Having a Bad Day? Stop here for a Good Rant!

[Elsecaller3414 she/her]

Urgh.  For me, it is always panic attacks.  Had another one last night.  Not fun.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Urgh.  For me, it is always panic attacks.  Had another one last night.  Not fun.

 

Oh, yikes. I've had those before. "Not fun" is putting it mildly.

[Elsecaller3414 she/her]

Indeed.  They happen a lot to me, and I am on meds, and those don't ever help.  At all.

[Sarcasm she/her]

From your posts, I think that you're actually a pretty pleasant person to be with, Chouta. I mean, a more than 3 to one rep to post is incredibly impressive. I'm also pretty ostracized by my peers, being the weird nerd who reads a lot, but I don't really mind it that much, because I have relatable friends. And if it's your friends who are being mean, sorry to say it, but maybe you should reconsider them. There are plenty of really nice people out there. You shouldn't have to tailor yourself to others. I don't really care about how I'm seen, because I'm proud to be myself, and that's really all that matters to me. 

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Thank you. I probably do care too much about what people think. Part of the problem is probably that the best people I can find at my school aren't really that relatable to me, or I to them. With that being said, I definitely do do tthings that are frustrating (e.g : attempting to break down everything people say and constantly attempting to completely understand when they really just want to talk, or just simply being overly critical). Luckily, I do have excellent friends outside of school who I relate to and can talk to without being found aggravating. Still, I did actually consider some of those people at school to be my friends, and being told that you're not really the same to them does sting. Thanks for your input, Sarcasm.

 

Adding on to what Sarcasm said, people who treat you that way probably aren't good friends at all. Consider how it would be if the situation were mirrored: If you treated them the way they treat you, how offended would they be? Would they quickly and easily forgive you, or would they cut off contact? I'm not saying you should cut off contact; I don't know your situation, so I don't know exactly how they treat you or how it affects you. But when it comes to people who claim to be our friends, I think there's an inverse of the Golden Rule at play: "If others don't treat you the way they'd want to be treated, consider how much their friendship is really worth." 

[Guest]

I just found out that a large amount of my peers find me an aggravating person to be around. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact that many of them are people who I believed I was on good terms with. Many of them were laughing and/or complaining about me because of behavioral patterns that are found to be annoying, or simply something to make fun of. I know everyone always says not to change yourself for other people, but in order to be tolerated by basically everyone who I like and am going to be stuck with for the next 3 years, I kind of have to. I've spent the last couple of days identifying undesirable behaviors and coming up with better alternatives. At least, for those that I know are not integral to who I am. Now, I'm just faced with the challenge of actually putting changes into effect. All I can really do is hope that people notice the difference and begin to change their opinion of me. It just really hurts to find out that the people you thought were friends to neutral with you are really just tolerating you.

edit : spelling

 

Oh please don't. Get out of that loop right now, you will only end up beating yourself up each time you will fail at "controlling your undesirable behaviors", which will happen as people rarely change, not on fundamental things. What happens though, is we learn to smooth our sharp edges: impatient people will learn to better control their impatience, talkative people will become more mindful of others and try not to interrupt so often but they will still be impatient and talkative. 

 

I do not know what kind of undesirable behaviors you are referring to, but the idea you need to fix yourself leaves a very sour taste in my mouth. People should work on their weakness, yes, but try to adopt a behavior you believe people will appreciate more? This is troublesome. 

 

Why don't you just ask them? You say you consider these people friends, so you could simply be frank and talk to them. Tell them you heard them, tell them it hurt your feelings and you really can't help being yourself. You would be surprised how far this can bring you. It is quite possible some have not even realize how you felt... However it is also possible they simply are jerks. In which advent, I would suggest hunting for new friends. There are nice, kind people out there, which I know may be hard to believe at times, but there are.

[Guest]

Thank you. I probably do care too much about what people think. Part of the problem is probably that the best people I can find at my school aren't really that relatable to me, or I to them. With that being said, I definitely do do tthings that are frustrating (e.g : attempting to break down everything people say and constantly attempting to completely understand when they really just want to talk, or just simply being overly critical). Luckily, I do have excellent friends outside of school who I relate to and can talk to without being found aggravating. Still, I did actually consider some of those people at school to be my friends, and being told that you're not really the same to them does sting. Thanks for your input, Sarcasm.

