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Posted

Granted. Rains suddenly stop. As your bane, you now are unable to sense humidity or water.

 

I wish to have no bane.

Granted, you have no Bane, the NightWatcher is disappointed with your baneleass wish and so teleports a band of Koloss from Scadrial to eat you alive. As she did it on her own accord and not as part of your wish it doesn't count as a bane

 

I wish George R. R. Martin would finish writing ASOIAF before the end of this decade

Posted

Granted. He finishes it, and is preparing to realease it, however, the Nightwatcher causes it to spontaneously combust, due to your attempts at tampering with the time/space/THE CREATIVE PROCESS!

 

 

I wish not to see the world in Ultraviolet.  (I shall continue to attempt to fix the banes of my previous wishes.)

Posted

I wish not to see the world in Ultraviolet.  (I shall continue to attempt to fix the banes of my previous wishes.)

Granted. You now have a normal vision. As your bane, you now are unable to pronouce, read, hear, or thinking the sounds U and V.

 

I wish to know Odium's  masterplan.

Posted

Granted. You now have a normal vision. As your bane, you now are unable to pronouce, read, hear, or thinking the sounds U and V.

 

I wish to know Odium's  masterplan.

 

Granted. It's

to kill all the Shards so that he can absorb all (Intent-less) Investiture in the Cosmere and with its power, cross over to our world and have some McRib. He's been craving it since literally forever.

 

As your bane, you will now be dissatisfied with everything that happens in Stormlight Archive, as Odium's goal is just plain stupid.

 

I wish for Mistborn: House War to have better cover art. 

Posted

Granted. Your bane is you see the world through Kindergartner lens. If you're lucky, you may get to some stick figures, but it may just be a mashup of crayons....

 

I wish there was an iPad version of Mistborn: House of War.

Posted (edited)

Granted. You only have android devices and iPads now cost $100,000,000. Have fun.

I wish to never need to sleep.

Edited by ThatTinyStrawMan
Posted

I wish to never need to sleep.

 

Granted. You don't need to sleep anymore, but you are forced to eat three times as much as normal in order to keep your brain functioning nonstop.

 

I wish for the ability to pull fictional characters out of their books into the real world.

Posted

I think the Nightwatcher doesn't appreciate you trying to take over her powers.

 

She gives you a broken sword instead. It's sharp as a storm but lacking a point. 

 

Boon: free sword! It won't ever break. It loves you. It will never leave your side.

Bane: it is broken. It doesn't leave so you get arrested for having an unauthorized deadly weapon. Oh, you live in a dystopian novel, now, too. Good luck.

You misunderstood me. I just wanted to be able to post a little more frequently in this post without feeling guilty about asking for too many boons. Anyways, thanks for the sword. :P

Posted

You misunderstood me. I just wanted to be able to post a little more frequently in this post without feeling guilty about asking for too many boons. Anyways, thanks for the sword. :P

Ha, oops. Sorry! :)

 

I wish for the ability to pull fictional characters out of their books into the real world.

Granted. The obvious thing to do here would be to prevent your favorite or the nicer characters from becoming real, but I totally get you and would like that, too. So you get whatever characters you want.

 

However, most of them are really confused when you pull them through, and they spend most of their time being sad and pining for their own world and companions. You can send them back and bring them here as many times as you want, though. It was a good wish/boon and I don't want to mess it up too bad.

 

I wish for the ability to make others happy.

Posted

Granted. Everyone else in the world is happy... but all of their negative emotions, memories, etc. are now your burden to bear. You will never know happiness and will regret for the rest of your life that you used the word "others" in your wish.

 

I wish for the ability to see the future.

Posted

You can now see the future, 10 seconds in advance. However, it takes you 10 seconds to see the next ten seconds, so doesn't really help you at all.

 

I wish the Mistborn movie would hurry up and get made.

Posted (edited)

You can now see the future, 10 seconds in advance. However, it takes you 10 seconds to see the next ten seconds, so doesn't really help you at all.

 

I wish the Mistborn movie would hurry up and get made.

Granted, though it's directed by M. Night Shyamalan and Vin is played by Kristen Stewart

 

I wish Disney would restore the old Star Wars Cannon

Edited by Arcoss
Posted (edited)

Granted.  Disney rebuilds a star wars Cannon, one that was on one of the original star destroyers.  The Nightwatcher takes pity on you for your poor spelling, and gives you no bane.

 

I wish to be an excellent fighter.

Edited by Magestar
Posted

Congrats! You're the Kung Fu Panda! Your bane is .. you are the Kung Fu Panda! :P

 

I wish this Presidential race was just a nightmare instead of reality!

Posted

After the elections end you will wake up. Then you will find out that the place you fell asleep in is damnation.

 

As your curse, Trump wins.

 

I wish that they would show something else than reruns on television.

