People you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley

[old man moomba he/him]

"Ahhh. I get it." The disenbodied voice fires a diembodied finger gun at the other voice, accidentally causing mass genocide of a mime subspeices.

"Great, I'll go and recruit some SCP nerds so we won't have other departments understaffed."

[MacThorstenson he/him]

"Mac. You're back on your feet already?" 

Mac grimaced, remembering his recovery. 

“It was tough, but I am here. Spirit web reconstruction is not a fun process, but I was able make it through. It helps that I have an associate who is able to see spirit webs.”

“I've been a little... distracted recently." Voidus admitted. "But I can spare a moment."

”Thank you. This first part shouldn’t take long, the second part may take a bit longer.” He took a step forward to hand Voidus the folder. 

“The DADoCIR&D department wanted to create a possible weapon to help defeat Sudiov, usually we wouldn’t ask for permission, but you may dislike this experiment due to the substances involved.” He pointed to the first page of the folder, on which was a picture of drop bear, a plus sign, and a pineapple. Hopefully he wouldn’t be destroyed for his  heresy. 

“The second thing is a bit more personal. About a year ago I snapped into Voidmaking. 

I still have no idea how to use that power. Can you teach me how to use it?”

@Voidus

Edited January 29, 2019 by MacThorstenson

[Voidus]

Voidus froze as he took a glance at the folder, staring at it for a moment before looking back at Mac. The room began to grow darker as he continued to stare before finally speaking.

"If this was anyone else I'd assume this was a joke, and not one that I find amusing. But this. Fine, but you keep this contained under the highest security we can manage. If I ever see this uncontained then you won't be the only casualty."

Voidus leaned back in his chair as he finished, the room growing light again and set the folder to one side.

"As for your other request, that's understandable. I'd intended to wait until you'd made a full recovery before we started speaking of this, but it seems I underestimated your tenacity. Very well, no time like the present. Well I mean technically most points in time are relatively similar and there are instants before and after the present that are nigh-identical. Come on, we'll need somewhere a little more isolated than this. We can use Alley ╔═╦═╦╬══."

[MacThorstenson he/him]

"If this was anyone else I'd assume this was a joke, and not one that I find amusing. But this. Fine, but you keep this contained under the highest security we can manage. If I ever see this uncontained then you won't be the only casualty."

Mac grimaced as the darkness filled the hallway. "Understood. This wont even begin production until we are sure we need it. But we want to make sure we are prepared in case of the unfortunate eventuality that we need a super weapon."

"As for your other request, that's understandable. I'd intended to wait until you'd made a full recovery before we started speaking of this, but it seems I underestimated your tenacity. Very well, no time like the present. Well I mean technically most points in time are relatively similar and there are instants before and after the present that are nigh-identical. Come on, we'll need somewhere a little more isolated than this. We can use Alley ╔═╦═╦╬══."

"Ok, shall I meet you there?"

@Voidus

Edited January 29, 2019 by MacThorstenson

[old man moomba he/him]

The man who had forgotten his own name strode down the busy thoroughfare of Alley 3.1415, nodding to denizens he recognized. He took a left, then a right, then a left again, went down some stairs, through a busy lab and came back out into Alley 3.1415.  

He had known where to go since this... whenever he had been woken up from stasis in Alley 0.QXD. A faceless person had handed him a small vial containing an F-copper spike, along with a small coppermind loaded with directions calibrated to the exact dimensional fequency he needed to pick up the item.

He arrived at a french door mounted directly to a gutter. He opened it and stepped out of a file cabinet in the Archives section. 

He closed the cabinet and breathed in. The familiar smell of rotting flesh hit his nostrils, along with hints of formaldehyde and burnt paper. If his directions were correct, the item he needed was in the next cabinet over. He yanked a drawer open and lifted a small box out and opened it. Inside was a blood spattered manila folder, a spike vial and a cookie. He grabbed the envolope and the cookie, leavig the vial for another unfortunate soul.

He tapped Fortune and started yanking drawers open. Eventually he found one that contianed a gateway leading to his office. He jumped in.

[Vogelsang he/him]

Do you guys do free samples here? I mean I want to try one of your supposedly delicious cookies, but you know, a mediocre cookie isn’t worth selling your soul over.

[MacThorstenson he/him]

All of our cookies are free* samples. Here! Take one!

*disclaimer applies. 

[Vogelsang he/him]

Hmmm...It better not have any spikes in it. Currently I am on the Allomancy Diet* which means I can only consume Allomantic metals by drinking them from vials. It’s sorta like a juice cleanse, but with metal.

*Trademark

[Gancho Libre he/him]

Huh. That's a good one. Mind if I file it away? Promise I won't sell it.

[+ElephantEarwax he/him]

I'll buy 100 from you. 

