 

Even if you fail, you can at least say that in the end you tried. And that feels a heck of a lot better than knowing you didn't try at all. 

[Calderis he/him]

3 hours ago, Sunbird said:

*all the hugs* Praying for you to find your lost kitty.

I have no idea where she was hiding, but she was inside. I have no idea how she hid, because all the furniture was already out of the house. 

The fish are all happy in their new sandy bottomed tank, and the cat is now hiding to destress near her litter box in the new place. 

I feel so much better. 

[Oversleep]

3 hours ago, Pestis the Spider said:

It's 11 pm. I have 10 hours to write 2500 words long essay that I have barely started, I am struggling to make myself work on it, but I have to. I already failed to that once and if I fail again I will waste 4 years of university. I also have exams in a week that I need to retake, and I haven't studied. Instead of doing it I am only dwelling for last 3 days, trying to find every excuse not to do it, because I feel like I should fail. That if I fail everyone will finally see the truth about me, that I am in fact terrible, worthless person that noone needs.

I've been there.

No. That's a lie.

I am here.

I'm not sure what can I tell you or what advice to give - because that's something I'd really want to know, too. I'm not sure how people like us can fix ourselves; every time I say that this time I won't put stuff away for later or that I will keep up with material or some other lie. Then I go and don't do it. I'm not sure what's wrong with me.

People will say "well, just don't procrastinate" or some other stuff like that. But that's not how it works. We know that.

I also had exams - and well, I hate to admit it, but most of them I passed by dumb luck. I got a question I studied for. Some... I didn't show up for one of them. I was there, at the university, revising at the last minute - that's a lie again. I was falling asleep over somebody's notes because the night before I pretended to study instead of sleeping. Then I didn't go to that exam.

It felt absolutely the worst. My mind was not a nice place to be then. If I screw up anything else from that point on, I will be kicked out of university. And even that does not motivate me enough.

Point is... point is, there is no solution. No solution I know of. You just have to grit your teeth really hard and do it anyway, despite your mind telling you it's pointless and that you will fail anyway. It's useless and I will fail anyway and that whole pile of horsedung "well at least I tried" is one big fat lie; there's only one thing you can do - and I'm sorry I sound so cheap - and it's powering through. Even without reason to keep fighting, with knowledge it's all for nothing. You have to power through.

I won't say I believe in you or some other cheap thing like that, because somebody believing in me does nothing except I feel worse when I fail anyway.
No.
But I do understand how you feel. I wish I could hug you.
Please, keep fighting. Not for me, not for yourself, not for the fight itself. Just do it. For no reason. Fight.

And if you want to talk, I'm always here.

Edited July 31, 2017 by Oversleep

[Silverblade5 he/him]

51 minutes ago, Calderis said:

I have no idea where she was hiding, but she was inside. I have no idea how she hid, because all the furniture was already out of the house. 

The fish are all happy in their new sandy bottomed tank, and the cat is now hiding to destress near her litter box in the new place. 

I feel so much better. 

One time, my stepmom found one of her many cats in the dryer.

[Sunbird she/her]

53 minutes ago, Calderis said:

I have no idea where she was hiding, but she was inside. I have no idea how she hid, because all the furniture was already out of the house. 

The fish are all happy in their new sandy bottomed tank, and the cat is now hiding to destress near her litter box in the new place. 

I feel so much better. 

I'm so glad you found her! *hugs* I had a similar scare with one of my kitties recently after our front door got left open for like an hour, but she came out from her hiding place after I called her for a few minutes. I was so relieved.

[+Extesian he/him]

1 hour ago, Calderis said:

I have no idea where she was hiding, but she was inside. I have no idea how she hid, because all the furniture was already out of the house. 

The fish are all happy in their new sandy bottomed tank, and the cat is now hiding to destress near her litter box in the new place. 

I feel so much better. 

I'm happy for a ray of sunshine in a terrible week for you

[Claincy he/him]

@Pestis the Spider & @Oversleep

I also have significant motivation issues. I had them before I got sick and always having pain as an excuse to try to do things when it hurts less is decidedly unhelpful. In any case, I can share what I'm doing to try to improve and if it helps, cool. If you don't think my advice will work for you feel free to ignore it.  I'm not in any way a professional or expert to do with this, what I do know is mostly based on experience, game design + gamification and a little bit of education knowledge.