 

These are what I call sharp edges, not personality flaws: things to be mindful of, not things to change drastically. Being overly critical is absolutely not a bad thing, but it is true some people may find it aggravating. What you can do, if try to read better the non-verbal response of your interlocutor such as to pin-point when you are going too far and when you aren't, but not trying to change the habit all together. It would make you completely miserable.

[Guest]

"Sharp edges." That's an excellent way of putting it. Absolute deletion of a characteristic or behavior doesn't really work. What I need to do is be more conscious of those things I do that aren't always great, and modify them when necessary. I really just needed someone to tell me that. They (those I considered myself on good terms with/"friends") are, for the most part, good people. Yes, they definitely have faults, but I'm glad to be around them, and wouldn't leave unless I knew that the damage they are causing is deliberate. Note, those who made fun of me were not those people, at least, I don't believe so. They were just people I knew. I would have communicated what I thought could be better to the person in question if the tables were turned, and I think that is a much better way of dealing with things. Still, I understand where they are coming from, and I think working on my sharp edges is a good thing to do, even if they aren't necessarily dealing with how they feel about some of my actions in the best possible way.

 

Everyone has sharps edges, everyone. Most of us learn to deal with them as we aged, however some never do. So you are young. You realize you have sharp edges: this is not a bad thing. This is a great thing! Do you realize how desirable those "undesirable behaviors" are on the work market? Seriously, people who are able to speak their mind, who have an analytic mind able to find the fallacies into other people's reasoning are valuable assets into various workplace. If I go about in a meeting, launching an idea, I WANT my overly critical colleague to point out why it is not such a good one. I WANT my argumentation to be challenged because so much is at stake. I need to know the points I am overlooking and more importantly, we are a team. We work together. If one of us thinks he knows better, we need to hear it.  It is a great thing you have going on, but it is possible you need to adjust to the people you are interfacing with.

 

This does not mean changing your being, simply being more "aware" to how people react to yourself. Learn when to push forward and when to back down, because winning an argument is not always the end game. Your friends can help. If you explain to them how difficult it is for you, they can give you pointers, such as "Hey Chouta, you are going too far, it is time to tone it down". However do not go and think you are a bad person or an undeserving person or not good enough on your own: you are. These "undeserving behaviors" can also be strengths. Use them wisely.

[Elsecaller3414 she/her]

I think my worst problem with people is that I am too quiet.  In school and at home, I get walked over because it is almost physically impossible for me to speak up and express my opinion.  One reason why I hate group projects with a passion.

[Voidus]

Every time I get a headache I worry that it's the start of another cluster and I won't be able to do anything for the next month, then the anxiety develops into a panic attack and I make the headache worse.

Why is my brain so dumb sometimes?

[Voidus]

What is a cluster headache?

In a word? Horrible.

Excruciating pain, usually localized behind the eye and it almost never responds to any pain medication however strong it is. Luckily mine's episodic not chronic so it's only for a few weeks or months at a time, some people get them multiple times a day, every day with no relief for their entire lives.

[Delightful]

Voidus, I'm so sorry! :( Are you otherwise dealing with the anxiety?

Edited May 26, 2015 by Delightful

[Kasimir he/him]

In a word? Horrible.

Excruciating pain, usually localized behind the eye and it almost never responds to any pain medication however strong it is. Luckily mine's episodic not chronic so it's only for a few weeks or months at a time, some people get them multiple times a day, every day with no relief for their entire lives.

I'm so sorry. I had a similar problem last semester; the pain medication wasn't working, and when I went to stronger ones, they worked but I was dealing with the pain every single day and it just didn't stop. This went on for three months or so until I was diagnosed with chronic daily headaches and put on amitriptyline. :/ It's not cluster headaches, but I can empathise!

[+Slowswift]

Overgrown lawn, three-wheeled lawn mower, and pathetic water pressure in the shower.

 

First World problems, anyone?

