the most useless uses for useful powers

[king of nowhere]

Many threads focused on finding some god use for some apparently uselss power. Here, I'm doing the opposite: take some perfectly good power and squander it in some ridiculous way.

here my ideas

Surgebinding

- infuse yourself with stormlight, then read by night without needing to turn on the light.

- use a lashing to bind your trousers tight so you don't need a belt

- when opening or closing a door, change gravity on the handle instead of pushing or pulling it.

Soulcasting

- if you are stuck out under the rain, constantly soulcast the water in your clothes to air so you stay dry (that looks useful enough, but you could just soulcast an umbrella)

- turn ink to blood. Sign everything in blood, because it's cool

Awakening

- awaken the ties of your shoes and have them tie themselves, because you are THAT lazy

- same for your cravat

- awaken the food you're cooking and tell it to stir itself

now I'm wondering if you could use awakening to do household chores; that would actually be useful

Allomancy

- have a keyboard specifically made of metal for you. type by steelpushing (i figure it would be much more difficult than just using the fingers. maybe vin or kelsier could have typed at a reasonable speed and used their hands to do other things)

- have a layer of metal under the pavements, roofs and walls in your house. float in your house instead of walking.

- put a metal collar on your dog. use a subtle ironpull on it instead of a common leash.

Feruchemy

- use alcohol or drugs freely. tap gold to prevent damage to yoru body. tap more gold if you need to be sober to drive.

- only for kids: fill gold to stay home from school

- tap a lot from bronze to make a sauna without the sauna. Bonus points if you're in your garden in the middle of the winter dressed only with a towel and swaeting like hell. Extra bonus points if you accumulate all that heat by walking around with an heavy coat in summer.

Find others!

[Straff Venture he/him]

Awaken pieces of straw so that they stand up.

[Aeshdan he/him]

Many threads focused on finding some god use for some apparently uselss power. Here, I'm doing the opposite: take some perfectly good power and squander it in some ridiculous way.

here my ideas

Surgebinding

- infuse yourself with stormlight, then read by night without needing to turn on the light.

- use a lashing to bind your trousers tight so you don't need a belt

- when opening or closing a door, change gravity on the handle instead of pushing or pulling it.

Soulcasting

- if you are stuck out under the rain, constantly soulcast the water in your clothes to air so you stay dry (that looks useful enough, but you could just soulcast an umbrella)

- turn ink to blood. Sign everything in blood, because it's cool

Awakening

- awaken the ties of your shoes and have them tie themselves, because you are THAT lazy

- same for your cravat

- awaken the food you're cooking and tell it to stir itself

now I'm wondering if you could use awakening to do household chores; that would actually be useful

Allomancy

- have a keyboard specifically made of metal for you. type by steelpushing (i figure it would be much more difficult than just using the fingers. maybe vin or kelsier could have typed at a reasonable speed and used their hands to do other things)

- have a layer of metal under the pavements, roofs and walls in your house. float in your house instead of walking.

- put a metal collar on your dog. use a subtle ironpull on it instead of a common leash.

Feruchemy

- use alcohol or drugs freely. tap gold to prevent damage to yoru body. tap more gold if you need to be sober to drive.

- only for kids: fill gold to stay home from school

- tap a lot from bronze to make a sauna without the sauna. Bonus points if you're in your garden in the middle of the winter dressed only with a towel and swaeting like hell. Extra bonus points if you accumulate all that heat by walking around with an heavy coat in summer.

Find others!

Soulcasting: Make yourself new drinks without ever having to get up off the couch.

Feruchemy: Store scent and eat enough onions and garlic to stink up a whole Dominance. Great way to win a bad-breath contest.

Store taste while eating your veggies and tap it for desert.

[Aminar]

Allomancy

-

- have a layer of metal under the pavements, roofs and walls in your house. float in your house instead of walking.

Copper Piping covers this well enough.

Create a generator powered by your steelpushing. Use it to keep drinks cold.

