Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[Kidpen]

Granted, but only with fruit and yogurt.

I wish for fruit and yogurt.

[Zath]

11 minutes ago, Kidpen said:

I wish for fruit and yogurt.

The Nightwatcher sees fit to grant you this boon.  She gives you an orchard full of fruit-bearing trees, and half-a-dozen cows from Shinovar.  (You may make your own yogurt now).

Your bane is that now you feel like you have a bit of chull jerky stuck between your teeth.  Your tongue will forever be worrying and probing for this non-existent piece of food.

I call upon the Nightwatcher to fulfill my boon: I wish for a puppy that will make me happy (and is happy itself).

Edited April 26, 2018 by Zath

[Ashspren]

7 minutes ago, Zath said:

The Nightwatcher sees fit to grant you this boon.  She gives you an orchard full of fruit-bearing trees, and half-a-dozen cows from Shinovar.  (You may make your own yogurt now).

Your bane is that now you feel like you have a bit of chull jerky stuck between your teeth.  Your tongue will forever be worrying and probing for this non-existent piece of food.

I call upon the Nightwatcher to fulfill my boon: I wish for a puppy that will make me happy (and is happy itself).

Granted, but now the puppy is the only thing that makes you happy. He/She is stolen from you, and you are now sad for the rest of your life.

I wish to be able to try food from every place in the Cosmere.

[The Young Pyromancer]

Granted, but it tastes TERRIBLE!

I wish for the powers of a full Feruchemist, and a stock of metalminds that have infinite storage space and yet are rings of finite size. 

[Zath]

38 minutes ago, Ashspren said:

Granted, but now the puppy is the only thing that makes you happy. He/She is stolen from you, and you are now sad for the rest of your life.

Dang.

 

38 minutes ago, Ashspren said:

I wish to be able to try food from every place in the Cosmere.

The Nightwatcher stares at you for a second, then shrugs and waves her hand.  A vast table appears before you, filled with all kinds of food from across the Cosmere (including some things that could only be described as "food" by someone with an immense and very forgiving imagination).  You pick up a platter of what looks like roasted chull claws and take a bite.  Funny... It tastes exactly like that burrito you had before coming to ask a boon of the Nightwatcher...  As you continue with your feast, you realize that nothing tastes like what you expected it to. 
You finally realize that each food item tastes like what you had eaten immediately beforehand: the chull claws taste like a burrito, the Shinovar chicken tastes like chull claws, the Alethi sapphire wine tastes like Shinovar chicken, the chouta tastes like Alethi sapphire wine, etc, etc.  This strange bane stays with you for the rest of your life.
Also, every morning without fail, no matter what precautions you might take, a cremling finds its way into your left shoe.  Sorry about that.

Dang it! Ninja'd by TheYoungPyromancer.  Okay then.
 

 

18 minutes ago, TheYoungPyromancer said:

I wish for the powers of a full Feruchemist, and a stock of metalminds that have infinite storage space and yet are rings of finite size.

The Nightwatcher grants you these powers, making you a full Feruchemist. She also throws in a set of rings.  All the rings are cheap plastic, the kind of stuff you'd find at a dollar store.  Still, nothing's stopping you from gathering pieces of metal that will work as metalminds.  

Your bane is that you must consume an entire wheel of Camembert cheese before you can tap any of your powers. (You might want to find some bendalloy soon to store all those extra calories). Also, you are now lactose intolerant.  You can still eat the cheese, but... well, make sure there's a bathroom nearby.  That's all I'll say about that topic.    

I call upon the Nightwatcher to fulfill my boon: I wish for whoever took my puppy to realize the anguish of my soul, and return little Sir Puggsley Flufflepants (the puppy) back to me unharmed and full of vigor and vivacious vim.

Edited April 26, 2018 by Zath
spelling

[MacThorstenson]

Granted, you have your puppy back

The bane is that he has been spiked with F-Bendalloy, and has a filled bendalloy collar around his neck. Immediately after he gets to you, he taps it all at once. All the energy converts into heat, and he explodes with the force of a ton or two of TNT.

I wish for the nightwatcher to give me the question about life the universe and everything.