Hums to Consideration.

So first up if you aren't aware of the terms there are 2 major types of motivators, intrinsic and extrinsic. Intrinsic motivators are internal reasons that you want to do something such as wanting to improve, wanting to see what you can achieve or simply enjoying doing it. Extrinsic motivators are external things that influence you: points, badges, leaderboards, scores, due dates, rewards etc. As a quick illustration when posting a theory on the shard wanting to share your ideas with others would be an intrinsic motivator and upvotes an extrinsic one.

In an ideal situation in game design, education, work or any other aspect of life you want the intrinsic motivators to be what keeps you going. In practice this isn't usually the case. But it's the difference between doing your job because you love it and doing it because you need money. (Even if you do love your job sometimes you're only going to do it because you need the money, that's pretty inevitable.) The danger with extrinsic motivators is that they can override intrinsic ones. If you take something that is intrinsically rewarding and add extrinsic rewards for a time you will find that the intrinsic motivators aren't as strong when you remove the extrinsic ones. So it pays to be careful how you use them, but in a situation where you aren't finding the motivation to get anything done the intrinsic motivators are already failing anyway. Creating a simple rewards system might help.

A few notes on what I think makes for a good personal reward system

• Meaningless points are pretty meaningless. If grades aren't motivating you a point total with no meaning probably won't either. If it does work for you in the short term then cool! But sooner or later the meaninglessness of the points usually sinks in.
• A good reward system should have both short and long term rewards. The long term rewards give you a greater sense of satisfaction and accomplishment and they can be very helpful in setting up longer term habits but they aren't so effective at motivating you to get something done now. Short term goals lack the longer term effectiveness but can give you that impetus to get you working in a particular instance.
• Avoid due dates and failure states, there's enough of those in real life. The last thing you want is to fail something in your reward system and have it start to demotivate you. Focus instead on accumulating toward a goal. Maybe you give yourself 2 points for every hour spent and when that total reaches 10 you get a (minor) reward. When it reaches 80-100 you give yourself something more substantial.
• It can also be nice to reward yourself slightly for milestones, but make certain you establish in advance exactly what those rewards will be. You might set out in advance that you get a bonus 5 points for every assignment you submit and 15 for sitting an exam. Don't tie it to what grade you get from those tasks, for now the point is just actually getting them done.
• As part of the point is to try to build a habit of work it could be useful to assign some sort of bonus for consistency. This could take the form of an extra 5 points at the end of the week if you worked for at least an hour on 5 days that week (for example).
• Ideally for the rewards you want to pick something that you don't currently have/do so that you feel like you're gaining something rather than taking something away from yourself. Examples could include specific foods, objects you want to buy (books/games/whatever), time spent playing X game you really want or whatever else you want.
• Setting a schedule for yourself might or might not work. I don't because I've found my health is too inconsistent for me to stick to it and in general failing to stick to your schedule can be fairly demotivating. Hence why I prefer to reward based on quantity done/things accomplished. Still, a consistent amount per day or a specific time of day you will start can be helpful and a schedule may work for you.
• Accountability. Do it. This is really important. Find someone, online or in person, that you are comfortable talking with about this. Tell them what your system is and get them to ask you how it is going every now and then. If you've told someone (or multiple someones) about your system and about how you won't be getting those rewards except through this system it's a lot easier to stick to it.
• You're absolutely going to have times where you're feeling particularly down and you really want a reward from your system that you haven't earned yet. Do not allow yourself to slip. You have to be hard on yourself and exercise self control in this, particularly if you had to pre-purchase whatever the rewards are and keep them in storage somewhere. The good news here is that stopping yourself from doing something is easier than motivating yourself to do something so the self control required is easier to manage I find. This point is why the accountability is so crucial too. If you're about to take one of your rewards when you shouldn't then go do something/get something that isn't part of your rewards system. It might not be great, it could waste time and/or money but better to do so in a way that doesn't break your system. An example could be going to buy an icecream or burning a couple of hours playing a game with friends instead of taking one of your rewards when you shouldn't.
• Similarly, don't reward yourself early. If you do it and don't finish whatever you were rewarding yourself for you're on a slippery slope. I have admittedly at times let my points go slightly negative to get a piece of rpg miniatures terrain that I really wanted for a particular session, then earned back through that. Do not do that if you can avoid it and especially don't do it until you've been using the system for a while and are comfortable with it and in your ability to stick with it through that.
• It's hard. But it is doable.
• One thing I've found is that the big problem I have is starting work. Once I've got 20-30 minutes in the intrinsic motivators kick in properly and I can keep going for x hours but getting over that initial bump and getting started is really hard and that's the purpose of the short term rewards.

