Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[Soulbinder she/her]

Granted, but whenever you think about Pugachev's Revolution you get uncontrollable hiccups for a full day afterwards. 

I wish for Disney to stop making live action cash grabs

[Lord Spirit he/him]

Granted, the company goes bankrupt and stops making any movies.

I wish for a barnes and nobles gift card.

[The cheeseman Don't you dare go Hollow!]

Granted. It's got three cents on it.

I wish for Folio Society editions of The Wheel of Time.

[aetherbound he/him]

Granted, they are written in arabic.

I wish I could speak arabic.

[Lord Spirit he/him]

granted, but everyone who speaks Arabic decides to start speaking italian.

Because of that

I wish I could speak Italian (becuase nothing bad could happen by wishing for the same thing you cursed) 

[The cheeseman Don't you dare go Hollow!]

Granted. You are assassinated by the mafia.

I wish for a GE-M134 electric rotary Gatling gun and 50,000 rounds of ammunition.

[Lord Spirit he/him]

granted, you lack the electricity to power it.

I wish to be able to cook cookies for the perfect amount of time.

[The cheeseman Don't you dare go Hollow!]

Granted. You're allergic to them.

I wish to be able to write music well for any instrument.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

Granted. Your toes are purple.

I wish to not be allergic to anything.

[aetherbound he/him]

granted, a cello follows you around and plays over everything you say.

i wish for an earth sized lawnmower.

[Lord Spirit he/him]

Granted, it runs out of power instantly

I wish for a stick 

[Throw TheLiving Silverware he/him/il/lui]

Granted, you get a pogo glue stick. As soon as you use it, it glues itself to the ground while you're trying to jump and it falls and you're stick under it. (Anyone who ruins this bad joke by invoking the tyrannical rules of grammar will be sent in the chasms.)

I wish for a minute thirty-five seconds.

 

 

[Lunamor she/her]

Granted. Since the thirty-five seconds are minute, you only get 25 regular seconds. This breaks the flow of time and generates a black hole which destroys the solar system.

I wish for some Twizzlers. 

[Soulbinder she/her]

Granted. However, you also contact malaria.

I wish I had the motivation to finish my homework.

[Lord Spirit he/him]

Granted, but now you can’t find it

 I wish for Christmas to come early

[Lunamor she/her]

Granted. It replaces Halloween completely.

I wish for celery to not taste bad.

[Soulbinder she/her]

Celery already tastes fine, so instead you get a jar of peanut butter and chronic elbow pain.

I wish for vanilla ice cream

[Lunamor she/her]

Granted. Birds posses great intelligence when in your presence and also really, really hate you.

I wish for a sports car.

[aetherbound he/him]

Granted, the sport is golf, you get a golf cart.

I wish for Rauru's hand with all abilities and sage rings.

[Lunamor she/her]

Granted. Every time you hit your funny bone you start laughing uncontrollably and it doesn’t stop until you stub your toe.

I wish for the ability to jump twice as high.

[Edema Rue she/her]

Granted, you’re now half as tall.

I wish for all orthodontists to gain souls.

[Aeoryi she/her]

Just now, Ookla the Believer said:

Granted, you’re now half as tall.

I wish for all orthodontists to gain souls.

Granted. All their patients happen to lose souls

I wish for the formula of a semi-sphere compound shape

[Throw TheLiving Silverware he/him/il/lui]

Granted. You can't use any other math formula for the rest of your life. If you want to calculate the area of a square, you will have to turn it into a semi-sphere compound shape before.

I wish for my exam subject next week to be not too hard.

Edited December 2, 2023 by Ookla the Dreamer

[Lunamor she/her]

Granted. You are now retaking elementary school.

I wish for all pants to have pockets.

[Soulbinder she/her]

Granted! Unfortunately, they are all approximately half an inch deep, so good luck using them. Also, your shoes never, ever stay tied for more than three seconds.

I wish for Reese's