[Kestrel she/her]

Guess who probably failed an algebra test today-the one that decides if I'm exempt from the final! #yayme5ever

Also my mother continues to deny that I have depression and need to see a therapist. "What do you have to be depressed about?"

Don't make me laugh.

[Silverblade5 he/him]

I think my worst problem with people is that I am too quiet.  In school and at home, I get walked over because it is almost physically impossible for me to speak up and express my opinion.  One reason why I hate group projects with a passion.

I know exactly what you mean. A lot of the time, when I'm in a group, I feel like a three legged dog. Two legs barley doing anything, one dragging uselessly behind in the dirt.

Edited May 27, 2015 by Silverblade5

[Kaymyth she/her]

Guess who probably failed an algebra test today-the one that decides if I'm exempt from the final! #yayme5ever

Also my mother continues to deny that I have depression and need to see a therapist. "What do you have to be depressed about?"

Don't make me laugh.

 

Ugh.  Depression isn't a reaction to a situation, it's an actual chemical imbalance in the brain.  It's physical, not emotional, and teens are at a really susceptible stage to it what with all of the brain changes going on.

 

Being a teenager is the hardest thing in the world.  You will get through it and it will get better. 

[Kestrel she/her]

I've told her several times and its really. Irritating. She's a registered nurse. She should know these things. When people aren't kidding around. I've been tempted to go see the counselor several times.

Man, if I'm this knocked up at the end of sophomore year, junior year is going to be the Pits of Hathsin.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

I've told her several times and its really. Irritating. She's a registered nurse. She should know these things. When people aren't kidding around. I've been tempted to go see the counselor several times.

Man, if I'm this knocked up at the end of sophomore year, junior year is going to be the Pits of Hathsin.

I think parents find it hard to accept that their kids have problems. Mine do the same thing. Back when I was a teen and I was going through a rough period, they acted like I was either doing it for the attention or doing it to make them look bad. Sometimes, parents can put their desire to be seen as perfect parents above the well being of their children.

And the funny thing is, the original cause may not be their fault. People go through crap sometimes, and it's not always their fault. But they should be supporting you, not telling you you're faking.

I know I'm just text on a screen, but for what it's worth, I'm always willing to listen.

[Kaymyth she/her]

I've told her several times and its really. Irritating. She's a registered nurse. She should know these things. When people aren't kidding around. I've been tempted to go see the counselor several times.

Man, if I'm this knocked up at the end of sophomore year, junior year is going to be the Pits of Hathsin.

 

Go to the counselor.  That's what s/he's there for.

 

You're mom is wearing parent-blinders.  She might intellectually know these things, but when it comes to her kid, she's having an emotional reaction of, "No, there can't be anything wrong with my child because if there is then I did something wrong and that would make me a bad parent and a horrible person."  Not that either of these things are true, but feelings don't like logic.

 

 

Edit:  *snerk*  I think TwyLight and I just said almost the same thing at the same time.

Edited May 27, 2015 by Kaymyth

[Kaymyth she/her]

By Grabthar's hammer...

 

I've used "in accordance with the prophecy" at least 5 times so far today.  This is insane. 

[Quiver he/him]

By Grabthar's hammer...

I've used "in accordance with the prophecy" at least 5 times so far today. This is insane.

Excellent. You continue to follow the path foretold for you in accordance with prophecy. Edited May 27, 2015 by Quiver

[Elsecaller3414 she/her]

The thing I don't understand about yearbook day at my school is that the ninth graders have a different day (well, hour) than the seventh and eighth graders, so I don't get to sign any yearbooks that belong to my younger friends. 

[Silverblade5 he/him]

The thing I don't understand about yearbook day at my school is that the ninth graders have a different day (well, hour) than the seventh and eighth graders, so I don't get to sign any yearbooks that belong to my younger friends. 

Don't worry. You can sign after school. Besides, schools are always being idiots about one thing or another

[Sarcasm she/her]

Like when your teacher refuses to let you use the Way of Kings for a paper, and when the principal refuses to make Sanderson reading mandatory, despite the multiple persuasive letters and copies of the Stormlight Archive you send him.