One of the key things to think about with a rewards system like this is that your ultimate aim is to get yourself back into the habit of working. Once you are in the habit of working, rather than the habit of procrastinating things get easier.

In my previous system I ordered a bunch of dwarven forge miniatures terrain, spread the postage cost between the sets and noted the effective cost of each. Then I put them in storage. Each hour of paid work I did I gave myself 2 points (I also set some small point rewards for major milestones in my own creative work). When I had enough points to equal the cost of one of the sets I'd expend those points, drop that amount of money back into my savings account and get the set.

This system worked reasonably well in that it provided some motivation and stopped me from spending too much money on dwarven forge. It did have some major problems however, in particular:

• Getting any 1 set took anywhere from around 40 to 70 hours of work so it worked well for long term rewards but not short term so it wasn't as effective at motivating me as I'd hoped.
• I was spending too much money on other stuff.

The system I use now is probably a bit over the top and nerdy for most people's opinions but it works better for me so who cares! (It is probably a bit more than I'd recommend though as it is specifically tailored to me and my situation/health/personality but for the sake of an example...)

I earn points in roughly the same way as the previous system. Predominantly from paid hours worked with some creative milestone rewards. I've increased it from 2 points to 3 per hour because of how much of my other expenses/"things I'd like" I've added to the system and stopped spending money on outside of it.

The core of the reward system is a loot box program that I wrote and populate with things I want. I've set it up so I can spend points to purchase boxes from myself of the following types, each containing 4 randomly selected items:

• Common (20 points): 4 common items with a 1 in 3 chance of an uncommon and a 1 in 20 chance of a rare (but only one or the other)
• Uncommon (40 points): 3 common items with 1 guaranteed uncommon with a 1 in 5 chance of a rare instead
• Rare (70 points): 3 common items with 1 guaranteed rare with a 1 in 3 chance of 1 of the commons being an uncommon

The packs all draw items from the same list which has:

• name
• rarity (common/uncommon/rare)
• Quantity gained (1 for most things)
• Quantity available
• Probability weight (So I can make some things that are the same rarity that I like more than others show up more often)
• Name of the image to display on the item card

For common items currently there are miniatures (standard size) and tokens. Each token represents $5 towards one of the following: Dwarven forge, kickstarter, DVDs or Video Games. (The dwarven forge tokens have a higher weight than any other common item.) In uncommon I have the possibility for 3 dwarven forge tokens, a larger miniature or a soundtrack and for rare I currently have special minis (particularly large ones) or a larger number of tokens. I do have other things coming that will also be added to this system when they arrive, some from various kickstarters and it's super easy to add new things or adjust the probabilities.

I can also expend points to directly purchase something off myself that I want immediately but that's deliberately less cost effective than buying the boxes.

Opening loot boxes is a powerful psychological pull that is commonly used (and abused) in game design as a result. used carefully it's an effective motivator and because the only things in the loot box are things that I want it's a guaranteed positive with a chance of a pleasant surprise.

Naturally enough I get weird looks when I talk about this system but so far it has been helping *shrugs*.

Anyway, just some advice based on things I'm trying. If it isn't useful just ignore it.

Edit: One last note. My current system is fairly based on things that cost money but it doesn't have to be. I have multiple casual positions with extremely flexible hours that pay quite well. This system now covers the vast majority of all money I spend that isn't on meals/rent/health stuffs/and general life expenditures. So it's simultaneously a motivation thing and a budgeting thing and is helping me spend less.

