Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

1 minute ago, Edema Rue said:

:3

Thank you, Thaid. There is beauty. I can believe that, even if I don't see it right now. 

its hard, but we are alive and kicking, and ill take that.

[Throw TheLiving Silverware he/him/il/lui]

warning: long and completely insane rant incoming

Spoiler

So basically I have been addicted to video games (or rather a specific game) for like a year now and it's been completely ruining my life bc i'm a student and instead of doing the work i had to, well i was just playing, sometimes all day long (i do mean that, there has been days i just got out of bed, ate my breakfast, started playing and just kept on until bedtime, pausing olny for lunch and dinner)

it's a miracle i validated last semester honestly the main reason is that most of my grades were group projects where i pulled... lets say far less than my weight

some of you might remember how i basically disappeared from the shard overnight last year, well that was when the addiction ramped up significantly

i've tried all parental control softwares existing out there to try limiting myself but that kind of things is useless when you have the password to give yourself just another hour time and time again

and now it's really starting to crush me i have tons of work to finish in the next days/weeks 

and guess what i have been doing yesterday all day long instead of doing that work

i just kept repeating myself "you'll have time to do all of that later" WELL NOT ANYMORE YOU MORON

i just uninstalled for like the fifth time in two months, i set up several of those parental control things so that they block me from reinstalling steam and then they block each other, but i know one day or another i'll find a way around like all the previous times "come on just an hour each day, this time you'll be able to limit yourself" and then i start playing and never stop

and now all the work i have to do, the exams coming soon, the project to finish tomorrow, the mooc to complete today, the internship i should have found like yesterday but i haven't even started searching... it just feels like a mountain except it's entirely my fault it's like this

 

i havent been doing anything with my life for so long now and it's driving me crazy

 

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

3 hours ago, Just a Silvereye said:

warning: long and completely insane rant incoming

  Hide contents

So basically I have been addicted to video games (or rather a specific game) for like a year now and it's been completely ruining my life bc i'm a student and instead of doing the work i had to, well i was just playing, sometimes all day long (i do mean that, there has been days i just got out of bed, ate my breakfast, started playing and just kept on until bedtime, pausing olny for lunch and dinner)

it's a miracle i validated last semester honestly the main reason is that most of my grades were group projects where i pulled... lets say far less than my weight

some of you might remember how i basically disappeared from the shard overnight last year, well that was when the addiction ramped up significantly

i've tried all parental control softwares existing out there to try limiting myself but that kind of things is useless when you have the password to give yourself just another hour time and time again

and now it's really starting to crush me i have tons of work to finish in the next days/weeks 

and guess what i have been doing yesterday all day long instead of doing that work

i just kept repeating myself "you'll have time to do all of that later" WELL NOT ANYMORE YOU MORON

i just uninstalled for like the fifth time in two months, i set up several of those parental control things so that they block me from reinstalling steam and then they block each other, but i know one day or another i'll find a way around like all the previous times "come on just an hour each day, this time you'll be able to limit yourself" and then i start playing and never stop

and now all the work i have to do, the exams coming soon, the project to finish tomorrow, the mooc to complete today, the internship i should have found like yesterday but i haven't even started searching... it just feels like a mountain except it's entirely my fault it's like this

 

i havent been doing anything with my life for so long now and it's driving me crazy

 

* gives many massive hugs *

[Edema Rue she/her]

5 hours ago, Just a Silvereye said:

warning: long and completely insane rant incoming

  Reveal hidden contents

So basically I have been addicted to video games (or rather a specific game) for like a year now and it's been completely ruining my life bc i'm a student and instead of doing the work i had to, well i was just playing, sometimes all day long (i do mean that, there has been days i just got out of bed, ate my breakfast, started playing and just kept on until bedtime, pausing olny for lunch and dinner)

it's a miracle i validated last semester honestly the main reason is that most of my grades were group projects where i pulled... lets say far less than my weight

some of you might remember how i basically disappeared from the shard overnight last year, well that was when the addiction ramped up significantly

i've tried all parental control softwares existing out there to try limiting myself but that kind of things is useless when you have the password to give yourself just another hour time and time again

and now it's really starting to crush me i have tons of work to finish in the next days/weeks 

