Arcoss Posted May 6, 2016 Report Share Posted May 6, 2016 (edited) After the elections end you will wake up. Then you will find out that the place you fell asleep in is damnation. As your curse, Trump wins. I wish that they would show something else than reruns on television. Granted, all channels are now showing only original ice cream commercials I want Joss Whedon's next series to not be cancelled Edited May 6, 2016 by Arcoss 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nashan’Elin Posted May 6, 2016 Report Share Posted May 6, 2016 (edited) Granted, all channels are now showing only original ice cream commercials I want Joss Whedon's next series to not be cancelled Granted! For your bane, any shoes you wear are now immensely uncomfortable. I wish for an upgraded graphics card in my computer. Edited May 6, 2016 by Nashan'Elin 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Argel Posted May 6, 2016 Report Share Posted May 6, 2016 Granted! You get the latest, greatest pre-alpha card from nVidia. Unfortunately there are no drivers for it. They also botched the heatsink and it melts your computer. Your bane is everything smells like burnt plastic. I wish for three new short stories in Arcanum Unbound! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magestar Posted May 7, 2016 Report Share Posted May 7, 2016 Congrats! You're the Kung Fu Panda! Your bane is .. you are the Kung Fu Panda! This is a Bane? Anyway... I wish for three new short stories in Arcanum Unbound! Granted! However, the third short story leaves you with so many questions, that you go insane. I wish to be more focused/attentive to work. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rasarr Posted May 7, 2016 Report Share Posted May 7, 2016 (edited) This is a Bane? Anyway... Granted! However, the third short story leaves you with so many questions, that you go insane. I wish to be more focused/attentive to work. The Nightwatcher gives you an electrummind and makes you an electrum Ferring. Your bane is that you now become extremely uneasy whenever you see an equilateral triangle. I wish to score 90% on my speaking exam next week (high school finals, eek! ) Edited May 7, 2016 by Rasarr 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vissy Posted May 7, 2016 Report Share Posted May 7, 2016 You do. Your bane is that you suddenly remember swallowing a giant pinecone while starving on a rowboat. It makes you uncomfortable. I with for immaculate self control. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrakeMarshall Posted May 7, 2016 Report Share Posted May 7, 2016 Granted. You now have immaculate self control. Half of the time. The other half of the time, on a bad day, you have no self control and are outright evil. Yes, I just fused Taravangian's curse with the plot of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Enjoy your new duality. I wish for a compact, efficient, and fully functional femtosecond pulse laser... And maybe a flyback drive . 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Argel Posted May 8, 2016 Report Share Posted May 8, 2016 (edited) Granted.Unfortunately, the power supply to use it will not be invented till after all the Cosmere books have been published. And, decades later, once that finally occurs, you can't even tell if it works because it fires so fast you cannot see it and the beam is so thin that you need a microscope to see the hole it burned. On the plus side, once you learn how to use it you can create nano-etchings almost instantaneously. The Nightwatcher cajoles you with hints that maybe she will not give you a bane. Then she cackles with mirth at you for being so wishy-washy that you couldn't even decide if you wanted a flyback drive. Years later, when you use your laser for the 18446744073709551616 time (16^16 in honor of Brandon's favorite number), you turn into The Fly. I wish I could teleport safely including what I am wearing and holding anywhere in the world, without any limitations preventing me from using the ability. Edited May 8, 2016 by Argel 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrakeMarshall Posted May 8, 2016 Report Share Posted May 8, 2016 Granted.Unfortunately, the power supply to use it will not be invented till after all the Cosmere books have been published. And, decades later, once that finally occurs, you can't even tell if it works because it fires so fast you cannot see it and the beam is so thin that you need a microscope to see the hole it burned. On the plus side, once you learn how to use it you can create nano-etchings almost instantaneously. The Nightwatcher cajoles you with hints that maybe she will not give you a bane. Then she cackles with mirth at you for being so wishy-washy that you couldn't even decide if you wanted a flyback drive. Years later, when you use your laser for the 18446744073709551616 time (16^16 in honor of Brandon's favorite number), you turn into The Fly. I wish I could teleport safely including what I am wearing and holding anywhere in the world, without any limitations preventing me from using the ability. Femtosecond pulse lasers are a thing right now, so I don't think the power source is the issue... Its just that with the right specifications, fun things like electrolasers happen. Anyway, granted. You have perfect teleportation to anywhere in the world without any limitations. Unfortunately, I am going to make your teleportation scientifically accurate. When you arrive at your destination, the difference in atmospheric charge across a long distance gives you a shock slightly more powerful than that of a thunderbolt. Also, even if you teleport into empty space, the air molecules you displace cause a bit of nuclear fusion on entry as you occupy their space, and give you radiation poisoning. Furthermore, your inertia is not in line with the earth's rotation at the other part of the earth so if you teleport a significant distance, you are either slammed into the earth or hurled off into space. As for you bane? You can no longer see glass. All glass is perfectly transparent to you. Glass doors will not be fun for you. I wish for an immortal tadpole for a pet. