Gnomes

[Block he/him]

You people may not know, but Gnomes are omniscient, omnipotent beings that control the universe. I feel obligated to tell you all because the Gnome revolution has started and they are coming to destroy us.

[Soulbinder she/her]

Oh no! It's Gnomeageddon!

[Block he/him]

4 minutes ago, Soulbinder said:

Oh no! It's Gnomeageddon!

Indeed. Our only hope is that the Potato Government will save us

[RoyalBeeMage he/him]

24 minutes ago, Block said:

Indeed. Our only hope is that the Potato Government will save us

as president of the potato government i am here to tell you that the potato council is at work finding a solution to this madness!

[AonEne he/him]

4 hours ago, Block said:

You people may not know, but Gnomes are omniscient, omnipotent beings that control the universe. I feel obligated to tell you all because the Gnome revolution has started and they are coming to destroy us.

*whispers* pssst, Captain, the propaganda campaign is going great, everyone totally thinks we're coming to destroy them instead of to steal all their gelato, but also I think it may have worked a little too well because they also think we're all-powerful and I don't know how to live up to that expectation, sir, what do we do 

[Lunamor she/her]

6 minutes ago, AonEne said:

*whispers* pssst, Captain, the propaganda campaign is going great, everyone totally thinks we're coming to destroy them instead of to steal all their gelato, but also I think it may have worked a little too well because they also think we're all-powerful and I don't know how to live up to that expectation, sir, what do we do 

We must distract them and feign weakness. I have a solution:

Spoiler

 

[Block he/him]

7 hours ago, Lunamor said:

Someone has poisoned the Gnomes!

[Through the Living Questio he/him]

“Wahahahahaaaa! Potato Government I am here to save you!”

*brandishes potato cannons*

*whispers to whoever is leading the gnomes*

”I’m on your side! Potatoes are delicious but gnomes are all powerful and kinda scary so I’m gonna help you. If you promise not to steal my family’s hard earned gelato.”

Edited April 23, 2024 by WhyEverNot_8
Sorry 😅

[Pineap-spider Pineapple/Spider]

"The NPD (National Potatoe Defense) Has formally declared war on all gnome kind. We give you 24 hours to respond."

"Mr. President, what do we do? No one wants to try and fight the Gnomes."

Spoiler

Should this topic go somewhere else?

 

[AonEne he/him]

Spoiler

Feels pretty fitting in Random Stuff to me. 

Captain they've declared war they've declared war we are DOOMED. On the bright side, the distraction seems to be working? 

[RoyalBeeMage he/him]

20 hours ago, Pineap-spider said:

"The NPD (National Potatoe Defense) Has formally declared war on all gnome kind. We give you 24 hours to respond."

"Mr. President, what do we do? No one wants to try and fight the Gnomes."

  Hide contents

Should this topic go somewhere else?

 

our best bet is to ready the potato cannons and prepare to fire down on them! give them 4 hours to respond!

Quote

i will likely be asleep when that happens...

 

[strmblsd he/him]

I'll go and grab the potatapult!!!

[Pineap-spider Pineapple/Spider]

"24 hours are up! Fire!"

*a handful of slightly larger than average potatoes fly over the walls of Spudgart, landing in the general vicinity of the gnome camp. a completely unimpressive display*

* a small group of soldiers start digging trenches around the city, preparing for the gnome attack*

 

[Just_a_Fan he/him]

A Snapdragon appears. given scaling, it is more-or-less an actual dragon in this. 

the gnome camp is now coated in soot, due to a small part of Spudgart being set a-flame. smog clouds now flood the skies.

the plant-dragon roars from above, zipping around at "unearthly" speeds. (3 mph.)

Edited April 25, 2024 by Just_a_Fan

[Through the Living Questio he/him]

Draws my potato cannons, sitting in the middle of the camp and returns fire on the potato-people with fake potatoes.

I also pull out a giant water gun and shoot the snapdragon with it.

[Just_a_Fan he/him]

In retaliation, it razes the gnome camp with a potent ray of Dragon-Flame, melting the powerful water cannon.

with their main front lines wiped out by dragon ex machina, the gnomes are set back a bit. 

also, the aforementioned smog kinda blocked out the sun, so no crops were growing very well.

Spoiler

tldr; "did you kill it?"

"nope, we just made it angry."

"oh [crem]."

"actually, there's a 1/256 chance we healed it."

"oh [crem]!"

Edited April 25, 2024 by Just_a_Fan

[Wierdo he/him]

*Making fries*

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

1 minute ago, Wierdo said:

*Making fries*

*also making fries*

"Fry sauce?" *sigh*

[Wierdo he/him]

1 minute ago, Through The Living Glass said:

*also making fries*

"Fry sauce?" *sigh*

"Do you know how to make it? Because I do- also- do you use the airfrier?"

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

1 minute ago, Wierdo said:

"Do you know how to make it? Because I do- also- do you use the airfrier?"

"I think so. Mayo, ketchup, and relish. Right? ...Yeah, airfrier."

*nom nom*

[Wierdo he/him]

13 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

"I think so. Mayo, ketchup, and relish. Right? ...Yeah, airfrier."

*nom nom*

.  .  . "For me rarely (never) relish. I use pickle juice- and a drop of mustard-"

Edited April 25, 2024 by Wierdo

[Experience he/him]

relish in fry sauce?!

[Wierdo he/him]

2 minutes ago, Experience said:

relish in fry sauce?!

IKR!!! i personally don't use it-

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

"It's good though." *potato murder* "Fry sauce in general is just okay."

[Wierdo he/him]

1 minute ago, Through The Living Glass said:

"It's good though." *potato murder* "Fry sauce in general is just okay."

"how DARE you- only 'just okay'"
*mixing*