Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Granted. Sort of.

Your boon and bane rolled into one is that you become the character Rob McKenna from hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy.

 

I wish to relocate my moon colony of sentient raccoons to mars. The moon has limited real estate for a sprawling raccoon empire you see.

[Magestar he/him]

Granted.  However, you now have to deal with the problem of surviving... on Mars.  But that isn't even your bane yet!

 

Your bane; You discover that there really are aliens on Mars, and they declare you a hostile force.  Good Luck with those problems.

 

 

I wish to be a Full Metalborn. (Full Feruchemist/Mistborn.)  With no disadvantages regarding the use of my powers.

[hoidhunter he/him]

The Nightwatcher feels that you deserve to be a twinborn...say...a nicrosil compounder...

 

your bane...kissing now makes you nauseous...

 

Have fun!

 

I ask the nightwatcher to move all of my things to my new house in cincinnati for me...I currently live in CA, and moving is going to be hard... 

[Argel he/him]

The Nightwatcher glares at you and asks why you think she is a parshwoman. With a flick of her hand, your belongings appear a mile up above you house, and you watch in agony as it all slowly falls onto your new house, destroying everything nearby. A video of it does go vital though.

 

Your bane is you cannot sleep indoors anymore.

 

I wish we had a full moon every night!

 

 

(good luck with the move)

Edited May 21, 2016 by Argel

[Jondesu he/him]

The Nightwatcher has a better grasp of astronomy and tidal dynamics than you, so instead of granting your intended wish, you will now see at least one random stranger driving by your house and mooning you each night.

Your name is to hear car horns, bells, and similar sounds as dog barks instead.

I wish to have a Nahel bond with a spren of Adolnasium.

jW

[Magestar he/him]

Granted?  You are bonded with a honorspren; of your choice.  This fits, because Honor is a shard of Adolnasium, and Honorspren are splinters of Honor, so, indirectly, you have a Spren... of Adolnasium.  

 

Anyway, your bane is that your spren is argumentative, and has a tendency to misinterpret your requests.  As a result of this, your powers are all wacky.

 

I wish for my previous two banes to cease working.

[Bugsy he/him]

Very well. The 2 previous banes you have assigned have now ceased to function. How kind of you to remove your curses shortly after applying them

Your bane is that you must start every sentence with a series of iterating letters starting at 'a' and progressing once per sentence used (ex. First sentence starts with a, second with b, so on and so forth)

I wish to have a very high intelligence that still allows for normal function and does not fluctuate

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Hm... Trying to dodge Taravangian's curses, hm?

 

The nightwatcher is amused by this, and decides to exploit the loophole you left. You are permanently intelligent. But you have absolutely no empathy for other humans.

 

I wish for the knowledge of what I can wish for so as to avoid receiving a bane that outweighs the wish.

[Mr. Staccato he/him]

The Nightwatcher cannot possibly grant you this wish because to impart with you such a knowledge is to relinquish her own position as Nightwatcher to you so she grants you the nexr best thing - she gives you a cookie. (Read: hemalurgically invested dental fillings)

And you know what? The Nightwatcher feels your genuine distress over the impossibility of your wish. She omits the bane and gives you second helping of your cookies. Have fun!

I wish for a way to bypass the upvote limit - that or a way to keep the part of my country where I live in constantly cool with gentle rainstorms. (Multitasking...)

[Magestar he/him]

AThe Nightwatcher tells you sadly that there is no way to bypass something so powerful, so fundamental, as the upvote limit.  BHowever, the weather is no big deal.  CThe second half of your wish is granted.  DYour part of the country is now cool, with gentle rainstorms.  EYou will probably get bored of that eventually.  (I can say from experience.)  

 

FYour bane is that you now smell slightly of garlic all the time.  Nothing you do can fix it.

 

GI wish that the previous two banes GIVEN to me would stop working.

Edited May 22, 2016 by Magestar

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Hm... The nightwatcher believes in fair trades.

So... Granted. Your previous two banes are revoked. You no longer have to iterate letters at the beginning of each sentence, and kissing no longer makes you nauseous.

Your bane is that you now have a stutter, and also you no longer have the capacity to feel empathy.

 

I wish to be made a gold feruchemist.