Peddle a bicycle with steel pushes/Pulls.

[Observer]

Use the "Hoidsmar" to travel a few steps forward.

Start storing Copper at all times, and be sure to put away the memory of how to stop.

[Voidus]

Set up a spanreed in the next room so you don't have to bother talking.

[Observer]

Sounds almost like modern texting...

[Voidus]

Steelpush the switch for the kettle.

Ironpull the lock to let people in.

Put Brandon in a Bendalloy bubble so SA2 gets finished quicker (Not useless but it needs to be said as often as possible )

Soulcast flies instead of using a flyswatter.

At easter just soulcast real eggs into chocolate instead of buying from the shops.

Awaken a pen to 'do paperwork'

Soulcast your name onto someone else's homework.

Use Aon Tia to get things from the fridge.

Soulcast something into fire instead of using a heater.

Soulcast your shoes into ice, and perform a quarter-lashing on yourself, then skate wherever you need to go. (Actually that one sounds fun)

- put a metal collar on your dog. use a subtle ironpull on it instead of a common leash.

When I read this one I just imagined a fledgling Allomancer accidentally pulling too hard and flinging a Labrador into some kids.

Edited September 18, 2012 by Voidus

[Lightflame he/him]

- Use Feruchemistry to have infinite bad luck.

- Lash other people to their clothes so they can't undress.

- Use Duraluminum and aluminum at the same time to run out of metals super fast.

- Use Aon illusions to look like yourself.

[Lightflame he/him]

Also, everyone in this thread gets 1+ rep.

[Voidus]

- Lash other people to their clothes so they can't undress.

This one's my favourite so far, I was just about to say the same thing but with shoes. Upvote for Lightflame! (Also, try to just edit your post, instead of double posting if you can.)

[Aminar]

- Lash other people to their clothes so they can't undress.

Lash pants to the ground... Wait, that could win fights, hard to fight with your pants around your ankles.

There's some amusing but wrong ways to lash Clothing.

[Zas678 he/him]

Ooh! I know. Sacrifice a Dakhor monk to get transported a block away.

[Voidus]

Spike yourself with your own allomantic ability!

[Pechvarry]

New theory!

Hoid is travelling through time and meddling with shardworlds, and even using limited prescience to find the best car insurance In the universe!

[Observer]

I like it!

Drawing the Aon for nothing.

Use tin to see through the paper bag on your head - very useful.

[The Count he/him]

Awaken a duracel bunny

[Zenith]

Using allomantic pushes/pulls to push your chair in.

[Voidus]

Storing weight in one metalmind while tapping it from another. Just because.

[name_here]

Use tin to wear sunglasses at night.

Use feruchemical Atium to convince customers you are the store manager.

Store identity so no one notices you are slacking on the job.

[Voidus]

Feruchemical Brass to fake a sicky, gold for same.

[Cones For Eyes he/him]

Introducing the Huuuuuman Hammer!: *Steel pushes a nail into a piece of wood...*

I think I mentioned this in another thread somewhere already

Oooh, also, water-skiing would be great fun, just pull yourself along with iron pulling (assuming we were in a world with speedboats and allomancy :S)

[happyman he/him]

Ooh! I know. Sacrifice a Dakhor monk to get transported a block away.

I'd feel better about this one if Dilaf hadn't once done exactly that just to show that he could.

[Cracknut he/him]

Oooh, also, water-skiing would be great fun, just pull yourself along with iron pulling (assuming we were in a world with speedboats and allomancy :S)

I'm not really in physics and stuff but would you be able to walk on water while storing weight?

Edited September 18, 2012 by 213

[Cones For Eyes he/him]

I'm not really in physics and stuff but would you be able to walk on water while storing weight?

Well the short answer is no. Depending on exactly how much weight you "lost" while you were storing it, you might be able to float but any kind of walking motion would be pretty difficult. I think it'd be impossible to balance with the water moving around below you. It'd probably be a bit like trying to walk on jelly (if that could hold your weight), only so much worse.