Zathoth Posted January 15, 2016 Author Posted January 15, 2016 Options:1. Solve it2. Dont solve it 3. Solve it in ways that include a Satanic Metal band playing in your backyard 4. Make it worse 5. Make it worse in a way that involves clowns 6. Solve it in a way that includes a Rube Goldberg machine 7. Just set a trap for your mom and laugh when she walks into it.
Orlion Blight he/him Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 I prefer the overly dramatic approach. "Are you regretting not having that abortion, MOM?!" "Wha- I never..." "I didn't ask to be born, mom! You made me this way! YOU MADE ME THIS WAY!" "Honey..." "I wanted to be a teapot. A teapot, mother! Short AND stout! Well, you ruined my dreams...so now I will ruin yours!" At that point you upload a blog entry with all sorts of spelling errors to her blog detailing her conversion to Islam.
Silverblade5 he/him Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 I am a Aspie, and I could punch your mother in the face right now. Same. It's things like this that make me want to literally kick people out sometimes. Besides, IMO, being an aspie is actually an improvement.
Mistrunner Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 (edited) It bugs me when people say that stuff like Autism and ADHD are things to be cured. Yes, they can cause problems, but they aren't a problem. I was going to go on, but instead of me, I'll let Jacob Barnett talk some. He's autistic, was told he'd never speak, and made groundbreaking advances in astrophysics at ten years old. Best. TED Talk. Ever. Edited January 15, 2016 by Mistrunner 3
Young Bard he/him Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 Yeah... I have a new theory. Twi's mother and mine are in reality the same interdimensional demonic demons, created to terrorize the lives of sane and reasonable people in an attempt to bring them down into madness. My mother has said almost the exact same thing to me. To be fair, my dad worked as a nurse in the 1980's. Apparently, a few of the cheaper, dodgier vaccines then had a couple shady ingredients that made people sick. But to have that influence your decision 20 years later... It's a bit like saying: I'm never getting in a car. Car's have crashed in the past. I'm never going outside. People have been struck by lightning when they've gone outside. I'm never staying inside. Ceilings have collapsed and killed people when they stay inside. My parents (mainly my mother) and I have had consistent arguments about this over the years. GM crops too, they always seem to find a way to work it in there as well. Because clearly any form of human progress is likely to cause the end of the whole bloody human race. My emotions right now:
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 Yeah... I have a new theory. Twi's mother and mine are in reality the same interdimensional demonic demons, created to terrorize the lives of sane and reasonable people in an attempt to bring them down into madness. My mother has said almost the exact same thing to me. To be fair, my dad worked as a nurse in the 1980's. Apparently, a few of the cheaper, dodgier vaccines then had a couple shady ingredients that made people sick. But to have that influence your decision 20 years later... It's a bit like saying: I'm never getting in a car. Car's have crashed in the past. I'm never going outside. People have been struck by lightning when they've gone outside. I'm never staying inside. Ceilings have collapsed and killed people when they stay inside. My parents (mainly my mother) and I have had consistent arguments about this over the years. GM crops too, they always seem to find a way to work it in there as well. Because clearly any form of human progress is likely to cause the end of the whole bloody human race. My emotions right now: Do….do your parents launch into long, disgusted tirades whenever someone on the news says something they disagree with? Do they talk about how this fad or that fad is "contributing to the degradation of Western society"? If so…we might be long-lost siblings.
Silverblade5 he/him Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 Do….do your parents launch into long, disgusted tirades whenever someone on the news says something they disagree with? Do they talk about how this fad or that fad is "contributing to the degradation of Western society"? If so…we might be long-lost siblings. You mean like how men are no longer being men?
Kobold King he/him Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 You mean like how men are no longer being men? "In my day, men were men and women were women! We're going to breeze right by the fact that if the current trend is a problem, then surely my generation is somewhat culpable for not rearing you youngsters right. No, the problem is you Millennials. Nothing else in society was ever wrong before you gosh-darned Millennials."
