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Posted

Granted. The hat will leak slime whenever you wear it.

i wish I had perfect drawing skills

Posted

Granted, but Coulsen dies again.

 I wish for the temperature of the air that exists in the space defined by my body and a one-inch radius from my body to always be exactly the temperature that will make me most comfortable.

Posted

Granted. Perfect temperatures all the time, just for you.

You can now only watch movies rated G. All the rest show up as static.

I wish for determination and memory to be able to get things done!

Posted
2 hours ago, Brightness Enna said:

Granted. Perfect temperatures all the time, just for you.

You can now only watch movies rated G. All the rest show up as static.

I wish for determination and memory to be able to get things done!

I'm less upset about that than other people would be. Remember, I can read. And then there's TV shows.

Posted
7 hours ago, Brightness Enna said:

Granted. Perfect temperatures all the time, just for you.

You can now only watch movies rated G. All the rest show up as static.

I wish for determination and memory to be able to get things done!

Granted. But you "remember" everything. And it drives you insane

I wish for that steam card I need to buy what I want

Posted

Granted. However, once you buy the item, everyone mocks you for liking it.

I wish for the ability to climate control my immediate surroundings so I don't have to argue with people over where to set the thermostat.

 

Posted
5 hours ago, Sunbird said:

Granted. However, once you buy the item, everyone mocks you for liking it.

I wish for the ability to climate control my immediate surroundings so I don't have to argue with people over where to set the thermostat.

 

granted, the others just argue more

I wish I had a hat to rival Wayne's

Posted

Granted.

Of course, Wayne got wind of this, and is now directing all of his considerable resources, including Wax's deductive skills and Steris's organizing talent, to securing that hat. If you ever want to know a moment of peace in your life again, you'll let him have it.

As long as you don't, this bane will follow you: whenever you wear that hat, you will experience everything Wayne would if he had it: the full scale of thoughts and emotions someone naturally wearing that hat would experience. It drives you crazy... but that's not the worst. More terrifying than anything is that mind-numbing knowledge that you posted a Mistborn topic on a Stormlight Archive forum! No chance of ever being allowed to fight for those Tranquiline Halls... 

My wish is to be spared your horrifying fate!

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Granted. Then your whole family dies, quickly. (I'm tired.)

I wish my house was clean. 

On a bit of a tangent...

Spoiler

What if the Nightwatcher's name was "Knightwatcher"?

 

Posted
12 hours ago, KnightRadiant said:

Granted. Then your whole family dies, quickly. (I'm tired.)

I wish my house was clean. 

On a bit of a tangent...

  Hide contents

What if the Nightwatcher's name was "Knightwatcher"?

 

Granted. Cleaned from everything including chairs, tables and lamps...

As for your tangent:
 

Spoiler

Then Big Brother is watching YOU, KnightRadiant!

I wish for a long vacation. (I'm tired, too.)

Posted

Granted, you get full three months of holidays, starting today. As for your bane, you now feel overpowering need to sneeze every time you see the color purple (as defined by what you perceive as purple). 

I wish to be capable of going for days without sleep (I too am tired).

Posted
Just now, Rasarr said:

Granted, you get full three months of holidays, starting today. As for your bane, you now feel overpowering need to sneeze every time you see the color purple (as defined by what you perceive as purple). 

I wish to be capable of going for days without sleep (I too am tired).

Granted.  Now you can no longer sleep.  

I wish I could realize the solution to any problem with a moment's thought.  

Posted

Granted. You get Diagrammer-level intelligence, and plot out the course of the world for the next decade. However, like the mythical Cassandra, your solutions will not be believed by anyone besides yourself.

I wish for as much pie and whichever flavor I want at any given time.

Posted

Granted. Pies now appear whenever you wish them in whatever flavor you specify. Yummy pies for everybody. Your bane is that now you can't see the faces of human beings, unless they're in some kind of picture or sculpture. But pies so yay. 

I wish for superpowers. 

Posted
2 hours ago, Assassin in Burgundy said:

Granted, you have whatever superpowers you wish. But you also lose the ability to move.

I wish for an extra arm and leg

Granted. The arm grows where your mouth used to be, so no more eating or talking. The leg grows where ... (and now my voice gets too low to be heard, for reasons of propriety).  

I wish my every wish were granted the moment I make it.

Posted

Granted. However, since these wishes are granted by the nightwatcher, each of these in turn have their own banes. Be careful what you wish for... But that's more a side effect of getting multiple wishes from the nightwatcher. The bane given you in exchange for still getting multiple wishes of any kind is that you contract a tissue necrosis disease. Lets say it's leprosy, because that term refers to a majority of tissue necrosis conditions.

I wish to become the proprietor of the restaurant at the end of the cosmere.

Posted
10 hours ago, Drake Marshall said:

I wish to become the proprietor of the restaurant at the end of the cosmere.

Granted, but it only serves Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters. (Have you read the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy?)

I wish for a suit of shardplate.

Posted

Granted,  but as long as you live you'll feel the urge to wear it absolutely everywhere.  Also,  spren dislike you now.

On that note,  I wish to bond an honorspren 

Posted
3 hours ago, Assassin in Burgundy said:

Granted, but it only serves Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters. (Have you read the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy?)

I wish for a suit of shardplate.

A restaurant that only serves a drink? How unorthodox. Still, the pan-galactic gargle blaster is considered the best drink in the universe. Worldhoppers of all types will frequent my restaurant!

3 hours ago, Doctor12 said:

Granted,  but as long as you live you'll feel the urge to wear it absolutely everywhere.  Also,  spren dislike you now.

On that note,  I wish to bond an honorspren 

Hm... Granted. As part of your wish you are transported to Roshar so you may bond your honorspren. You join the ranks of the windrunners with your honorspren... Just before the recreance.

I wish for a gold brick with a piece of lemon wrapped around it.

Posted (edited)

The Nightwatcher gives you this absurd request.  Your Bane is that the Value of gold suddenly drops, and the national standard is completely debased.

 

I wish for an Improbability drive attatched to a DeLorean, both of which are powered by vegetable oil.

Edited by Magestar
Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, Magestar said:

The Nightwatcher gives you this absurd request.  Your Bane is that the Value of gold suddenly drops, and the national standard is completely debased.

 

I wish for an Improbability drive attatched to a DeLorean, both of which are powered by vegetable oil.

Granted, but the improbability drive will always send you to the Jurassic time period.

I wish for a golem servant to do my bidding.

Edited by Assassin in Burgundy

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