[+ElephantEarwax]

The nightwatcher whispers to you, "What is 42?" Then she whispers, "it is just a number."

I wish for a working hemalurgic spike irl.

[Apollyon]

6 minutes ago, MacThorstenson said:

Granted, you have your puppy back

The bane is that he has been spiked with F-Bendalloy, and has a filled bendalloy collar around his neck. Immediately after he gets to you, he taps it all at once. All the energy converts into heat, and he explodes with the force of a ton or two of TNT.

I wish for the nightwatcher to give me the question about life the universe and everything.

Granted, but as the question cannot exist isn’t the same universe as the answer, you don’t know the answer.

I wish the answer wasn’t 42.

Edit: Ninja’d by Elephant

@ElephantEarwax Granted, but now everyone is completely devoid of attributes that could be spiked out. 

Same wish as the first one.

 

 

Edited April 27, 2018 by Apollyon

[MacThorstenson]

6 minutes ago, ElephantEarwax said:

The nightwatcher whispers to you, "What is 42?" Then she whispers, "it is just a number."

I wish for a working hemalurgic spike irl.

It is granted, you are given a spike that confers A-aluminum.

Your bane is that it is automatically inserted in your body.

3 minutes ago, Apollyon said:

Granted, but as the question cannot exist isn’t the same universe as the answer, you don’t know the answer.

I wish the answer wasn’t 42.

Granted.

Your bane is that you will live knowing that you used to know the answer, but know you don't

I wish to be the next vessel of cultivation.

Edited April 27, 2018 by MacThorstenson

[Zath]

47 minutes ago, MacThorstenson said:

Granted, you have your puppy back

The bane is that he has been spiked with F-Bendalloy, and has a filled bendalloy collar around his neck. Immediately after he gets to you, he taps it all at once. All the energy converts into heat, and he explodes with the force of a ton or two of TNT.

Oh, wow.  Didn't know Feruchemical Bendalloy could even DO that... Storming Nightwatcher, messing around with Investiture and blowing up my puppy...

40 minutes ago, MacThorstenson said:

I wish to be the next vessel of cultivation.

The Nightwatcher grants your boon.  You are now a potted plant.  A cultivated plant contained within the vessel of a pot, to be precise.  ("Capitalization is important," cautions the Nightwatcher.  )

I call upon the Nightwatcher to fulfill my boon: I wish to know the secrets of Feruchemical Bendalloy (and to retain my sanity in the process, thank you very much).

[MacThorstenson]

2 minutes ago, Zath said:

Oh, wow.  Didn't know Feruchemical Bendalloy could even DO that... Storming Nightwatcher, messing around with Investiture and blowing up my puppy...

The Nightwatcher grants your boon.  You are now a potted plant.  A cultivated plant contained within the vessel of a pot, to be precise.  ("Capitalization is important," cautions the Nightwatcher.  )

I call upon the Nightwatcher to fulfill my boon: I wish to know the secrets of Feruchemical Bendalloy (and to retain my sanity in the process, thank you very much).

I mean, its not cannon, but drawing that much energy into one thing is going to have ramifications, all that energy has to go somewhere. I believe it would get expressed during heat.

The nightwatcher grants your boon.

Your curse is that you spend the rest of your life thinking its fake, and made up and written by this brandon sanderson guy.

I call upon the night watcher to grant my boon.

I wish to be the vessel of ALL cultivation (yes, all capitalization is correct).

[Zath]

23 minutes ago, MacThorstenson said:

I call upon the night watcher to grant my boon.

I wish to be the vessel of ALL cultivation (yes, all capitalization is correct).

Your boon is granted.  Not only do you become the vessel of Cultivation, but all plant life in reality is connected to your Shardic consciousness.  You revel in the sublime beauty of your Connection with plants everywhere.  And then you grow increasingly angry at the humans who dare to harm your children, killing them for use in salads, and other such nonsense!  You start systematically hunting down vegans and vegetarians with your Shard-ly power, then you move on to herbivores, omnivores, and even carnivores (why not, right?).  You turn everybody into greenery.  She's eating spinach? Poof! She's a rhododendron bush now.  He's enjoying an artichoke? Shazam!  He's a daffodil.  Eventually, the only living things anywhere in existence are plants.  Excluding the Nightwatcher.  She thanks you for getting rid of all those pesky humans. Now maybe they'll stop bothering her with boon requests.  