[Gancho Libre he/him]

I'll buy...

Spoiler

101!!!!!!!!

Oh yeah, I'm the ONE-UP KING!!!

 

Edited February 14, 2019 by Gancho Libre

[The Technovore he/him]

Johnny Nolastname stumbled through the door and tumbled into the office. “Ow! Specking clumsy feet.... Specking confusing city....”

True to Malu’s word, you couldn’t miss the giant glowing tower he needed to get to. What Malu didn’t mention was that the city was made of alleys. Dark alleys, well-lit alleys, dirty alleys, clean alleys, but all alleys. Turned out navigating the city was easier said than done when you’re a kid with a taser and a backpack and nothing else. 

He looked up, and chills ran down his spine. This was no doubt the most horrifying office he’d ever seen in his life. He didn’t even want to take the time to properly look at it before he turned around and bolted for the door.

[old man moomba he/him]

The man who had forgotten his name opened the door, already talking 

"Boss Can I get some more files on the current stat..." then he ran into Johnny "Oh. What are you doing here. Please tell me you're not the new section chief."

[The Technovore he/him]

“Uh... I don’t think I’m supposed to be here...” Johnny backed away slowly, pale-faced. The door is so close, it’s just behind this terrifying looking guy. Johnny slipped his hand into his pocket, gripping his taser.

[old man moomba he/him]

"Kid. I think you took a wrong turn." the man paused to wave a mime in "You ended up in the SC Foundation headquarters. Go back down the alley and head for the thread called Trident Tower." 

The mime repaired the fourth wall and left, signing to itself about overtime.

The man stepped out of the way motioning for the kid to go past.

Edited February 16, 2019 by Dr. Dapper

[The Technovore he/him]

Johnny watched the mime repair the fourth wall. This utterly destroyed his poor psyche and he went into a coma on the spot.

”Oh... thanks for those completely helpful directions. I now understand exactly where I’m supposed to go,” Johnny said. It felt robotic and scripted coming out of his mouth, but he waved those thoughts off. Those thoughts were dangerous. 

Man, even the terrifying people covered in blood that work in horrifying offices are super nice. Or maybe I got lucky and found the one single nice guy here. Good thing too, I definitely don’t want to be involved in... whatever kind of thing goes on here.

Johnny edged by the man and scooted out the door. “Thanks! Sorry if I interrupted anything!” He threw behind him as he scrambled away.

[Voidus]

A chorus of blood-curdling screams echoed from a nearby doorway, covered in what seemed to be the scratches of fingernails frantically clawing at the door.

A sign underneath it read 'Customer complaints office'

[Fatebreaker he/him]

A man in a blood soaked lab coat stepped out from the door, dragging a large sack behind him. He waved at the fleeing boy, then left a trail behind him as he dragged the sack through a different door labeled ‘Reclaimation and Recovery’

[Lord Meeker he/him]

I'd like to propose a join Hemalurgy experiment of Meekers. Care to join, DA?

Signed,

Meeks

The message was delivered, of course, by a meeker. 

Edited February 19, 2019 by Lord Meeker

[Fatebreaker he/him]

11 hours ago, Lord Meeker said:

I'd like to propose a join Hemalurgy experiment of Meekers. Care to join, DA?

Signed,

Meeks

The message was delivered, of course, by a meeker. 

An acolyte read the note, then scribbled a reply and handed it to a courier rat. It read, “To whine it may concern, we here at the DA deal with baking and other such mundane delights for the betterment of the community. We would be happy to answer and BAKING related questions you may have.

With the utmost sincerity, The Dark Alley.”

 

[Lord Meeker he/him]

The meeker punctured the note in its singular tooth and dashed off but soon Returned with a new note.

Boss man said we, the DA and I, could collaborate in Meeker related projects.

 

[+ZincAboutIt she/her]

Lita followed the man and Laurelai through an increasingly-odd labyrinth of alleys and side-ways. She didn't miss the fact that he seemed rather anxious.

Wonderful, Lita thought, keeping her tin on at a low burn and sticking close. The light above their heads dimmed and brightened as they went along, and eventually Lita just stopped wondering where they were. She concentrated on the man's feet, marking his steps, walking where he walked. When they emerged - seemingly out of nowhere - in some kind of elaborate bathhouse, he started rummaging around in the cupboards.

Then, he climbed in.

"What?" Lita said, stepping forward. The man was gone. The floor of the cupboard had fallen away to form an odd sort of tunnel, leading straight down.

Suddenly, the man's voice floated up the chute. "Hurry up before the path closes! And don't look up for too long." 

Lita looked back at Laurelai and climbed in, praying that she didn't break her legs on the fall. Then, she slid downward.

The floor was... another alley? Lita looked around, bewildered, and had the good sense to step out of the way in case Laurelai was right behind her. She glanced upward.