and guess what i have been doing yesterday all day long instead of doing that work

i just kept repeating myself "you'll have time to do all of that later" WELL NOT ANYMORE YOU MORON

i just uninstalled for like the fifth time in two months, i set up several of those parental control things so that they block me from reinstalling steam and then they block each other, but i know one day or another i'll find a way around like all the previous times "come on just an hour each day, this time you'll be able to limit yourself" and then i start playing and never stop

and now all the work i have to do, the exams coming soon, the project to finish tomorrow, the mooc to complete today, the internship i should have found like yesterday but i haven't even started searching... it just feels like a mountain except it's entirely my fault it's like this

 

i havent been doing anything with my life for so long now and it's driving me crazy

 

*also gives hugs*

[Canada Lover]

On 9/28/2023 at 10:48 AM, [Redacted] said:

Sure!

I'll be your shardbuddy too, both of you. (Whatever that even means).

@[Redacted] @Edema Rue

[-Redacted- he/him]

35 minutes ago, Canada Lover said:

I'll be your shardbuddy too, both of you. (Whatever that even means).

@[Redacted] @Edema Rue

Yessssssss

[Throw TheLiving Silverware he/him/il/lui]

5 hours ago, The Wandering Wizard said:

* gives many massive hugs *

 

3 hours ago, Edema Rue said:

*also gives hugs*

Thanks to both of you, you have no idea how much it means to me. Really.

Also, I have managed to somewhat catch up on some of the work I had! Turns out when instead of not doing things while stressing about not doing them, you actually do them... well they look not as daunting as before! 

Next days/weeks are certainly going to be rough, but if I can keep the steam going (never been my strong suit...), I should get out of it.

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

7 minutes ago, Just a Silvereye said:

 

Thanks to both of you, you have no idea how much it means to me. Really.

Also, I have managed to somewhat catch up on some of the work I had! Turns out when instead of not doing things while stressing about not doing them, you actually do them... well they look not as daunting as before! 

Next days/weeks are certainly going to be rough, but if I can keep the steam going (never been my strong suit...), I should get out of it.

I feel you. just keep moving. 

[Edema Rue she/her]

1 hour ago, Canada Lover said:

I'll be your shardbuddy too, both of you. (Whatever that even means).

@[Redacted] @Edema Rue

Otay!! Hehe I might need to move mine to my about me at some point…

16 minutes ago, Just a Silvereye said:

 

Thanks to both of you, you have no idea how much it means to me. Really.

Also, I have managed to somewhat catch up on some of the work I had! Turns out when instead of not doing things while stressing about not doing them, you actually do them... well they look not as daunting as before! 

Next days/weeks are certainly going to be rough, but if I can keep the steam going (never been my strong suit...), I should get out of it.

Keep breathing, keep pushing. It won’t be easy, but you can do it. We’re here to listen or talk or just be a distraction if you ever need it.

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

20 hours ago, Just a Silvereye said:

 

Thanks to both of you, you have no idea how much it means to me. Really.

Also, I have managed to somewhat catch up on some of the work I had! Turns out when instead of not doing things while stressing about not doing them, you actually do them... well they look not as daunting as before! 

Next days/weeks are certainly going to be rough, but if I can keep the steam going (never been my strong suit...), I should get out of it.

hey, if you ever need someone to tell you to chill out, im here. 

[Wittles he/him]

On 11/19/2023 at 2:22 AM, Just a Silvereye said:

warning: long and completely insane rant incoming

  Reveal hidden contents

So basically I have been addicted to video games (or rather a specific game) for like a year now and it's been completely ruining my life bc i'm a student and instead of doing the work i had to, well i was just playing, sometimes all day long (i do mean that, there has been days i just got out of bed, ate my breakfast, started playing and just kept on until bedtime, pausing olny for lunch and dinner)

it's a miracle i validated last semester honestly the main reason is that most of my grades were group projects where i pulled... lets say far less than my weight

some of you might remember how i basically disappeared from the shard overnight last year, well that was when the addiction ramped up significantly

i've tried all parental control softwares existing out there to try limiting myself but that kind of things is useless when you have the password to give yourself just another hour time and time again