Edited July 31, 2017 by Claincy

[Delightful]

tl;dr the whole thing but I did read some and it looks like a significant part of it is valuing the journey and not just the destination. if I've put in a lot of effort and gotten no results, ill still pat myself on the back for putting in the effort. It wasn't the result I wanted but its also not nothing. 

Also, standard Delightful advice, if you can, go get professional help. If it's a brain chemical thing, medicine can really help, and even if not, a psychologist can help you work through motivational issues. 

I'm cheering for you!

[Jondesu he/him]

19 hours ago, axcellence said:

I don't like whinging.  But I am having trouble with money.  2 years ago, I lost my high paying job.  Ever since, I just couldn't  land another job.  Now, I've invested into getting into a new business, but not getting customers.

so yeah, 6 months more like this and I'll be in a big financial heap.

I've been through and am still in money trouble too.  A few years ago I tried to start my own business and had big troubles getting customers, and had to go to an entry-level job to get by. Right now we've been about a year with no income, and definitely in a big financial heap.  I wish you the best, and I don't think you're whining at all! (I'm American, deal with the different spelling. )

[Sparkrunner he/him]

Ahm... For everyone who feels this applies to them:

Perspective.

I do this whenever I get badly hurt. It hurts more than I can stand, right? No. I think back to ten years ago and I cannot remember the pain that much. In another ten years I will not remember the pain, but the effects will still be with me. If you are having trouble with the exam, put yourself through a lot of pain. In ten years if you pass you will have the positive effects but you will not remember the pain.

[Jedal he/him]

My parents are getting divorced.

 

They just announced this to the family today, and I have no idea what to think. I'm angry, yet also I feel strangely disconnected. I don't really know what to do or how to feel.

[Oversleep]

22 hours ago, Oversleep said:

If I screw up anything else from that point on, I will be kicked out of university. And even that does not motivate me enough.

Not a day later I find out that they do expel me.

Which is weird since after my two semester's of dean's leave I should be entitled to a semester-without-enrollment (a "ghost" semester). I just found out that my request for one was dismissed - which is weird since I consulted that with deputy dean last semester.

I'm... I'm afraid.

[Calderis he/him]

2 hours ago, Oversleep said:

Not a day later I find out that they do expel me.

Which is weird since after my two semester's of dean's leave I should be entitled to a semester-without-enrollment (a "ghost" semester). I just found out that my request for one was dismissed - which is weird since I consulted that with deputy dean last semester.

I'm... I'm afraid.

I wish there was something I could say or do to help you. 

I've been in a similar situation... And the only thing I can say from experience is that hitting bottom teaches you a lot about yourself. 

I know that's not very comforting, and I'm sorry. 

You can make it through this though. You'll be stronger for it. It's hard and it's frightening. It does get better though. The hardest part is figuring out what you want. Not what you think you should want. Not what other people tell you you should want, but what you really want. 

I'm sorry I'm not more comforting. I really hope this gets easier for you. 

[+Extesian he/him]

I've never posted about myself on this thread, and my problem is minor and temporary compared to others, but I just a tooth pulled and, rust and ruin, merciful Austre, it hurts like Braize! 

[Delightful]

15 hours ago, Oversleep said:

Not a day later I find out that they do expel me.

Which is weird since after my two semester's of dean's leave I should be entitled to a semester-without-enrollment (a "ghost" semester). I just found out that my request for one was dismissed - which is weird since I consulted that with deputy dean last semester.

I'm... I'm afraid.

I've had a lot of recent ups and downs and something I've learned is that no matter how much it feels like it, its never the end. It might be the end of a particular stage or idea, but you crash, and you take some deep breaths and check the damage, and then you rethink your options, rethink what you want and what you can do, and work out a new path from there. One option is to try stay in uni, go talk to the dean. Your other options  - I won't say you can do *anything* because that isn't true. But you definitely have other abilities and contacts and opportunities. With a friend, a mentor, by yourself, sit down and brainstorm what you can do, write down absolutely everything, go through the results, look at each option, see what can be done and what you can figure out.