[Magestar he/him]

Done.  You are now a gold feruchemist.  However, you have no gold, because you are currently on the moon/mars.  (I lost track. Which was it?  )  Your bane is that you now cannot abide eating anything that is green.

 

 

I wish that I was an Inkheart. (From the Inkspell series.  I do not wish to have a heart made of ink, so no misinterpreting here.)

Edited May 24, 2016 by Magestar

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Hm... It was mars, and mars almost certainly does have gold deposits. And I have an empire of sentient raccoons to help me mine it. So I'll take it.

As for not being able to abide eating anything that is green... Don't I already have that?

So cool, I'll take it.

 

Alright... Granted. You are an inkheart. And all that entails in the book.

Your bane is... Whenever you see words you compulsively read them aloud. Good luck, friend. You will need it. Especially since right now you are reading posts on the 17^th shard.

 

I wish to own a tamed chasmfiend who is friendly to both humans and sentient raccoons...

Edited May 24, 2016 by Drake Marshall

[Renoux she/her]

Your wish is granted! You now have a friendly chasmfiend! Unfortunately your neighbors and everyone around you complains about it, and you're arrested for disturbing the peace. Your bane is that your chasmfiend goes to jail with you...and you share a cell.

 

I wish that I could own all of Brandon Sanderson's books, (in hardcover, in English).

[hoidhunter he/him]

Granted...Brandon is very upset with you for looting his personal library of all of his english hardcover books...he presses criminal charges.

 

Your bane...at your trial, you have to tell the judge that a magical creature called the nightwatcher (who lives in one of Brandon's fictional stories) gave them to you because you wished for it.  You end up in an insane asylum.

 

I wish for a recording of your trial...

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Granted! As a bonus, I will give you the recording from my trial as well. In which I was summoned before a court of sentient raccoons for disturbing the peace with my pet chasmfiend, and subsequently incarcerated for a week or so as per being found guilty on all counts.

 

Your bane is, the footage from my trial starts a whole slough of conspiracy theories about raccoons and aliens, and since the footage miraculously appeared to you, a lot of conspiracy types think you are an alien or something. They keep bothering you about it.

 

I wish to destroy some evil today.

[Sunbird she/her]

Granted! Your bane, however, is that you destroy everyone with the slightest evil tendencies and the human population is reduced to children too young to understand the concept of evil.

 

I wish for a camera that I can wear comfortably and unobtrusively on my face (or install directly into my eye) so that I can video or take pictures of things I see whenever I want.

[KnightRadiant she/her]

Granted. Your bane, however, is you can no longer close your eyelids, therefore you cannot sleep easily and must video and take pictures of everything you see.

 

I ask to be able to move at the speed of light.

[Sunbird she/her]

Granted. Unfortunately, you forgot to ask for a body durable enough to withstand the stress of doing so. Therefore, the first time you attempt to run at the speed of light, you get such an extreme case of chafing from the wind that you die.

 

I wish for a large pot of chili.

[hoidhunter he/him]

Granted...it's waiting for you at my future house in Cincinnati...don't mind the mess (storming nightwatcher wrecked all of my stuff AND my roof!)

 

Your bane...it's chili from Skyline...(I'm pretty sure it's made from ground up boot leather and roadkill)

 

I wish for some of the afore mentioned chili...hey...I'd better get used to eating it sometime...

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Hm... Granted. You can have it.

As your bane to make it a fair trade, the nightwatcher loads it with cayenne pepper. A lot of it.

 

I wish for an instinctive knowledge of the time of day and my location.

[Rasarr she/her]

Granted. However, any time you are in the same room as an analog clock, you hear it so loudly, it drowns out any other sound. When it comes to tower clocks, this happens only if you're in the building housing them.

 

I wish to be capable of consciously deciding when I fall asleep and when I wake up.

[Sunbird she/her]

Granted. Your bane is that you never dream again.

 

I wish to see a bald eagle tomorrow. (Going birdwatching.)

[KnightRadiant she/her]

Granted, but as soon as you identify the bird as a bald eagle, it will explode.

 

I ask to come back to life after my other bane killed me.

[signspace13 he/him]

granted, you return, now you have no memory of your previous life and will die in 8 days.

 

I wish to be a beta reader for stormlight 3.