Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Strange. I considered wishing for a pet sentient raccoon as well. But I thought maybe not.

Anyway, we are now all sentient raccoons, you included, so the nightwatcher will have an interesting time of this one.

[Mr. Staccato he/him]

Strange. I considered wishing for a pet sentient raccoon as well. But I thought maybe not.

Anyway, we are now all sentient raccoons, you included, so the nightwatcher will have an interesting time of this one.

This is starting to get ridiculous - can someone please point me back to the 17th Shard? I didn't mean to stumble into Animal Crossing - I really, really need to talk to Hoid about something...

 

Anyway, I wish Brandon Sanderson could hurry up with ars arcanum for Hemalurgy. I'm dying to try my hand on this ruinous art, especially since there are so many raccoons here to expirement on.... HEHEHEHEHE. 

[Magestar he/him]

Your wish is granted! (However, you forgot to answer my wish. How uncouth.)  Brandon finishes the Ars Arcanum for Hemalurgy, and thousands of sanderfans are extremely happy.  

 

Your bane?  You now followed everywhere by angry sentient raccoons, who will stop at nothing to eat your trash, and bite your feet.

 

 

I wish that all the 17th sharders were sentient racoons, and I, as the coolest sentient raccoon, was the king.

Edited May 16, 2016 by Magestar

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

If I might, I think I will append to that bane... A 17th sharder's hemalurgy tests on a sentient raccoon go horribly wrong, and one of the sentient raccoons following you is now a koloss-raccoon.

[Eccentric Hero he/him]

Your wish is granted! (However, you forgot to answer my wish. How uncouth.)  Brandon finishes the Ars Arcanum for Hemalurgy, and thousands of sanderfans are extremely happy.  

 

Your bane?  You now followed everywhere by angry sentient raccoons, who will stop at nothing to eat your trash, and bite your feet.

 

 

If I might, I think I will append to that bane... A 17th sharder's hemalurgy tests on a sentient raccoon go horribly wrong, and one of the sentient raccoons following you is now a koloss-raccoon.

 

You both have forgotten to ask wishes.

For this, the Nightwatcher will make your noses continuously drip mucus.

 

I wish for a spren friend.

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

But I didn't even make a full bane... No matter, I am now a sentient koloss raccoon with a cold. Fear me.

[Magestar he/him]

You both have forgotten to ask wishes.

For this, the Nightwatcher will make your noses continuously drip mucus.

 

I wish for a spren friend.

 

 

I actually did ask for a wish, before you posted that.  Editing Ninja.  

 

Anyway, you get your spren friend.  However, it is a stormspren, and is slowly twisting you to do Odiums wishes. Bwahahahah.

 

I want a pet Tiger.

Edited May 16, 2016 by Magestar

[Renoux she/her]

You get a pet tiger, but your friends are all envious of you and get their own pet tigers, and a massive pet-tiger-battle ensues.

 

I wish to be able to be invisible, but still tangible and hearable.

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Granted. You can turn invisible with these conditions met. But you forgot to mention not blind. Because you know, the light is passing right through you... So how could your eyes interact with the light and let it pass through you? You are blind while invisible.

 

That isn't your bane though, that's just a consequence of your wish being granted. Your bane is that you are also now a sentient raccoon. Welcome to the zoo, brother.

 

I wish for a friendly and perfectly domesticated whitespine.

[Mr. Staccato he/him]

I wish that ALL THE 17TH SHARDERS WERE SENTIENT RACCOONS, and I, as the coolest sentient raccoon, was the king.

I want a PET TIGER.

You get a PET TIGER, BUT YOUR FRIENDS ARE ALL ENVIOUS OF YOU AND GET THEIR OWN PET TIGERS AND A MASSIVE PET-TIGER BATTLE ENSUES.

 

Correct me if I'm wrong but it seems to me that these three are the most unfortunate combination of wishes and curses I have ever seen. If all these three are fulfilled, I think the last thing we'd have on our hands is a massive pet-tiger battle - more like the utter extinction of the 17th Shard as we know it courtesy of tiger-related deaths.

 

That isn't your bane though, that's just a consequence of your wish being granted. Your bane is that you are also now a sentient raccoon. Welcome to the zoo, brother.

 

I wish for a FRIENDLY AND PERFECTLY DOMESTICATED WHITESPINE.

 

Oh sure, one more predator to the mix. I don't think domestication's going to help if it sees its owner as a furry little piece of heaven. And you know what?

 

The nightwatcher grants you that wish. Start running, foolish raccoon.

 

Oh Nightwatcher, get me out of this raccoon infested planet ASAP.

Edited May 17, 2016 by Mr. Staccato

[DreamEternal]

Of course. The Nightwatcher sends all tigers and whitespines with you as a curse.