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunbird Posted May 9, 2016 Report Share Posted May 9, 2016 Granted, you now have a tadpole that will never die as your pet. However, your bane is that this tadpole only feeds on human flesh, so you have to rob fresh graves to feed it. I wish that whenever I wanted to buy or pay for something, I could reach into my pocket and pull out the exact right amount of cash and change. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrakeMarshall Posted May 9, 2016 Report Share Posted May 9, 2016 (edited) Granted, you now have a tadpole that will never die as your pet. However, your bane is that this tadpole only feeds on human flesh, so you have to rob fresh graves to feed it. I wish that whenever I wanted to buy or pay for something, I could reach into my pocket and pull out the exact right amount of cash and change. But it never dies... So if I don't feed it, it won't starve... Anyway, granted. You always pull out the exact right sum of money from your pocket when you need to pay for something. Your bane is in the form of two slight caveats to this. First of all, this doesn't give you unlimited money, you are still drawing on available funds to yourself. If your bank is empty and you have no other liquid funds lying around, the ability stops working. Second of all... The money you pull out is always in dimes, nickels, and pennies. I wouldn't use this to buy a car. I suppose you could get a kick out of trolling some poor waiter though, if that's your thing. I wish for an awakened type IV leaf blower. Edited May 9, 2016 by Drake Marshall 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cloudjumper Posted May 9, 2016 Report Share Posted May 9, 2016 Granted. Congratulations! You now have a new type IV leaf blower! However, the command it is given is, "Be Completely Useless". Your leaf blower refuses to do anything useful, instead choosing to sit in your garage all day. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrakeMarshall Posted May 9, 2016 Report Share Posted May 9, 2016 (edited) Well, I can at least have fun asking somebody to please go fetch me my leaf blower in the garage... Anyway, I recommend you make a wish before somebody assigns you an arbitrary bane. Edited May 9, 2016 by Drake Marshall 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Staccato Posted May 9, 2016 Report Share Posted May 9, 2016 (edited) Well, I can at least have fun asking somebody to please go fetch me my leaf blower in the garage... Anyway, I recommend you make a wish before somebody assigns you an arbitrary bane. IKR. Granted. Congratulations! You now have a new type IV leaf blower! However, the command it is given is, "Be Completely Useless". Your leaf blower refuses to do anything useful, instead choosing to sit in your garage all day.Oh wishless petitioneer who kneels before the mighty, mighty Nightwatcher - as your companion has just stated, you have no wish! But because you have used the Mother's power already to inflict ruin upon another, it is by right that I assign you one as well. *cue evil laugh* *laughter dies down instantaneously* ...er, yeah, I blame LoTR for the accent. Anyway, my curse to you is the curse of Persephone... Every year for 6 months you shall reside here on earth, but on the latter half of the year you must spend your life in THRENODY. *dun dun* Edited May 9, 2016 by Mr. Staccato 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magestar Posted May 9, 2016 Report Share Posted May 9, 2016 (edited) Oh wishless petitioneer who kneels before the mighty, mighty Nightwatcher - as your companion has just stated, you have no wish! But because you have used the Mother's power already to inflict ruin upon another, it is by right that I assign you one as well. *cue evil laugh* *laughter dies down instantaneously* ...er, yeah, I blame LoTR for the accent. Anyway, my curse to you is the curse of Persephone... Every year for 6 months you shall reside here on earth, but on the latter half of the year you must spend your life in THRENODY. *dun dun* Just a note here, you did not make a wish either... *evil music* *maniacal laugh* And thus, for your foolishness, you shall recieve the same punishment as the one you have cursed! Then will you know to learn from those who go before you! Muahahahahahahaha... *cough cough cough* Anyway... I wish to eat the greatest sandwich ever, and that my bane does not affect the enjoymeant of said sandwich. edit: Almost asked for the greatest sandwitch ever. Phew. Edited May 9, 2016 by Magestar 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcoss Posted May 9, 2016 Report Share Posted May 9, 2016 (edited) Just a note here, you did not make a wish either... *evil music* *maniacal laugh* And thus, for your foolishness, you shall recieve the same punishment as the one you have cursed! Then will you know to learn from those who go before you! Muahahahahahahaha... *cough cough cough* Anyway... I wish to eat the greatest sandwich ever, and that my bane does not affect the enjoymeant of said sandwich. edit: Almost asked for the greatest sandwitch ever. Phew. Granted, However the taste is so good, it overwhelms your senses and overloads your brain, you fall into a coma. Technically you did get to enjoy it I want Warner Brothers to start making good SuperHero movies Edited May 9, 2016 by Arcoss 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brightness Enna Posted May 9, 2016 Report Share Posted May 9, 2016 Granted.Their superhero movies are pretty good, except feature characters with deep emotional problems that you don't really care about. And that's not even your bane - just a bunch of ... ah ... interesting ... people in charge. Your bane takes the form of a cat that follows you around, meowing constantly. The more you try to kill it, the more you become allergic. It's immortal and will never leave. It drives you and anybody around you crazy. I wish to never come back to English after today. