Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[Delightful]

26 minutes ago, Calderis said:

Ugh. I wish I had a suggestion. I'm sorry. 

Sympathy and validation is good too <3

[A Budgie she/her]

10 hours ago, Delightful said:

Sympathy and validation is good too <3

Then in that case *hugs*

Also to Claincy,  who I cannot tag because it's not working right now.

[Delightful]

1 hour ago, A Budgie said:

Then in that case *hugs*

Also to Claincy,  who I cannot tag because it's not working right now.

*hugs*

you are a good budgie.

[Erandeni he/him]

17 hours ago, Delightful said:

Sympathy and validation is good too <3

Then I give you some hugs.

It's hot over here, like hell's hot,  more than 45 degrees, I can't sleep, I can't study or work, I almost can't breathe, and that's inside if I went outside probably I'd burst into flames.

[Kered he/him]

Airshow is happening on my base this weekend. Means I'm about to work 13 days straight, 12 hours shifts. I'm going to need a lot of red bull and panda express. 

[Claincy he/him]

10 hours ago, A Budgie said:

Then in that case *hugs*

Also to Claincy,  who I cannot tag because it's not working right now.

*hugs* ^^What Delightful said.

3 hours ago, Idealistic Mistborn said:

Then I give you some hugs.

It's hot over here, like hell's hot,  more than 45 degrees, I can't sleep, I can't study or work, I almost can't breathe, and that's inside if I went outside probably I'd burst into flames.

Extreme temps make it really really hard to do anything.

[Calderis he/him]

So everyone always says buying a house is super stressful, and up until this week, I didn't see it. They'd ask for some documentation, we'd provide it. It was simple. This all changed very rapidly this week, and it's been probably the most stress I've ever dealt with. 

Ling story short, our lender dropped the ball. We were supposed to close on the house on Wednesday, and Monday night, while providing what we thought was the last of the documents, we asked what our signing date was. Our lenders response was "oh, you close on the 12th? I need to file an extension." 

So now the sellers are angry, because they rushed to move out before closing, and seeing as we didn't know there was a delay, there was no way to inform them through our realtor. 

The only way that they would agree to the extension was for us to make our earnest money non refundable. 

So now we close on the 21st, and if our lender drops the ball again, we're out about $2500, and have to start over in a housing market that prices have literally raised $15k in the past month and a half. And interest rates are rising. 

Plus my lease here is up in September, so having the money for closing costs will be ridiculously difficult if we have to start over, because without resigning a lease, month to month rent is about 400 more than I'm paying now. 

If the lender fails again, I'm contacting a real estate lawyer, as they may have literally cost me, between what's already been spent, the increased cost in finding another house, and higher interest rates over a 30 year mortgage, 60k.

I'm depressed and angry and overwhelmed. If anything else goes wrong I feel like I'm going to have a breakdown. 

[Pattern he/him]

2 hours ago, Calderis said:

If the lender fails again, I'm contacting a real estate lawyer, as they may have literally cost me, between what's already been spent, the increased cost in finding another house, and higher interest rates over a 30 year mortgage, 60k.

I'm depressed and angry and overwhelmed. If anything else goes wrong I feel like I'm going to have a breakdown. 

Don't get depressed, try angry instead and kick chull! You can do it! And don't give up hope, perhaps all will be fine by next week.

And here are your "hugs" - perhaps go get them physically from your signifiant other.

[Sunbird she/her]

@Calderis I'm so sorry you're dealing with that crem. My advice is to keep notes about everything so that if necessary, you can prove with documentation how the lender screwed you over.

[Calderis he/him]

14 minutes ago, Sunbird said:

@Calderis I'm so sorry you're dealing with that crem. My advice is to keep notes about everything so that if necessary, you can prove with documentation how the lender screwed you over.

Notes and email records.

[Guest]

22 hours ago, Calderis said:

So everyone always says buying a house is super stressful, and up until this week, I didn't see it. They'd ask for some documentation, we'd provide it. It was simple. This all changed very rapidly this week, and it's been probably the most stress I've ever dealt with. 