And, its ok to be afraid. Terrified, in fact. To feel like the whole world is ending. *hugs* Thats also when you get to be brave and face your fears. Worst case scenario, for me at least, would be homeless and alone and hungry, and then I think ok, imagine I've hit rock bottom then what. What people do I call, who can I crash at? How can I earn some money, pay rent, who can help me? If everyone hates me, what organisation could I go to? Could I crowdfund somewhere? What about homeless shelters and food kitchens? If you're a little creative, there are always solutions.

 Just know that you're capable and resourceful and you can find your way through this. You can always shoot me a PM, we've got your back. 

9 hours ago, Extesian said:

I've never posted about myself on this thread, and my problem is minor and temporary compared to others, but I just a tooth pulled and, rust and ruin, merciful Austre, it hurts like Braize! 

Teeth *hurt*. Did you get painkillers?

Edited August 1, 2017 by Delightful

[Oversleep]

15 hours ago, Extesian said:

I've never posted about myself on this thread, and my problem is minor and temporary compared to others, but I just a tooth pulled and, rust and ruin, merciful Austre, it hurts like Braize! 

My wisdom tooth is trying to drive me insane. I feel you.

5 hours ago, Delightful said:

I've had a lot of recent ups and downs and something I've learned is that no matter how much it feels like it, its never the end. It might be the end of a particular stage or idea, but you crash, and you take some deep breaths and check the damage, and then you rethink your options, rethink what you want and what you can do, and work out a new path from there. One option is to try stay in uni, go talk to the dean. Your other options  - I won't say you can do *anything* because that isn't true. But you definitely have other abilities and contacts and opportunities. With a friend, a mentor, by yourself, sit down and brainstorm what you can do, write down absolutely everything, go through the results, look at each option, see what can be done and what you can figure out.

And, its ok to be afraid. Terrified, in fact. To feel like the whole world is ending. *hugs* Thats also when you get to be brave and face your fears. Worst case scenario, for me at least, would be homeless and alone and hungry, and then I think ok, imagine I've hit rock bottom then what. What people do I call, who can I crash at? How can I earn some money, pay rent, who can help me? If everyone hates me, what organisation could I go to? Could I crowdfund somewhere? What about homeless shelters and food kitchens? If you're a little creative, there are always solutions.

 Just know that you're capable and resourceful and you can find your way through this. You can always shoot me a PM, we've got your back. 

My fear is not being kicked out of uni itself. It would be the knowledge that I lost three years of my life - and that it's my fault for failing. It would be the shame of looking people closest to me in the eyes and admiting that I wasted last three years and it's entirely my fault.
Ultimately my greatest fear is admitting to failure. I can handle failing, I can't handle admitting it.

But right now my plan is to go ask deputy dean some stuff - first of all, he was the one who told me I could request the semester without enrollment. If that doesn't work out, then I ask him what my options are. I know it's possible to be expelled and then to restart the studies right away - actually people did that when they run out of their limit of dean's leave and all was fine - but that was before the recent reform; right now universities have too many students and they are not so laidback anymore, trying to get rid of as many people as they can.

To be honest, I thought of changing universities many times in the recent years - I've got friends in the other one, also studying IT. Mine studies is mostly a shitshow while their is less so... but I have already Invested three years of my life.

I don't really face being homeless or any of that stuff - so my situation is pretty great, I think. It's just... I passed most of the stuff I failed last year and I thought I could really make it. The winter semester would be pretty hard and unforgiving but if I did it without failing anything I would be pretty much straightened out for the last two semesters. But it seems they don't want to give me a chance. Well, we'll see about that.

[+Extesian he/him]

5 hours ago, Delightful said:

 Teeth *hurt*. Did you get painkillers?

Just the regular paracetamol kind unfortunately. I've definitely had worse. Just that deep ache you get from your body saying ' wait...waaaaaaiiit a minute... something's missi...TOOTH!! TOOTH! Put that back in immediately. What HAVE you done?!?'

Couple of days, it'll pass

[Jedal he/him]

According to a therapist my parents sent me to, I'm suppressing my emotions in order not to get hurt. I've just been doing the things I do regularly every day, not really focusing on anything. I'm doing the absolute minimum every day.

 

Divorce sucks.

[Delightful]

I need happy things. Please send me happy things. 

[+Extesian he/him]

11 minutes ago, Delightful said:

I need happy things. Please send me happy things.