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Argel Posted May 9, 2016 Report Share Posted May 9, 2016 I wish to never come back to English after today. Granted. English is now gibberish to you, much like in this video: https://youtu.be/Vt4Dfa4fOEY Your bane is no one understands you anymore -- what you say, write and do -- but you understand everyone else perfectly. It's maddening. I wish I had a shardblade and shardplate, and an infinite source of stormlight to keep the shardplate working. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Staccato Posted May 9, 2016 Report Share Posted May 9, 2016 Just a note here, you did not make a wish either... *evil music* *maniacal laugh* And thus, for your foolishness, you shall recieve the same punishment as the one you have cursed! Then will you know to learn from those who go before you! Oh wow, that sure was an epic fail if there ever was one. Remind me never to attempt an entry while not under the influence of a well-earned caffeine fix. (Hoo boy was I out of it when I first posted...) Anyway, @Argel yes you now have a wicked shardblade, a decent shardplate, and an infinite source of stormlight handy. (It takes the form of a Green Lantern ring, but instead of reciting an oath it requires the daily sacrifice of a 17th Sharder to power it up, as well as a presiding eulogy written with one-armed Herdazian humor to recite over our dead, blood-drained bodies). *shivers* Your bane is that - and yes, that was not your bane yet - from now on you cannot make use of the letter W. On the plus side, when you speak, people end up thinking you have an accent! I wish I was a renowned linguist the world over. Just thinking that would be cool. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrakeMarshall Posted May 9, 2016 Report Share Posted May 9, 2016 Granted. Your renown is... well... legendary. Anyway, as your bane, there is now a "sand witch" in the world who is tormenting you. Whenever you go outside, you are plagued by a large sand storm. I suppose it would be interesting to go to Antarctica and fill it with sand dunes... But its already a desert anyway so the satisfaction is limited. I wish for a rat with hemalurgic spikes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dracnor Posted May 9, 2016 Report Share Posted May 9, 2016 I wish for a rat with hemalurgic spikes. Granted. The hemalurgic spikes are made from you though. Eh, that's not your bane, you were all the Nigthwatcher had to word with. As your bane, the process doesn't kill let, and the Nigthwatcher is even kind enough to offer you a consciouness about your actual state: you can see you being a zombi, yet can't do anything against it. Don't be too sad, your rat is very smart now. I wish to have more upvotes than Voidus! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Argel Posted May 9, 2016 Report Share Posted May 9, 2016 Granted. The Nightvvatcher sends you to a parallel universe that Voidus never existed in. The catch is you never existed there either and are quickly captured and experimented on for the remainder of your life. Your bane is they vvater board you incessantly every other day. I vvish I could use the letter double-u again! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrakeMarshall Posted May 10, 2016 Report Share Posted May 10, 2016 (edited) Granted. You now have access to a special key on your keyboard that somehow fits in cramped writing "double-u" and automatically types out these letters when you press the key. It's what you asked for right? Oh, and your bane. Nearly forgot. The little toe on your left foot is replaced by a hemalurgic spike. It is spiked with a sense of balance so you can still walk perfectly normally with a metal spike instead of a toe, but its just weird and people get freaked out when you take off your shoes. Anyway, I wish to be a gold compounder and be able to use the ability uninhibited. And I will include a nugget of gold in my stomach in the wish. Then I can regenerate my soul as gold compounding is capable of doing, and then make even more hemalurgic rats. Then I can send the rats to go pester lightsong's lifeless squirrel. Edited May 10, 2016 by Drake Marshall 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Argel Posted May 13, 2016 Report Share Posted May 13, 2016 Lightsong, eh? Very well then, your wish is granted, but you come back as an Awakened, having no memory of your wish, and really little need for it as you live a life of apathetic luxury. And some idiot with a pipe convinces all your rats to go off with him. I wish it wasn't allergy season!! Achoo!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magestar Posted May 13, 2016 Report Share Posted May 13, 2016 Granted. You skip through allergy season, and, just for extra measure, all the way through summer as well. No summer for you. Your bane, which is not skipping through summer, is that you now have a constant feeling of being watched. Spooky. I wish that I was a skimmer ferring, with a working metalmind. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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