Dumb Sanderson Jokes

[Assassin in Burgundy he/him]

Oooooh I got a joke 

David Charleston made a good metaphor

[KnightRadiant she/her]

What do you get if Shallan marries Adolin?

A semi-Kholin.

Edited December 5, 2016 by KnightRadiant
autocorrect.

[Windrunner19]

On 9/20/2015 at 8:28 PM, Zathoth said:

Pick up lines:

Are you a brass compunder? Because you are hot.

Are you tapping chromium? Because you are lucky to meet me.

Do you want to see passion spren?

Are you rioting my attraction?

 

Q: What is the difference between a chasm fiend and Sadeas?

A: One is an evil, murderous insect, the other one is Sadeas.

No, you have to say, "One is an evil, murderous insect, and the other is a chasm fiend."

[Borio Singaldi he/him]

On 10/24/2016 at 7:07 PM, Figberts said:

Q: Where in the Cosmere do you go to hear good music? 

A: Scadrial, because Preservation and Ruin make great Harmony.

Are you sure about that? Last I checked, all they knew how to play was skaa music.

[Alfa he/him]

2 hours ago, Firerust said:

Are you sure about that? Last I checked, all they knew how to play was skaa music.

Well, I heard especially Augurs were good at Heavy Metal. 

[Elenion he/him]

18 hours ago, Firerust said:

Are you sure about that? Last I checked, all they knew how to play was skaa music.

*groans* That was both the best and worst pun I've seen all day.

[+ILuvHats he/him]

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Wayne.

Wayne who?

Wayne you're stuck in the middle of a god-forsaken frozen wasteland, trying to outrun an evil organization trying to obtain a fabled artifact granting incredible powers, and all you can think about is where you're hat blew off to.

[Dragon314 he/him]

Why did Shallan stop the wagons?

She was out of Gaz

[Steeldancer he/him]

Why did Kaladin have to stop jumping? 

Because he sprent his ankle

[Just another guyn he/him]

WoB: what does a radiant wear to a party? A vest. He loves to be invested.

why can't Wayne wield the bands of mourning? He sleeps in.

whats dalinar's favorite joke? Elohkar.

how do you ruin a good joke? Take his wit away. Then the king is witless.

What do you call what do you call a sanderson fan's sanity? Dead.

 

Edited May 19, 2017 by Just another guyn

[Reborn radiant]

On 28/10/2015 at 1:23 AM, thegatorgirl00 said:

On 21/9/2015 at 5:58 AM, Morzathoth said:

Pick up lines:

Are you a brass compunder? Because you are hot.

Are you tapping chromium? Because you are lucky to meet me.

Do you want to see passion spren?

Are you rioting my attraction?

 

You must be a strong Rithmatic line because your shape is perfect.

Are you stormlight? Because you make my heart race.

Are you burning iron? Because you pull me right to you.

You are more precious to me than atium was to kelsier.

When you left me, the heartbreak was enough to make me an allomancer.

Are you a returned and am I your sacrifice? because you take my breath away.

My love to you only waxes, never wanes.

Is you heart metal? Cuz no matter how hard I try, I can't awaken it to like me.

 

 

[Reborn radiant]

What is a korathi's favorite pizza joint?
DOMInos.

which cosmere god knows where you ate your pizza?
DOMINOS. (Domi knows)

what part of domi would a cannibalistic god find the most tasty?
domiNOS (Domi's nose)

[Brightness Enna she/her]

18 hours ago, Reborn radiant said:

What is a korathi's favorite pizza joint?
DOMInos.

which cosmere god knows where you ate your pizza?
DOMINOS. (Domi knows)

what part of domi would a cannibalistic god find the most tasty?
domiNOS (Domi's nose)

You got mileage out of that one 

[+Extesian he/him]

19 hours ago, Reborn radiant said:

What is a korathi's favorite pizza joint?
DOMInos.

which cosmere god knows where you ate your pizza?
DOMINOS. (Domi knows)

what part of domi would a cannibalistic god find the most tasty?
domiNOS (Domi's nose)

Delivered right to your Dor

[StrikerEZ he/him]

If you want your room to look nice, you've got to have the right Dahkor.

Edited May 26, 2017 by StrikerEZ

[Borio Singaldi he/him]

Okay, this one's just awful, but here goes:

 

What is Waxillium Ladrian's least favorite Egyptian God?

Set.

[Reborn radiant]

On 26/5/2017 at 7:01 AM, Brightness Enna said:

You got mileage out of that one 

okay now this gives me another idea.

When miles hundredlives achieves a goal, you could say he reached a MILEstone
Why is miles very productive? Cuz his MILEage is very good.
What is best exercise for miles? Miles running miles to work on mills, setting a new milestone every day, increasing his mileage with a sMILE on his face :')

(PS: Even I can see this is dumb, but hell this is the only place I can post this )

[Khyrindor he/him]

You remember this:

On 10/17/2015 at 3:04 PM, Rider of Storms said:

Hey, did you see Vasher?

 

Who Zahel you talking about?

 

Now get ready for the sequel! Now with Oathbringer spoilers!

Spoiler

"Hey, did you hear that Vivenna was in Oathbringer?"

 

"Oh really? Are y'azure?" (Are you sure)

 

I'll go slam the car door on my finger now!

1

 

[Flying she/her]

Q: Why did the cover on the mass market paperback copy of Hero of Ages look so torn up?

A: Because it was ruined. 

(Seriously, those mass market paperbacks get destroyed. I keep having to buy the same books in hardcover just so they look better on my bookshelf) 

[Podman]

Nale was falling around when he noticed a small figure nearby. 

“Oh, hi spren!”

[Brightness Enna she/her]

Credit to my friend who is, as of yet, not a member of 17th shard. WoR spoiler.

"One day I might tell a joke so bad storms might go the wrong way. Puns are everlasting."

[Roseplate]

On 9/21/2015 at 0:28 AM, Zathoth said:

Pick up lines:

Are you a brass compunder? Because you are hot.

Are you tapping chromium? Because you are lucky to meet me.

Do you want to see passion spren?

Are you rioting my attraction?

 

Q: What is the difference between a chasm fiend and Sadeas?

A: One is an evil, murderous insect, the other one is Sadeas.

also a compliment:

you're as beautiful as a clearmark and as precious as an emerald broam

[Shard of Reading he/him]

Grandpa shin man:
I am the toothless of Shinovar!