Having a Bad Day? Stop here for a Good Rant!

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

I'm sorry. I don't think there's anything worse than when parents are controlling just to control. I can't tell you how many times my mom made up a rule on the fly just to punish me for breaking it ("I let you stay on the computer for four hours yesterday, so you don't get any computer time for the next three days, even though I didn't warn you what would happen ahead of time," or with my sister, "If you do all of your chores without being told for two weeks straight, I'll take you out for ice cream…but I'll let you think that this is a standing offer until we're actually in the ice cream shop, where I will inform you that—surprise!—this was a one-time thing, and if you don't do your chores without being told from now on, I'll just punish you"). 

 

I don't know what to tell you to make it better. I lived with that for years, and now I'm twenty-five and only just looking at moving out because of college, then grad school, and jobs that don't pay enough to live on my own while I was going to school. Just know that your parents are wrong in how they treat you. Being controlling, saying they're always right and you're always wrong because they're the parent and you're the child—that's wrong. I spent years thinking my parents must be in the right for how they treated me, and I'm only starting to see that what they did wasn't okay. 

 

I stumbled across this video late last night when I was looking for something else entirely, and it really validated how I've felt about the whole parent thing. 

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

Okay, what is it about rich people that makes the think appointment times are nothing more than a suggestion? Part of my job is calling to confirm appointments, and without fail, I'll have a east one person tell me "I'm going to be there at this time instead." No "Can I reschedule?" No waiting for me to see if that time is actually available. Just "I'm going to be there then and you'll all just have to deal."

Now, in fairness, we do have people who call to reschedule. But the people who just expect the service department to deal with it? I don't get that.

While I'm ranting about customers, can I say a word about people who call back to tell me I had the wrong number....without telling me what that number was? If you just call to say "You got it wrong, bye!" then I can't guarantee I won't dial your number in the future.

[Orlion Blight]

While I'm ranting about customers, can I say a word about people who call back to tell me I had the wrong number....without telling me what that number was? If you just call to say "You got it wrong, bye!" then I can't guarantee I won't dial your number in the future.

Really? Seems to be too much effort to me on the part of the customer.

 

I've certainly gotten a voice-mail from a wrong number before, but you usually just have to ignore it and it is never a problem again... probably because just that one time there was a slight mis-dial.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

Really? Seems to be too much effort to me on the part of the customer.

I've certainly gotten a voice-mail from a wrong number before, but you usually just have to ignore it and it is never a problem again... probably because just that one time there was a slight mis-dial.

I'm not talking about people who call back immediately and say "You just called, but it's the wrong number." That's easy to deal with. People who call back and say I had the wrong number, but don't tell me what their number is, even when asked? If they tell me what their number is, I can figure out which number I dialed wrong. I don't expect them to figure out how I screwed up, but if they never tell me what number I dialed in the first place, I can never fix my mistake.

[Elsecaller3414]

Well, we have had several "highstorms" in Utah lately.  Lots of Rain.  Although they were coming from the west, so it might have been a near Everstorm instead.

[SmurfAquamarineBodies]

Well, I just learnt that privacy is an illusion when you are looking after a one year old. I had to go to the toilet, the extended edition, and of course he had to join me. So he helped me by pulling all of the toilet paper off the roll and ripping it to peices, even though I kinda needed it. He also discovered the kittens litter box and thought I might want some of the stone things inside it. Was fantastic. I'm never having children, they are such a pain.

[Voidus]

Well, I just learnt that privacy is an illusion when you are looking after a one year old. I had to go to the toilet, the extended edition, and of course he had to join me. So he helped me by pulling all of the toilet paper off the roll and ripping it to peices, even though I kinda needed it. He also discovered the kittens litter box and thought I might want some of the stone things inside it. Was fantastic. I'm never having children, they are such a pain.

I'm gonna be honest here, that sounds adorable.   

We just can't afford to have kids now so I suppose I'm kind of in a state of elevating children to saints though

[Kaymyth]

I submit to the board a complaint.  It is a rather superficial complaint, but one that I feel must be addressed.

 

 

*ahem*  I just watched the new Jem and the Holograms trailer.

 

What...what is this?  Where is the crazy sci-fi holographic technology?  Where is the evil glam rock band that is rivals with the good glam rock band?  Where are the crimefighting shenanigans that result from said rivalry?  Where is the AI that projects the holograms?  WHY ISN'T JEM'S HAIR PINK?!