and now it's really starting to crush me i have tons of work to finish in the next days/weeks 

and guess what i have been doing yesterday all day long instead of doing that work

i just kept repeating myself "you'll have time to do all of that later" WELL NOT ANYMORE YOU MORON

i just uninstalled for like the fifth time in two months, i set up several of those parental control things so that they block me from reinstalling steam and then they block each other, but i know one day or another i'll find a way around like all the previous times "come on just an hour each day, this time you'll be able to limit yourself" and then i start playing and never stop

and now all the work i have to do, the exams coming soon, the project to finish tomorrow, the mooc to complete today, the internship i should have found like yesterday but i haven't even started searching... it just feels like a mountain except it's entirely my fault it's like this

 

i havent been doing anything with my life for so long now and it's driving me crazy

 

First of all, not completely insane. At best only a smidge insane. Second of all, it might be a problem, but the first step to fixing that problem is acknowledging that there is one, which can honestly be really hard, so you're already doing good. Just try to take it one day at a time. Try to go just one or two days less every week, or month and you'll have it under control. You've totally got this. *hugs*

[Throw TheLiving Silverware he/him/il/lui]

1 hour ago, Wittles of Shinovar said:

First of all, not completely insane. At best only a smidge insane. Second of all, it might be a problem, but the first step to fixing that problem is acknowledging that there is one, which can honestly be really hard, so you're already doing good. Just try to take it one day at a time. Try to go just one or two days less every week, or month and you'll have it under control. You've totally got this. *hugs*

Thanks a lot for the support. But I already tried moderation, and it went... more than poorly. I just can't moderate my usage, it's 6-12 hours a day or nothing for me.

And honestly, I'm starting to realize that the problem is running much deeper than video games. I haven't played in what, four days now? And right after stopping, I had a big burst of energy/motivation. But now it's been two days since I actually did anything. I just found other ways to kill time. I'm blocking YT and other stuff right now, but I fear it won't be enough. I'll probably latch on another pastime before the week is over.

I think what I was taking for a mostly external issue (video games) is actually more of an internal problem: I can't find motivation to do my work consistently. I do get some outbursts here and there, but it's still nowhere near as much as I need to stay afloat. I'm afraid I'm just stuck in a loop of finding something to spend all my time on to avoid doing work -> deleting access to that thing to try to work -> finding something else to spend time and still not work.

I know what I should do: force myself somehow to pull myself every morning and do my ******* ****** ******* work 

but I just don't know how

and meanwhile i feel myself falling back again i'm letting my teammates down again i still havent tried to find an internship im still terribly unprepared for the exams which are now dangerously close

 

Anyway, that was just me rambling about the current trainwreck that is my life. Sorry about that.

I might soon get suddenly very active for 2-3 days, then outright disappear. It will just mean that the Shard will have become the latest victim of the cycle described above. If it happens, don't expect to see me for some time.

Good night. Or whatever time of the day it is in your timezone.

[Wittles he/him]

4 minutes ago, Just a Silvereye said:

Thanks a lot for the support. But I already tried moderation, and it went... more than poorly. I just can't moderate my usage, it's 6-12 hours a day or nothing for me.

And honestly, I'm starting to realize that the problem is running much deeper than video games. I haven't played in what, four days now? And right after stopping, I had a big burst of energy/motivation. But now it's been two days since I actually did anything. I just found other ways to kill time. I'm blocking YT and other stuff right now, but I fear it won't be enough. I'll probably latch on another pastime before the week is over.

I think what I was taking for a mostly external issue (video games) is actually more of an internal problem: I can't find motivation to do my work consistently. I do get some outbursts here and there, but it's still nowhere near as much as I need to stay afloat. I'm afraid I'm just stuck in a loop of finding something to spend all my time on to avoid doing work -> deleting access to that thing to try to work -> finding something else to spend time and still not work.

I know what I should do: force myself somehow to pull myself every morning and do my ******* ****** ******* work 

but I just don't know how

and meanwhile i feel myself falling back again i'm letting my teammates down again i still havent tried to find an internship im still terribly unprepared for the exams which are now dangerously close

 

Anyway, that was just me rambling about the current trainwreck that is my life. Sorry about that.