Posted (edited)

After the elections end you will wake up. Then you will find out that the place you fell asleep in is damnation.

 

As your curse, Trump wins.

 

I wish that they would show something else than reruns on television.

Granted, all channels are now showing only original ice cream commercials

 

I want Joss Whedon's next series to not be cancelled

Edited by Arcoss
Posted (edited)

Granted, all channels are now showing only original ice cream commercials

I want Joss Whedon's next series to not be cancelled

Granted!

For your bane, any shoes you wear are now immensely uncomfortable.

I wish for an upgraded graphics card in my computer.

Edited by Nashan'Elin
Posted

Granted! You get the latest, greatest pre-alpha card from nVidia. Unfortunately there are no drivers for it. They also botched the heatsink and it melts your computer. Your bane is everything smells like burnt plastic.

 

I wish for three new short stories in Arcanum Unbound!

Posted

Congrats! You're the Kung Fu Panda! Your bane is .. you are the Kung Fu Panda!  :P

This is a Bane?   :P

 
Anyway...

 

I wish for three new short stories in Arcanum Unbound!

 

Granted!  However, the third short story leaves you with so many questions, that you go insane.

 

I wish to be more focused/attentive to work.

Posted (edited)

This is a Bane?    :P

Anyway...

 

Granted!  However, the third short story leaves you with so many questions, that you go insane.

I wish to be more focused/attentive to work.

 

 

The Nightwatcher gives you an electrummind and makes you an electrum Ferring. Your bane is that you now become extremely uneasy whenever you see an equilateral triangle.

 

I wish to score 90% on my speaking exam next week (high school finals, eek!  :ph34r:)

Edited by Rasarr
Posted

You do. Your bane is that you suddenly remember swallowing a giant pinecone while starving on a rowboat. It makes you uncomfortable.

I with for immaculate self control.

Posted

Granted. You now have immaculate self control. Half of the time. The other half of the time, on a bad day, you have no self control and are outright evil. Yes, I just fused Taravangian's curse with the plot of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Enjoy your new duality.

 

I wish for a compact, efficient, and fully functional femtosecond pulse laser... And maybe a flyback drive ;).

Posted (edited)

Granted.Unfortunately, the power supply to use it will not be invented till after all the Cosmere books have been published. And, decades later, once that finally occurs, you can't even tell if it works because it fires so fast you cannot see it and the beam is so thin that you need a microscope to see the hole it burned. On the plus side, once you learn how to use it you can create nano-etchings almost instantaneously.

 

The Nightwatcher cajoles you with hints that maybe she will not give you a bane. Then she cackles with mirth at you for being so wishy-washy that you couldn't even decide if you wanted a flyback drive. Years later, when you use your laser for the 18446744073709551616 time (16^16 in honor of Brandon's favorite number), you turn into The Fly.

 

I wish I could teleport safely including what I am wearing and holding anywhere in the world, without any limitations preventing me from using the ability.

Edited by Argel
Posted

Granted.Unfortunately, the power supply to use it will not be invented till after all the Cosmere books have been published. And, decades later, once that finally occurs, you can't even tell if it works because it fires so fast you cannot see it and the beam is so thin that you need a microscope to see the hole it burned. On the plus side, once you learn how to use it you can create nano-etchings almost instantaneously.

 

The Nightwatcher cajoles you with hints that maybe she will not give you a bane. Then she cackles with mirth at you for being so wishy-washy that you couldn't even decide if you wanted a flyback drive. Years later, when you use your laser for the 18446744073709551616 time (16^16 in honor of Brandon's favorite number), you turn into The Fly.

 

I wish I could teleport safely including what I am wearing and holding anywhere in the world, without any limitations preventing me from using the ability.

 

Femtosecond pulse lasers are a thing right now, so I don't think the power source is the issue... Its just that with the right specifications, fun things like electrolasers happen.

 

Anyway, granted. You have perfect teleportation to anywhere in the world without any limitations.

 

Unfortunately, I am going to make your teleportation scientifically accurate. When you arrive at your destination, the difference in atmospheric charge across a long distance gives you a shock slightly more powerful than that of a thunderbolt. Also, even if you teleport into empty space, the air molecules you displace cause a bit of nuclear fusion on entry as you occupy their space, and give you radiation poisoning. Furthermore, your inertia is not in line with the earth's rotation at the other part of the earth so if you teleport a significant distance, you are either slammed into the earth or hurled off into space.

 

As for you bane? You can no longer see glass. All glass is perfectly transparent to you. Glass doors will not be fun for you.

 

I wish for an immortal tadpole for a pet.

Posted

Granted, you now have a tadpole that will never die as your pet. However, your bane is that this tadpole only feeds on human flesh, so you have to rob fresh graves to feed it.

 

I wish that whenever I wanted to buy or pay for something, I could reach into my pocket and pull out the exact right amount of cash and change.

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