 

In short, what did I just watch?  Because that sure as rust WASN'T Jem and the Holograms.

 

why must they ruin my childhood why why why

 

 

EDIT:  Okay, it's sometimes pink.  But it should be pinker.  And always pink, with no blonde ever mixed in.  Jem is supposed to be a secret superhero identity, people.

 

Also, my husband is laughing at me now.

Edited May 13, 2015 by Kaymyth

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

I submit to the board a complaint. It is a rather superficial complaint, but one that I feel must be addressed.

*ahem* I just watched the new Jem and the Holograms trailer.

What...what is this? Where is the crazy sci-fi holographic technology? Where is the evil glam rock band that is rivals with the good glam rock band? Where are the crimefighting shenanigans that result from said rivalry? Where is the AI that projects the holograms? WHY ISN'T JEM'S HAIR PINK?!

In short, what did I just watch? Because that sure as rust WASN'T Jem and the Holograms.

why must they ruin my childhood why why why

I'm not familiar with Jem and the Holograms, but it sounds to me like the studio in charge of the Fantastic Four reboot got their hands on your favorite franchise.

[Kaymyth]

I'm not familiar with Jem and the Holograms, but it sounds to me like the studio in charge of the Fantastic Four reboot got their hands on your favorite franchise.

 

Heh.  It's not even a favorite.  But I did watch it religiously as a child in the '80s.  Honestly, mostly I'm bitter because the drek they're churning out with this thing is not worthy of cosplay. 

 

 

I had the perfect wig.....

Edited May 13, 2015 by Kaymyth

[SmurfAquamarineBodies]

I'm gonna be honest here, that sounds adorable.

We just can't afford to have kids now so I suppose I'm kind of in a state of elevating children to saints though

It is adorable, after the fact, not while it is happening.

Children are most definitely not saints. They are a surge of chaos that takes control of the house and no amount of cleaning will ever really match the mess they will create.

[Sarcasm]

It is adorable, after the fact, not while it is happening.

Children are most definitely not saints. They are a surge of chaos that takes control of the house and no amount of cleaning will ever really match the mess they will create.

Hmmm... you were that once 

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

It is adorable, after the fact, not while it is happening.

Children are most definitely not saints. They are a surge of chaos that takes control of the house and no amount of cleaning will ever really match the mess they will create.

 

Having babysat and worked in children's ministries for years, I have to agree. They have a knack for finding the one thing you don't want to have to fix…and messing it up. 

 

Don't get me wrong—kids are adorable. They do some of the cutest things. But they can also be draining. Not just because of the constant messes, but because of having to figure out how to communicate at their level, working with their short attention spans, figuring out what will keep them entertained by trial and error, wondering why they suddenly hate the movie they loved last week, trying to find a way to tell them what you just said fifty times without shouting because you know shouting will either make them cry or make them defiant and you don't want either because you really do like the kid, you just wish they'd stop insisting on five brownies for dinner…. Basically, I know I'll probably miss babysitting and teaching Sunday School in a few years, but not now. Right now, I'm just glad it's over. 

 

And yes. I'm really, really hoping I land a position as either a teen or an adult librarian. Not a children's librarian. There's a reason the man who leads Minecraft Mondays calls the signup list his "tale of woe."  

[Queen Elsa Steelheart]

Jet Lag is extremely irritating. Especially when you've never experienced it before and wake up at 4am randomly and tired at 1pm in the day 

Edited May 13, 2015 by Queen Elsa Steelheart

[Briar King]

At the dentist. my molar cracked 2 days ago. I haven't been since around 2002-2003 so I'm dreading what he is going to tell me I need. I'm sure it ll be quite a list.

[Sarcasm]

It's been raining all day, and it doesn't even have the decency to be a highstorm. Just smoggy, relentless, grey rain. It cleared up for about 15 minutes at noon, and we played Capture the Flag, where I almost got the flag before slipping in a huge pile of mud and literally submerging myself in a mudpool, right in front of a very specific individual. After that, I had to sit through an exam, caked in dirt, and with less than flattering smelling clothes. 

[Kestrel]

I have cried no less than three times today.