Blackness. Lita shut her eyes hard, shuddering. The man was standing by a plain metal door, waiting for them.

Dark Alley indeed, Lita thought, crossing her arms and tapping brass. Some interview this is...

@MacThorstenson @Voidus

[MacThorstenson he/him]

Mac grinned.

Here he was out of Sudiov's reach.

Here he was a lion in its den.

Here he was nearly a god.

Here he could be himself, in control.

And no one could stop him.

He noticed his interviewee standing there tapping bronze. 

"Well, I'm glad you made it. Lets step into my office?" He opened the door and revealed an lush entryway, with bookshelves, sitting chairs, and platters of cookies. He grabbed a blanket off of one off the chairs and tossed it to Lita, then walked through the room and into an office with mahogany paneled walls. He sat down at the desk and motioned for Lita to take the other seat. 

"Now is the time for a more formal introduction. My name is Mac, with a single c at the end. I am the former department head of the DA Department of Counterintelligence. Now I just run the spies. And you are?" He paused to wait for her to respond, then continued. "We would like to offer you a job as an agent for us. Would you like to accept that?"

Quote

I lied, this will probably be the last post I can make. 

Unless I'm lying again.

Here are a few pictures of what I imagine Mac's office's looking like. I never can get the description of areas right. I tend to go overly in depth, so here are some pictures.

Spoiler

 

 

@ZincAboutIt @Voidus

Edited February 26, 2019 by MacThorstenson

[+ZincAboutIt she/her]

Lita stepped into the man's office, shocked at the opulence. Something moved out of the corner of her eye and she spun, catching a soft blanket in her arms. She looked at it, then at the man, before shrugging and wrapping the blanket around herself. The brass was already making her warm, but the blanket was so soft. She sat down across from the man at his large desk.

He seemed more at ease here than he had the entire time they were talking in the tavern.

This is his home, Lita thought, taking in the wood paneling, the stuffed armchairs. The right side of her mouth quirked up a bit. He is like a wealthy banker, all holed up in his counting house.

He introduced himself as Mac "with a single C at the end." 

Particular, Lita noted. Perhaps more scholar than banker.

"I'm Lita," she said, fingering one of her brass ear cuffs. Stop fidgeting. "Lita Attar."

She looked up at Mac, taking her glasses off and storing them under her fur wrap. "And yes, yes I would like to accept your offer. Though, you'll forgive me for asking what that job entails? I understand that covert intelligence is, by nature, covert, but broad-strokes... what is it that I will be doing?" 

Quote

Oooh, great aesthetic! Love a good wood-paneled office.

@MacThorstenson @Voidus

Edited February 26, 2019 by ZincAboutIt

[MacThorstenson he/him]

"And yes, yes I would like to accept your offer. Though, you'll forgive me for asking what that job entails? I understand that covert intelligence is, by nature, covert, but broad-strokes... what is it that I will be doing?" Mac sat back and thought for a moment. Then leaned forward and continued speaking.

"Well," He started, "It really comes down to whatever you want to do. The role of intelligence in the DA is an interesting one. We don't really need a department of inteligence, at least not so far as the other guilds are concerned. Most of our members could destroy the alleyverse without a second thought. Our inquisitors are what inspired the lord ruler to create his feeble imitations. My mistbeaver inquisition was a reason that Adonalsium was shattered. Bob from Accounting playing a game of truth and dare was the reason that the Dark One was created.

I could go on, but the point is, spies aren't as important to us as they are to the other guilds. Intelligence isn't needed in the DA, we have brute force. I mean, our founder has literally created a universe. I'm trying to figure out how to do that myself.

But if you look at it from a different perspective, then intelligence is all the DA does.

Our research teams try to find out as much as they can about the world. They, in a sense, try to preform intelligence against the world.

Now to some, spying is a tad bit more exciting than science. I myself am somewhat undecided on the issue. But the intelligence that they bring in is invaluable. They show us where the limits are, so that we can push them, or pull them in. So that we can make ourselves gods." Mac trailed off, with a lustful look in his eye. Shaking himself he stood up and refocused, reaching out and warping a vial of blood to his hand. He walked over to the book shelf then back again, while removing a small needle from the vial.

"This needle looks exactly the same as any other, but it gives me the ability to chirp like a cricket, something that isn't even anatomically possible. It shouldn't work, but it does. It's one of the worlds many secrets.

So As far as I'm concerned, you can work on whatever you want. You can try to discover the worlds secrets, or the secrets of the guilds. You can do both, you can push the limits, or try to be an agent of change in the alleyverse, the only requirement is that you help the DA. I think that my domain can cover everything." He sat down and leaned in. 

"So tell me, where do you want to start?"

@ZincAboutIt @Voidus

Edited February 26, 2019 by MacThorstenson