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Posted

Ah, so THAT'S how Kobold King was created.

 

How would he know what "witty" means? If he were just an Awakened keyboard, then he would be saying "Would you like to say something witty today?" and he wouldn't be able to read Brandon's books independently. Or tell how long ago they were released. 

 

 

Awaken a textbook to "Be The Way of Kings"

 

 

Wait... How is that useless? It would make history class more interesting...

Posted

So apparently Kobold is evil now according to those italicees...

Kobold! I challenge thee to a duel, to win HIM his honor back! Sarcasm at ten paces, Tommorow at dawn! Unless I procrastinate.

Return a slice of Cheese.... Oh Woops that's me.

Awaken the dishes with the command "wash" and then wash them yourselves becuase they aren't doing it right

Posted

Get a bunch of cats and a wagon for them to pull, then store weight until you are light enough for them to pull with ease. Now, the cats might not be willing to pull you, but you could easily get around this by some rioting and soothing. Have them pull you around town while you stamp people's phones to be at 0% battery.

 

Useless but totally awesome.

I like this very much...have an upvote

Posted

Sever your finger and then attempt to awaken it to "Draw Aon Daa". After that, run very quickly away.

 

Awaken a plod, then try to Hemalurgically grant it sentience. Next, go cry forever because you are an awful person.

 

A (possibly) useful one: Awaken a dead Koloss as a plod.

 

Spike yourself with several Allomantic duralumin spikes, assuming you aren't actually a Misting/Mistborn. Bonus points if half the spikes are instead Allomantic aluminum.

Posted

Make spikes from Mistborn, stealing their ability to burn Aluminium or Duralumin, as you wish. Use said spikes to construct a fence, containing parts of real human souls. Have it surround a mansion. Use the mansion as a place to hold Halloween parties.

...

Ok, that was pretty dark.

Posted

Make spikes from Mistborn, stealing their ability to burn Aluminium or Duralumin, as you wish. Use said spikes to construct a fence, containing parts of real human souls. Have it surround a mansion. Use the mansion as a place to hold Halloween parties.

...

Ok, that was pretty dark.

 

"People to Avoid while Trick-or-Treating."

Posted

Awaken a mannequin with the command: steal yo besties girl. Watch as a YA love triangle forms. Then steal the girl yourself.

Forge your freind to be your servant, then get them to give you the last slice of pizza.

Awaken the last slice of pizza with the command "ruin friendships."

Posted (edited)

Use Awakening to "grayscale" the family photos. Be sure to give a garbled Command to whatever you are Awakening (we wouldn't want any side effects, now would we?)

Edited by Xaladin
Posted

Use Awakening to "grayscale" the family photos. Be sure to give a garbled Command to whatever you are Awakening (we wouldn't want any side effects, now would we?)

Or Command the photos to "Be grayscale."

Posted

Awaken something with the Command "Do not be Awakened."

It was a simple thing which Shattered Adonalsium.

Posted

Awaken a bunch of Angel statues to follow any Whovians they see when they're not looking.

Posted (edited)

Use steel pushes and iron pulls to move around the office in your rolling office chair...

 

Use steel pushes and iron pulls to spin your office chair so fast that you throw up...then use this as your excuse to go home early...

 

find an apartment that you would like to move into that is already being rented...then use soothing and rioting...steel pushes and iron pulls...awakening...gravitation surges...really whatever else you can think of...to convince the occupants that the place is haunted...wait for them to move out...

Edited by hoidhunter
Posted

find an apartment that you would like to move into that is already being rented...then use soothing and rioting...steel pushes and iron pulls...awakening...gravitation surges...really whatever else you can think of...to convince the occupants that the place is haunted...wait for them to move out...

Alternately, just Awakening, maybe with just a bit of Hemalurgy (for some sincerity in the presence of foreign souls).

Posted

Tell your Cryptic: "This is not a Truth" (I'm honestly curious as to what Pattern would do if Shallan said this)

Posted

Tell your Cryptic: "This is not a Truth" (I'm honestly curious as to what Pattern would do if Shallan said this)

 

The last time a Lightweaver said this, men later called the event "The Recreance."

Posted

Tell your Cryptic: "This is not a Truth" (I'm honestly curious as to what Pattern would do if Shallan said this)

There needs to be a Cryptic named Wheatley now.

Can an essence mark correct the gender of a newborn? What with the lack of much history to speak of I think such a change is within the realm of plausibility.

Posted (edited)

Can an essence mark correct the gender of a newborn? What with the lack of much history to speak of I think such a change is within the realm of plausibility.

"correct"?

Stamp someone else's test to be yours instead, leading to absolutely no gain when it clears all the correct answers the other person had written and either replaces them with the wrong answers you would have written or with nothing because you were banking on this working. When you realize it didn't work, throw up a Bendalloy bubble to quickly fill in the answers (guess, because you didn't study) while filling a Luckmind. Turn in the paper as if nothing happened. Later in the day, when you think the teacher is grading, tap the Luckmind (and be wrong about the timing). Take a video of your dog howling "Valjean's Soliliquy"* and post to Youtube (because Luck). When you get your test back and realize it's not what you hoped for, hemalurgically spike the teacher and forcefully obtain the shard of Harmony from Sazed*, and then make the teacher regrade your test to a good grade. Give Sazed back his shard*. Get reported for cheating on the test by the student whose test you stole, then jailed for stabbing a teacher with metal spikes. Fail the class.

...

Have an interesting story to tell at parties**?

* Impossible or likely so

** Federal hearings

Edited by kinxer
Posted

Charge a hemalurgic spike with the speed attribute of a sloth or tortoise.

Make an inquisitor, but replace the iron/steel eye-spikes with hemalurgic spikes charged with someone's eyesight attribute. (not actually sure if this is a legitimate hemalurgic attribute that can be charged, but going to assume so for now)

for that matter, try to charge a hemalurgic spike with eyesight by spiking a blind man.

and not so much useless as downright cruel: go through a local pharmacy soulstamping pregnancy tests and various birth control devices to be defective

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