First off, band. In which I have three solos, one of which I can't play. I know that I can't play this one, and I'm shaking so badly and can barely breathe under that pressure so I sound awful anyway. To make matters worse, both the euthonium and saxophone sections are talking trash about each soloist. Even the current picc, who plays her part wonderfully and my good friend who plays bassoon. Now, you can talk crap about me all day. Do it. I don't storming care. But talk trash about my friend and I will all but kill you. I should have punched them all out. Storming cremlings.

But then algebra comes and I'm already in a bitter mood. And we have to take this quiz. Straight memorizing. I spend a while last night doing it and what do I do? I forget the whole thing. So I fill in what I think I know while cursing silently. I can hear one of my other friends trying to cheer me on a bit but eventually I give up and turn it in. After the quiz we get free time so he comes over, and we work a bit on homework and I just.. spill. I hate crying. I hate being weak. But I do it anyway. The whole morning just built up.

Oh, and did I mention that the ap world exam is tomorrow? Like the real one? Yeah. So guess what's been eating at me the whole day. Surprise, surprise. So I go in after school for some last minute help and I frickin cry in front of my ap world teacher too. I'm sick of this.

And now I'm stressing again. Its 10:30 almost. The night before the exam. And I'm crying in the dark. I'm stressing about everything. My Spanish grade is gone, and my algebra grade is following. I have this huge college credit exam tomorrow and my other teachers decide that it would be wise to have quizzes and tests and projects due right after it.

I honestly don't think I'm gonna make it through these next few weeks.

[Zas678]

You will make it through. Yes, you have a hard test tomorrow. Yes, you've been going through some hard things. But guess what? You've made it through so far! You've done the practice tests, you've worked hard, you've learned new things!

 

You'll be able to do the test as well. Yes, it'll be hard. But you've prepared for it! And if you don't do well? It's just a test. You'll still have learned new things and understand the world around you a little better. And if you do do well, good job! Sometimes it's nice to see hard work rewarded. We don't always get to see it rewarded. Sometimes the hard things we do only will reflect on the inside. Sometimes it'll just develop us for the things that are on the way. But sometimes we'll see the fruit of our labor. That's nice too.

 

You can do it! Just do YOUR best. Not THE best. That's all you need to do. 

 

Good luck tomorrow! And good luck these next few weeks. There will be hard times, but remember what you've already accomplished. You've done hard things, and you can keep on doing them.

[Sarcasm]

It is adorable, after the fact, not while it is happening.

Children are most definitely not saints. They are a surge of chaos that takes control of the house and no amount of cleaning will ever really match the mess they will create.

I'm pure. I'm a child and stuff, I'm so storming pure I practically belch rainbows."

-Lift    

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

I don't want to see my grandmother this week.

I know that sounds awful, and maybe it is. Maybe I'm overreacting pre-emptively and this visit will be the best one ever. She's a sweet woman, kind and generous--but also one of the most passive aggressive people I've ever met. She'll make snide little remarks about anything she doesn't approve of, and the list is extensive. She once complained so much about the intentionally dysfunctional family dynamics in The Incredibles that we had to turn it off. And she does that with everything--a room she doesn't think is clean enough, a meal she doesn't think is healthy or frugal enough, a method for vacuuming the floor she doesn't like...the list is extensive.

Well, I'm graduating on Saturday, with a Master's degree in library science. And I'm just hoping she doesn't know much about the American Library Association, because I know she'll complain about their policies, and the fact I had to join, and the states where I've applied for jobs because they're not close to her, and the fact I've cut my hair into a bob instead of leaving it long the way she likes....

I want to think the best of her and put the past aside on my special day, but past experiences don't make me hopeful for this visit.

[Kipper]

Nice work, Twi! Happy graduation. All I have on Saturday is a piano recital.

Anyway, I came to rant about my parents. Fyi, I am a bit obsessed with personality types, so there may be some technical jargon thrown around here.

When I argue, I argue fair. I'm an NT (or analyst) type; I can't help it. What that means is whenever a fight breaks out, my heart rate slows down, I become more calm, and my voice remains at a steady level. I would say that I don't thrive on debate, but that would be a lie. Again, can't help it. It's a failing of us ENTJs. Hyper-rational, hard to access emotion. There's nothing that I find joy in more than a battle of wits; a meeting of minds. Essentially, my way of arguing is to be completely rational, like I literally CANNOT get emotional about high-pressure stuff. For example, I can look at a mass shooting and think, "Wow, he could have accomplished that task a lot better," whereas my mom would have a completely opposite reaction. At this point, it sounds like I'm criticizing myself...I said the previous sentence not to emphasize how badass, cold, or evil I am, but just to state a fact and emphasize the difference in fighting styles. I often wish that it would be easier for me to get emotional about something.