Kaymyth she/her Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 "...back in the days when men were real men, women were real women, and small furry animals from Alpha Centauri were real small furry animals from Alpha Centauri!" 1
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 You mean like how men are no longer being men? Ugh, don't even get me started. "I think that men should look like men and women should look like women." So, no long hair on men or short hair on women because it's not like men and women have ever both had long hair. "In my day, men were men and women were women! We're going to breeze right by the fact that if the current trend is a problem, then surely my generation is somewhat culpable for not rearing you youngsters right. No, the problem is you Millennials. Nothing else in society was ever wrong before you gosh-darned Millennials." There's a segment on The O'Reilly Factor called "Watters' World," where a guy named Watters goes out into random locations and asks passersby questions about, say, American history. He'll ask really obvious questions, like "Who was president during the Civil War?" and get really dumb responses like "Uh….Taft?" Thing is, Watters has outright admitted he seeks out the dumbest-looking or dumbest-acting people, and that he sifts through a mountain of footage to find the dumbest responses. And yet every time yet another person gives yet another stupid answer, my mom whines about how "your generation is so overprivileged and undereducated." "...back in the days when men were real men, women were real women, and small furry animals from Alpha Centauri were real small furry animals from Alpha Centauri!" Noooooo don't give her standards for small furry star critters! then she'll force them on everyone! D:
Kobold King he/him Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 Noooooo don't give her standards for small furry star critters! then she'll force them on everyone! D: "We should be extra nice to the furry creatures of Alpha Centauri. That way we can bring up how nice we were to them now in a few hundred years when they're advanced enough to build stuff for us." --Twi's mom, a few decades in the future.
Orlion Blight he/him Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 Ugh, don't even get me started. "I think that men should look like men and women should look like women." So, no long hair on men or short hair on women because it's not like men and women have ever both had long hair. There's a segment on The O'Reilly Factor called "Watters' World," where a guy named Watters goes out into random locations and asks passersby questions about, say, American history. He'll ask really obvious questions, like "Who was president during the Civil War?" and get really dumb responses like "Uh….Taft?" Thing is, Watters has outright admitted he seeks out the dumbest-looking or dumbest-acting people, and that he sifts through a mountain of footage to find the dumbest responses. And yet every time yet another person gives yet another stupid answer, my mom whines about how "your generation is so overprivileged and undereducated." Noooooo don't give her standards for small furry star critters! then she'll force them on everyone! D: I hate the Watter's World segment. It's just an excuse for a smug clown to show everyone how much more clever he is than anyone else.
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 "We should be extra nice to the furry creatures of Alpha Centauri. That way we can bring up how nice we were to them now in a few hundred years when they're advanced enough to build stuff for us." --Twi's mom, a few decades in the future. It's like you're reading her mind. I hate the Watter's World segment. It's just an excuse for a smug clown to show everyone how much more clever he is than anyone else. There's not a lot about The O'Reilly Factor I really enjoy, but Watters' World is among the worst. I wanted to punch him when he went to a Star Trek convention. Seriously, these people are having fun. Just leave them be.
Young Bard he/him Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 Do….do your parents launch into long, disgusted tirades whenever someone on the news says something they disagree with? Do they talk about how this fad or that fad is "contributing to the degradation of Western society"? If so…we might be long-lost siblings. 1. Yes! 2. Not with those exact words, but sort of...
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 Ahhhh, Saturdays! When I get paid to spend nine consecutive hours away from Mother Dearest—ten, if you count commute time.
Stormgate he/him Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 I hope customers are only moderately annoying!
Zathoth Posted January 16, 2016 Author Posted January 16, 2016 One of my old bullies is supposedly dating one of my neighbors, Im not going to turn this into a bad slasher film, but I really want to. 1 2 Zathoth comes for you... I really want to write, but I am not sure what to write about... one the other hand I have a cat and Summer Knight is really good. No I am not going to write about going slasher film on him. Last time someone did a revenge fic on getting revenge on their bullies we ended up with Jeff the killer. That and Ive never been a big fan of slasher films. Yes Nightmare on Elm Street is hilarious, but still, not a fan.
Kestrel she/her Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 I have made some mistakes but arguably my worst one was trying to contour my face with eyeshadow this morning.
Stormgate he/him Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 (edited) My mother couldn't find her eyeliner yesterday, and there was a Sharpie in her makeup drawer. Nobody noticed the difference. Edit: eyeliner, not mascara. As a guy, I don't know my way around the makeup aisle of the store at all. Edited January 16, 2016 by Stormgate
Kestrel she/her Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 You can use koolaid as blush, appearently.
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 (edited) You can use koolaid as blush, appearently. Best flavors? Edited January 16, 2016 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles
Kestrel she/her Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 Red, I guess. I'm not going to try it, because I feel like it'll be sticky. Ick. You can also melt down crayons for lipstick. The only thing you can't do is oreo eyeshadow, which I've seen before. The sugar attracts bacteria right to your eyes and that's a big no. (The reason why koolaid is fine is because its not right on your eye)
Kobold King he/him Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 Red, I guess. I'm not going to try it, because I feel like it'll be sticky. Ick. You can also melt down crayons for lipstick. The only thing you can't do is oreo eyeshadow, which I've seen before. The sugar attracts bacteria right to your eyes and that's a big no. (The reason why koolaid is fine is because its not right on your eye) You can get sugar-free koolaid, right? That's what we get.
Kestrel she/her Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 I think so, but it'll still be sticky on your cheeks.
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