Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[Jehoiada he/him]

5 hours ago, Quell said:

i wish for this post to not be taken seriously. (Abstract things like this are kinda fun to do.)

Yes, but only in bananas 

I wish for a bush monkey in a bowler hat.

[syntyche]

On he throws his poop at you

 

I wish for infinite food. 

[Ink he/him]

Granted, but for a day.

 

i wish for the next curse to be a boon.

[Kidpen he/him]

Granted. Your curse is that you get a salad.

I wish for a ceaser salad.

[Jehoiada he/him]

Granted, but you get your least favorite salad dressing.

I wish my bush monkey would stop throwing his poop at me

[AonEne he/him]

I had CW in middle school - twice. Once it rocked. The other time we did a ton of stuff that has NOTHING to do with writing, at all. Stuff like lip syncing. Sigh. 

Granted, but now he throws...his pee? Um. We'll just roll with it...(Don't hate me) 

I wish for the mods to not crack down on me for saying that, just in case. 

[Ink he/him]

Granted, but the rest of the Shard now hates you.

I wish for a way onto a planet in the cosmere. that i can go through.

[AonEne he/him]

Granted. The planet is Braize. 

I wish the Shard didn't hate me. 

[Ink he/him]

Granted, but now your friends hate you.

i wish to meet chuck norris.

[syntyche]

Granted. He round house kicks you in the face.

i wish for all knowledge of the cosmere

[Ink he/him]

*ouch*

Granted, but you forget everything in the books and cant read any more of Brandon's works

I wish to be an Elantrian.

Edited April 26, 2018 by Quell

[Tesh Any pronouns]

Granted. But you are that one person who was thrown into the Perpendicularity.

I wish for my Kindle's sound to actually work, so I can have a conversation with someone on hangouts and actually be able to hear them more than half of the time. 

[Gancho Libre he/him]

Granted, but that becomes the only working feature. 

I wish cottage cheese tasted good.

[Kidpen he/him]

Granted, but only with fruit and yogurt.

I wish for fruit and yogurt.

[Zath he/him]

11 minutes ago, Kidpen said:

I wish for fruit and yogurt.

The Nightwatcher sees fit to grant you this boon.  She gives you an orchard full of fruit-bearing trees, and half-a-dozen cows from Shinovar.  (You may make your own yogurt now).

Your bane is that now you feel like you have a bit of chull jerky stuck between your teeth.  Your tongue will forever be worrying and probing for this non-existent piece of food.

I call upon the Nightwatcher to fulfill my boon: I wish for a puppy that will make me happy (and is happy itself).

Edited April 26, 2018 by Zath

[Ashspren]

7 minutes ago, Zath said:

The Nightwatcher sees fit to grant you this boon.  She gives you an orchard full of fruit-bearing trees, and half-a-dozen cows from Shinovar.  (You may make your own yogurt now).

Your bane is that now you feel like you have a bit of chull jerky stuck between your teeth.  Your tongue will forever be worrying and probing for this non-existent piece of food.

I call upon the Nightwatcher to fulfill my boon: I wish for a puppy that will make me happy (and is happy itself).

Granted, but now the puppy is the only thing that makes you happy. He/She is stolen from you, and you are now sad for the rest of your life.

I wish to be able to try food from every place in the Cosmere.

[The Young Pyromancer he/him]

Granted, but it tastes TERRIBLE!

I wish for the powers of a full Feruchemist, and a stock of metalminds that have infinite storage space and yet are rings of finite size. 

[Zath he/him]

38 minutes ago, Ashspren said:

Granted, but now the puppy is the only thing that makes you happy. He/She is stolen from you, and you are now sad for the rest of your life.

Dang.

 

38 minutes ago, Ashspren said:

I wish to be able to try food from every place in the Cosmere.

The Nightwatcher stares at you for a second, then shrugs and waves her hand.  A vast table appears before you, filled with all kinds of food from across the Cosmere (including some things that could only be described as "food" by someone with an immense and very forgiving imagination).  You pick up a platter of what looks like roasted chull claws and take a bite.  Funny... It tastes exactly like that burrito you had before coming to ask a boon of the Nightwatcher...  As you continue with your feast, you realize that nothing tastes like what you expected it to. 
You finally realize that each food item tastes like what you had eaten immediately beforehand: the chull claws taste like a burrito, the Shinovar chicken tastes like chull claws, the Alethi sapphire wine tastes like Shinovar chicken, the chouta tastes like Alethi sapphire wine, etc, etc.  This strange bane stays with you for the rest of your life.
Also, every morning without fail, no matter what precautions you might take, a cremling finds its way into your left shoe.  Sorry about that.

Dang it! Ninja'd by TheYoungPyromancer.  Okay then.
 

 

18 minutes ago, TheYoungPyromancer said:

I wish for the powers of a full Feruchemist, and a stock of metalminds that have infinite storage space and yet are rings of finite size.

The Nightwatcher grants you these powers, making you a full Feruchemist. She also throws in a set of rings.  All the rings are cheap plastic, the kind of stuff you'd find at a dollar store.  Still, nothing's stopping you from gathering pieces of metal that will work as metalminds.  

Your bane is that you must consume an entire wheel of Camembert cheese before you can tap any of your powers. (You might want to find some bendalloy soon to store all those extra calories). Also, you are now lactose intolerant.  You can still eat the cheese, but... well, make sure there's a bathroom nearby.  That's all I'll say about that topic.    