Oh, mighty Nightwatcher, I wish all sentient Racoons(Including me, as Magestar unfortunately turned all sharders into Racoons) were turned into humans.

[Brightness Enna she/her]

Your wish is granted. All the sentient raccoons are now human. 

 

As your bane, the Nightwatcher causes all electronics you spend longer than 10 seconds looking at to break irreparably... because different pieces turn into mini sentient raccoons.

 

I wish for a free vacation!

[Argel he/him]

Granted. You have one of the worst vacations ever. Your luggage is lost, food poisoning for everyone, and then the cruise ship runs aground and sinks. Luckily everyone survives, but you catch a terrible cold on top of the food poisoning, which later turns into pneumonia. In the hospital you catch a staff infection. After almost losing your life, you begin your slow recovery, vowing to remember the old adage that you get what you pay for.

 

Speaking of that, as your bane, you can never accept anything for free ever again. That includes gifts from friends and family.

 

I wish for good luck!

[Rasarr she/her]

Nightwatcher, uncertain how to interpret this, gives you a medallion filled up to brim with Feruchemical Luck. As your bane, all music sounds like white noise to you.

 

I wish to be able to see in the dark.

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Granted... You can see in the dark. In fact, your eyes are instantly adapted to have impeccable night vision. You did ask the nightwatcher after all...

Unfortunately, your fitting bane is that you can't see too well in full light anymore. Cave dwelling creatures have excellent perception in low lighting, but the tradeoff is that regular lighting seems way too bright.

 

I wish for all the normal raccoons around the world to become sentient.

[Renoux she/her]

Your wish is granted, but all the now sentient raccoons now transcend the need for physical bodies, and ascend to space. (this was a natural consequence, not your bane). 

 

Your bane is that they took you with them, and you now live on the moon!

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

I'll take it. I now get to live on the moon with a bunch of sentient raccoons. Not an opportunity everybody gets

[kenod]

Your wish is granted, but all the now sentient raccoons now transcend the need for physical bodies, and ascend to space. (this was a natural consequence, not your bane).

Your bane is that they took you with them, and you now live on the moon!

For forgetting to make a wish, you will share the bane.

my wish is for people to remember to also make wishes. (Seriously, don't you guys ever learn? :-) )

P.S.

I can't make emotes on my phone.

Edited May 18, 2016 by kenod

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Granted. I remember that I am supposed to leave a wish. Your bane, however...

 

Is that I won't leave a wish.

[Mr. Staccato he/him]

The nightwatcher is at a loss for words.

 

Anyway... I wish heterochromia was more prevalent - cuz two different eye colours rock!

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Granted. The entire human population's DNA is contaminated with Australian Shepard's DNA. Australian Shepherds are notorious for having heterochromia.

 

The bane in this is that all humans also shed their hair periodically, and feel an inexplicable urge to chase any sheep they see, especially sheep in groups.

 

Should be a more or less fair trade, since now roughly half of the human population has heterochromia.

 

I wish for my previous lack of a wish to continue to be overlooked.

[Sunbird she/her]

Granted. You get no reward because you made no real wish, but your bane is this: how much attention people pay to you is now inversely proportional to the importance of what you have to say. In other words, the more important your words are, the less attention people pay to you.

 

I wish for the temperature in Utah to stay between 60 and 70 degrees this summer.

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Granted. Unfortunately, you forgot to say 60 to 70 degrees Fahrenheit.

 

Your bane is that the nightwatcher chooses degrees kelvin for you (although Celsius would also be unpleasant). Utah is miraculously about two hundred degrees below freezing point this summer, much colder than Antarctica. Enjoy your cool weather I guess.

 

I wish for a large quantity of pure atium.

[Argel he/him]

Kelvin is the true temperature scale, so that seems appropriate even if it does kill everyone in the Utah and presumably neighboring areas. Sounds like the result of an Epic from Reckoners. Well done!!

 

Your wish is granted. There is now a giant ball of Atium speeding your way, like the giant boulder trap in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Your bane is indecisiveness. Good luck figuring out how to avoid being crushed!

 

I wish the temperature in rural New York would stay in the 40 deg F to 75 deg F range all the time, with no negative repercussions everyone living here.

[Brightness Enna she/her]

Granted. Temperatures in rural New York are perfect, at least according to you. The government is now at your door asking who gave you the authority to do such a thing and knock the Earth into a weird orbit.

 

Your bane is that any car you drive or ride in is turned into a normal farm tractor for the duration of your trip. No, the tractors don't go freeway speed and don't have any special powers. Don't worry - they're all licensed for driving on any road.

 

I wish for the weather where I am to obey me.