Ling story short, our lender dropped the ball. We were supposed to close on the house on Wednesday, and Monday night, while providing what we thought was the last of the documents, we asked what our signing date was. Our lenders response was "oh, you close on the 12th? I need to file an extension." 

So now the sellers are angry, because they rushed to move out before closing, and seeing as we didn't know there was a delay, there was no way to inform them through our realtor. 

The only way that they would agree to the extension was for us to make our earnest money non refundable. 

So now we close on the 21st, and if our lender drops the ball again, we're out about $2500, and have to start over in a housing market that prices have literally raised $15k in the past month and a half. And interest rates are rising. 

Plus my lease here is up in September, so having the money for closing costs will be ridiculously difficult if we have to start over, because without resigning a lease, month to month rent is about 400 more than I'm paying now. 

If the lender fails again, I'm contacting a real estate lawyer, as they may have literally cost me, between what's already been spent, the increased cost in finding another house, and higher interest rates over a 30 year mortgage, 60k.

I'm depressed and angry and overwhelmed. If anything else goes wrong I feel like I'm going to have a breakdown. 

Can't you freeze your interest rate for the next months or so? Banks will usually pre-approve you and/or freeze your rate for a few months period of time, at least they do it here. It will definitely help if the rates are rising, which is true they are. Still, they remain pretty low, so you should be OK. Never look at how much interest you are paying over a 30 years period: this is too depressing and interests will always fluctuate, if not now, then in 5 years when you renew.

Sorry you lost the house. I am surprised your house market went up so drastically within a month's time period. Where are you buying?

 

[Calderis he/him]

@maxal because of the type of loan I'm getting I can't. It's fixed once I close, but floating until that point. 

I haven't lost the house yet, and I'm hoping I don't. 

And as far as I know, the Portland metropolitan area (I live in Vancouver WA, across the Columbia River from Portland OR) currently has the fastest rising rents and home prices in the US. 

[Guest]

21 hours ago, Calderis said:

@maxal because of the type of loan I'm getting I can't. It's fixed once I close, but floating until that point. 

I haven't lost the house yet, and I'm hoping I don't. 

And as far as I know, the Portland metropolitan area (I live in Vancouver WA, across the Columbia River from Portland OR) currently has the fastest rising rents and home prices in the US. 

Oh sorry to hear it, all the loans I got, I could freeze the rate up until I made the transaction.  Yeah, Portland, if it is anywhere near Vancouver's CA house market, then yeah... I get it. Good luck with your house. Funny, never heard of Vancouver WA. Had to check the map, but yeah, West Coast is trendy. 

Good luck with your house 

[Calderis he/him]

I am now stuck in traffic on my unexpected trip home from work. 

We took one of our cats to the vet yesterday because she's lost a lot of weight and has been drinking and urinating excessively. 

They did a blood test and told us it was likely feline diabetes. 

The test came back and it's kidney failure. 

I'm supposed to get my cat to the vet as fast as possible, and I'm stuck in traffic. 

[StrikerEZ he/him]

10 minutes ago, Calderis said:

I am now stuck in traffic on my unexpected trip home from work. 

We took one of our cats to the vet yesterday because she's lost a lot of weight and has been drinking and urinating excessively. 

They did a blood test and told us it was likely feline diabetes. 

The test came back and it's kidney failure. 

I'm supposed to get my cat to the vet as fast as possible, and I'm stuck in traffic. 

Awww, I'm so sorry. I hope you can get there as soon as possible! *hugs*

[Calderis he/him]

OK, so it was acute kidney failure due to a uti that had traveled up into her kidneys. So she is being kept at the vet until Friday for IV fluids and antibiotics and hopefully all will be well afterwards. 

It's apparently just something that can happen with cats. 

I still feel horrible. 

[Orlion Blight he/him]

53 minutes ago, Calderis said:

OK, so it was acute kidney failure due to a uti that had traveled up into her kidneys. So she is being kept at the vet until Friday for IV fluids and antibiotics and hopefully all will be well afterwards. 

It's apparently just something that can happen with cats. 

I still feel horrible. 

Kidney problems are very common in cats, due to their high protein diets. 

What's important is that you recognized something was wrong and took it seriously. 

As this progresses, you can ask about special food designed with these renal difficulties in mind. 

[Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her]

decided to delete post

Edited March 8, 2018 by Queen Elsa Steelheart

[Calderis he/him]

@Queen Elsa Steelheart okay, I'm not qualified to actually offer help in your situation. 

I understand having mental health problems, and abuse only compounds that. 

I know I'm not the only one here reading this though. We hear you, and we're here for you as much as we can be. 

Please take care of yourself. 

Edited July 18, 2017 by Calderis

[Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her]

Just now, Calderis said:

@Queen Elsa Steelheart okay, I'm not qualified to actually offer help in your situation. 

I understand having mental health problems, and abuse only compounds that. 

I know I'm not the only here reading this though. We here you, and we're here for you as much as we can be. 

Please take care of yourself. 

Thank you though *hugs* I'm seeing my therapist today

[Calderis he/him]

1 minute ago, Queen Elsa Steelheart said:

Thank you though *hugs* I'm seeing my therapist today

No problem. I know that sometimes even just acknowledgement is enough to help. 

Sorry that's all I can do

[Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her]

1 minute ago, Calderis said:

No problem. I know that sometimes even just acknowledgement is enough to help. 

Sorry that's all I can do

That's okay. Anything helps, don't worry. Thanks again *hugs*

[Silverblade5 he/him]

46 minutes ago, Queen Elsa Steelheart said:

I'm depressed and angry and overwhelmed. If anything else goes wrong I feel like I'm going to have another breakdown. 

 

I already had a breakdown at school. I have trials in two weeks and I'm pretty much done with anything, I've stopped giving shits about those stupid exams because studying makes me suicidal.

 

My parents don't get anything either. Today I missed the bus because I woke up late. The bed was way too warm in the cold winter air. My dad starts winding me up even though my mum tried to stop him. Then he blames me for loosing my rust. I got so angry I told him to storm himself and I gave him the middle finger as I walked out the house. He started chasing me (Last time that happened he punched me 7 times in the ribs. My ribs were almost fractured and he broke his glasses and acted like he broke his jaw.)  I know that would happen but worse, he's been physically abusive many times before. I ran to the road and stood there, inches from the cars.  My mum told me to get back there but I was 20 times faster than a idiot. I yelled back at her if she wants me to die so badly I'll throw myself onto a bus that was coming closer. She threated to take me to the hospital and acted like the entire thing was my fault. I haven't had therapy for 3 weeks because my psychologist has gone away for a month. On top of that my boyfriend is on the other side of the world until the end of August. 

My parents are also complaining I'm asking them for money too often and then they say I'm not mentally stable enough for a job. They've canceled my GAP year and say 'You're not mentally ready enough" 

Just want to jump off a balcony.

This confuses me. Wouldn't cancelling your gap year just put you in college a year earlier, and therefore out of their hands? That doesn't really fit the profile of them you've given in the past. On another note, I'm sorry to hear all this  *Hugs* If it makes you feel any better, you can pm me about your day at the end of it if you feel like it'll help unload the stress. Seriously, feel free to use me as a stress dumping ground. I should be available to talk most of the time.

[Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her]

1 minute ago, Silverblade5 said:

This confuses me. Wouldn't cancelling your gap year just put you in college a year earlier, and therefore out of their hands? That doesn't really fit the profile of them you've given in the past. On another note, I'm sorry to hear all this  *Hugs* If it makes you feel any better, you can pm me about your day at the end of it if you feel like it'll help unload the stress. Seriously, feel free to use me as a stress dumping ground. I should be available to talk most of the time.

Thank you so much. And I couldn't believe it when they said that. My mum claimed the psychiatrist said that, but I'm confirming that on Friday. The reason I'm not mentally ready is because of stupid school!

[Silverblade5 he/him]

Just now, Queen Elsa Steelheart said:

Thank you so much. And I couldn't believe it when they said that. My mum claimed the psychiatrist said that, but I'm confirming that on Friday. The reason I'm not mentally ready is because of stupid school!

Or, if you'd prefer to talk in real time, we could do that through a google doc as well. Is there anything I could do to assist with studying? I'm good with math and science if you want help.

Edited July 19, 2017 by Silverblade5