I might soon get suddenly very active for 2-3 days, then outright disappear. It will just mean that the Shard will have become the latest victim of the cycle described above. If it happens, don't expect to see me for some time.

Good night. Or whatever time of the day it is in your timezone.

I'm sorry for just telling you to do what you've been trying to do. That's never helpful. 

*hugs* 

[Throw TheLiving Silverware he/him/il/lui]

3 minutes ago, Wittles of Shinovar said:

I'm sorry for just telling you to do what you've been trying to do. That's never helpful. 

*hugs* 

Don't worry. Giving people support is never the wrong thing to do. 

Thanks a lot for all the hugs 

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

4 hours ago, Just a Silvereye said:

Thanks a lot for the support. But I already tried moderation, and it went... more than poorly. I just can't moderate my usage, it's 6-12 hours a day or nothing for me.

And honestly, I'm starting to realize that the problem is running much deeper than video games. I haven't played in what, four days now? And right after stopping, I had a big burst of energy/motivation. But now it's been two days since I actually did anything. I just found other ways to kill time. I'm blocking YT and other stuff right now, but I fear it won't be enough. I'll probably latch on another pastime before the week is over.

I think what I was taking for a mostly external issue (video games) is actually more of an internal problem: I can't find motivation to do my work consistently. I do get some outbursts here and there, but it's still nowhere near as much as I need to stay afloat. I'm afraid I'm just stuck in a loop of finding something to spend all my time on to avoid doing work -> deleting access to that thing to try to work -> finding something else to spend time and still not work.

I know what I should do: force myself somehow to pull myself every morning and do my ******* ****** ******* work 

but I just don't know how

and meanwhile i feel myself falling back again i'm letting my teammates down again i still havent tried to find an internship im still terribly unprepared for the exams which are now dangerously close

 

Anyway, that was just me rambling about the current trainwreck that is my life. Sorry about that.

I might soon get suddenly very active for 2-3 days, then outright disappear. It will just mean that the Shard will have become the latest victim of the cycle described above. If it happens, don't expect to see me for some time.

Good night. Or whatever time of the day it is in your timezone.

talk with your parents. go to therapy. get meds if you think itll help. anything, even if its doing a check-in at some point, is helpful. i kinda have the same problem, but if you need, i can be the check in person. and maybe you could do the same for me? idk, just some thoughts.

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

I could use some hugs right now.

[Cash67]

1 minute ago, Lightweaver2 said:

I could use some hugs right now.

*offers hug*

*offers dice*

*sets up DM screen*

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

6 minutes ago, Cash67 said:

*offers hug*

*offers dice*

*sets up DM screen*

*accepts hugs*
*accepts dice, adding a set of my own as well*
*pulls out character sheet*
 

Thanks

 

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

23 minutes ago, Lightweaver2 said:

I could use some hugs right now.

*gives many hugs*

We're always here for you, always and I really mean it and hope you can feel it  

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

2 hours ago, The Wandering Wizard said:

*gives many hugs*

We're always here for you, always and I really mean it and hope you can feel it  

Thank you, and I know you are all here for me, I really appreciate it.

[The Honorable Musician he/him]

*sighs*

I have tons of homework. I have, like, three projects all due on the 30th, then another one due the 6th.

One of those projects is my science fair project, and I (stupidly) decided to do something that takes so long. What I'm doing is: "What Large Language Model (basically AI like Chat-GPT) gets the best score on a practice PSAT?" I had to translate 120 questions so that the LLMs could understand what it was supposed to do (took about two hours), then I had to plug them all in to 3 LLMs. One of them took literally a full minute to process each question, then another 30 seconds to spit a complete answer, which was wrong most of the time anyway. Plugging them in and recording the answers took literally 12+ hours on Saturday. And I'm still not finished.

I also have to write a Literature Review for a Research Paper I'm writing, and that takes a while.

I also have to find 45 visual sources (photos, videos) for the aforementioned Research Project.

And I also have to create an Annotated Bibliography for my Research Project.

I also have a band field trip on the 30th, the day that most of these are due. Also, I have an upcoming concert, and I play 1st trumpet in the top band, and 2nd in jazz band.