I call upon the Nightwatcher to fulfill my boon: I wish for whoever took my puppy to realize the anguish of my soul, and return little Sir Puggsley Flufflepants (the puppy) back to me unharmed and full of vigor and vivacious vim.

Edited April 26, 2018 by Zath
spelling

[MacThorstenson he/him]

Granted, you have your puppy back

The bane is that he has been spiked with F-Bendalloy, and has a filled bendalloy collar around his neck. Immediately after he gets to you, he taps it all at once. All the energy converts into heat, and he explodes with the force of a ton or two of TNT.

I wish for the nightwatcher to give me the question about life the universe and everything.

[+ElephantEarwax he/him]

The nightwatcher whispers to you, "What is 42?" Then she whispers, "it is just a number."

I wish for a working hemalurgic spike irl.

[Apollyon he/him]

6 minutes ago, MacThorstenson said:

Granted, you have your puppy back

The bane is that he has been spiked with F-Bendalloy, and has a filled bendalloy collar around his neck. Immediately after he gets to you, he taps it all at once. All the energy converts into heat, and he explodes with the force of a ton or two of TNT.

I wish for the nightwatcher to give me the question about life the universe and everything.

Granted, but as the question cannot exist isn’t the same universe as the answer, you don’t know the answer.

I wish the answer wasn’t 42.

Edit: Ninja’d by Elephant

@ElephantEarwax Granted, but now everyone is completely devoid of attributes that could be spiked out. 

Same wish as the first one.

 

 

Edited April 27, 2018 by Apollyon

[MacThorstenson he/him]

6 minutes ago, ElephantEarwax said:

The nightwatcher whispers to you, "What is 42?" Then she whispers, "it is just a number."

I wish for a working hemalurgic spike irl.

It is granted, you are given a spike that confers A-aluminum.

Your bane is that it is automatically inserted in your body.

3 minutes ago, Apollyon said:

Granted, but as the question cannot exist isn’t the same universe as the answer, you don’t know the answer.

I wish the answer wasn’t 42.

Granted.

Your bane is that you will live knowing that you used to know the answer, but know you don't

I wish to be the next vessel of cultivation.

Edited April 27, 2018 by MacThorstenson

[Zath he/him]

47 minutes ago, MacThorstenson said:

Granted, you have your puppy back

The bane is that he has been spiked with F-Bendalloy, and has a filled bendalloy collar around his neck. Immediately after he gets to you, he taps it all at once. All the energy converts into heat, and he explodes with the force of a ton or two of TNT.

Oh, wow.  Didn't know Feruchemical Bendalloy could even DO that... Storming Nightwatcher, messing around with Investiture and blowing up my puppy...

40 minutes ago, MacThorstenson said:

I wish to be the next vessel of cultivation.

The Nightwatcher grants your boon.  You are now a potted plant.  A cultivated plant contained within the vessel of a pot, to be precise.  ("Capitalization is important," cautions the Nightwatcher.  )

I call upon the Nightwatcher to fulfill my boon: I wish to know the secrets of Feruchemical Bendalloy (and to retain my sanity in the process, thank you very much).

[MacThorstenson he/him]

2 minutes ago, Zath said:

Oh, wow.  Didn't know Feruchemical Bendalloy could even DO that... Storming Nightwatcher, messing around with Investiture and blowing up my puppy...

The Nightwatcher grants your boon.  You are now a potted plant.  A cultivated plant contained within the vessel of a pot, to be precise.  ("Capitalization is important," cautions the Nightwatcher.  )

I call upon the Nightwatcher to fulfill my boon: I wish to know the secrets of Feruchemical Bendalloy (and to retain my sanity in the process, thank you very much).

I mean, its not cannon, but drawing that much energy into one thing is going to have ramifications, all that energy has to go somewhere. I believe it would get expressed during heat.

The nightwatcher grants your boon.

Your curse is that you spend the rest of your life thinking its fake, and made up and written by this brandon sanderson guy.

I call upon the night watcher to grant my boon.

I wish to be the vessel of ALL cultivation (yes, all capitalization is correct).

[Zath he/him]

23 minutes ago, MacThorstenson said:

I call upon the night watcher to grant my boon.

I wish to be the vessel of ALL cultivation (yes, all capitalization is correct).

Your boon is granted.  Not only do you become the vessel of Cultivation, but all plant life in reality is connected to your Shardic consciousness.  You revel in the sublime beauty of your Connection with plants everywhere.  And then you grow increasingly angry at the humans who dare to harm your children, killing them for use in salads, and other such nonsense!  You start systematically hunting down vegans and vegetarians with your Shard-ly power, then you move on to herbivores, omnivores, and even carnivores (why not, right?).  You turn everybody into greenery.  She's eating spinach? Poof! She's a rhododendron bush now.  He's enjoying an artichoke? Shazam!  He's a daffodil.  Eventually, the only living things anywhere in existence are plants.  Excluding the Nightwatcher.  She thanks you for getting rid of all those pesky humans. Now maybe they'll stop bothering her with boon requests.  

At that moment, a small tumbleweed (previously known as Zath) blows in on the wind and petitions the Nightwatcher for a boon (don't ask me how).

Zath the tumbleweed wishes that he was human again.