At that moment, a small tumbleweed (previously known as Zath) blows in on the wind and petitions the Nightwatcher for a boon (don't ask me how).

Zath the tumbleweed wishes that he was human again.

[Kidpen]

2 minutes ago, Zath said:

Your boon is granted.  Not only do you become the vessel of Cultivation, but all plant life in reality is connected to your Shardic consciousness.  You revel in the sublime beauty of your Connection with plants everywhere.  And then you grow increasingly angry at the humans who dare to harm your children, killing them for use in salads, and other such nonsense!  You start systematically hunting down vegans and vegetarians with your Shard-ly power, then you move on to herbivores, omnivores, and even carnivores (why not, right?).  You turn everybody into greenery.  She's eating spinach? Poof! She's a rhododendron bush now.  He's enjoying an artichoke? Shazam!  He's a daffodil.  Eventually, the only living things anywhere in existence are plants.  Excluding the Nightwatcher.  She thanks you for getting rid of all those pesky humans. Now maybe they'll stop bothering her with boon requests.  

At that moment, a small tumbleweed (previously known as Zath) blows in on the wind and petitions the Nightwatcher for a boon (don't ask me how).

Zath the tumbleweed wishes that he was human again.

Poison ivy.

Granted. However, Zath realizes being a tumbleweed was actually a lot better.

I wish to be a tumbleweed again.

[Apollyon]

@Kidpen Granted, but you are forever doomed to plague the roads of Arizona as you and you kin always do, and proceed to get ran over. 

I wish tumbleweeds didn’t exist...

[MacThorstenson]

Granted. No more tumble weeds exist. Using my newly made stickilurgy, I transform them into flying weeds.

But you are forever a weed on the ground. never to change again.

I wish for my plants to never wish me out of power in any way shape or form.

Edited April 27, 2018 by MacThorstenson

[Apollyon]

@MacThorstenson Granted, but unknown to even Cultivation, there are other plants that are not yours.

I wish this post could become the longest thread: 

 

Edited April 27, 2018 by Apollyon

[MacThorstenson]

Granted it is The Longest Thread.

Your bane is that you are Apollyon.

I wish to have the power that anything that makes a wish of me to become my plant.

[Zath]

25 minutes ago, MacThorstenson said:

I wish to have the power that anything that makes a wish of me to become my plant.

Granted.  Anything and anyone that asks for a wish from you, MacThorstenson, vessel of all Cultivation in existence, will now be turned into a plant. Your plant.

Your bane is that no one asks you for wishes except for plants that are already under your control.  (You get a few solicitations in your divine Shard-mail regarding "mystery shopper" opportunities on Nalthis, but those don't count.)

I call upon the Nightwatcher to grant my boon: I wish for a SPACESHIP.

Edited April 27, 2018 by Zath
Punctuation

[MacThorstenson]

Granted. 

Your boon is that it is a ship designed primarily for floating in water, and less for space travel.

I wish for the following sentence to be true.

This sentence is false.

[Apollyon]

Granted, but doing so destroys the fabric of the universe, and with it, your being the vessel of Cultivation.

I wish for Cultivation to be Mac’s again.

[Jehoiada]

It is Mac's, but every time he uses the power he kills ten percent of the population 

I wish for more wishes 

[Kidpen]

Da nightwatcher don’t work like that. You get a pie and a lifetime 10 years shorter.

I wish for less wishes.

[Jehoiada]

Granted, but you get less wishes 

I wish for a spoon (better to be with a spoon then without a spoon)

[ScarletSabre]

Granted, however this spoon, whenever you think about it, bends from innate telekinetic power, making it difficult to the point of absurdity to actually use it as a spoon.

I wish for a slice of pizza that will regrow any bites taken out of it. An infinite pizza slice, if you will. And for it to be in my favourite flavour!

[AonEne]

Granted, but you suddenly hate pizza. 

I wish everyone turned their profile picture green for mental health awareness month.