At any rate, onto the story. I was having a routine disagreement with my mom about my driving. Remember that I speak in almost a monotone. All of a sudden, she says, "You're being belligerent." Now, I can handle it when people throw emotion at me, but not logical fallacies or slimy arguing tactics. Her statement was akin to saying, "You're being defensive," where you cannot say anything to escape the defensive trap. Basically, the conversation was over. I said as much. I calmly said, "I doubt that, at this point, there is anything I can say that will not sound increasingly belligerent. For that reason, I also doubt that we will be able to have a productive conversation." Those exact words. Then she called me disrespectful. And brought my dad into it, who had not even BEEN THERE for the first part. I hate that too, when both parents gang up on you (when one wasn't even there, but just agrees with the other) and call you disrespectful, and tell you can't express your opinion, no matter how calm, clear, and honest it may be, because parents. Because teenager. Because life experience. Because if you disagree with them, it's disrespect. They've let me do so many things that not a lot of kids get the chance to do. I've taught at National Leadership Training events for some Scouting groups. Yet, whenever we argue, they still treat me like some little kid who's ruled by his emotions and can't come up with his own thoughts.

Anyway, after they blew up at me (they also have a problem with me being stoic, btw, for some reason), I wrote out the entire argument, with my critiques on various parts. I'm going to wait until tomorrow to give it to them, just to make absolutely sure that I'm not writing in anger.

[Kaymyth]

Anyway, after they blew up at me (they also have a problem with me being stoic, btw, for some reason), I wrote out the entire argument, with my critiques on various parts. I'm going to wait until tomorrow to give it to them, just to make absolutely sure that I'm not writing in anger.

 

My advice?  Don't give it to them.  At all.  It will not have the effect that you want it to; all it will do is make them more determined that you are being disrespectful.  I know that you're trying to come at this from a rational point of view, but when you're a T dealing with an F, all you're going to do is make emotions run higher.

 

This advice brought to you by your friendly neighborhood INFP who spends waaaaay too much time thinking about how other people think.

[Orlion Blight]

At the dentist. my molar cracked 2 days ago. I haven't been since around 2002-2003 so I'm dreading what he is going to tell me I need. I'm sure it ll be quite a list.

 

About a couple years ago, one of my back molars shattered whilst I was eating pizza... so I also swallowed it. It was dead, so there was no pain but I went to the dentist and dreaded what would happen... since I did not have dental insurance at the time. 

 

It does kinda suck, but the other problems that will inevitably show up can be triaged, so you can spread out the "work" as you wish. 

[Kipper]

My advice?  Don't give it to them.  At all.  It will not have the effect that you want it to; all it will do is make them more determined that you are being disrespectful.  I know that you're trying to come at this from a rational point of view, but when you're a T dealing with an F, all you're going to do is make emotions run higher.

 

This advice brought to you by your friendly neighborhood INFP who spends waaaaay too much time thinking about how other people think.

Huh. I hadn't considered that. Thanks for the advice. I just don't know what other way there is to make them see that from my point of view, I'm not being disrespectful. There is a fundamental gap in communication that needs to be fixed.

[Kaymyth]

Huh. I hadn't considered that. Thanks for the advice. I just don't know what other way there is to make them see that from my point of view, I'm not being disrespectful. There is a fundamental gap in communication that needs to be fixed.

 

I speak from experience; writing a letter as a teenager to parental figures about an issue trying to explain things just backfires in the worst way.

 

I think your best bet would be to phrase it as an apology.  I know it sucks, but it becomes a matter of acknowledging and accepting the teen/parent power dynamic and your current level in the hierarchy.  Something like, "I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to upset you, and I genuinely wasn't trying to be disrespectful.  It's just that I really get into a debate mode, and when that happens my brain gets replaced with Mr. Spock's.  I go all logical and forget that other people have emotional reactions to arguments."  So, apology, explanation, and admission of failing while specifying that said failing wasn't necessarily what they took it to be.