Anyways, sorry for the rant. You probably didn't need to hear the details of my school work. What I'm saying is that I am just super stressed out right now.

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

14 minutes ago, Ookla the Wayfarer said:

*sighs*

I have tons of homework. I have, like, three projects all due on the 30th, then another one due the 6th.

One of those projects is my science fair project, and I (stupidly) decided to do something that takes so long. What I'm doing is: "What Large Language Model (basically AI like Chat-GPT) gets the best score on a practice PSAT?" I had to translate 120 questions so that the LLMs could understand what it was supposed to do (took about two hours), then I had to plug them all in to 3 LLMs. One of them took literally a full minute to process each question, then another 30 seconds to spit a complete answer, which was wrong most of the time anyway. Plugging them in and recording the answers took literally 12+ hours on Saturday. And I'm still not finished.

I also have to write a Literature Review for a Research Paper I'm writing, and that takes a while.

I also have to find 45 visual sources (photos, videos) for the aforementioned Research Project.

And I also have to create an Annotated Bibliography for my Research Project.

I also have a band field trip on the 30th, the day that most of these are due. Also, I have an upcoming concert, and I play 1st trumpet in the top band, and 2nd in jazz band.

Anyways, sorry for the rant. You probably didn't need to hear the details of my school work. What I'm saying is that I am just super stressed out right now.

whoah- the research project sounds cool.

[solarcat she/her]

23 minutes ago, Ookla the Wayfarer said:

*sighs*

I have tons of homework. I have, like, three projects all due on the 30th, then another one due the 6th.

One of those projects is my science fair project, and I (stupidly) decided to do something that takes so long. What I'm doing is: "What Large Language Model (basically AI like Chat-GPT) gets the best score on a practice PSAT?" I had to translate 120 questions so that the LLMs could understand what it was supposed to do (took about two hours), then I had to plug them all in to 3 LLMs. One of them took literally a full minute to process each question, then another 30 seconds to spit a complete answer, which was wrong most of the time anyway. Plugging them in and recording the answers took literally 12+ hours on Saturday. And I'm still not finished.

I also have to write a Literature Review for a Research Paper I'm writing, and that takes a while.

I also have to find 45 visual sources (photos, videos) for the aforementioned Research Project.

And I also have to create an Annotated Bibliography for my Research Project.

I also have a band field trip on the 30th, the day that most of these are due. Also, I have an upcoming concert, and I play 1st trumpet in the top band, and 2nd in jazz band.

Anyways, sorry for the rant. You probably didn't need to hear the details of my school work. What I'm saying is that I am just super stressed out right now.

Yeah, that research project sounds cool

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

18 minutes ago, Ookla the Wayfarer said:

*sighs*

I have tons of homework. I have, like, three projects all due on the 30th, then another one due the 6th.

One of those projects is my science fair project, and I (stupidly) decided to do something that takes so long. What I'm doing is: "What Large Language Model (basically AI like Chat-GPT) gets the best score on a practice PSAT?" I had to translate 120 questions so that the LLMs could understand what it was supposed to do (took about two hours), then I had to plug them all in to 3 LLMs. One of them took literally a full minute to process each question, then another 30 seconds to spit a complete answer, which was wrong most of the time anyway. Plugging them in and recording the answers took literally 12+ hours on Saturday. And I'm still not finished.

I also have to write a Literature Review for a Research Paper I'm writing, and that takes a while.

I also have to find 45 visual sources (photos, videos) for the aforementioned Research Project.

And I also have to create an Annotated Bibliography for my Research Project.

I also have a band field trip on the 30th, the day that most of these are due. Also, I have an upcoming concert, and I play 1st trumpet in the top band, and 2nd in jazz band.

Anyways, sorry for the rant. You probably didn't need to hear the details of my school work. What I'm saying is that I am just super stressed out right now.

*hugs*

Don’t give up, you can do this.

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

*sighs*

Spoiler

im trembling. english was... not good. teacher got pretty mad, people were being mean to the teacher, being disrepectful, and it was loud. oh god- it was terrible. 

update:

Spoiler

Im too tired right now. I hate living right now. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh im dealing with life, but just barely.

 

Edited November 28, 2023 by Ookla of Ravens